Ever since I was old enough to read on my own, I’ve been making terrible decisions regarding books and basic time management. I’m normally a fairly organized and responsible person. I file my taxes on time. My library books are never overdue. My homework was never late.
Add books to the mix, though, and suddenly I decide to do things that Future Elyse will seriously regret, hence my founding of The Bad Decisions Book Club.
Here’s a few examples of what it means to belong to this esteemed club:
I have to read four books for work in a week’s timespan, so naturally I ignore all those books and pick up something entirely different instead. Usually this book has been sitting in the dusty corners of my Kindle, a forgotten backlist title I bought on sale, but suddenly I have to read it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
Another example would be having my family come over for the holidays which necessitates cleaning and cooking and showering–but sitting down to read instead.
But most often it goes like this:
I decide to start a new book at 11:30 at night, just to read a few pages. At this point I’m in my denial phase of poor reading choices, but Future Elyse is waving at me through the time space continuum, giving me the finger, because she knows how this ends. She’s seen this before. It ends in bitter tears.
By 1:30 a.m. my neck hurts and my eyes are tired, and we’re now deeply into the negotiation phase of things. I will put the book down after this chapter, I can still totally go to work tomorrow if I skip a shower, brush my teeth in the car, wear the pants I had on yesterday and get a venti flat white from Starbucks. We can still make this happen.
Now it’s 3 a.m. and I know Future Elyse is gonna be REALLY MAD. Somewhere in my exhausted brain I’m trying to math but it doesn’t work out. There’s no point in even going to bed now, right? Three hours of sleep is somehow worse than no hours of sleep.
I start planning out how I’m going to survive the next day: I can finish the book, shower, brush my teeth at home like a normal person, and wear new pants. I will mainline espresso and Diet Coke all day, adding in Excedrin as needed.
By noon, I figure the nausea will kick in. That’s why I have Saltines in my desk. I can cancel my two afternoon meetings and if my staff ask me any questions I’ll just say “Sure,” and pray that covers it. If they stare at me I’ll follow it up with, “What do you think you should do?” so it looks like mentoring.
Now it’s 3:30 a.m. and I realize my plan is terrible and why the hell do I even do this, what is wrong with me. I go downstairs and cry into the cat for fifteen minutes which REALLY upsets the cat, quite frankly. Since I’m tired and overly emotional, I turn to my comfort activity–reading.
By 5:00 a.m. I’m contemplating calling into work with diarrhea. No one EVER questions diarrhea.
By 5:30 I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is not the responsible thing to do.
6:00 a.m.: MOTHER FUCKER.
Inevitably I go to work having finished the book and generally feeling like shit. People do a double take when I walk by and ask if I’m anemic again. I give Past Elyse the finger.
Honestly, though, I know I’ll never learn my lesson and I’ll do it again.
What about you? Are you a member of The Bad Decisions Book Club? What reading choice do you totally (not) regret?
NB: Sarah has Bad Decisions Book Club stickers – the purple circles above with our tent of reading and shame. She’ll be giving out stickers at random to folks who comment until Friday 6 May (void where prohibited, must be over 18, etc etc), so don’t be shy about sharing your Bad Decisions Book Club shame!
NBx2: By request from PamG, there are Bad Decisions Book Club t-shirts to be had! You can choose a chest/pocket logo version or a large logo version.
NBx3! By further request: STICKERS for purchase!
Omg! I love this group! I read under the covers as a child. My parents made rules about not reading at the dinner table for me. I love my kindle because I can stay up all night reading and it won’t wake DH. I can also read outside at night under the stars!
Just this week – instead of writing the two papers I had due I decided to read two Hannah Howells that I got at the book fair. Not my favorite author, nor were they library books due back soon, nor books that I had been waiting to be released so I could catch up on my series, not even related books in a series. There was no reason for me to read them NOW, but of course I did. The papers did get done, but really I could have saved some stress if I was not part of the Bad Decisions Book Club!
