Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: The whole set of new covers is killing me. There are forwards by Tessa Bailey, Ali Hazelwood and Alexis Hall and others. Elyse: I don’t remember a court jester in those books Maya: In every iteration, the checkerboard pattern shirt makes no sense to me Elyse: Also are people going to pick up those books expecting the characters not to be white? Sarah: I didn’t know Emma was a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Does Jane Austen Know About This?→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Melodie: I can appreciate not all cover models being waxed, but I’m not sure this is the alternative. What is going on? Flocking gun accident? His girlfriend practicing her eyelash extension technique on his chest? The grown result of all those half werewolf/half human babies that the urban fantasy genre finds in their epilogues? Sarah: I think I could sand down splinters with his pecs. Amanda: I’m giggling at … Continue reading Cover Snark: Covered in Eyelashes→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Does she have to pee? Claudia: Yes! Also, his left pant leg is missing? Sarah: Why is the perspective weird? Their legs look so short and their heads are so large? Okay taking another look, I think the angle of her hip looks too low. So it looks like her legs are short and her midsection is bizarro long, and her head is sized correctly, just looks out of … Continue reading Cover Snark: How Do Legs Work? (Diagrams Included)→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Jen: Does his raised arm look too big in proportion or is it just me? And what is going on between his pecs? Is that an arrow intention? I just don’t understand some of those ridges. Sarah: His obliques are smiling at me. No thank you. Elyse: That is some fucked up forced perspective Sarah: MY ARMPIT LET ME SHOW YOU IT. Shana: Are we sure his arm isn’t … Continue reading Cover Snark: Armpit Show and Tell→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: What the hell. Kiki: No, thank you. I don’t want it. Sarah: Who is designing these covers. Like what the ever loving crap Are they trying to be like Indies? Single dude on the cover? They’ve got it all wrong. He needs to be bald, grimy, dehydrated, and looking at his junk. Elyse: Is that a Jonas brother? From Karen: His left forearm is really creepy. It looks to … Continue reading Cover Snark: Juicy Pickle→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! It’s a real “Christmas in July” edition. From Sharon Sarah: At thumbnail size, it looks like he is grabbing hold of an entirely different package. Elyse: Greasy Santa … Sarah: Shiny Claus Claudia: I understand that chimneys can present a challenge, but all that slickness is not appealing!! Sarah: WHEEEE! Amanda: All that soot is really going to stick to that baby oil. Also…those lights are on, which I fear … Continue reading Cover Snark: Saint Nick the Oil Slick→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Pam G: Just the ticket for a cold winter night. Sarah: HE NEEDS TO SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. That much red should not be coming out of any region of the body, let alone THAT ONE. Lara: He’s really squeezing the wiener… From MegCat: That glowing green smoke suggests that something smells really bad, which explains his irritated expression. That torso also looks a bit off at first glance … Continue reading Cover Snark: An Us Anus→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Is she poopin? Elyse: The moment you realize it wasn’t just a fart. Sarah: That’s what the rose is for. She might need a few more for poo-pourri purposes. (Also, hand to heaven, if you have to share a bathroom, especially while traveling, Poo-Pourri works REALLY well.) Elyse: I hope that’s a typo. Sarah: $10 says the title came first and the book was built around it. Elyse: Did … Continue reading Cover Snark: “Mourning Wood”→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: Look at those teeny tiny rings I imagine she laid all these things out on the bed for her husband to come home to lol Elyse: Are the rings for the babies after they’re born? Sarah: The marketing message here is very confusing. Is there an order of operations here? From Karen H: This cover isn’t awful except for the blonde. The guy looks like an actual photograph but … Continue reading Cover Snark: Shiny Sheffrou→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: I have zero idea what the title of this book means. Also his necklace looks like a giant paper clip. Sarah: Clippy was alive…until Bax. Elyse: Whoa that’s dark. Wearing the body of Clippy. Sarah: There was help with this document…until Bax. Elyse: In his defense, Word is the worst and the fact that it continues to be the standard is baffling. Sarah: Entirely. WordPerfect or GTFO. Sneezy: Is … Continue reading Cover Snark: Lice Check→
Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Syntha: This dude’s face. Sarah: He looks so…bored? How is he both creepy AND bored? Elyse: What is the situation with his hair? Is it glowing? Sarah: So many people wanted Instagram filter faces, and now the trend has moved into Photoshop Outer Glow Hair. Amanda: I’m full on guffawing at 8am. Sarah: Omg that guy’s face Amanda: I know! His bottom half is a gargoyle and I’m picturing … Continue reading Cover Snark: Gargoyle Jesus→
