Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: More Questions Than Answers

Plugging It In by Lexxie Couper. A couple is making out in the sky above a bridge. A bald shirtless man is also in the sky, looking sad and down at his crotch.

Happy Monday! Need some Cover Snark? From Judyw: Not sure if this is the right category for the cover snark recommendation or not. But OMG check out WINGMAN by Paedon Sims. Is that an oreo cookie? Is that his linen napkin stuck in his armpit? I need answers. Sarah: Many of the decisions that went into this cover were unfortunate. Amanda: My brain knows this is dirt, but it’s also blue? From Jen: The guys … Continue reading Cover Snark: More Questions Than Answers

Cover Snark: Bears, Transformers, & Aliens – Oh My!

Bear in a Bakery by Liz Paffell. A hot pink cover with yet another shirtless man standing behind a smaller grizzly bear, who is on all fours.

Happy Monday! Let’s have some Cover Snark! From Squee_Me: Cover snark! I’m not sure if this is the right place to share a proposed cover snark…I saw this in a Kobo 2 for 1 sale. The guy’s abs look like the Transformers Autobot logo (I know this thanks to my husband and 11 yr old kid) or maybe a face of an alien. And now I can’t unsee it. Also the tattoo and his right … Continue reading Cover Snark: Bears, Transformers, & Aliens – Oh My!

Cover Snark: More Arms and a Big Pickle

Gladiator's Sanctuary by Robin O'Connor. It looks like the bare chests of two men were stacked on top of one another. Two sets of pecs and two sets of arms, but no head.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Let’s look at some weird ones. From Delight: “Please enjoy this image that has traumatized our little girl group.” Sarah: I don’t know if enjoy is the right word but I can’t look away, that is for certain. Elyse: I am not okay. His head is in the other dude’s body cavity. I can’t see it any other way. Tara: Did we do this one before? For sure we did … Continue reading Cover Snark: More Arms and a Big Pickle

Cover Snark: Happy Halloween!

Lady Elinor's Escape by Linda McLaughlin. A woman in a white dress has her back turned to us. However, the way her dress is fashion and her hands make it looks like her head and body is on backwards. As she lifts the hem of her dress, there are giant chess pieces that take up the bottom half of the cover.

Happy Halloween, everyone! What better way to celebrate than with some Cover Snark! From Kris B: I’ve been trying to figure out why this woman’s pose disturbs me so much. She is clearly facing away, and her right arm could twist back that much. But my brain wants to say she’s facing forward. Just me? Sarah: Definitely not just you – the proportions on that right (??) arm are very distracting. I mean, it should … Continue reading Cover Snark: Happy Halloween!

Cover Snark: Sometimes, Diagrams Are Necessary

The Madam's Lover by Serenity Snow. One woman has her back to us. She is topless and has on tight leather shorts. Her back appears to be very long. Another woman is in the background looking at her while a jaguar stalks nearby.

Are we ready to Cover Snark? Tara: Have we done this one yet? Amanda: definitely not… I feel like we should have seen a butt crack by now. Carrie: That jaguar is so done with this shit Lara: Maybe it’s the angle, but the curvature of that spine seems a bit off? It’s vaguely C-shaped. Also, which one is the assassin? Maya: Totally, I’m like hey girl can I refer you to a chiropractor? Sarah: … Continue reading Cover Snark: Sometimes, Diagrams Are Necessary

Cover Snark: Is It Too Early for Easter?

Planet Oster Fertility Fusion by J.L. Logosz and Vera Valentine. A giant purple Saturn and a phallic metal rocket take up the bottom half of the cover. The top half is three shirtless men in different color shades: yellow, pink, and blue. They also have bunny ears.

It’s Monday morning and time for some Cover Snark! From Rebecca: For your consideration for cover snarkiness because the title hurts my brain. Sarah: Sir, I am just as confused as you are. Elyse: WTF is happening with his armpit? Also it sounds like the baby she’s carrying is her roommate’s dad so is this a time travel issue? Sarah: Wait, maybe the cover model is pregnant with their roommate’s dad? That’s going to be … Continue reading Cover Snark: Is It Too Early for Easter?

Cover Snark: Reader Submissions

Zach by Hebby Roman. The top half of a Civil War soldier looks out onto a field with a canon. A tiny baby in a bassinet with floating shoes at the base of the bassinet lurks in the bottom lefthand corner. The title and author name is in bright red, script font.

This Monday’s Cover Snark is all thanks to you! We love it when you send us some crazysauce covers. From Susan: For Cover Snark. Because if I have to keep looking at the bad hair and unpleasant facial expressions, so do you. Sarah: Did we snark this already? If so, did we figure out definitively what on earth happened to his hair? Amanda: We have definitely seen this couple. But maybe not on this cover? … Continue reading Cover Snark: Reader Submissions

Cover Snark: MVP

Alien Pilot Needs a Nanny by Tasha Black. A shirtless and striped blue man has his military jacket unbuttoned. In his arms is a striped, blue little girl wearing a dress in the same military jacket material. She has a severe bob haircut.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Let’s get into it. Susan: Ma’am – ma’am, I need you to stop right there and put down the disembodied hand. Wait, no, it’s a coffee, I retract that snark and go back to my original “Did you know you’ve got a tree in your hair”. Amanda: I love that in the terms of fading in and out of time, the coffee cup is the last or rather first thing … Continue reading Cover Snark: MVP

Cover Snark: Just Give Us Pockets!

Backhand by Elise Faber. A wet man wearing jeans. Hands are coming around from behind him and are reaching into his pockets.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Let’s get into it! From Pam G: I saw this metal boy and I have no words. And I always have words. (edited) Sarah: Is that a tail? Is his ass about to do battle with his horns? …Is that a sentence I just typed in all seriousness? Wow, today is weird. Tara: Maybe they connect, so he can hang things off the horns without worrying they’ll slide off? Shana: … Continue reading Cover Snark: Just Give Us Pockets!

Cover Snark: Nature’s Pocket

The Major and the Pickpocket by Lucy Ashford. A feminine hand is cupping a man's butt in a pair of beige breeches. There are no pockets. Dangling from her fingers is a pocket watch.

Hey all! Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: My assumption is 1. Urine is involved and 2. The dude I with the pickaxe who isn’t allowed to cuddle gets the worst of it Carrie: Every single part of my Gold Rush country body wants to turn inside out. I didn’t drag fourth graders to every mine in a 120 mile radius so that someday someone could refer to the Gold Rush in terms that suggest … Continue reading Cover Snark: Nature’s Pocket

Cover Snark: The Crotch Check Pose

Orion by Tasha Black. A very oily, shirtless man with long, neon blue hair is gazing down at his crotch.

It’s a Monday! Can we interest you in some Cover Snark? From Amy: Is this cover snark worthy? or is it just another alien dude checking himself out? Sarah: Both? Both. Yes, both. Amanda: There are so many. Sarah: What are they looking for? Are they surprised? Is this a conversation? Amanda: Wait a sec, this wasn’t here a minute ago. Elyse: So. Shiny. Sarah: Did it just bring me a beer? Nice! Carrie: Every … Continue reading Cover Snark: The Crotch Check Pose

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