So this is basically my life. I have absolutely no self control when it comes to books (Anne Bishop or otherwise). You’d think that after spending most of my life being tired for this precise reason that I’d maybe try and kick the habit, but no…
I did that just last night. Started reading about 11:30pm and didn’t stop until there was no more story. I do it once or twice a month. If I’m lucky it happens on a Friday or Saturday so I can sleep in. One difference is the cat comes to me and flops on my face as I’m reading. I try to shush her so my husband doesn’t wake up and realize its 3 am and I’m still reading.
So, yep, totally a member.
Too much of my life has been lost to this delicious activity.
So much yes. Just last night I had to stay up until 2am to finish Sarina Bowen’s The Year We Fell Down. I knew I had a nightmare day at work today but I just couldn’t help it. And since I regularly bust my 8 year old with her flashlight on WAY past her bedtime thanks to our buddies Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, I am clearly training the next generation of the BDBC.
OH MY GOD!! All. The. Time. I do this all the time. This is me. I’d say this post stopped me from picking up a book I’m only 1/3 of the way through to read “just for 30 minutes”, but I’m a filthy liar.
My entire family–me, hubby, and 2 teen kids–belong to this book club, so we tend to be enablers too. But here’s what surprised me: Last November, I participated in NaNoWriMo and started writing a romance novel. I got so wrapped up in it, Hubby would check on me to make sure I went to bed so I could function at work the next day. One night, I was writing till 2am and made myself stop. Sanity, right? Ha! I couldn’t get my eyes to close because the damn characters kept talking in my head. After an hour, I gave up on sleep and got back to the computer where I wrote till Hubby got up. He asked if I’d written all night, and I told him I’d gone to bed, which was technically true. Still haven’t told him that I pulled an all-nighter, but it was so worth it, even with the pain of working the next day.
I wonder if this post has the world record for receiving the largest number of comments in the shortest time span on this website.
I do this more often than I should. I’ll say I’m just going to read a chapter, then it’s 1:30 and I have to get up in 6 hours. I work in customer service and I generally need 8 to 9 hours of sleep in order to deal with people. I think I have been a member of the club for since I was about 12 and I really should have learned this lesson by now.
I’m reading Love in the Time of Scandal by Caroline Linden and am about 50% done. I also got The Murder of Mary Russel from the library today, I’m on page 138, and Holmes just meet Mrs. Hudson for the first time. How badly do I need to see how the rest of the book goes? The only good news is I have tomorrow off!
Long time member of the club. There was this once where I just had a few more chapters to finish in Gone with the wind. Stayed up all night to finish the book and I remember sobbing into my pillows while and after finishing reading the book. My mom came to investigate the strange noises from my bedroom and she was not too pleased when she found out the reason.
Club. More like enough to fill a medium-sized country.
My people! I’m so happy to meet all you kindred spirits!
The dogs were goong to wake me up anyway., to bark at the cat coming inside. So I may as well read up till then.
I did this ALL THE TIME in college. So bad lol
I belong! Have for years. Thought I was alone with my book (now Kindle app on phone) pressed to my nose. Happy to hear I am not the only militant reader out there. Work in a library and always have books around and yet….that one pops up that I can’t seem to say NO to. Does laundry really need to be done weekly? Food purchase? Really? I’m exercising my brain…right? So no need for any extra sweaty business. Work? Isn’t reading a book really work for me? My story, sticking to it!
This is the best article I’ve ever read!!! This is the story of my life!!!! Just one more chapter… I’ll find a way tomorrow… Except for me it’s not the office, but my very unforgiving 5, 3.5, and almost 2 year olds, who I have already passed a love of books on to… But who don’t understand that mommy has a reading hangover because once again, I said up ALL night because I just had to finish that new thriller!
Oh yes – mail me out my membership card. (It’ll be the platinum level one.)
