It’s time for the winter edition of Stuff You Should be Knitting. Here in Wisconsin it’s miserably cold (like -25 with the wind chill), so I’m all about warm, bulky projects. The best part? All these patterns are free! Let’s start off with the Pussy Hat–a pattern that’s gone viral among the knitting community. The Pussy Hat is a pink, cat-eared hat that many women participating in the Women’s March on Washington DC will be … Continue reading Stuff You Should Be Knitting→
In addition to his duties as chief cat wrangler and household chef, Mr Elyse works a day job as a barista. With winter imminent he asked me if I would make him a cowl or scarf to keep him warm when he worked the drive through window. As this presented an opportunity to buy new yarn, I of course said yes. (Side note: yes, this means my husband makes one badass caramel latte, ladies and gentlemen. … Continue reading Knitting Pattern: The Barista Cowl→
Fall is upon us, as is evident by the Pumpkin Spice Latte emerging from hibernation. It’s actually getting chilly here and leaves are starting to turn, which means it’s the perfect time to start on fall knitting. In this quarterly column I’ll be bringing you links to some of the coolest FREE knitting and crochet patterns I’ve found online that tie in with the season. For me, fall is all about scarves, cowls, arm-warmers, and … Continue reading Stuff You Should Be Knitting→
Awhile back I reviewed the Fiberista Club Box and I was thrilled by the beautiful yellow/orange yarn I received. It was bright and cheerful, and I wanted to use it to make something whimsical. By “whimsical” I mean something so bright that when I get lost in a blizzard, people will find me. I used two different types of brightly-colored variegated yarn to create a hat that, to me, almost had a tie-dye look to it. … Continue reading Crochet Pattern: Tie-Dye Hat→
Hey you sexy hookers! Last month, the Bitchery all gathered at the RT Book Lover’s Convention in Dallas. Mayhem ensued. As did stitchery. This is a crochet pattern, and since my native language is knitting, I’m a little bit less certain about the translation. These wristlets are quick, fucking adorable and perfect for when you had too much tequila and need to hang out in the hotel room watching The Blacklist and nursing a 7-Up. Not that … Continue reading Crochet Pattern: RT Wristlets→
Yarn is coming. It’s time for another knitting pattern inspired by the badass women of Game of Thrones. This time it’s Ygritte, the Wildling Jon Snow meets beyond the wall. After all the violence and awful that’s been on Game of Thrones of late, we definitely need something fuzzy and soothing, right? Oh, yes, all the fuzzy and soothing, for everyone. Of course, Ygritte wouldn’t actually have time to knit herself because she’s busy doing stuff … Continue reading Knitting Pattern: Ygritte Cowl/Necklace→
I’ve been binge-watching Game of Thrones with my husband, and of course when you binge-watch you get a lot of knitting done. I’ve been making cowls inspired by the badass women of Westeros and the awesome colorways of Malabrigo. This is the Yara Cowl, inspired by Yara Greyjoy (Asha Greyjoy in the books). Yara hails from the Iron Islands where salt, iron and bad-assery are the name of the game. Of course, Yara wouldn’t actually … Continue reading Knitting Pattern: The Yara Cowl→
I don’t know about you, but it’s cold here–like the kind of cold that makes you question your sanity. “I could go to the store for groceries or I could lie here and slowly die of hunger because starvation is less painful than the windchill.” Also the thermostat in my office has two settings: Oh, Hey That’s What Menopause Feels Like or Everyone Can See My Nipples. To fend off the cold, I decided to … Continue reading Knitting Patterns: Colorblock Scarf→
In case you can’t tell, I really like cowls (they keep my boobies warm!). Here’s a pattern for a mohair cowl I knit back when I was recovering from surgery. That’s right, I knit this puppy on Percocet. Go me and my functional narcotic use! We’ll be using 3 colors of mohair yarn to make a 6 color ombré cowl. Things you will need: size 7 circular needles – I recommend lace needles like Addi Turbo … Continue reading Knitting Pattern: Smart Bitches Think Pink Cowl→
Once again I’m here to assist you in your last minute Giftmas crafting. I spent a lot of time in the car over the long holiday weekend–a lot of time. Luckily I had this project to keep my busy. It’s simple enough that you don’t have to count or look at a chart or pattern, so it’s perfect for knitting in the car. Plus it’s mindless enough that you can still reach behind you to … Continue reading Knitting Pattern: Smart Bitches Lacy Cowl→
The thing about being a knitter is that you tend to not actually knit things for yourself. So when our first snowfall hit this year (fuck you, Wisconsin), I realized that I don’t have a scarf. Sure, I have an Outlandish cowl, but I had given all my scarves away. Luckily, I had some cool birthday yarn and season 6 of The Mentalist on DVD and two hours to kill. I made a scarf for … Continue reading Knitting & Crochet Pattern: The Smart Bitches 2 Hour Scarf→
