I selected this cover for our latest caption contest because it generated a lot of discussion in the SBTB Slack chat. Thank you to Lara Diane for finding this gem.
I also desperately wanted to include the discussion, so you’re even getting a mini Cover Snark in here!
Tara: I’m hoping that’s a campfire pun.
Sneezy: What brand of dumbass can convince someone to take off their shirt when it’s that cold? Never mind everything else he should be wearing.
Shana: Does he have wings made of flannel! And all of his hair appears painted on. What’s the spray-on hair for bald spots called? That’s what this looks like.
Catherine: Is that his original head? I’m trying to work out how you wind up with more tan on your body than on your face, and now I’m picturing him wandering around shirtless but with a balaclava.
Lara Diane: I’m with Catherine. It can’t be his original head. The mismatch is so intense.
AJ: That guy does not know how to match his foundation.
Comment below with your caption! Caption that cover however you wish! You can come up with a new title or tagline. Does he really have flannel wings? Is he some angelic saint come to bestow a blessing for the holidays?
The best captioner will receive a $10 bookstore credit to a book retailer of their choosing.
Standard disclaimers apply: We are not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents where permitted by applicable law. Must be over 18. But seriously, keep your clothes on in cold weather and layer appropriately. Before you attempt to match your foundation, be sure to check your undertones! Comments will close Friday August 23, 2018 around noon ET, and a winner will be announced shortly thereafter.
Winner update: Congrats to Sarah Drew, with this winning caption:
Willow: “Oh, Ash, I’ve been pine-ing fir yew fir years, ever since we met at the beech . But yew only have eyes for Cherry.”
Ash: “I’ve been larching from girl to girl, but now I’ve seen spruce little Cherry, I’m sycamore girls. When I see her, my cottonwood becomes a hornbeam, and that’s Oak with me!”
Willow: “Oh, Ash, I’ve been pine-ing fir yew fir years, ever since we met at the beech . But yew only have eyes for Cherry.”
Ash: “I’ve been larching from girl to girl, but now I’ve seen spruce little Cherry, I’m sycamore girls. When I see her, my cottonwood becomes a hornbeam, and that’s Oak with me!”
SWIPE LEFT
Sarah Drew: you win the internet!
SYCAMORE GIRLS. Omg.
As the sun rose over the treetops, Drew knew he had to quickly disrobe. When it reached the top of the highest branch he would shift, whether ready or not. Naked was better for both his clothes and himself. Plaid just clashed too much for his inner skunk to handle. Why oh why hadn’t he remembered to wear stripes today?
Someone tell me how to put on this flannel! Wearing it over my head gave me a weird tan and I fell down the mountain!
I’m so hot, my bare chest will melt all that snow!
Forget spray on hair, that looks like knitted on hair.
As far as my caption: “Mom was right. If i take my shirt off in this cold, my nips WILL freeze like that.”
Paradoxical undressing: when hypothermia gets so cold it’s HOT.
The only reason anyone would call him a lumberjack was because he lumbered around and didn’t know jack.
(Frankly nobody stands a chance next to Sarah Drew’s masterpiece but I thought I’d throw my two cents in.)
And actually that hair reminds me of the old Mr Woolley game, where you used the metal filings and a magnet to “draw” hair and beards on the picture. Anybody else remember those?
“Jack, I get it, you’re hot for me, I don’t need a visual aid, now put your shirt back on before you catch pneumonia!”
cover that body up before i blind myself from all that whiteness…& also, wax much?
Willow, don’t weep for a poplar guy who’s already in a pear. Your aching heartwood feel better if you asked the Smart Birches for advice.
@SusanE – Ivy a feeling Ash’s been playing around alder time with Holly and Hazel in privet. I saw Cherry box him in the chestnut that I was spying or anything.
Whoever Photoshopped that head onto that body needs a few more lessons!
The hair & beard look like somebody cut them out of felt.
Oh, and what’s up with the bald spot in his goatee?
New title: LUMBERBAT
Baby, I’m so hot for you. You make the snow melt.