Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: A Lot Going on at the Carnival

Crow's Fate by Kim Fielding. A very blond cover model with blond hair, blond beard, and pale eyes. He looks mad. Behind him is a carnival wagon, a crystal ball, and a merry-go-round. The cover border is striped circus pattern with lights.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Syntha: I suppose it’s not awful, but there’s definitely too much going on. Amanda: That man is on too many covers Shana: THIS dude, again? Sarah: He went to the carnival! He needed a selfie. Shana: Does he hate crystal balls and carny fun? Smile for your selfie, carnival goer, you look angry! Sneezy: But Shana! How will we know he’s Broody McBrooderson then? Shana: This cover is so … Continue reading Cover Snark: A Lot Going on at the Carnival

Cover Snark: More Reader Submissions

Mated to Mek by Tamsin Ley. A blue spacey cover with a man embracing a woman from the back. However, the biggest issue is the title font. The K in Mek is blocky and looks more like an H, making the title seem like Mated to Meh.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Lisa: I feel bad nominating this cover for Cover Snark because the artwork is actually pretty good. There are no disembodied heads, intimidating nipples or concerning skin conditions. But! Why that font? Ever since I spotted it, I keep reading it as “Mated to Meh.” I cannot let that go. Elyse: Mek is the sound I’m making looking at the cover. Sarah: This sounds like a reddit post: “AITA … Continue reading Cover Snark: More Reader Submissions

Cover Snark: What are the Cupcakes?

3 Sexy Bosses & Cupcakes by Kathilee Riley. A busty woman has her hands in her hair, front and center, like she's auditioning for a shampoo commercial. Three men are behidn her. Two are shirtless and flexing; both are looking at their crotches. The third one in the middle is staring straight ahead and is wearing a suit. The background is white with lots of cupcakes.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Melodie: My brain immediately started singing “One of these things is not like the others…” Poor guy in the back, you can tell he is just so DONE with the other three. Every single time they go to a bakery they have to do the sexy cupcake dance before ordering and he just wants to grab his coffee and muffin and go before they get banned from yet another … Continue reading Cover Snark: What are the Cupcakes?

Cover Snark: Questionable Faces

Moonlight Phoenixes by Alexa Piper. Two dudes (which look like be like 3D models and are fully clothed) appear to be interrupted mid-kiss. They are embracing, but are looking at the reader with confusion and disgust. The background is a reddish-pink cityscape.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Kerri: There’s a whole lot going on in the background, but I’m really distracted by the plank through his skull. I wonder if that has a negative impact on his pirating. Sarah: Ok who does that model look like? The resemblance is bugging me. Amanda: I bet it’s one of those fake props to intimidate his enemies. Sarah: So this guy uses the plank through the head, another pirate … Continue reading Cover Snark: Questionable Faces

Cover Snark: Tricky Fonts Strike Again!

Flawless by Elsie Silver. A brunette couple are attempting to kiss in front of a barn. However, it looks more like they're just smushing their cheeks together and dragging their mouths across one another's.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: What are these people doing? Tara: I think he’s about to roll his mouth across hers. Carrie: This is why you have to practice on pillows, you guys. Sarah: If it weren’t for their hands I would swear they were photographed in two separate locations very far apart. Sarah: I love love love the illustration, the poses of the character is and the SMOLDER on that face, MY GOSH. … Continue reading Cover Snark: Tricky Fonts Strike Again!

Cover Snark: Apologies to Jake Gyllenhaal

Lone Wolf's Claim by L.E. Wilson. Most of the cover is black and white except for a random swath of blue in one corner. A long-haired man is looking over his shoulder and he looks very similar to actor Jake Gyllenhaal. A black wolf prowls behind him.

