Lightning Reviews: A Bit Longer, But Still Quick!

Welcome back to Lightning Reviews! There’s a whole assortment here: a mystery, a contemporary romance, and a historical romance. The grades here range from borderline middling to straight up DNF.

There are also a couple here a little longer than our typical Lightning Reviews, though they’re still shorter than our regular reviews, which are typically over 1000 words.

Finding Jessica Lambert

author: Clare Ashton

I was ready to adore this book. It has an age gap between the two leads, one of them is a movie star, and the blurb gave me Notting Hill vibes.

Seriously, check out this blurb:

Movie star Jessica Lambert is in danger of burning out. Returning to London for the premiere of her latest film, she’s recognised everywhere she goes. When she runs away through the streets of London, she’s taken in by the beautiful and more mature Anna. The two hide in the sanctuary of Anna’s roof-top flat, a haven away from the crowds, but why has Anna removed herself from the world?

As the two women get to know each other, stripping away the layers, both appreciate what each does for the other. This could be the start of something wonderful, more than either of them know.

I was basically like this.

Unfortunately, Finding Jessica Lambert fell so flat for me that I stopped a little over halfway through and skipped ahead to a couple of spots, including to see how it ends. I’m happy Anna and Jess get their happily ever after, but I don’t care enough to watch them get there because I never fully believed in them as a couple. While each recognizes that the other is wildly attractive, I found them to have little chemistry. That’s partly because so much of their interaction is about Anna giving Jess a space to unwind and be herself, or Jess giving Anna enough courage to step slightly outside of her comfort zone.

That problem is exacerbated by Anna having no idea that Jess is a famous movie star, which isn’t mentioned in the blurb. I thought Jess would tell her pretty quickly, but she doesn’t.

Why it’s a problem that Jess doesn’t tell Anna who she is.

Anna used to be a well-known and respected actor, mainly on stage with the Royal Shakespeare Company. Her film career had been taking off when she had a scary stalker situation, and she has since been living with an anxiety disorder that she manages by living a small, routine-based life where she avoids as much attention and interaction as possible.

Anything related to acting is a massive trigger for Anna, so learning about Jess’s career will be catastrophic. The looming info reveal didn’t create tension as much as it had me saying, “Well, this is going to end badly.” I actually stopped reading at the 57% mark, shortly before the secret comes out, because I was tired of waiting and wasn’t invested enough in them to press on.

Two aspects that worked very well for me:

  1. Anna’s mother is awful and their interactions are excellent toxic family representation. If I’m rooting for anything to happen in this book, it’s for Anna to tell her mom to fuck off into the sun, although I didn’t confirm that when I skipped ahead.
  2. The writing is sometimes very funny, which kept me entertained even when the romance wasn’t working for me.

One last note for people who are interested: Jess is Black and autistic. I don’t know enough to say whether the Black British or autism rep is good, but I want to put it out there for people looking for either.

Ultimately, I was expecting that whole Notting Hill, cuddling up and falling in love with a celebrity away from the paparazzi thing. Finding Jessica Lambert delivered something very different and it just didn’t work that well for me.

Tara

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My Darling Duke

author: Stacy Reid

While reading My Darling Duke, I realized that as much as I rail against the popularity of magic peen as a plot device, magic cooch is not an improvement. Kitty Danvers and her group of wallflowery friends are veterans of multiple unsuccessful marriage market seasons in London. Kitty is a world-weary twenty-three, and with her hopes for a husband and children fading, she and her friends decide to be “sinful.” For Kitty, that means claiming to be engaged to a famously reclusive Duke in order to improve the prospects of her younger sisters. I didn’t find this particularly wicked, but I have high hopes for later books in the series, since one of the other wallflowers is considering a career as a courtesan, and another befriended a princess.

When the Duke, Alexander, reads about his supposed engagement in the paper, he’s more intrigued than angry. He decamps from his secret Scottish castle and shows up in London, surprising everyone, especially Kitty. Alexander has no interest in getting married, but he’s happy to play along with Kitty’s deception because of loneliness, and mutual attraction. He also has secrets of his own. His absence from society followed a fire that left him with dramatic facial scars, chronic pain, difficulty walking, and impotence. The first person to arouse him in ten years is Kitty.

I loved that despite Kitty’s discomfort about lying, she went all in on her role as a future duchess. She spends her family’s yearly income on ballgowns to look the part, gives interviews claiming the Duke writes her love poetry, and convinces Alexander’s lawyers to rent her a townhouse with his money. After she and Alexander meet and become co-conspirators, there’s a strange but delightful Beauty and the Beast-inspired interlude where Alexander forces her to spend a few weeks in his castle, and the servants try their best to play matchmaker. Despite being a near hermit, Alexander has an extensive collection of Phantom of the Opera-esque masks in a variety of fashionable prints, and wears them in London. This amused me.

Yet it wasn’t clear what Kitty and Alexander have in common, and I had trouble believing a marriage between the two of them would work. Alexander is passionate about political reform; Kitty has no interest in politics, and deflects any attempts to engage her in political conversation. Kitty has always wanted to travel, while Alexander seems more of an armchair traveler who loves reading about faraway places. What they both have in common is a focus on childbearing. Kitty wants kids, and Alexander thinks he’s unmarriageable if he can’t give a woman babies.