I don’t read in bed as that does disturb the DH. I stay up in the lounge and then when later asked “what time did you come to bed?”, I can honestly reply after 11. 1am is after 11pm after all. (Or perhaps lots later.)
At school I could bounce back from the all nighters. Now I have to pace myself a little more. I try to keep it to before midnight during the week and someone is paying me to be functional. I don’t always succeed but I try. But the weekend…
My son is showing signs of being a future member. I had to give him a lamp for his room as he was reading by the dim light of his night light. I find I have absolutely no grounds to criticise so I try to explain the consequences without being too hypocritical.
I think we need to lobby publishers to release new books on FRIDAY and not Tuesday. At least then part of my problem would be addressed. The it’s 2pm and my phone just dinged with my email from Amazon advising me the latest X book is on my kindle does me no good on a Tuesday.
@Susan (who regrets nothing).
I think I’m with you. I can acknowledge these are bad decisions. I don’t think I regret making them though.
Well I was up until 3am yesterday morning reading, alarm went off at 7am. I was totally exhausted all day at work and I am currently nursing a headache from lack of sleep yet here I am, at 12.30am, reading this blog. And I still haven’t finished yesterday’s book and i just KNOW it will call out to me when I go into my bedroom. Who needs sleep?
But I’m just about to get to the big reveal, how could I possibly fall asleep without knowing?
“I’m just going to read a couple chapters before bed” is an occasional bad decision that I make. But more often, mine is on the weekend and I think “I’ll just read a couple chapters before I get around and do all the things I need to get done”. Cut to two hours later and I’m still reading. I’ll even finish a book and then decide to just read a couple chapters of a new book.
By request, I’ve set up the stickers for sale as well, if you’d like to grab one! Thank you!
I’m just waiting for some poser to suggest that the logo should be put on a bookmark….
I cannot believe that I have so many like minded people out there. I was reading some of the posts to DH and he laughed and said yep been there done that! Luckily we are both members of the club and completely understand when one or the other does it.
Oh yeah, I have lived that life of shame over and over and over again. My mother was constantly finding me reading with a flashlight in the middle of the night, and now that I’m an adult, it’s my cat that finds me struggling to read just one more chapter even when I know I need some sleep or I’m going to be a wreck for the rest of the day.
Before high school, I got myself out of bed at least two hours before it was required so that I could read in the morning before dragging myself off to school. In high school, I figured out how to dry my hair with the hair dryer without looking at it so that I could read at the same time.
As an adult, I’ve definitely had mornings that I regret from the reading, though nowhere as bad as Elyse.
Sign me up! I can’t seem to put Mary Balough books down until I’ve finished them, even though I can sometimes (occasionally) put down other authors. I was up until 3:00 am reading Sunshine my Mckinley as well, put it down, realized I wasn’t really into it and never finished it.
Show of hands, who here has brought the book to school/work with them in the morning because YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED IT YET and read it under the table? I think that should be our first merit badge. The second should be for calling in sick with Book Flu.
I have been a member of this club for years. This kind of thinking is the reason I know that being hit in the face by a Kindle after finally falling asleep while reading really hurts. And is something I have done more than once. It is a good thing ereaders are getting lighter. Also – if the reading means less than two hours of sleep I need to just stay awake. There is not enough caffeine in the world. Also – I have had the occasional personal day that fell on a Wednesday. Tuesday release days are just mean – logically it should be a Friday we have reading and sleeping time.
OMG! How did you know I do this too!!!?? I really try not to do this. (I love the concept of future me giving current me the finger.) I think I did this recently with a e-book that had a return deadline – nonfiction none the less!(See I’ve already blocked the episode from my brain) And then proceeded to bore my fellow co-workers with facts from the book – because that is all I could get out of my brain…thanks for the awesome write up. Now, I know I’m not alone.
