Full disclosure, I’m drunk right now. Not like, super drunk, but buzzed. I’m also going through one of those phases where I don’t have the focus to read an entire novel so I was looking for something in the short story category. Hence Imagines.
Imagines is a giant-ass book of RPF (real person fic) by a variety of Wattpad authors. I hadn’t read RPF before (it’s like fanfic, but features actual celebrities rather than the characters they play) and I discovered two things:
1. It’s a little unsettling for me to read about a real person versus a character.
2. I’m really fucking old because I don’t know who half these people are.
So the premise of Imagines is that the reader is the protagonist in these celebrity encounters. What is, that 2nd person POV? I don’t know. I’m drunk. Each chapter had a different author and a different celebrity.
The first chapter, “Selfies,” was actually fascinating. It’s a reimagined world where taking selfies is illegal, and a means of societal and political control over women’s bodies. Kim Kardashian becomes a revolutionary figure in this world. I can honestly say it was the most interesting thing I’ve read about any of the Kardashians, which, granted, isn’t saying much.
A lot of the chapters are about single young women chancing into male celebrities. One woman (who knitted sweaters for her cat, my kinda gal) meets Chris Evans at the airport. Nothing really happens though. They just hang out. And that seems to be the gist of most of the stories. Meet celebrity. Hang out. Potential future hanging out implied. The end.
The problem for me was, I didn’t know who half these people were. Who the fuck is Daniel Sharman? Who the fuck is Dylan O’Brien? Is that Conan O’Brien’s son? I actually asked Redheadedgirl that and she was SO DISAPPOINTED in me. When I googled these people they were all so young I needed another drink. Christ. At one point I may actually have been sobbing “Who the hell is Cameron Dallas?!” into my rum and Coke.
There is a cool chapter that features a dystopian world and Tom Hardy as a “Seeker,” someone who searches for survivors in the apocalyptic wasteland. Major disappointment that the Seeker wasn’t reference to the creature who lives beneath the scrotum behind the second penis in Nicholas: Lords of the Satyr Book 1. I found I liked chapters that had more story or world building to them, rather than just “meets celebrity, hangs out, end.” But all of the chapters are really, really short (even for short stories) so there isn’t time to get immersed in much.
Not all of the chapters feature a male lead. There’s one about a night on the town with Jennifer Lawrence, which frankly was incredibly disappointing. I like to think that Jennifer is a kindred spirit and that if we were besties, many nights would be spent in yoga pants, hanging out with my cat, watching Netflix and eating pizza. Jesus Christ, who wants to go out? That’s so much fucking work. You have to put on a bra.
Maybe that’s my whole issue with this book. All of these chapters involve interacting with celebrities and my favorite thing about celebrities is that they are people I don’t have to interact with. I don’t actually want to have to talk to them–which requires a level of extroverting that is, quite frankly, exhausting–let alone go clubbing. I want them to entertain me then go away with zero expectation of anything from me.
I mean there’s this chapter where Justin Beiber designs a romantic scavenger hunt for “you/me.” I would literally rather have a pap smear every single day for the rest of my life than go on a romantic scavenger hunt with Justin Beiber. Not that I enjoy pap smears, it’s just that my OBGYN and I have an agreement where she gets to go spelunking in my lady cave, and I don’t talk have to make small talk with her while she does it. Also a pap lasts like 10 minutes TOPS and a romantic scavenger hunt sounds like an all-day thing. Once my husband hid my birthday present in the house and challenged me to find it, and I just laid on the living room floor like a starfish and whined after five minutes of searching BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU TURN PRESENTS INTO WORK, RICHARD? WHY?
I think I’m the wrong audience for this book. I’m too old and too grumpy. You know what I’d really like? A chapter where Chris Evans wound my yarn for me and then vacuumed the house. Maybe in a medium sized tee IDK. But then he leaves and I don’t have to make weird small talk.
I gave Imagines a C because while I didn’t work for me, it was exactly what it promised to be–short stories featuring real celebrities. It’s also clearly intended for an audience that I don’t belong to. I suspect they are probably all available free online somewhere; I’m just too drunk and lazy to check that.
