Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: The Crotch Check Pose

Orion by Tasha Black. A very oily, shirtless man with long, neon blue hair is gazing down at his crotch.

It’s a Monday! Can we interest you in some Cover Snark? From Amy: Is this cover snark worthy? or is it just another alien dude checking himself out? Sarah: Both? Both. Yes, both. Amanda: There are so many. Sarah: What are they looking for? Are they surprised? Is this a conversation? Amanda: Wait a sec, this wasn’t here a minute ago. Elyse: So. Shiny. Sarah: Did it just bring me a beer? Nice! Carrie: Every … Continue reading Cover Snark: The Crotch Check Pose

Cover Snark: Everyone Has Headaches

Innovation's Muse by Allyson Lindt. A shirtless and tattooed man is glowing green. We just see his muscular back. His hands are at the base of his neck, pulling upward, like he's trying to remove his own head.

Welcome back to Cover Snark, friends! From Janet: Is that a TOILET behind her? And has she just flushed her head down it (wet hair)? Sarah: Oh, no. That’s unfortunate. And now every time I see one of these cover models with her skirts hiked up, I’m going to think, oh, did she just use the toilet, too? Let the poor person dress in peace. Claudia: Hm, that does bring to mind the details of … Continue reading Cover Snark: Everyone Has Headaches

Cover Snark: Bonus Edition

Featured image for Cover Snark: Bonus Edition

We have a super special edition of Cover Snark! On this week’s podcast, we did a live snarking of a couple covers. We also wanted to extend to option to snark to the rest of the reviewers.                       Elyse: I’m getting a Flowers in the Attic vibe from the first one Tara: Where are that zookeeper’s clothes? Shana: That dude has a hedgehog on his … Continue reading Cover Snark: Bonus Edition

Cover Snark: Bitchery Submissions

Forbidden Destiny by Teresa Gabelman. Another shirtless and headless dude. This time, he is wearing sweatpants and has a cobra tattoo on his pec. There is a wolf behind him looking absolutely horrified.

Good Monday morning (or wherever it is in your part of the world)! It’s time for some Cover Snark. From Pam G: So. My question is: Why does this man have a porthole in his chest, or has Mr Vampy been sunbathing with a magnifying glass between the moobs? Also, what are those things parked behind the title on the right? Poker chips? Glasses of eggnog? I really do not get Tara: So I expanded … Continue reading Cover Snark: Bitchery Submissions

Cover Snark: Mostly Dragons

The Dragon's Choice by Roxie Ray. A man with large dragon wings appears to be trapped halfway into a button down shirt.

Hey y’all! Ready for some Cover Snark? Amanda: …how did he get even half of that shirt on Sarah: Is the dragon’s choice dry clean only? Amanda: maybe he’s stuck and realizes he’s made a terrible mistake Elyse: I’m more concerned about those spikes on his wings. He’s gonna fuck up the paint in every hallway he walks through Knocking pictures of nana and grandpa off the wall…that live, laugh, love sign just crashing to … Continue reading Cover Snark: Mostly Dragons

Cover Snark: What Secrets Are Hiding in These Pecs?

The Player by Clare Contreras. A heavily tattooed, shirtless man is gazing at the sky. His pecs are massive and his waist is tiny. His pants are definitely going to fall off his hips.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Let’s settle in, shall we? From Jen: The guy on the left – his side/stomach. I just don’t understand all the ripples. Also the bear just looks thrown in there at the last minute. Sarah: I am very concerned for his hydration levels. Amanda: I hope the bear gets paid well for the use of its image. We see it a lot. Sarah: Salmon Snacks for Life. Carrie: The bear … Continue reading Cover Snark: What Secrets Are Hiding in These Pecs?

Cover Snark: The Gray Sweatpants Effect

Seduced by a Prince by Tanya Anne Crosby. A decent historical romance cover, where a woman in a blue silky dress is embraced by a fully clothed man. However, his tight, gray breeches are leaving nothing to the imagination.

