This wonderful image comes from Carole, who has a never ending folder of Cover Snark contenders.
I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve had a cover hit all the snark bases:
- Distracting nipples
- Random baby
- Everything is on fire?
- Multiple fonts
- Photoshopped tattoos
- A bear
It’s very…busy, to say the least.
Comment below with your caption! Caption that cover however you wish! You can come up with a new title or tagline. Do all the pieces fit together like weird romance cover Megazord? Do you think the baby is a biker or a shifter?
The best captioner will receive a $10 bookstore credit to a book retailer of their choosing.
Standard disclaimers apply: We are not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents where permitted by applicable law. Must be over 18. Give any tattoo ideas a second, and maybe a third, thought. Perhaps don’t tattoo a biohazard symbol above your crotch. Comments will close Friday January 24, 2019 around noon ET, and a winner will be announced shortly thereafter.
Good luck!
Winner update:
Congratulations to Luce:
Biker and baby: innocent victims of a lab accident. One became a bear shifter, the other got IBS.
Sorry, not entering, but did anyone else notice his belly button tattoo that is the international symbol for Biohazard materials? That’s a real mood.
Biker and baby: innocent victims of a lab accident. One became a bear shifter, the other got IBS.
@Amy K: Thanks to the belly button placement, I can’t unsee a cyclopean goat with a handlebar mustache, which is also a mood.
(Also not entering)
“The curious case of Benjamin B. [Bare, Bear, or Belly, take your pick] Button”
“The Bear God: Ritual Baby Sacrifice”
This is a Roger Rabbit spin-off featuring Baby Herman, isn’t it?
“Yeah—you’d make this face too if you were stuck on this crazy-ass cover!”
This baby hates abs.
“Beartrayed – not my cub”. When you leave your MC for a woman and realized that she was cheating on your with a Grizzly along.
My first thought was this was a messed up version of Total Recall’s (original version) George/Kuato. I’m pitying Quaid.
Then I wondered if the guy had tried breast feeding.
I’m thinking that biohazard tattoo may be completely appropriate.
When Toxins Collide.
Also, that biohazard tattoo is NOT CENTRED. Get it right or go home!!
(Not here for the contest, just the lolz.)
Hello? I’m hungry and that bear smells and there is a motorcycle on my BACK! I am Cover Baby and I have seen some shit.
Not entering but have to comment. I wouldn’t know where to start. It looks like he’s holding the baby by his/her diapers. FFS.
Or maybe it’s a half-baby/half-motorcycle because that could go that way, too. And the half baby/bike is all like, “Yo, hold my beer and watch this.”
There’s a member of the Lollipop Guild growing out of my side like some bizarre half absorbed twin or nuclear accident and all I got was this lousy shirt that won’t ever close.
Even as a baby, Clyde knew that bears shouldn’t have wings.
Stick with a grumpy baby, Andy would just have to grin and bear it.
Author: “I want my cover art to invoke the very essence of ‘WTF?'”
Artist: “You’ve come to the right place.”
Take one laid back but sexually adventurous bear shifter. Add in a cranky mutant biker and his tattooed boyfriend.
Stand back and watch the sparks fly in this sexy post apocalyptic m/m/m.
Extreme Age Difference Romance: Baby It’s Toxic
(Also, I can’t believe my mind went there yuuuck)
She knew the baby was mine, he glows when he poops just like his dad.
The bear said she was mine but the baby was determined to go its own way.
*freeze frame* You’re probably wondering what a baby like me is doing with a headless body and a bear. One minute I’m a regular baby and the next, this shirtless, headless body comes up to me riding on a bear. And the bear tells me that I’m the only one who can find the guy’s shirt and head. Also, the guy is me from the future so it’s really in my own best interest to help. One look at my face will tell you how happy I am about this situation.
The Shifter’s Cyborg Baby – Resistance is Futile
Adventures in Bearbysitting – Demon Biker Chronicles Book 1
“Stay back, bear. I’ve got a loaded baby and I’m not afraid to use it.”
He claimed to be the real father, but the baby knew he was a bear-faced liar.
LOL, I’m not the only one who immediately thought that was one of the Lollipop Guild!
Baby Got BearFace
Ugh, I meant to put:
Stuck with a grumpy baby, Andy would just have to grin and bear it.
Not my loftiest attempt at humor, but let’s start with something:
“The bear watched as the headless man affixed the bike to the baby’s back. It was starting to suspect this wasn’t a real scientist.”
One is a man with UNS (Unruly Nipple Syndrome) and an inability to close his shirt over his self-diagnosed biohazard navel.
One is a disgruntled baby with biohazard diapers that can only be cleaned using industrial steam equipment.
One is a housekeeper, just bear-ly keeping the family together.
Can these three live together without driving each other crazy?
very interesting
The baby doesn’t have IBS. He’s literally shitting a motorcycle. I think tattooed daddy and mama bear need to take him to urgent care.
Resting Bear Face: She’s not a witch
It’s time to hibernate….
BioBearBikeBaddyBreeder
Nipplegate Baby *Bears* It on a Bike
He’s a breastfeeding daddy.
Smokey the Bear says “Only you can stop your babies from venturing into pelvic bio-hazards!” In fact, taking a step back to view the whole package, Smokey the Bear would prefer that you just noped out entirely. That means you too, kiddo!