Which leads me to my main problem with My Darling Duke—how Alexander’s impotence is handled. Alexander’s inability to maintain an erection is the major obstacle in his relationship with Kitty, because he “can’t give her children,” and worries about not sexually satisfying her. This could have been an opportunity for sex scenes that normalized non-penetrative sex, especially since Kitty is a clueless virgin with only a vague sense of the male anatomy.

Instead, the vicissitudes of Alexander’s slowly reawakening cock overshadow the emotional arc of Kitty and Alexander’s love story. When they finally have sex, the clitoral orgasms he initially gives Kitty are depicted as insufficiently pleasurable when compared to the penisy pleasure she later receives, once sex with her fully heals his impotence. I appreciated that the couple learned to adapt their sex life to Alexander’s disability; it’s rare to read about characters trying out different positions until they find what works. But even through the epilogue, Alexander remains focused on attaining his idea of sexual success, the [boring] missionary position. Whatever, dude.

Show Spoiler

Alexander causes himself extreme pain, and seriously injures himself at one point, in order to manage missionary position. This is described as his special treat for Kitty, but it’s not something she cares about for most of the book. She is the one who figures out ways for them to have sex that won’t hurt him. It’s solely Alexander who is focused on missionary position, despite the physical cost.

I love a brazen fake relationship trope, and have to give props to a Regency where a doctor prescribes masturbation to the hero as a treatment for inflammation. (It fails because only Kitty IRL will do). But My Darling Duke missed the chance to tell a nuanced story of a (sex) life with chronic pain, while also underscoring a very narrow, heteronormative definition of sexual satisfaction. If you like reading about characters with a disability, I suggest looking elsewhere.

Shana

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Shadow Garden

author: Alexandra Burt

Shadow Garden is a book that is difficult to classify, but after a lot of pondering I think it’s best described as a thriller with some Gothic elements. The plotting is so excellent that I read it in one sitting, but I struggled to find a character to root for.

Former socialite Donna Pryor has moved to a beautiful assisted living community called Shadow Garden while she recovers from a broken hip. Donna’s memory is faulty, and she can’t recall why her surgeon husband, Edward, sent her there rather than care for her himself. She also hasn’t heard from her adult daughter, Penelope, which concerns her, but it seems like everyone at Shadow Garden is determined to keep her from asking too many questions.

This book utilizes the convention of an unreliable narrator to the fullest effect. We know that something is blocking Donna from remembering the events that led to her going to Shadow Garden (dementia? trauma? both?) and we watch her piece her former life together clue by clue. We also get some chapters from Edward and Penelope’s points of view that help move the narrative in the direction of the big event that led to Donna’s injury and memory loss.

Without spoiling too much, this is largely a novel about a family full of lies, secrets, and a need to appear perfect to the outside world. My issue with the book was none of the characters were likeable. This is a book about deeply flawed people, and as a result, it was hard for me to really invest myself in them. That said, the plot is so perfectly done and unwinds so beautifully, that it creates a fantastic momentum. If you’re the type of person who can read a mystery purely for the plot alone, this book will work for you. If, like me, you need a character to sympathize with, you may struggle to engage with the narrative.

Elyse

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Comments are Closed

  1. Kareni says:

    I saw “a bit longer, but still quick” and thought and this is a recommendation?!

  2. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    @Kareni: Context is everything!

  3. Lisa F says:

    Reid’s book have never really grabbed me; I gave this one a similar grade for Kitty’s initial foolishness re thinking it would never get back to Alexander because he hasn’t been in London for ages, as if they don’t have gossip rags in Scotland.

  4. GradStudentEscapist says:

    @Lisa F: Same! I’ve read two of her books now (including this one) and a) the writing was just bad b) the parts that were supposed to be sad/intense just made me laugh/roll my eyes. I just want Loretta Chase/Sherry Thomas/KJ Charles caliber of prose all the time 🙂 And it’s hard to find. Any recs welcome!

  5. Lisa F says:

    @GradStudentEscapist

    I love Shana Galen, though she can be pretty hit or miss. I adore all the folks you mentioned, plus Olivia Waite, who has never not made me happy. I’ve seen more linear quality in contemps lately.

  6. MaryK says:

    I was actually turned off My Darling Duke by the blurb that says she charges her gowns to his account. Which apparently doesn’t happen. Blurbs are so useless.

  7. Susan says:

    I’ve always loved the Lightning Reviews, but even more so these days when I have the attention span of a mayfly.

  8. Carol S says:

    Is pretending to be engaged to a duke without his knowledge “like, a thing” (as my teenagers would say)? I swear I read one recently where a debutante blurts out that she’s engaged to a duke at a ball even though she’s not (Wicked and the Wallflower maybe)?

  9. Maite says:

    Carol S:
    There’s a SARAH MACLEAN where the heroine does that. First of the Barenuckle Bastards. She is NOT a debutante, and while the duke does pretend to go woth tye engagement, he is not the hero.

    There’s a MAYA RODALE where the heroine does that. London’s least likely or something with Wallflowers was the series name. They do end up together in that one, but heroine is also not a debutante. (Think it was for sale recently)

  10. Susan/DC says:

    The heroine who pretends to be engaged to a reclusive nobleman is definitely a well-worn trope in Romancelandia. Amanda Quick used it, IIRC Anne Gracie has something like it, and there are probably others I’m too tired to think of.

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