This book is available from:
As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
We also may use affiliate links in our posts, as well.
Thanks!
ROFL, Elyse! This sounds exactly not up my alley. LOVED your review though–thank you!
That was hilarious. Hooray for being old and grumpy.
My god, Elyse, a day where Chris Evans tidied my house wearing a too small shirt and then left sounds like absolute and utter bliss. I know what’s powering my fantasies for the rest of the day.
I… don’t understand how this book is legal? I’ve seen RPF on LJ and Tumblr, but I’ve never seen fiction written about celebrities marketed for profit.
I know little about law, but that price tag… does it cross a line?
Old and grumpy here too because I don’t know who any of those people are and I don’t care lol
I’m not sure about the book, but the review was brilliant. Here’s to more drunken Elyse reviews. A+.
I’m with Elspeth! A+ on the review. But that’s at least partially because I also use the word “crabby” to talk about how certain aspects of books make me feel. I will never read this book, but I will always read an Elyse review.
The idea of writing fiction about real people without their consent makes me uncomfortable most of the time. I get the whole public figure thing, but at least with “based on a true story” options it is at least BASED on something a person actually chose to do. It feels too much like removing agency from someone, especially when that celebrity is a woman who already had private photos stolen and made public. I know it’s normal to incorporate celebrities into fictional worlds, but something about having them be the focus of a fictional story they had no input over that is then sold for profit feels like crossing a line.
Brilliant. There are too many great lines to quote here, Elyse. Suffice to say there’s much to recommend drunk reviewing. Well done.
This reminds me, weirdly, about the reaction to a mod for Baldur’s Gate 2. Baldur’s Gate 2, if you don’t know, was a fantasy role playing game for computers that got an enduring legacy due to the way people made mods for it… essentially, things you could install that would change the game in a variety of ways. Romance mods were some of the most popular, where your character could have long, serious, romantic relationships with the characters who joined your party, and one of the earliest was about a guy named Kelsey. It was a pretty popular mod, and for good reason… it was well written, the character was likable, the subplot was exciting, there was lots of flirting… and yet… Kelsey’s official portrait, the image you saw in game when he was getting all ~romantic~ with you, was a edited photo of the mod’s author. I just couldn’t get past it, and neither could a lot of people. Something about it was a little too “this is someone who actually exists” to enjoy.
Elyse, I adored this review. I love how you expressed your opinion. I think you took one for the team.
Personally, I find this book to have a ridiculous premise. For that matter, do really need to play into the Cult of the Celebrity this much? Worship of personalities is really outta hand as we can tell by a certain person dominating the news these days. Not naming any names.
I am old and grumpy and I don’t know who those people are either, but at least I know what RPF is now! =feeling slightly LESS old and grumpy, so yay! Also, hilarious review = less grumpy too so, double yay!
Oh, Lord. I literally have tears in my eyes over this. If only Chris Evans were the type of guy who’d fall for a woman who knits sweaters for her cat. But I’d need lots of bleach after reading sexy thoughts about Bieber.
I confess that, although I’m 56, I know exactly who Dylan O’Brien is since I have been known to binge watch a series (or more) of Teen Wolf. (Don’t judge me!) No idea about the Sharman guy, tho.
Oh dear. I know all these people, and I feel that I’m too old to do so. (Can I blame my 19 year old cousin who has made me watch multiple Cameron Dallas things?)
I too wonder about the legalities of this? Fanfic gets a pass (usually) because there is no money changing hands but wouldn’t this be making money of a celebrities “image”?
Psss Susan. Daniel Sharman is/was Isaac on Teen Wolf so depending on what season(s) you binged you would recognise him. (Sorry!)
I’m 21 and I didn’t recognize most of those names…honestly the stars that are popular to “tweens” are no longer recognizable by the time you are in college. At least for me and a lot of people I know.
And real person fic has always weirded me out. I’ve seen several “internet celebrities” act out real person fic about them to demonstrate how squiffy it really is. I think romance real person fic is my least favorite though, like when people write fan fiction about members of a band hooking up with each other. I mean it’s fine to have those thoughts and whatever, but to me writing it and publishing it is just…I don’t know. It’s not my cup of tea.
