Elyse Watches The Bachelorette S19 E10: Not the Finale

Tonight is the finale (maybe? I think?)of The Bachelorette and my friend, Jen, has decided to join me in my suffering.

Update: Google tells me this is not the finale. FUCK. I’m guessing next week is After the Final Rose.

Pudding says she votes that the season ends with Gabby and Rachel pushing all the men into the sea and spending the rest of their time in Mexico hanging out together.

After her upsetting conversation with Erich, Gabby reflects that he “fucked everything up last night.” She tells Dale it was unfair that Erich confronted her with his feelings that the week was “cheating” after they had already discussed it privately in Fantasy Suites.

Meanwhile Jason, who has the last date with Gabby, reflects that he’s not ready for engagement.

As they meet up Gabby says, “I’m falling in love with Jason and I think he feels the same way.”

Pudding: Surprise!

For their date they play tennis. Jason played in college I guess. I wasn’t paying attention.

Meanwhile Erich is upset that she’s on a date with another man.

WHICH IS THE POINT OF THE SHOW.

During the dinner they aren’t allowed to eat they have a camera positioned behind the ceiling fan so we’re watching them talk from above while the fan blades keep flying by.

Jason says he knows the expectation is engagement and says, “To be fully honest, I don’t think I’m there yet. I don’t think in another seven days I’ll be ready for that. I just want to be like fully transparent.”

Gabby asks if he can’t see them together at all.

“It’s hard for me to see that at all, in this bubble, because I feel like you don’t truly know who I am,” he replies.

You mean after like 1 total day of dating on camera?

“It’s been hard for me to feel at ease with the cameras and microphones,” he says.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO ON THIS SHOW?

Gabby gets up and walks away. Jason follows her and says he still wants to try and have a relationship with her.

He says he sees something special that could turn into a serious relationship. What is his deal? Shit or get off the pot, man. Then they start making out.

I don’t even know anymore.

Then they both agree that they need a night off camera to figure out if they should stick together.

Gabby says, “A future with Jason would be full of surprises. He’s especially guarded.”

Pudding: Those aren’t good things.

The next morning things aren’t going well. Gabby says, “My mind is spinning because these weeks you were here participating so you did see this going somewhere.”

Jason says, “I truly needed that time for me to realize this wasn’t going to work for us.”

YIKES.

Gabby doesn’t walk him out. She tearfully tells the camera that it wasn’t that Jason didn’t want an engagement, he wasn’t in love with her at all. She wonders why he was there at all.

“Is it me?” she asks. “Is there something about me that’s too broken to love?”

Honey, these men are trash. Get therapy. Self care.

Next up is Rachel’s date with Zach.

The two of them explore the town and take tequila shots. They talk about how well Rachel fit in with Zach’s family during the Hometown dates.

Before the dinner they aren’t allowed to eat, Zach says he’s in love with Rachel and can see spending the rest of his life with her.

Rachel tells him that she was in her head during their date thinking about things went down with Clayton and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

They go to the Fantasy Suite together.

The next morning both of them are pretty giddy. Then Zach says he’s feeling confused after the previous night. “Fantasy suite night with Rachel was not the night I expected.” He said that Rachel brought up her fear he wasn’t ready for commitment, and he told her not to worry. He says, “She got really adamant like ‘are you sure?’ Like she was making me second guess.”

He says he thinks her concern came out of nowhere and it was “bullshit and she was putting on a front.”

So then Zach goes to Dale’s room and starts crying.

Pudding: Jesus Christ, these people.

He tells Dale that he felt they were strangers in the Fantasy Suite. “When the cameras were away it felt like wasn’t showing her true self. It was very unauthentic at times.”

Apparently Rachel was worried that at 25 he wasn’t ready to commit (she’s 26).

The next morning Gabby is writing in her sadness journal.

I ask Jen if she wants to watch the whole next season with me and she says it will either bring us closer together or end in a true crime podcast.

We get to The Dreaded Rose Ceremony. Zach asks to talk to Rachel first.

“My heart is pounding out of my chest,” Zach says.

Pudding: That’s tachycardia. It can kill you.

When Rachel pulls up Dale tells her that Gabby won’t be with her at this rose ceremony.

Meanwhile Gabby stands on the beach and looks thoughtfully into the sunset. She says she needs to talk to Erich.

Erich tells the camera that he was being insecure and for “me to harp on something that was bothering me was insensitive to her.”

Gabby goes to his room. She tells him she feels like they misunderstood each other and she was upset that he didn’t trust her. She tells him, “You taught me how I want to be treated and how to ask for those things.”

What?

So their last conversation was a fight because he didn’t trust her and now he taught her how to ask for the things she needs in love. I’m assuming that doesn’t include trust then?

She tells him he’s the last one left and that she loves him. They make out.

“Erich is definitely the love of my life,” Gabby says.

Pudding: Erich is the only one who stayed.

Elsewhere Zach asks to talk to Rachel and they walk away.

Then we cut to a studio in LA where Dale tells us we won’t get resolution of the final Dreaded Rose Ceremony tonight because it’s too shocking and we need to prepare ourselves.

And that’s where we end. See you next week. Are you watching?