It’s Cover Snark time! From Kerri: I saw this cover and was immediately uncomfortable. And the longer I looked at it, the more uncomfortable I got. Either her body is made of cloth, or his body ends at his chest. Sarah: “Oh! How bendy!” Elyse: Is that the “surprise” in surprise dukes? Sarah: Or maybe it’s tickly beards that are the surprise? Lara: Her foot seems too big in comparison to the rest of her … Continue reading Cover Snark: Apologies to Jake Gyllenhaal

Cover Snark: Great Reader Submissions

Legion by Tia Didmon. A shirtless man is covered in gold glitter, which appears to be flaking off in a cloud behind him. He's surrounded by fire and a gold dragon flies in the background.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Susan: WHAT are they looking at??? Is it… is it… his PEEN????? Sarah: “You dropped your puck.” Whatever it is they’re both looking at it. Tara: The guy on the left looks like he’s about to say “I’ve told you already. I am not a doctor.” Sneezy: “Okay, but, does it look like I need to go see one? Do you think the colour’s weird?” Tara: Or, “Nice Line… … Continue reading Cover Snark: Great Reader Submissions

Cover Snark: Bartending Bears

Tropical Bartender Bear by Zoe Chant. A shirtless buff man in a black cowboy hat holds a tropical drink, complete with little paper umbrella inside. Behind him is a grizzly bear, a palm trees, and a sunset.

Let’s snark on some covers! Tara: Sapphic romance is at it again. Sarah: I can’t tell if that’s a crocodile or an alligator but…is croc/gator in the O hole a euphemism? Tara: That really IS the question, isn’t it? I mean in addition to “why?” Sarah: “It’s all rather…dentata isn’t it, darling?” Elyse: Is this a croc/dog romance? Carrie: Oh I don’t think that will end well! Lara: I hope the bartending bears have a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Bartending Bears

Cover Snark: Chocolate in the Desert?

The Chocolate Works by Robin Knight. A man in a white chef's jacket holds a platter of chocolate and brownies while he smiles. Behind him is a desert with two large mesas.

Happy Cover Snark Monday! Amanda: Sir that is going to be a melty mess in under an hour. Elyse: Imagine you’re already lost in the desert, thirsty as fuck, and some dude comes up to you with a chocolate sampler platter. Carrie: I mean… not even an iced mocha? I didn’t know you could go wrong with chocolate but here we are. Tara: I’d tuck a couple of brownies in my bag for later and … Continue reading Cover Snark: Chocolate in the Desert?

Cover Snark: Blue Steel

The Chose by Theresa Meyers. A shirtless man is in the foreground. He has on a hard hat, that also has goggles on them. He has tan tight pants, thick work gloves, and a wrist blade of sorts. He's looking at us over his shoulder. There is a blonde woman in the background wearing a dark, off the shoulder dressed. She's crouched down. Both appear to be knee-deep in water.

Let’s dive into some Cover Snark! From lils: Wheeewww. If his pits smell so bad he noticed…how does he think his ‘fated mate’ will react? Sarah: How many pit sniff covers have we featured by now? Also that dragon is hellaciously cute. I bet his name is Pinky. Amanda: Okay, but have any of the other pit sniff covers featured an angry body odor dragon? Sarah: Poor Pinky the Body Odor Dragon. So unappreciated. Sneezy: … Continue reading Cover Snark: Blue Steel

Cover Snark: An Abundance of Nuns, Firemen, & More

Nanny for the Firemen by Cassie Cole. A man and woman are about to kiss. She is blonde and wearing a ruffly yellow shirt. He is shirtless and just has on brown pants. Flames, embers, and smoke swirl around them. In the top left corner is another shirtless man with an axe over his shoulder. In the right corner, another man wields an axe but is wearing some sort of breath apparatus.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Gloriamarie Sarah: Have we snarked this before? I’m getting all the alien/nanny/childcare books confused. Amanda: We have snarked MANY Tasha Black covers. Sarah: I still have many questions about the absence of social support networks and child care in this universe. Claudia: Can they really be an advanced society? I think not. I do think we haven’t done this one yet but many like it. The last one had … Continue reading Cover Snark: An Abundance of Nuns, Firemen, & More

Cover Snark: We Have Llamas

Hoofin It by RJ Blain. A man with a glowing blue eye and carefully sculpted facial hair is casually leaning over a llama.

From Syntha: I don’t know, but his head is proportionally wrong compared to his torso. Sarah: This is a real conundrum from Syntha – is that the model’s original head (minus the tusks, though I could be wrong about that). Elyse: I’m going to say no. The jaw and neck are both too long. Tara: TIL that orcs can be crossfitters, too. Sneezy: I hate puke green. He is beetle green, and somehow I still … Continue reading Cover Snark: We Have Llamas

↑ Back to Top