All these posts by Elyse:

Elyse Watches the Bachelor–S25 E3: Turtle Power

Elyse Watches The Bachelor with Kraken Rum and Coke

We ended last episode with The Dreaded Rose Ceremony and Sarah almost fainting. When we open up the ceremony has been delayed and Sarah is being tended to by a medic. The other women are annoyed with her because they think she faked it or worked herself up so she could get more alone time with Matt. In their defense, she does walk around talking about her vision going black which seems like a thing … Continue reading Elyse Watches the Bachelor–S25 E3: Turtle Power

Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E2: Mean Girl Act

Elyse Watches The Bachelor with Kraken Rum and Coke

It’s been a weird week and it’s time for a weird episode of The Bachelor. We open with a totally gratuitous shot of Matt in the shower. Then we see the women assembled on a drinking couch. One of them is wearing the cable-knit Chris Evans sweater from Knives Out. Chris Harrison tells them that because we have a record number of women not everyone will get a date this week. Khalyah says, “The prospect of not … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E2: Mean Girl Act

Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E1: MJ the Vibrator

Elyse Watches The Bachelor with Kraken Rum and Coke

With barely a moment to breathe between them, ABC has ended the fuckery that is The Bachelorette and begun the fuckery that is The Bachelor. After 24 seasons, ABC finally brought us a man of color for the Bachelor. Matt James, our intrepid hero, is biracial. They also moved filming from the McMansion (which is now an Air BnB rental, for real) to the Nemacolin Woodlands Resort in Pennsylvania,  presumably for COVID related reasons. We get a … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E1: MJ the Vibrator

Book Review

Pretty Little Wife by Darby Kane

Pretty Little Wife

As I sat down to draft my review of Pretty Little Wife I realized it was going to have to be somewhat brief. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a lot to say about the book (I do!), it’s that this thriller is so beautifully plotted and executed that saying too much about the book would ruin the reading experience for other people. It’s one of those frustrating situations where I just want to shove … Continue reading Pretty Little Wife by Darby Kane

Book Review

Seasonal Slow Knitting: Thoughtful Projects for a Handmade Year by Hannah Thiessen

Seasonal Slow Knitting

In case you were unaware, 2020 has sucked, and more than anything (with the possible exception of therapy), knitting has really gotten me through. I’ve knitted more this year than ever before, in part because I have more time on my hands and in part because I need the meditative comfort knitting brings me. Seasonal Slow Knitting is a book that aligns with that need for comfort through crafting perfectly. I love this book. It’s … Continue reading Seasonal Slow Knitting: Thoughtful Projects for a Handmade Year by Hannah Thiessen

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E13: End of the “Journey”

Featured image for Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E13: End of the “Journey”

Well, we’re finally at the end of Tayshia’s “journey” to find true love… Excuse me… I am willing to bet my love for the iced coffee I’m drinking is deeper and truer than the love between Tayshia and whoever she ends up with. Anyway, it’s the last episode of the season. I’m going to recap, then cleanse myself by watching Wonder Woman 1984 and rolling around in my Christmas yarn.  I’m pretty sure Rich just handed … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E13: End of the “Journey”

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette S16–E12: Shrinkage

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette with Kraken Rum and Coke with a big rose at the bottom

It is perhaps appropriate that the two-part season finale of The Bachelorette is airing on two of the darkest nights of the year (at least where I live). The Rose God is not subtle. This week is Fantasy Suites when, I shit you not, Chris Harrison hand writes a letter to each of the contestants and invites them to spend the night together. Whatever happens in the Fantasy Suite (or what my husband calls “The Bang … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette S16–E12: Shrinkage

Elyse Watches the Bachelorette–S16 E11: Smooching in the Time of COVID

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette with Kraken Rum and Coke with a big rose at the bottom

It’s time for the second Bachelorette episode of the week. Yay? We’re down to four guys: Ben, Brendan, Zac and Ivan. It’s also Hometowns. Normally that means that the Bachelorette would travel to each of the guys’ hometown and meet their families. With COVID, they’ve adapted. The families have traveled to La Quinta where they’ve presumably isolated and tested. The guys are responsible for creating dates that would remind them of being back home. Can you … Continue reading Elyse Watches the Bachelorette–S16 E11: Smooching in the Time of COVID

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E10: Let the Shitshow Commence

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette with Kraken Rum and Coke with a big rose at the bottom

Hey guys, guess what? GUESS WHAT? We have two Bachelorettes this week! Shall we dive into part one? We open with Chris Harrison returning from whatever hellscape he was visiting. Tayshia explains to him that she sent Bennett home but then that night he was hiding behind her door with an axe. (I’m only half kidding.) The first one-on-one date goes to Blake who previously made Tayshia a penis out of clay. They are met by a … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E10: Let the Shitshow Commence

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E9: Serial Killer GIFs

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette with Kraken Rum and Coke with a big rose at the bottom

It’s the time of week when we jump in and ask ourselves… WTF is going on in La Quinta? We ended last week with Bennett and Noah hashing out their drama, and Tayshia being all like… In case you need a reminder, the box contained a gift to Noah from Bennett that was curated for maximum cruelty. First was a red bandana because their first conversation included Oklahoma and cowboys, I guess. Next was a … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E9: Serial Killer GIFs

Holiday Gift Guide 2020: Elyse’s Gift Ideas for Crafters!

My turn! I’m taking over today’s edition of the Stuff We Like – Holiday Gift Guide 2020! So many crafting hobbies are supported and nurtured in local small businesses, and your favorite crafter probably has a favorite store. I’ve rounded up some of my favorite gift ideas for the knitters, crocheters, and crafters in your life.  Just click that image above or click right here, and take a look! If you need more shopping ideas, we … Continue reading Holiday Gift Guide 2020: Elyse’s Gift Ideas for Crafters!

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E8: Arts and Crafts

Elyse Watches The Bachelorette with Kraken Rum and Coke with a big rose at the bottom

This week we return to the haunted resort in La Quinta where the Rose God is spreading his evil presence. We open the episode with Tayshia saying how the process is becoming harder for her and then JoJo Fletcher shows up to talk with her about it. Do they keep all former Bachelor/Bachelorettes in underground pods somewhere and bring them out as needed? Tayshia tells her that she’s worried about hurting the guys’ feelings. JoJo … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S16 E8: Arts and Crafts

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