Although there is a *great* clip from the Graham Norton show of Graham, Daniel Radcliffe, Rocky Gervais and one other celeb I don’t remember writing a fanfic about Daniel Radcliffe on the official danrad fanfic page. It’s very funny. I think he also had one where Hugh Jackman, Michael Fassbender, and James McAvoy read xmen fanfic.
I feel like you are me! I didn’t recognize any of the names but Kim K. and I could only pick her out of a line up if the other people were male, black, Asian, or all three.
I completely agree that going out is too much work and I believe bras are a form of torture to be removed as soon as I get home.
Cheers!
@Shem–Haha. I *did* watch when Isaac was on. (Yes, OK, I actually watched more than one season. And now I’m thinking about picking back up where I left off.) I liked his character, but obviously didn’t pay attention to the actor’s name. I quickly learned that it doesn’t pay to get attached to characters on that show–it seems like an excessively high percentage of them leave or are killed off with unfulfilled potential. All that aside, I have no desire to read any RPF about the actor. Or any actor.
@Susan – The show didn’t get any better with the unnfulfilled potential so not sure I can recommend keeping on going 😛
(and I may have learned his name because I really enjoyed his face….and wished to see more of his face…but just in pictorial form not reading what might happened if we bumped into each other randomly or what have you. Although I *think* my friend went to a Teen Wolf convention and got him to sign something* wishing me a happy birthday.)
*It was probably a picture of his face. And I think it was him.
Imagine you fanfic keeps showing up on my dash and it always confuses me. Most of what I spot tends to be Narnia fic and almost always involving the male characters. To have it be RPF and published isn’t something I expected to see and I don’t think I’d read it. Thank you for an amazing review.
Whenever I’ve skimmed what appears on Tumblr, it always feels incredibly personal in a way that fanfic usually doesn’t. I mean fanfic is personal but the use of the second person shifts things into a place that’s more clearly this is a fantasy. I’d be curious to know how this book made it into the published world.
Possibly my new favorite review ever!
What the hell *is* that second-person POV genre called, anyone know? I have no idea how to begin looking for info on it, but it seems to have gone from zero to everywhere on AO3 in the year or two between the last time I read a lot of fanfic and now. I totally don’t get the appeal–it takes me out of the story rather than actually helping me imagine it–but I’m fascinated by how it’s now everywhere.
Apparently Nathaniel Hawthorne used the second person POV
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Second-person_narrative
@Sally: The only place I used to consistently see it was the “Three Days In…” spotlight location articles in Continental and then United airlines in-flight magazine. It used to drive me batty. “You stop for a leisurely coffee and admire the passing tourists and locals. And you make sure to sample the local whatever it is.” ARGH. Hated it. Love reading travel articles, dislike intensely second person POV.
@Gloriamarie Amalfitano and @SB Sarah, I have seen it a few times in magazines or, as Gloriamarie’s link mentions, choose your own adventure books, Italo Calvino, etc. But some of the fanfics I’ve seen using this very specific Reader POV are even more jarring than just using “you” for everything–like, I see stuff like, “Loki gazes deeply into your (Eye Color) eyes and says, ‘I’ve never felt this way before, Your Name.'” And some version of that style seems to be present in a lot of them in this POV.
Confession time – I did something very similar a couple of Valentine’s Days ago for a dating site. I and some other authors, paired people with the characters and real life celebrities that they admired in very short fiction on Twitter. With this experience in mind I think it might be why the celebrities seem characterless and just ‘hang out’. We were told to be very careful what we wrote about the celebs, there had to be nothing libellous in what they did or said in our fiction, and nothing graphic that might bring them into disrepute. It’s very hard to write any kind of scenario about real life people whom you don’t know, who mustn’t do anything that might cause them to sue!
I’m sorry, am I the only one who read “creature that lives below the scrotum behind the second penis” and just stopped everything? Apparently everyone else knows this Lords of Satyr series XD I do know Dylan O’Brien, but I do not know about scrotum creatures. My brain is broken and I cannot move on.