Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: Please, Don’t Lick That

We’ve got some Cover Snark for ya! From Heather: Why is he staring at his crotch while the planet’s heat ray is broiling his butt? Sarah: I thought that said ‘Amway.’ Amanda: He looks ashamed. Sarah: “I never should have joined Amway. I have many many regrets.” Tara: Maybe he didn’t hit his Amway targets this month… Sarah: So the meteor targets his backside? Way harsh. Elyse: He’s looking sadly at one nipple Tara: But … Continue reading Cover Snark: Please, Don’t Lick That

Cover Snark: The Bird Did It

What is time anymore? Have some Cover Snark! Sneezy: Have we talked about this? If the cherries are supposed to cutely hint at his virility, dangling them in front of the bear seems like a bad idea Catherine: The bear is clearly about to steal his cherry. In every sense of the word. Elyse: Omg the author’s name is on the cherries. Sneezy: Imagine tattooing your name on your character’s dick and balls. Imagine tattooing … Continue reading Cover Snark: The Bird Did It

Cover Snark: Lil’ Dingo

Cover Snark, ahoy! Amanda: I think we can all agree they’re both staring at his dongus. Sarah: OR AT HIS LIL’ DINGO. Sneezy: He seems mighty displeased by what he sees. Catherine: Given his arm placement, I don’t think he is just looking at his lil’ dingo. Ellen: All I can think is A WILD DINGO APPEARS!! And dingo is a euphemism. Shana: I think the nipple and veins are mesmerizing, but not in a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Lil’ Dingo

Cover Snark: Logic Puzzles

It’s Monday! Time for Cover Snark! Elyse: He’s checking to make sure his penis is still there isn’t he? Sarah: “Crap, did I lace my junk into my trousers again?!” Amanda: Oops, got your bepis. Tara: What if “Tough Guy” is the penis’s name? Sneezy: His pants seem to have some strange corset contraption. And why does he need to flex while putting on pants? From Karen: I’ve been seeing this for the last couple … Continue reading Cover Snark: Logic Puzzles

Cover Snark: Alien Baby Names

Gooooood morning! How is everyone doing? I know there is never a time when you don’t want some Cover Snark, but I also think we all need it now more than ever. The first cover is one I saw in the wild! Amanda: Some choices were made Aarya: It’s like a Rorschach test. When you look at the image, do you see a pen with ink drops leaving the tip? Or do you see… you know. Maya: … Continue reading Cover Snark: Alien Baby Names

Cover Snark: Nips Out for Jesus

I feel like I should apologize for Cover Snark being so nip-heavy, but truly, the Snark giveth. Sarah: It’s like the dude from twilight and Richard Moll had a baby, and it’s the dude, not the infant. Lara: If there were ever a case for “copy and paste is a mistake”, this cover would be it. Maya: Is there a pair of feet sprouting from the bassinet???? Amanda: The bassinet is giving me Baby Yoda … Continue reading Cover Snark: Nips Out for Jesus

Cover Snark: Pun Warning

We’re making some slight scheduling changes! We’ve already bumped Books on Sale to every day now, but we’ll be running Cover Snark one extra week a month. That’s three Snarks, instead of two! Times are tough, y’all, and we’ll do what we can to make the burden a little lighter. Amanda: Hero and heroine have a one night stand, heroine gets pregnant, hero delivers his oWN BABY Sarah: HER GIFT OMG Adam, Sarah’s husband: …. … Continue reading Cover Snark: Pun Warning

Cover Snark: Mer-Bikers & Hot Dogs

May we offer you some Cover Snark in this trying time? Amanda: Wow those are some proportions. CarrieS: I looked at this without my glasses and thought, “You know, we don’t see many Mercyclists these days.” I would read The Mer-Bikers of Texas. Catherine: I was more thinking bike-taur… so kind of the same. Sneezy: I like both your versions more. Charlotte B: I’m sorry I can’t get past how dirty his hair looks. Like … Continue reading Cover Snark: Mer-Bikers & Hot Dogs

Cover Snark: Drink Until It Makes Sense

Was there a Snark last week? Who knows! Time is a construct! Tara: I…cannot. Elyse: Looking at this is like having a fever dream. Shana No. No. No. This is bizarre, even by the (low) cover standards of Bella Books. Amanda: Ghost Ship meets The Shining, right? Sarah: They can keep their secrets. Thanks. CarrieS: Why is the bartender wearing a wig cap? Why is everything floating? Is it a ghost bar? Is it a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Drink Until It Makes Sense

Cover Snark: Nip City

Listen, you’re a smart crowd. You can all figure out the prominent theme of this Cover Snark. From Emily: Goodreads suggested this title to me and my first thought was “SBTB would love this!” Sarah: I LOVE THIS. Shana: This cannot be real. What? Lara: The body part(s?) in the top right hand corner are… ? Maya: I can’t stop seeing a raw chicken or turkey in the background and Dolph Lundgren in the foreground. … Continue reading Cover Snark: Nip City

Cover Snark: Never Forget Sunscreen

Sometimes it feels so long since the last Cover Snark and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday! From Vestusta: Came across this while checking out library books the other day and I am highly amused by that tattoo placement relative to his nipple. Epic duckface? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Sarah: Even the panther looks confused. Catherine: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had some very fancy 80s eye makeup. Elyse: Oh man that tattoo … Continue reading Cover Snark: Never Forget Sunscreen

Cover Snark: Stomach Cramps But Make Them Sexy

Get ready for some Cover Snark! Susan: I know this is a fairly mild example, but I was fine with this cover until I noticed the newspaper. Also I think the dude’s leg is pasted on. Tara: The newspaper looks like a flap on his shirt. Elyse: Either she has a pocket or that guy is missing all the fingers on his hand. Amanda: At first, I thought it was tied around his waist like … Continue reading Cover Snark: Stomach Cramps But Make Them Sexy

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