Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Sara: WTF llamas?? I couldn’t help but share this cover I stumbled across. I stopped, my jaw dropped with a stuttered “What?!?” All the other covers in this series have a dog on them…and then…Llama!!! And a very serious, lip-pursing llama.
Sarah: That llama has STORIES to TELL and TEA to SPILL.
Carrie: Please tell me the llama is the narrator.
Sarah: If the series is Montana Secrets…how many secrets does the llama know?
From Maeve: Spaceship or giant spider with laser eyes? Helmet or alien dentures? And why is he gazing down at her obvious head injury with his arms crossed?
Sarah: What…what is that floaty thing? And shouldn’t there be a limit on the cutting and the pasting?
Amanda: That is 100% the helmet from the Halo games.
Lara: That spaceship (?) is giving me robot snail vibes.
From MegCat: I just can’t stop looking at the pose and trying to figure out how both of them are leaning… and why. Is he trying to get or on or off the bed (at least I think it’s a bed). And what’s with her expression? Is she exhaling during a breathwork session?
Sarah: This is a very confusing pose. Is she falling down or is he helping her up? What’s the gravity like where they are?
Elyse: It’s like when I’m breathing through a bad menstrual cramp and Rich is squeezing my hand.
Sarah: Wearing white, too – very brave!
Kiki: This man is very clearly wearing jeans and a modern wrist watch, folks
Sarah: Oh my gosh, you’re right. Time travel!
Kiki: Maybe she fainted because a half naked man time traveled into her boudoir
Sarah: HATE when that happens.
Amanda: I assumed this was a Lamaze class position.
Sneezy: Looking at this made me suffer from several phantom rashes, now YOU get to have them too!
Sharing is caring
(Did we do this one already? We have so many flexy flex torsos with bad skin and staring nipples I can’t keep them straight in my head)
((At least no poor bears or wolves are stuck with them this time. Ringworm is so contagious))
Sarah: Why am I feeling so thirsty all of a sudden? Weird.
The more I look at Lord Sin the more confused I become. What’s the bulge under his arm? Rogue ab? Extra elbow? And which leg am I seeing? No wonder she’s swooning.
So…the last one is about two guys who bond while trying to find an expensive wristwatch that was lost during a swim?
Is that a cellphone in Lord Sin’s pocket? And why is his left arm a different shade from the rest of his body?z
@Sneezy: Let me tell you about ringworm. We recently adopted a pair of feral kittens and they came with ringworm along with all the other usual issues like fleas. Three weeks of anti-fungal wipes and meds along with baths, while trying to keep it from spreading to the other cats and to us. Felt like we were back in the middle of COVID with all the hand sanitizer we went through. We’re finally past it, and their fur is starting to grow back although still patchy. But a not-fun time was had by all during the process.
That llama is judging me. And what’s worse, I feel like I deserve it.
@Sandra, I feel your pain! My college roommate brought home a feral cat who gave us all ringworm. I had a meltdown and checked into a hotel for a few days. It felt like I would never be clean again.
This man is very clearly wearing jeans and a modern wrist watch, folks
That’s only reasonable, since his seductress is very clearly wearing modern makeup, with modern fingernails … and only one layer of clothing. Historically it should be at least five: chemise, corset, corset cover, petticoat, and finally the visible dress. You will not get me to believe that that fitted white number is meant to be a nightgown.
Is Space Warrior from the DIY self-publishing bin at Amazon? I’m not seeing a whole lot of production budget.
The Final Truth is that someone is going to be spat on. A llama spat on me when I was a teen at a petting zoo, and it was NOT FUN. Better than when I was attacked by a monkey at a cheap roadside zoo when I was 3, but still not fun.
(Dad thought it would be ‘funny’ for me to tease the monkey with a piece of bubble gum close to the fence at this zoo. Monkey grabbed my coat and yanked me against the wires. Thanks, Dad! I avoid all monkey exhibits to this day!)
Have to agree with Amanda on the birthing breathing – but she also looks like Jennifer Lawrence.
And yay! Was delighted to see my Llama cover this morning. Made my Monday!!!
That is one judgemental llama.
And Lord Sin looks more like he’s in a wrestling pose and is about to beat down on that poor girl.
Last summer I went on a llama walk, where you go to a llama sanctuary and get assigned a llama and go for a walk on the property. It was a lot of fun. You learn about llamas and they get some exercise. But llamas, even though they’re herd animals, like to do their own thing, and my llama only wanted to eat foliage along the side of the path. Every time I encouraged her to progress forward I got that exact same look. So I’m assuming someone is trying to move that llama along but the final truth of the title is that it is going nowhere until all the weeds are eaten.
Lord Sin’s seduction is not going well. “Arm wrestling is not working, maybe I’ll try swooning at him?”
Llama looks like it’s wearing a turtleneck.
Space Warrior is judging the lower half of the cover while ignoring what’s over his shoulder.
Lord Sin appears to be straddling a low wall while she may be on a bench or settee, regardless, it’s an uncomfortable angle for her.
Hope the Alphas can save their Omega.
I thought that floaty thing on Space Warrior was a hearing aid! Lol
FINAL TRUTH: The llama seems to have tusks. Is it part orc? Is it from a transitionary period when Saruman switched from growing orcs to raising llamas?
SPACE WARRIOR: I think he’s worrying about the condition of his shoulder. The flying light-bubble-streak-things behind him suggest sperm. I stared for a while at the open satchel in the lower half, trying to figure out what was in it, before realizing it was a shiny visor and the “satchel” was a helmet — a helmet which apparently didn’t help.
THE SEDUCTION OF LORD SIN: She drank too much at the party, pulled off his shirt, and passed out. He is grinding on the door jamb while trying to wake her to leave. Whether the seduction can be saved remains to be seen.
SAVING THEIR OMEGA[-3 fatty acids in a jar].
@Louise had me checking out Lord Sin’s swooning lady, and yes to that makeup as those eyebrows are impeccable!
Also does it age me that I saw those nails and immediately thought of Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Because well over twenty-five years on, those are total Dru nails.
That is absolutely 100% Master Chief’s helmet from Halo. It’s just disembodied, like the bounty hunter’s helmet in that fight scene from Attack of the Clones.