We’re down to five suitors and Pudding and I are placing our bets on who we think might win.
This is Pudding’s current expression because my husband (aka the butler) kissed her forehead without her consent.
The audacity!
THE VERY DARE, SIR!
(She also slapped his mouth)
At the suitor house, Mr. Nazaire reveals that he was the one who outed Mr. Chapman as not being ready for commitment. Mr. Chapman admits that he feels lust and wonders if it will turn into love, while he thinks Nicole is in love with him.
Nicole’s family decides to divide and conquer, with each person spending more time with one of the remaining suitors to determine who is best for Nicole.
That night, everyone attends a pleasure garden with a carousel, fortune telling, fire breathing and dancing.
Extremely random story: I was terrified of carousels as a child.
Pudding: Carousels?
Me: Yes.
Pudding: With the fake horsies?
Me: Yes.
Pudding: You’ve spent a lot of money on therapy haven’t you?
Me: Also yes.
So when I was five we went to Disney World and went on the carousel. An elderly lady tried to climb on the horse next to me, went right over the other side and they had to call an ambulance for her (she was fine, just bruised) but regardless, I didn’t go back on a carousel after that.
ANYWAY.
Nicole has her tea leaves read. The psychic tells her Mr. Hunter is ready for marriage.
Mr. Rémy flat out asks Mr. Bochicchio if he’s ready for marriage. Despite having hedged in the past, Mr. Bochicchio says he is and that his family would welcome Nicole. Mr. Rémy tells the camera that he wasn’t initially a fan of the suitor, but that he feels Mr. Bochicchio evolved.
Mrs. Rémy asks Mr. Cones if his family would accept a Black woman as his wife, and he reveals his mom is Afro-Brazilian and says it wouldn’t be an issue.
The physic also tells Nicole that Mr. Nazaire is open to love.
Pudding: This woman is extremely unhelpful.
Mr. Nazaire reveals that he distanced from his family in last relationship because his family and his partner’s family hated each other. He doesn’t want to do that again and wants someone that his family will embrace. He then proceeds to get absolutely shitfaced.
I’m not sure Mr. Cones is much more sober.
Nicole dances with Mr. Bochicchio and Mr. Nazaire tries to cut in. “Fuck off,” says Mr. Bochicchio.
Later Mr. Chapman and Nicole kiss on the carousel.
Pudding: Don’t you mean the horsie ride of terror?
Me: Shut up.
Nicole says she thought she wanted marriage and kids right away, but now she realizes she wants someone who looks at her the way Mr. Chapman does.
At the end of the night Nicole’s brother departs for home as his wife is due to give birth soon.
The next morning Mr. Bochicchio asks Mr. Chapman if he’s still uncertain regarding love and lust. He admits that he is.
Later Mr. Judge and Nicole go on a carriage ride and go apple picking. Nicole reflects that Mr. Judge feels like a safe bet and she isn’t sure he has enough “edge” to him.
Nicole has tea with Mr. Nazaire and he says he wants to be married and have kids, but he doesn’t know when.
In the suitor house, Mr. Chapman, Mr. Bochicchio and Mr. Cones talk about how they envision life with Nicole. Mr. Chapman says, “I can’t imagine living with someone. I can barely live with you guys. There are times when I want to be alone and not communicate for days on end.”
He says he wants periods of separation in a relationship.
Pudding: I believe the youths call this “Friends with Benefits.”
So then it’s time for the Farewell Dance and Nicole has the most amazing green dress on.
Mr. Nazaire and Mr. Judge are on the dance card.
Nicole tells Mr. Judge that feels too safe. She questions Mr. Nazaire’s commitment.
In the end she sends Mr. Nazaire home, but keeps Mr. Judge. Mr. Judge says, “My feet are completely numb.”
Are you watching?
I love these reviews!
At this point I’m trying to figure out who the remaining suitors are like “…oh, you guys are still here?”
Nicole says she thought she wanted marriage and kids right away, but now she realizes he wants someone who looks at her the way Mr. Chapman does.
So I guess that puts him high on the list… Not that my expectations are great for reality tv participants, but that doesn’t sound like a long-term strategy. “I was willing to marry & have kids with whatever warm body showed up, but I’ve changed my expectations for the guy who won’t commit but is a good kisser.” You know, I normally DNF books with that as a premise.
Mr. Judge sounds like the life of the party. And Mr. Bochicchio’s a real prize. My money’s on Mr. Chapman getting to the end but failing to commit or committing then immediately backing out for a dramatic reveal.
…she realizes she* wants someone… typo in the copypasta
I am so here for Lady Pudding’s lessons on consent. Society would be better if schools taught that.
I’m here for that green dress though.
Oops- fixed! Thank you!
Lady Pudding demonstrates the feline ability to give you the “cut direct”.
I’m 98% here for Lady Pudding and The Butler (which should obviously be optioned as a sitcom), but the 2% of me paying attention to the actual recap marvels at the amount of time these guys spend talking to one another about the state of their feelings for Nicole. Do these conversations also happen on-camera in The Bachelor(ette) and I’ve just skimmed those recaps so hard I’ve missed them, or are faux Regency gentlemen more inclined to measure their (and everyone else’s) feelings?
Lady Pudding has some very deep insights. I love her.
I don’t watch this or the Bachelor franchise;I just read Elyse’s recaps for her straight talk, snark, and pet updates. And to honor the Rose God. However, I agreed with Deborah. Is this show somewhat… “healthier” might be the term I’m looking for (?) for all involved. Setting aside the Regency set-up, Nicole has a support system there for her and the guys are having honest (okay, as honest as you can be on camera) conversations about their feelings. Or no? Is my perception wrong?
I too believe the Lady Pudding and the Butler need their own show. A sitcom, or maybe another reality show in which she “sponsors ladies for a season” but instead of teaching them fan flirting teaches them about setting relationship boundaries and how to recognize gaslighting.
No good can come of marrying the butler, Elyse! Next thing you know, people will be running off with their chauffeurs! Tsk.