Cover Snark: Best of 2019

NB: This week, we’re taking a look back at some of our favorite and our most popular pieces of writing this year. We’ve got a week of best-of posts to share, with reviews, cover snark, sales, and more. We hope you enjoy revisiting our archives, and most of all, we wish you and yours a wonderful holiday and a happy new year – with all the very best of reading.

These are the top five Cover Snark posts of 2019! I’m not sure if it was this year or really last year, but we upped the Cover Snarkage. Instead of once a month, we started doing it twice a month. There is never a shortage of covers to snark and these collections in particular were quite popular.

Let’s see which Snarks reign supreme.

The Alpha's Concubine by Claudia King. A shirtless dude in a loincloth is sitting on a rock with a woman at his feet. She's also wearing a loincloth outfit. Behind them, a lake is on fire.5. Cover Snark Bingo (June 10)

One cover in particular really nails all the usual suspects we’ve come to expect in a good Cover Snark. Bad photoshop. Several distracting font choices. A lake of fire?

Best reader comment is from PamG:

Alpha’s Concubine is not actually a romance but rather a YA dystopian novel about the consequences of rampant, outta control fracking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Solace by Alanea Alder. A black and white cover of a shirtless man stretching his hands above his head. However, his nipples and the indentation of his abs make it look like his torso is smiling.4. Cover Snark: Return of the Mullet (July 8)

One hero’s cover mullet cred is called into question, while another reveals the ability to levitate off a staircase. But the true winner of this snark is the magical face seen in one lucky man’s torso.

Best reader comment is from Ren Benton:

I assume the last one is a paranormal because that’s the face of a vampire bat (which is not one of the more attractive bats—sorry your man doesn’t turn into a flying doggo who wraps himself in a stylish leather cape to hang out).

 

 

 

 

 

The Haunting of the Hockomock Swamp by H.E. Kline. A shirtless man in a Native American headdress is standing in a blue-hued swamp. A pterodactyl seems to be flying around in the background.3. Cover Snark: Chainmail, But Make It Fashion (February 11)

We may have reached the peak of cover snark fashion, with a man in a hoodie paired with a woman who has some chainmail elegantly draped over one shoulder. Watch out, Vogue!

Best reader comment is from cbackson (who became a staff reviewer for us this year!):

I STRONGLY encourage you to read the Amazon page for the Haunting of the Hockomock Swamp (especially the “from the author” note). There’s a lot of WTF going on here:

“Perhaps when your children are haunted and plagued by a mysterious illness, it is not a result of biology or science but a vengeful spirit of the past using your children as a medium for the truth.”

 

 

 

The Sheikh's Sextuplet Baby Surprise by Holly Rayner. A man in a tux and a woman in a wedding dress with heavy makeup are standing close together. The woman is looking at the reader and she does not seem happy.2. Cover Snark: Wait, How Many Babies? (July 29)

This Snark is full of medical mysteries. We have a man with a missing belly button. There’s a woman who had a “sextuplet baby surprise.” And, a woman who may be seconds around from strangling the hero with her own legs.

Best reader comment is from Lisa F:

I’m trying to imagine having enough energy to date around after having six infants puking and peeing on me all day. Oh Romance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Surprise Delivery by R.R. Banks. A man in blue scrubs is lifting up his shirt to expose a nipple. He also has a surgical mask that is half hanging off his face. 1. Cover Snark: Dr. Nips, Private Practice (August 12)

The Dr. Nips category of romance covers is probably one of my favorite phrases we’ve coined on the site. It’s truly the gift that keeps on giving with seemingly endless covers to snark.

Best reader comment is from Another Kate:

I’m very worried about Dr. Nips… I have a working knowledge of musculoskeletal anatomy (a Physical Therapy degree will do that) and the layers of his abdominal muscles are all wrong. He really ought to see one of his colleagues about that.

 

 

 

And that’s our top five! What do you think? Did you have any Cover Snark favorites this year?

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Kit says:

    In just wondering how a woman can miss having sextuplets?

  2. 2
    Qualisign says:

    @Kit. Amnesia. More specifically, pregnesia.

  3. 3
    DiscoDollyDeb says:

    I do want the Bitchery to know that the MY SOLACE cover made it absolutely impossible for me to enjoy what had hitherto reigned as the hottest cover ever (IMHO)—Natasha Knight’s DEVIL’S BARGAIN. Every time I look at it now, I see a face (someone suggested it’s that of a fox) in his torso and that just destroyed the magic, alas.

    https://www.amazon.com/Devils-Bargain-Natasha-Knight-ebook/dp/B07SHBX7KB/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2VMH62E7WD5VW&keywords=devils+bargain+natasha+knight&qid=1577714426&sprefix=Natasha+knight+devil%2Caps%2C184&sr=8-2

  4. 4
    Escapeologist says:

    This right here is my favorite cover snark commentary ever.

    (In the Return of the Mullet/ Torso face batch)

    Amanda: His body type reminds me of a spatchcocked chicken.

    Sarah: Still trying to read the tattoo. None of my guesses are valid Scrabble words.

  5. 5
    HeatherS says:

    “The Alpha’s Concubine” still looks to me like “pre-fame Scarlett Johansson doing stock photo modeling because, hey, a girl’s gotta eat”.

  6. 6
    NCK says:

    I sent in Alpha’s Concubine, and I’m so glad everyone loved this cover’s insanity as much as I did.

  7. 7
    denise says:

    @HeatherS

    I see her, too.

  8. 8
    Taylor says:

    I think the description in 3 is for a different book?

  9. 9
    DiscoDollyDeb says:

    @Taylor: the intros are for all the books in that particular edition of Cover Snark. Click on each link and you’ll see the whole thing.

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