Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: Scream Inside Your Heart

Christmas Miracles in Holly Wreath by Rachel Eliker. A come-to-life Ken doll stands in front of a Christmas tree. His stare is blank and concerning.

It’s another Monday and that means it’s time for another Cover Snark! From Carole: One Nipple headed west, one missing in the east. That is the one of the worst photo-shopped backgrounds – it looks like giant mutant carnation stalks starting to envelop him from the right – and ohh what can the SBTB do with that series title Farm Pleasures?? The mind boggles… Tara: If I never read the phrase “Farm Pleasures” again, it … Continue reading Cover Snark: Scream Inside Your Heart

Cover Snark: Too Smooth

Aspen by T.K. Lucaith. Two very white, nude, and hairless people are kissing atop a lake. Like physically standing on water, with mountains in the background.

Hey! It’s Monday and we think it’s the perfect time for Cover Snark. From Jen: This motorcycle seems to be running over the guy, or maybe it’s a ghost cycle? Amanda: Run him over! He knows what he did! Also, his abs could technically be speed bumps. Sarah: This is some fine vintage Poser art. and I’m reasonably sure from the cover copy that the hero is a motorcycle shifter. Elyse: Is that the Black … Continue reading Cover Snark: Too Smooth

Cover Snark: Tiger & Chad’s First Date

Taken by the Tiger by Milly Taiden. A tiger is leaping and looks like he's about to pounce onto a ripped blond man who is staring at his crotch.

It’s Monday! You deserve some Cover Snark! From Carole: Not sure if someone else caught this one – just sooo bad. Sarah: Also the gentleman delivering gifts needs to (a) CLOTHE the NEWBORNS and (b) possibly put on his own pants. Tara: What was he holding in the original photo? Kiki: if a man gives me twins as a Christmas gift I’m going to be GREATLY displeased. Catherine: He’s going to drop that baby right … Continue reading Cover Snark: Tiger & Chad’s First Date

Cover Snark: Dr. Nips is On Call

The Midas Touch by Rochelle Summers. A shirtless man in scrubs stretches and flexes is biceps in front of a window. A stethoscope is photoshopped around his neck.

Welcome back to Cover Snark, where everyone’s favorite shirtless doctor has made a return! Tara: His wang is the ghost? Or it’s named Ghost? Lara: He’s just flexing… right? I mean he isn’t straining with his hands on his nethers? RIGHT?! Carrie: Whatever he’s doing he’s much more interested in his own penis then he is likely to be about me. Tara: Carrie, tell the truth. How long have you been waiting for someone that’s … Continue reading Cover Snark: Dr. Nips is On Call

Cover Snark: Tanner and Megan Make It Weird

Cover Snark: Tanner and Megan Make It Weird

Happy Cover Snark Monday! From Kerri: I am having super uncomfortable Alien flashbacks looking at this cover. Sarah: That’s how I feel after eating Brussels sprouts. Tara: This is giving me paranormal Flashdance vibes. Catherine: Yeah, my periods feel like that too. Sarah: LOLOL Catherine. Sneezy: Haaa Catherine, that was me for the past three days Except my wolf wasn’t so obliging as hers. It felt more like it was ingrown. And decided to chew … Continue reading Cover Snark: Tanner and Megan Make It Weird

Cover Snark: No Fires in the Library, Please

Shadow Beast Shifters Rejected by Jaymin Eve. A man and woman are both on fire in a study or library. She is wrapped around him, legs around his waist and his arms are outstretched to the sides.

Happy Cover Snark Monday! From Dee: His arms and whatever happened to his hands is scary enough but if you only look at the thumbnails, you wonder where her second arm went. I’m also not sure if he’s a vampire or just sniffing her hair in a REALLY creepy way. Enjoy. Amanda: Look ma, no hands. Sarah: Wheeeeeeee! Also, if you’re going to flaming firebang, go for it, but maybe not near so many books? … Continue reading Cover Snark: No Fires in the Library, Please

Cover Snark: Chorts

The Dark Lord by Kathyrn LeVeque. It's a shirtless man in chainmail shorts surrounded by fire.

