Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: This gives me Barbie animated movie vibes. Sarah: His head is so big, and his neck is so long, and I’m also confused by the size of her head and the length of her arms. This is giving me the uncanny valley vibes of that one Julie Anne Long Cover – not the smirking git one, the giant head lady one. This one: Sarah: “Head too big, arms too … Continue reading Cover Snark: Lord Gumbert Rubberthwaite →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: Pam G has sent us two! PamG: Oh baby, looks like a mystery skin condition in an Elvis wig to me. All I can see is grandma’s animal print spandex. Also, those eyes! We used to get that a lot when photographing the doggos. And, and WHY are their nether regions fading into an alien cityscape. Elyse: Sir, you’re gonna need an ointment for that. Sarah: So the guy … Continue reading Cover Snark: Brooch Toots →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: Is this a PSA? Tara: Or a how-to guide? Do you need hats and/or scarves to transport the crabs after you catch them? Sarah: Gloves, too. Tara: Oh yeah, the tiny ones can go in the fingers. Claudia: Hmm my mind went to pubic crabs, I’m so sorry… Sarah: Oh, me, too. I figured that was why their hair was covered. From Jen: I see one dragon. Is the … Continue reading Cover Snark: Crabs, Gynos, & Dragons – Oh My →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Kiki: Hey friends, have we considered moving to shelter and NOT standing in the middle of the road while a tornado heads towards us? Elyse: Pretty fucking relaxed about that tornado. Sarah: It’s the tornado of love don’t you get it. It’s going to bring them even closer together. By smashing them with debris. Tara: They are letting fate decide! Sneezy: I need them to not with this “first characters … Continue reading Cover Snark: Let Fate Decide! →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Susan. Sarah: The Cut and Paste is not optimal here. Kiki: I’m sorry, how did we get to 5? One night stand, I assume she gets pregnant with twins…where is the fifth member?? Lara: Crucifix dude on her shoulder whispering naughty suggestions could be number 5? A party to the decision-making. Sarah: Wait. How do her arms work? She’s got two toddlers and an artist’s palette in one arm…how? … Continue reading Cover Snark: Baby Load? →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Elizabeth S: Why does the nose have a thorn ring and eyeball? Sarah: I didn’t think that was thorns at first. Amanda: Got your nose! Sarah: Haaahaha Claudia: Not egregiously bad but I did read it as Pokémon Point: Sarah: Nice dick ice cream on that truck there. Not suggestive or anything. Excellent choice of a pink ice cream on the top, perfect angle, no notes. What happens at … Continue reading Cover Snark: Got Your Nose! →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Alea: On the one hand, the colors are lovely. On the other, wtf? Sarah: Is this My Little Pony fanfic? Also, why do shifters not have universal child care and must be finding daycare for their offspring? Amanda: Dr Nips, Unicorn Woman He just needs a big hat. Sneezy: That’s a qilin, it’s not even a unicorn. From Mabry: What’s with his ribs? What’s with his neck? Does he … Continue reading Cover Snark: Script Font Strikes Again →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: The whole set of new covers is killing me. There are forwards by Tessa Bailey, Ali Hazelwood and Alexis Hall and others. Elyse: I don’t remember a court jester in those books Maya: In every iteration, the checkerboard pattern shirt makes no sense to me Elyse: Also are people going to pick up those books expecting the characters not to be white? Sarah: I didn’t know Emma was a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Does Jane Austen Know About This? →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Melodie: I can appreciate not all cover models being waxed, but I’m not sure this is the alternative. What is going on? Flocking gun accident? His girlfriend practicing her eyelash extension technique on his chest? The grown result of all those half werewolf/half human babies that the urban fantasy genre finds in their epilogues? Sarah: I think I could sand down splinters with his pecs. Amanda: I’m giggling at … Continue reading Cover Snark: Covered in Eyelashes →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Does she have to pee? Claudia: Yes! Also, his left pant leg is missing? Sarah: Why is the perspective weird? Their legs look so short and their heads are so large? Okay taking another look, I think the angle of her hip looks too low. So it looks like her legs are short and her midsection is bizarro long, and her head is sized correctly, just looks out of … Continue reading Cover Snark: How Do Legs Work? (Diagrams Included) →