Hey hey! Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Mischa: I love you AND I have possible cover snark submission. Sarah: Aw, c’mon. Move the tall frothy drink an inch to the right. You know you wanted to. Elyse: Loving the suit jacket no shirt look. Carrie: No shirt no shoes no service, dude. Amanda: The jacket also looks velour, which is a STATEMENT. From Carole! Sarah: Was this hero inspired by this famous picture of … Continue reading Cover Snark: The Gray Sweatpants Effect

Cover Awe: More Details

This Rebel Heart by Katherine Locke. A blonde woman with short hair looks out amidst ashes. Flames come up from the bottom where we can see the shadows of a cityscape.

Come look at some awe-inspiring covers with us! Cover art by Aykut Aydoğdu Carrie: Holy shit Amanda: There are so many tiny details like the freckles Tara: Yeah, that is gorgeous. I even like the shifting colours in the title. Sarah: That is a wow cover. I said, out loud, “Wow.” Cover art by Jeff Manning Amanda: I feel like this one is straight out of a Black Mirror episode and I am very much … Continue reading Cover Awe: More Details

Cover Snark: A Plan B for Pirates

Alien Abduction for Pirates by Skye MacKinnon. A man with a bright red skin tone stands before a swirling blue hole. He has weird space bun meets ram's horns thing going on, plus a brown leather eyepatch. A metal steampunk parrot is on his shoulder and the man also has a gray beard.

Hey all! It’s time for some Cover Snark! From Sarah: Neither road rash nor fatal head injuries are sexy. Sarah: They need helmets and I need to know how big the bike is if the bear can ride, too. Tara: I think this one might be so bonkers that I actually love it. Sarah: Where does one get a bear-sized helmet? Amanda: Okay but which one is actually the daddy biker bear? From Carole: Is … Continue reading Cover Snark: A Plan B for Pirates

Cover Snark: A Real Smorgasbord

Dragon Guard Fighter by Alicia Montgomery. A shirtless man wielding an axe. He is covered with tattoos. Like only his T-zone on his face is free.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! We have quite the assortment. From Texas Book Lover: I saw this cover and immediately thought of cover snark. I’ll let y’all have fun with this… Sarah: I love that this cover made them think of us. I can’t imagine why. Elyse: He’s gonna need an ointment Sneezy: Someone didn’t listen to their tattoo artist Tara: I’m impressed that he managed his whole torso in one sitting. Carrie: This is … Continue reading Cover Snark: A Real Smorgasbord

Cover Snark: There’s Something on the Wing

The Right Closet by Melissa Price. Wow what a feat of photoshop. A plane with a bright green stripe is diving into a pool of reflective water. There's an American flag tube floatie in the water and an illustrated, pageant queen waving a pride flag on the wing.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Get a beverage of choice, pull up a chair, and let’s go! Tara: The sea has many songs and I have many questions. Question number one: WTF? Claudia: No. 2, will she be able to swim at all if her head is bigger than her tail? Maya: I guess now I know what it looks like when an accent color stops being an accent color and become a violet hellscape … Continue reading Cover Snark: There’s Something on the Wing

Cover Snark: Traitorous Nipples

Billionaire's Sins by L. Steele. A priest is ripping open his shirt, but the collar is staying put. His chest is very hairy, but that stops right at his nips.

Can you believe it? It’s our first Cover Snark of 2022! From LM Elyse: No Sarah: I have. No words. None. None words. Elyse: I refuse. Maya: Can I just say that kerning hurts my feelings more than the collection of haunted dolls, I mean children. Elyse: It’s book 9, you guys. There are 8 more of these. It’s like a haunted regency mannequin bonanza Claudia: OMG I’m going to have nightmares! Sneezy: NOOOOOOOO!!!! IT … Continue reading Cover Snark: Traitorous Nipples

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