Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Elyse: Is that Taylor Swift?
Sarah: Whoa. Maybe?
Elyse: “You got that gray-green scaly thing that I like…”
Amanda: I appreciate the quality of this cover for such a silly book, but I don’t envy a giant reptile in the snow.
From PamG: So. What about this guy’s musculature? I mean his head is literally smaller than his upper left arm (which appears to be whispering in his ear.) The right arm is simply unidentifiable. The blurb sounds like the hero is an actual human, so what are we even looking at here? Let’s just call this “Cryptid Anatomy Fail.“
Sarah: I am seeing shapes in the deltoid region and it is alarming me.
Amanda: A real Rorschach test going on here.
From Susan West of Mars: What the everliving FUCK is up with this dude’s clothing?
Sarah: is that Derek Hough?
And why does it say “BAD AT BEING GOOP.”
Susan: I thought he was wearing a really high-cut thong but no, that’s just some REALLY bright highlights
Elyse: I’m getting a bleached Sebastian Stan
Amanda: Add this to the collection of cover models getting stuck while trying to put on a shirt.
Sarah: Bad at Using the Dryer.
From Gloriamarie: Such as what is wrong with this guy’s back? Is the ice swallowing him whole?
Sarah: I have some concerns about his immune system, for sure.
Shana: Is he a gremlin? All those bumps on his back looks like the ice is making him pop off more little green gremlins
Carrie: Pssh that’s just frostbite.
Sarah: As in an insect named Frost bit him, and he’s allergic?
Carrie: Hmmm let me consult my medical degree from Grey’s Anatomy University: yes that could be it
Seduced by Flames: Somebody needs to take an anatomy drawing class
Bad at Being Goop: Wearing his teenage sister’s clothes
So seductive flames are into golden rain?
The eyes on Mr. Goop suggest that he doesn’t know how to do clothes because the goop is in his skull. I’d believe this as the cover for a zombie novel.
Uhm, that is not an adult Utahraptor. I looked it up. Are we now venturing on bestiality/pedophilia crossovers? We need a herpetologist to weigh in on the relationship between size and sexual maturity in reptiles.
Bad at being Goop doesn’t sound like a bad idea, really.
I have to disagree with Cover snark. That is the best cover one could possibly hope for for a Christmas themed Utahraptor romance novel. Honestly that cover is nothing but win.
“High school dino heartthrob” is an unexpected phrase alright.
Not just the visuals. Ms Lola Faust (heh) is also the author of Wet Hot Allosaurus Summer. I’m reminded of Mr. Tingle, with shorter titles.
Now I’m seeing Brad Pitt on the Goop cover, and it’s obvious he’s too stoned too dress himself.
Do we need to arrange a meet cute between Mr Flames and Mr Ice? They have so much in common. They do say opposites attract.
@Sandra: They could borrow some title mojo from Game of Thrones by calling it “A Love Song of Ice and Fire”.
My mother-in-law uses “goop” as a derogatory term. It’s the same way Bugs Bunny uses “maroon” (“What a maroon.”) So that cover art and title track.
Re: Goop boy
Seems like I’m gazing into a lot of dead A-eyes on a lot of covers lately. Who knew cutting edge tech trends would make snarking so woefully easy. Even the face of my 401-K company has those weird pale blue marble eye-balls.
I started to compose a comment about all the ways that was a bad Utahraptor, but it was spiralling into an essay. In summary Where Are The Feathers.
@Louise it’s not my speciality, but my understanding is that non-avian dinosaurs could reproduce at subadult size, which I don’t know is a good or bad thing for the book.
I am not joking: it took me a minute or two when looking at the “Seduced by Flames” cover to figure out that the thing at the upper left was a raised arm and not some creature biting into this shoulder.