This is so me. Are you in my head? It’s ok, just until this scene is done, no, wait, until I know what happens to X. I have not yet called in sick, though it’s been tempting and I have had some less than stellar days. Sadly, I don’t seem to learn from past experience. Sign of a great book, right? I want that sticker for my iPad.
Me, this morning:
Tired from finishing a book late last night, but that’s ok. And then I think oh I’ll just start a new book, because hey – I’ve got at least an hour before I reaaaaally need to get up and get ready for work. Ok, somehow it’s an hour and a half later. I get up and keep my Kindle close. I can read while I do my makeup and hair! Shit, now I’m supposed to be AT work, and I haven’t even left my house (the drive is half an hour). I’ll quickly make a shake for breakfast, while I read more. And then I finally get in the car and arrive 45 min late for work. I definitely won’t do this again. Until tomorrow.
I have been a member of this club for a very long time. I keep telling myself that I just need to see what happened then I will go to sleep. lol!
I’ve been a member for years.
There’s a TED talk that explains why –
http://waitbutwhy.com/2016/03/my-ted-talk.html
I used to be a member of the club as a kid – and my mother loved that I read, so as long as my grades didn’t suffer, she was totally my enabler – but epilepsy put a stop to that. If I don’t get a decent night’s sleep, seizure activity happens, and that’s something I wish to avoid. So all my nighttime reading material has to be stuff I can absorb in small doses and have no trouble putting down for the night. Consequently, I have a lot of anthologies, nonfiction (esp. cookbooks), and magazines stacked on my nightstand shelves. I do most of my reading novels on my commute to and from work, on my lunch break, or waiting for my shift to start, and I’ve been known to almost miss bus stops, forget what time I clocked in, and forget to eat my lunch in the throes of a book.
As a former Girl Scout, I’m pretty sure I helped set up the campsite for this club. Third grade me was grounded to my room for one week…I sauntered upstairs and yelled, “No problem, I have plenty of things to read!” Kudos to my parents for resisting homicidal urges.The grounding was extended to 2 weeks, leading to the First Rule of BDBC: Watch what you say, it will bite you in the ass. Books by flashlight, reading in fifth grade under desk(D+ in that class)and present day book related insomnia…YES to all these things!
I have been a member of this club since before I could ACTUALLY read. When I was a small girl*, my parents wanted me to go to sleep when I was put to bed. Naturally, I would pretend to sleep, wait for them to go downstairs and then merrily commence the Bad Decision Concerning Reading. Sadly, one day my father was working overtime and came home late. It was winter. He noticed the lamp in my room and I was too late to switch it off. Caught in the act. What did my parents do? Well. It defies all reason and definitely could be considered cruel and unusual punishment. They took all my books and put them in the attic where I could not reach them for a week. A WEEK. I was 3,5 at the time and I could not read, but I was still attached to my books with pictures and stories. I occasionally still think of that week. It was bad.
*This continued for many, many years. One day my mother said she’d just make sure I had no electricity for a lamp to read by. I then told her I’d invest in cancles, and that I could not be held responsible if the house went down in flames. I think that was the moment she just gave up.
Uhm. Candles. (How did I even manage that typo)
Amateurs! Not only have I gone into work on zero hours of sleep, handed my child cash to go buy her some dinner so I could keep reading, have read through same child’s soccer matches, I have gotten offical “talking to’s” for reading on my IPhone (love that kindle app) at work, hiding in the office bathroom to read! I have even read a fabulously trashy book on said phone at a Catholic women’s meeting!
Yup. I started “Divergent” (which has been on my reading list, recommended by a friend, for at least two or three years now) yesterday afternoon. I finished it at about 2 a.m. this morning. LOL I didn’t have to be at work until noon and had no class today, so I didn’t regret it too much. The above scenario does remind me of when I discovered “Queer As Folk” in the Army and bingewatched the entire series in like two weeks. There were many nights I went to bed at 2 or 2:30 in the morning and had to be up two hours later. I regretted nothing. ;P
Somebody needs to start a facebook group!