Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: Pun Warning

We’re making some slight scheduling changes! We’ve already bumped Books on Sale to every day now, but we’ll be running Cover Snark one extra week a month. That’s three Snarks, instead of two! Times are tough, y’all, and we’ll do what we can to make the burden a little lighter. Amanda: Hero and heroine have a one night stand, heroine gets pregnant, hero delivers his oWN BABY Sarah: HER GIFT OMG Adam, Sarah’s husband: …. … Continue reading Cover Snark: Pun Warning

Cover Snark: Mer-Bikers & Hot Dogs

May we offer you some Cover Snark in this trying time? Amanda: Wow those are some proportions. CarrieS: I looked at this without my glasses and thought, “You know, we don’t see many Mercyclists these days.” I would read The Mer-Bikers of Texas. Catherine: I was more thinking bike-taur… so kind of the same. Sneezy: I like both your versions more. Charlotte B: I’m sorry I can’t get past how dirty his hair looks. Like … Continue reading Cover Snark: Mer-Bikers & Hot Dogs

Cover Snark: Drink Until It Makes Sense

Was there a Snark last week? Who knows! Time is a construct! Tara: I…cannot. Elyse: Looking at this is like having a fever dream. Shana No. No. No. This is bizarre, even by the (low) cover standards of Bella Books. Amanda: Ghost Ship meets The Shining, right? Sarah: They can keep their secrets. Thanks. CarrieS: Why is the bartender wearing a wig cap? Why is everything floating? Is it a ghost bar? Is it a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Drink Until It Makes Sense

Cover Snark: Nip City

Listen, you’re a smart crowd. You can all figure out the prominent theme of this Cover Snark. From Emily: Goodreads suggested this title to me and my first thought was “SBTB would love this!” Sarah: I LOVE THIS. Shana: This cannot be real. What? Lara: The body part(s?) in the top right hand corner are… ? Maya: I can’t stop seeing a raw chicken or turkey in the background and Dolph Lundgren in the foreground. … Continue reading Cover Snark: Nip City

Cover Snark: Never Forget Sunscreen

Sometimes it feels so long since the last Cover Snark and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday! From Vestusta: Came across this while checking out library books the other day and I am highly amused by that tattoo placement relative to his nipple. Epic duckface? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Sarah: Even the panther looks confused. Catherine: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had some very fancy 80s eye makeup. Elyse: Oh man that tattoo … Continue reading Cover Snark: Never Forget Sunscreen

Cover Snark: Stomach Cramps But Make Them Sexy

Get ready for some Cover Snark! Susan: I know this is a fairly mild example, but I was fine with this cover until I noticed the newspaper. Also I think the dude’s leg is pasted on. Tara: The newspaper looks like a flap on his shirt. Elyse: Either she has a pocket or that guy is missing all the fingers on his hand. Amanda: At first, I thought it was tied around his waist like … Continue reading Cover Snark: Stomach Cramps But Make Them Sexy

Cover Snark: A New Kind of Cabbage Patch

Hi there! Do you need some Cover Snark? I think you need some Cover Snark! From Skye: What the heck is going on with this dress??? Sarah: I have many questions, not the least of which is whether that dress qualifies as a vegetable. Tara: Yes, much cabbage. Very healthy. Amanda: For some reason, it reminds me of a toilet paper cozy. Sarah: Leafy greens FTW Shana: My first thought was a labia. Maybe this … Continue reading Cover Snark: A New Kind of Cabbage Patch

Cover Snark: Best of 2019

Smart Bitches Best of 2019 against a sparkly blue background above a stack of open books at the bottom it says Thanks for reading with us!

NB: This week, we’re taking a look back at some of our favorite and our most popular pieces of writing this year. We’ve got a week of best-of posts to share, with reviews, cover snark, sales, and more. We hope you enjoy revisiting our archives, and most of all, we wish you and yours a wonderful holiday and a happy new year – with all the very best of reading. … These are the top … Continue reading Cover Snark: Best of 2019

Cover Snark: A Back Skin Rorschach Test

It’s a Monday and Mondays are for Cover Snark! Elyse: Just going to leave this here. Amanda: Are they at a middle school dance? Elyse: RIGHT Ellen: They are clearly trying to leave room for Jesus. So its a church dance Sneezy: Looks like my high school dance class Hello phys ed, what are you doing here? Tara: You need to leave space for Jesus in between… Amanda: I also can’t tell if it’s contemporary … Continue reading Cover Snark: A Back Skin Rorschach Test

Cover Snark: Show Us the Cyborg Parts

A man whose pecs are about to explode is holding a baby. There are no obvious cyborg parts.

If you needed some Cover Snark today, we have your back! Sneezy: Where did his hands go? Did his pecs eat them? And has anyone held a baby like that? It doesn’t look comfortable for either party????? Amanda: no thank you on all fronts Tara: Someone got paid to Photoshop a baby on a bodybuilding flex? Also, are cyborgs one of the last frontiers of secret baby books? Sneezy: Oh GOD, don’t say that out … Continue reading Cover Snark: Show Us the Cyborg Parts

Cover Snark: Get Your Antihistamines

As someone who has tremendously bad allergies, this Cover Snark features my nightmare. Enjoy! From Tammy: Have you already used this one for Cover Snark? Because I’m thinking this guy really needs to see a doctor. That chest hair is NOT normal. Sarah: He’s right to be very concerned. I’ve had nightmares like that. Shudder Amanda: Thanks, I hate it. Sarah: How much cortisone you think he’s going to need? Amanda: All of it. Sarah: … Continue reading Cover Snark: Get Your Antihistamines

Cover Snark: We’ve Caught the Man Flu

A woman is wearing a gauzy dress only held on by her nipples. She's in a forest by the skin is clearly on fire.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! This is where we stumble across some very striking book covers and proceed to snark on them. Amanda: I thought it said “sun.” I could go for a flight into the sun sometimes. Not gonna lie. Also…is her dress just hanging on by her nipples? Elyse: I don’t know what’s more upsetting, the fact that her dress is glued to her nipples, that we clearly see her labia or that it dissolves … Continue reading Cover Snark: We’ve Caught the Man Flu

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