Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: Obvious Baggage

It’s Monday and what happens on Mondays? Cover Snark! Elyse: He’s gonna want to have that growth looked at. Amanda: It’s not hidden. It’s right there. I can see it. Sarah: If only all baggage was so clearly visible. Elyse: On the plus side it’s definitely going to fit in the overhead bin. Susan: All I’m getting is Yoshi from Super Mario Bros. Lara: At first I thought he had a parking meter on his … Continue reading Cover Snark: Obvious Baggage

Cover Snark: Donner/Dinner Party

A woman is wearing a weird, silver mask and it looks like the title is The Donner Party

Hey, hey, it’s Cover Snark day! DPZ: For cover snark. Every single time I look at the title, I read it as The Donner Party…which is perhaps not the association you want in an erotica. (She also looks like she can’t breathe in that mask.) Sarah: I thought it said “Donner Party,” too. Tara: So is it the Donner Party meets Eyes Wide Shut? Maya: I’m sorry, I can’t help where my head is at, … Continue reading Cover Snark: Donner/Dinner Party

Cover Snark: Space Junk

Cover Snark is here for your Monday needs! From Katie: I want to submit this for cover snark because??? Sarah: This is…on the nose. Tara: He looks like a headless Ken doll. Amanda: What’d I tell you, space is horny. Sneezy: I’ve heard having that deep ‘V’ is supposed to be some sign of hotness, but it just creeps me out. Makes me think of dolls brought to life, signs of how their legs were … Continue reading Cover Snark: Space Junk

Cover Snark: Yes, We Have Another Bear Cover

Sometimes the Cover Snark gods and goddesses really do giveth. From lils: “Not sure if this model encountered a real bear or just a bad photo shopper.” Sarah: Is grizzly cove a new euphemism I didn’t know about? Elyse: He’s melting into the bear. They are merging on a cellular level. Charlotte: His nipples are staring disapprovingly at the bear. Sarah: Those are VERY disapproving nips, you’re right. Sneezy: How is that creepier than when … Continue reading Cover Snark: Yes, We Have Another Bear Cover

Cover Snark: Please, Don’t Lick That

We’ve got some Cover Snark for ya! From Heather: Why is he staring at his crotch while the planet’s heat ray is broiling his butt? Sarah: I thought that said ‘Amway.’ Amanda: He looks ashamed. Sarah: “I never should have joined Amway. I have many many regrets.” Tara: Maybe he didn’t hit his Amway targets this month… Sarah: So the meteor targets his backside? Way harsh. Elyse: He’s looking sadly at one nipple Tara: But … Continue reading Cover Snark: Please, Don’t Lick That

Cover Snark: The Bird Did It

What is time anymore? Have some Cover Snark! Sneezy: Have we talked about this? If the cherries are supposed to cutely hint at his virility, dangling them in front of the bear seems like a bad idea Catherine: The bear is clearly about to steal his cherry. In every sense of the word. Elyse: Omg the author’s name is on the cherries. Sneezy: Imagine tattooing your name on your character’s dick and balls. Imagine tattooing … Continue reading Cover Snark: The Bird Did It

Cover Snark: Lil’ Dingo

Cover Snark, ahoy! Amanda: I think we can all agree they’re both staring at his dongus. Sarah: OR AT HIS LIL’ DINGO. Sneezy: He seems mighty displeased by what he sees. Catherine: Given his arm placement, I don’t think he is just looking at his lil’ dingo. Ellen: All I can think is A WILD DINGO APPEARS!! And dingo is a euphemism. Shana: I think the nipple and veins are mesmerizing, but not in a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Lil’ Dingo

Cover Snark: Logic Puzzles

It’s Monday! Time for Cover Snark! Elyse: He’s checking to make sure his penis is still there isn’t he? Sarah: “Crap, did I lace my junk into my trousers again?!” Amanda: Oops, got your bepis. Tara: What if “Tough Guy” is the penis’s name? Sneezy: His pants seem to have some strange corset contraption. And why does he need to flex while putting on pants? From Karen: I’ve been seeing this for the last couple … Continue reading Cover Snark: Logic Puzzles

Cover Snark: Alien Baby Names

Gooooood morning! How is everyone doing? I know there is never a time when you don’t want some Cover Snark, but I also think we all need it now more than ever. The first cover is one I saw in the wild! Amanda: Some choices were made Aarya: It’s like a Rorschach test. When you look at the image, do you see a pen with ink drops leaving the tip? Or do you see… you know. Maya: … Continue reading Cover Snark: Alien Baby Names

Cover Snark: Nips Out for Jesus

I feel like I should apologize for Cover Snark being so nip-heavy, but truly, the Snark giveth. Sarah: It’s like the dude from twilight and Richard Moll had a baby, and it’s the dude, not the infant. Lara: If there were ever a case for “copy and paste is a mistake”, this cover would be it. Maya: Is there a pair of feet sprouting from the bassinet???? Amanda: The bassinet is giving me Baby Yoda … Continue reading Cover Snark: Nips Out for Jesus

Cover Snark: Pun Warning

We’re making some slight scheduling changes! We’ve already bumped Books on Sale to every day now, but we’ll be running Cover Snark one extra week a month. That’s three Snarks, instead of two! Times are tough, y’all, and we’ll do what we can to make the burden a little lighter. Amanda: Hero and heroine have a one night stand, heroine gets pregnant, hero delivers his oWN BABY Sarah: HER GIFT OMG Adam, Sarah’s husband: …. … Continue reading Cover Snark: Pun Warning

Cover Snark: Mer-Bikers & Hot Dogs

May we offer you some Cover Snark in this trying time? Amanda: Wow those are some proportions. CarrieS: I looked at this without my glasses and thought, “You know, we don’t see many Mercyclists these days.” I would read The Mer-Bikers of Texas. Catherine: I was more thinking bike-taur… so kind of the same. Sneezy: I like both your versions more. Charlotte B: I’m sorry I can’t get past how dirty his hair looks. Like … Continue reading Cover Snark: Mer-Bikers & Hot Dogs

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