Star Princess is the most deranged book I’ve ever read. If this novella were a person, it would be someone who dropped a ton of ecstasy and rolled around in glitter and danced on a laptop while at a rave. This story demands a plot summary with spoilers so beware because I’m going to spoil EVERYTHING. Princess Ro’sa, who is green, is supposed to leave her home planet, Minjet, and go to Earth. Earth is a polluted mess … Continue reading The Star Princess by Jessica E. Subject →
RHG and I (CarrieS) saw Jupiter Ascending and we are here to tell you that it is just terrible and we loved every batshit minute of it. Is the movie “good”? No, in the sense that it was relentlessly derivative, totally soapy, had some god-awful lines, a plot that frankly never did make much sense, and characters that had very little development and when they did develop it was in peculiar ways. Yes, in the … Continue reading Jupiter Ascending →
So apparently, in addition to being the Knitter in Residence here at SBTB, I am also the the aquatic romance reviewer. When Amanda sent me a book about a mermaid stripper, you know I had to read that, right? It’s as crazy-sauce as I could have hoped. The book is about Aazuria, a mermaid princess who lived in an undersea ice palace and who is now destitute after her murdering her dad. To be fair, her … Continue reading Drowning Mermaids by Nadia Scrieva →
Earlier this month, Francesca solved Nancy’s HaBO, wherein she was looking for a fantasy romance featuring a heroine with silver hair. She was most thankful, and ordered it right away. The book turned out to be Passion Moon Rising by Rebecca Brandewyne, and after Nancy found a copy and re-read it, she wanted to share her review with y’all. We are even MORE thankful! So please welcome Nancy, and Passion Moon Rising. Sidenote: I think I might end up using Passion … Continue reading Passion Moon Rising by Rebecca Brandewyne – A Guest Review from Nancy →
The things I do for love. And cookies. After I reviewed the orca-shifter, time-travel penis crazysauce that is The Orca King, several people begged me to review the sequel The Orca King II which according to Amazon contains “orca whale and sea serpent sex play,” and I was all nuh-uh, I already took one for the team. But I love you fellow Smart Bitches, so I bought it after all. Also I might have been … Continue reading Review: The Orca King II by Darragha Foster →
There is so much epic WTF crazysauce going on in LoveSpell that it’s basically RedHeadedGirl bait. I read it on the beach, and when I was done I considered setting it on fire and casting it into the sea at sunset in a magenta and turquoise funerary rite. First of all, let’s talk about the cover. That is clearly MacGyver making out with Rogue from X-Men. By the way, the heroine has a white streak … Continue reading Review: LoveSpell by Nelle McFather →
This Guest Review is from KKW, who wrote to me about this book because she thought she'd learned about it on Smart Bitches. Alas, we did not have anything about this book in the archives that I could find. BUT NOW WE DO! I thought I picked up this book based on a bitchery review, but apparently I was simply enticed by the cover. Enticing, right? Desire's Bride by Teresa Howard has an American Civil War … Continue reading Guest Review: Desire’s Bride by Teresa Howard →
I should probably have stopped with The Last Victim—a romantic suspense thriller I reviewed previously and found to be liberally dosed with crazysauce. If you haven’t read that review, do so now, because you need backstory to understand my reaction to The Last Kiss Goodbye. The Last Kiss Goodbye picks up almost immediately where The Last Victim left off. These books really do need to be read in order, so if you want to read … Continue reading The Last Kiss Goodbye by Karen Robards →
I picked up a copy of Fern Michaels’ Captive Splendors from a used bookstore, and boy was I in for a surprise. I vaguely remember reading her Texas series back when I was a teen, but I didn’t remember anything about it. This one had a benign cover and some vague references to desire on the high seas, and I love a good pirate story, so I grabbed it. I had girded my loins in … Continue reading Captive Splendors by Fern Michaels →
This book has it all, and by “all” I mean All The Cliches That Will Drive Me Nuts. Some of my recent ranting about cliches? Largely inspired by this book, I am sad to say. The story starts out so cool, and I was anticipating something truly different and amazing. In the heroine, I got some of that. In the hero and the plot, I got All Of The Cliches. All of them. I am … Continue reading An Innocent in Paradise by Kate Carlisle →
I received an email from reader Maria, who told me about this book and said it was UNREAL in its bizarre badness. So of course I forwarded her description to RedHeadedGirl, who replied, and I quote, “WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY I NEED TO READ IT”. Seriously, you guys. The official book description does NOT even TOUCH the crazysauce that floods this book. This is what it says: Monte Carlo is abuzz with news that Ram … Continue reading Maharaja’s Mistress by Susan Stephens: A Dueling Review →
