Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Jen: Does his raised arm look too big in proportion or is it just me? And what is going on between his pecs? Is that an arrow intention? I just don’t understand some of those ridges. Sarah: His obliques are smiling at me. No thank you. Elyse: That is some fucked up forced perspective Sarah: MY ARMPIT LET ME SHOW YOU IT. Shana: Are we sure his arm isn’t … Continue reading Cover Snark: Armpit Show and Tell →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: What the hell. Kiki: No, thank you. I don’t want it. Sarah: Who is designing these covers. Like what the ever loving crap Are they trying to be like Indies? Single dude on the cover? They’ve got it all wrong. He needs to be bald, grimy, dehydrated, and looking at his junk. Elyse: Is that a Jonas brother? From Karen: His left forearm is really creepy. It looks to … Continue reading Cover Snark: Juicy Pickle →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! It’s a real “Christmas in July” edition. From Sharon Sarah: At thumbnail size, it looks like he is grabbing hold of an entirely different package. Elyse: Greasy Santa … Sarah: Shiny Claus Claudia: I understand that chimneys can present a challenge, but all that slickness is not appealing!! Sarah: WHEEEE! Amanda: All that soot is really going to stick to that baby oil. Also…those lights are on, which I fear … Continue reading Cover Snark: Saint Nick the Oil Slick →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Pam G: Just the ticket for a cold winter night. Sarah: HE NEEDS TO SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. That much red should not be coming out of any region of the body, let alone THAT ONE. Lara: He’s really squeezing the wiener… From MegCat: That glowing green smoke suggests that something smells really bad, which explains his irritated expression. That torso also looks a bit off at first glance … Continue reading Cover Snark: An Us Anus →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Is she poopin? Elyse: The moment you realize it wasn’t just a fart. Sarah: That’s what the rose is for. She might need a few more for poo-pourri purposes. (Also, hand to heaven, if you have to share a bathroom, especially while traveling, Poo-Pourri works REALLY well.) Elyse: I hope that’s a typo. Sarah: $10 says the title came first and the book was built around it. Elyse: Did … Continue reading Cover Snark: “Mourning Wood” →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Look at those teeny tiny rings I imagine she laid all these things out on the bed for her husband to come home to lol Elyse: Are the rings for the babies after they’re born? Sarah: The marketing message here is very confusing. Is there an order of operations here? From Karen H: This cover isn’t awful except for the blonde. The guy looks like an actual photograph but … Continue reading Cover Snark: Shiny Sheffrou →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: I have zero idea what the title of this book means. Also his necklace looks like a giant paper clip. Sarah: Clippy was alive…until Bax. Elyse: Whoa that’s dark. Wearing the body of Clippy. Sarah: There was help with this document…until Bax. Elyse: In his defense, Word is the worst and the fact that it continues to be the standard is baffling. Sarah: Entirely. WordPerfect or GTFO. Sneezy: Is … Continue reading Cover Snark: Lice Check →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Syntha: This dude’s face. Sarah: He looks so…bored? How is he both creepy AND bored? Elyse: What is the situation with his hair? Is it glowing? Sarah: So many people wanted Instagram filter faces, and now the trend has moved into Photoshop Outer Glow Hair. Amanda: I’m full on guffawing at 8am. Sarah: Omg that guy’s face Amanda: I know! His bottom half is a gargoyle and I’m picturing … Continue reading Cover Snark: Gargoyle Jesus →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: Is that a Bro of the Jonas variety? Why aren’t they looking at each other? Is his breath bad? What’s with her hand? and SIXTY SEVEN people gave the cover a thumbs up on NetGalley. what Claudia: Something odd is going on with her hair too! Amanda: As someone who also has long hair, I know she’s uncomfortable. Ow! Sarah: That is ALSO real housewives hair. Sneezy: I get … Continue reading Cover Snark: A Crotch Rocket →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: This is both neat and also awkwardly posed? Kiki: I love the idea of this cover, but it is just so obvious that these two people are not organically in the same photo They’re looking beyond each other? Sarah: They’re touching but don’t seem to be connected. Tara: It’s giving more “Okay, okay. Don’t look, but did you see that person? I said don’t look! Her dress is TERRIBLE.” … Continue reading Cover Snark: Oh Hey, Katy Perry! →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Ow my eyeballs Tara: Even he’s looking away from it Sarah: Individual Sarah Seeks Eye Doctor Appointment. Those words are appearing on my lids when I close my eyes. It’s like staring at the sun. Sneezy: I thought we were friends. Elyse: I’m sorry, the what?? Sarah: What. Amanda: Did they misspell tight end? Update: That is a rugby ball not a football and tightheads are a rugby position. … Continue reading Cover Snark: What Have They Done to Jude Deveraux →