Happy Cover Snark Monday! Claudia: Not horrid but I can’t stop looking at the way her eyes are oddly spaced. Also smudgy? Sarah: One of her eyes is way bigger than the other. She looks like Angie Harmon Claudia: So odd!! I hope it’s just some fluke with the tweet announcement I saw. Elyse: She looks drunk. Shana: Her arms look oddly proportioned too. Lara: I thought she was rolling her eyes… Carrie: I think … Continue reading Cover Snark: Chorts

Cover Snark: Just What

Alien Thanksgiving by Zara Zenia. A blue alien man stands before a barely cooked turkey and is resting on a bed of grapes.

Hey! It’s time for Cover Snark! From Cheryl: This is for cover snark because it’s so very very confusing. Sarah: I agree, very confusing. But I do like that bra! Elyse: I thought she just had a really fuzzy throw blanket. Tara: Me too, Elyse! Lara: Points for semi-original placement of wolf? the new throw blanket pose? Catherine: the wolf looks like he has a headache, and I don’t blame him. From Rachel: It just … Continue reading Cover Snark: Just What

Cover Snark: Hair Speedos

Wrak - Ayya by Leigh Roberts. A caveman stands in front of the opening to a cave. It looks like he's wearing underpants made of hair.

You all look like you need some Cover Snark! From Peggy. Thanks, Peggy! Sarah: I keep reading the title as “Walk Away.” Yes. Walk away. Slowly. Get outta there. Tara: via GIPHY Amanda: No thank you. Carrie: Aww finally Cousin Itt gets his own story! Shana: That’s gonna give me nightmares Carrie: A Man and his Merkin: A Un-hygenic Love Story. Sneezy: Huh. Been a while since that cut of bikini bottoms were in. This … Continue reading Cover Snark: Hair Speedos

Cover Snark: For the Love of God, Clean Your Beards

Code Name: Hacker by Sawyer Bennett. A man with a long beard looks super serious. His beard his glowing green and appears to be hacking into the Matrix.

Y’all, we have yet another gross, moldy beard today. Is this a new theme? From Alex: A lovely design in most ways, but rather undone as a romance by the combination of her expression and stance. Sarah: I agree. Gorgeous color scheme and interesting pose but she looks she’s…bored? Annoyed? Both? Tara: “Excuse me, can someone please get this man off my neck?” Claudia: MAN: I’m sorry I left the toilet seat up. Sneezy: “Are … Continue reading Cover Snark: For the Love of God, Clean Your Beards

Cover Snark: Space Western Beauty Pageant

Catherine Finds Love by Karla Gracey. A woman in an off the shoulder blue rhinestone dress stands in front of a mountain cabin

Happy Cover Snark day! Amanda: Is the gem hidden in his armpit? Sarah: or in his bangs? Elyse: It’s the sweet bracelet he made a sleep away camp. Amanda: Or maybe the necklace he’s clearly hiding. He’s not very good at this game. Sarah: Or wait, maybe it’s in his belly button? From Karen: It’s not the cover on its own so much as its complete mismatch with the book. The book title includes the … Continue reading Cover Snark: Space Western Beauty Pageant

Cover Snark: A New Mannequin Movie

Knock Out by Willow James. A shirtless man covered in tattoos is looking down at his crotch where there's an unrealistic looking head of a blonde woman hanging out down there.

Hey! Did you need some Cover Snark today? From Melodie: I’m always attracted to a book where the hero’s face is an appeal for help (not!). I’m guessing that he’s been ambushed by a drunken ex and he’s begging one of his friends to help peel her off and stuff her in an Uber. Tara: I see that as more of a “What? Can’t you see I’m busy?” face. Sarah: Is it me or does … Continue reading Cover Snark: A New Mannequin Movie

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