Sexytimes for Turnip

We’ve got quite a selection of covers here. Some satirical, some terrifying, some stunning, and some stunning for other reasons than the first one that was stunning. You ready to pick a winner, and implore Lauren Willig to Write Turnip’s Missing Sexytimes? Here we go! Voting takes place right here, so vote early, vote often (or once, as your IP address allows). Note: the poll might jump around – sorry about that. Tricky poll.

First up is: Hungry Eyes


Oh, Lord. Zee Bucket will have a LOT to say about the use of his nefarious cousin, MS Paint.

Next, we have The Mischief of the Mistletoe – Pudding Edition:


I’m not going to look at pudding the same way ever again.


Here’s Tweak My Turnip, which also involved MS Paint, and some unfortunate actual turnips:



And finally, a piece of art, Particularly the Back Side: Uncovering Turnip:



So, which is your winner? Voting will continue through Monday, and we’ll announce the winners then. Which rocks your world for Turnip Sexytimes?


Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    rudi_bee says:

    Really really never looking at pudding the same way again. But I still love Tweak My Turnip the best.

  2. 2
    Marguerite says:

    I am so torn. Mischief of the Mistletoe is a lovely cover that would actually draw me to a book, but Tweak my Turnip is just grabbing my attention and not letting go.

  3. 3
    Judith Loue says:

    I’ll be the odd girl and go with Hungry Eyes….she looks so damned serious except for those “purple ” eyes!!!!

  4. 4
    shel says:

    Hungry Eyes takes WTFLOL to a new level. 😛

  5. 5
    Sharon says:

    Hungry eyes is just plain creepy- Pudding mischief is perfect!

  6. 6
    Diva says:

    Pudding Mischief! So fun.

    I can’t wait to read Turnip’s deflowering. Or, being a turnip, I suppose his “devegetation”? That just sounds disturbing.

  7. 7
    cleo says:

    So tough to choose between Pudding Mischief and Uncovering Turnip.  What fun!

  8. 8
    Steven says:

    So tough to choose between Pudding Mischief and Uncovering Turnip.  What fun!

    I agree! I wanna give my vote to “The Mischief of the Mistletoe” because it’s so clever, but “Uncovering Turnip” is INCREDIBLY sexy. I normally try to avoid the, “HE’S SO HAWT OMG” vote, but I can’t deny that if I saw that cover in a bookstore I would have to buy it.

  9. 9

    I’m a sucker for a six-pack, so my vote goes to Tweak My Turnip.

  10. 10
    Daisy says:

    Off topic, but I have to post this somewhere: Am I the only person who reads the ad for the Cinderella story here, A Midnight Dance, as “determined to find her prince…AND MAKE HIM GAY”????  It cracks me up every time, politically incorrect though it may be: She Made Him Gay. 

    yep, I probably am the only one.

      Back to your regularly scheduled turnip-tweaking.

  11. 11
    cleo says:

    @ Daisy – that’s how I read it too.  Cracks me up too.

  12. 12
    cleo says:

    @ Daisy again – just remembered that the first time I noticed the “make him gay” ad I was watching the Neil Patrick Harris video, “It’s not just for gays anymore”.  I thought maybe NPH singing the word gay over and over warped my brain, but no, now I’m going to blame the font.

  13. 13

    Hi, all!  It looks like there are two more entries in the Comments section of the original post.  Just wanted to make sure those didn’t get left out….

    May the best Turnip win!

  14. 14
    Elemental says:

    I voted for the second one. It’s simple, cute, amusing and suggestive without being too obvious.

    …though I now want to know about the secret history of the pink carnation!

  15. 15
    Amused says:

    If “Uncovering Turnip” had been titled “Turnip, the Backstory”, it would have been no contest. I guess I’ll still back (root for?) that gloriously mantittiless option.

  16. 16

    Or “Turnip Got Back”?  : )

  17. 17
    Andrea Clark says:

    Definitely voting for Uncovering Turnip – what a great cover!!!

  18. 18
    Amused says:

    “Turnip Got Back” is an utterly perfect title for a truly spectacular cover. Lauren, you have a rare talent! I just can’t stop laughing every time I repeat it. “Turnip Got Back”.

    As the basis of the competition was to give Turnip his moment (or two?),  something along the lines of “Turnip, the Heat” might have had some merit…

  19. 19
    Heather says:

    Alright even though I have read what may be considered (by some) far too many Regencies, but I am still a stupid American.  What exactly is a pudding?  When I think of pudding I think of the instant stuff you make from the jello boxes.  I have read a few recipies but am still not really sure what a pudding is.

  20. 20
    Marguerite says:

    @Heather – “pudding” on its own is often a term simply used to refer to any dessert. (Unless you’re talking about Yorkshire puddings, which are more like popovers.)

    However, Christmas pudding / Plum pudding is a very specific dish that is… well, it’s sort of like a boiled or steamed fruitcake! It’s prepared weeks ahead of time (at a minimum!) and then aged to let the flavours intensify—often with regular helpings of brandy to keep it “fed” and to prevent it from drying out entirely.

    You can see pictures from Google Images here, and here’s a pretty standard recipe. Though naturally, each family will really have their own “secret” recipe as well!

  21. 21
    Joann says:

    Can’t stop staring at the Uncovering Turnip entry!! And I am all for Lauren’s “Turnip Got Back” title change. Looking forward to reading Turnips Sexytimes!

  22. 22
    Bekah says:

    Ummmm…definitely “Uncovering Turnip”.  I don’t think I even need to explain myself 🙂  Can’t wait to see what Lauren comes up with for the “missing chapter”!!!

  23. 23
    Sarah says:

    Who doesn’t love Turnip?!?

  24. 24
    JamiSings says:

    Well, for me the Pudding one is too cute not to vote for. I’ve never been much for overly muscled men or their backs – if I think backs I think butts, and if I think butts I think of bowel movements. Just not sexy.

  25. 25

    I was struck by this coincidence and wonder whether Willig’s been reading A Dance of Dragons, Book 5 of the Game of Thrones series:

    [Jaime has walked into the tent of Lord Jonos and found him in bed with a woman] “Jaime smiled at the woman in the bed. She had one hand over her left breast and the other between her legs, which left her right breast exposed. Her nipples were darker than Cersei’s and thrice the size. When she felt Jaime’s gaze, she covered her right nipple, but that revealed her mound. ‘Are all camp followers so modest?’ he wondered. ‘If a man wants to sell his turnips, he needs to set them out.’

    ‘You’ve been looking at my turnips since you came in . . . and they’re not for sale, neither.’

    run59 – I suppose I’m in for a run of 59 turnip references in the books I’m reading.

  26. 26
    Tipsy Reader says:

    Can we have a runner’s up vote? Because I’d totally vote for HS’ entry of “Nips and Tatties

  27. 27
    SonomaLass says:

    I voted for the very sexy Got Back cover. But how can one resist Nips and Tatties?

    Wv: there96. I spent three weeks in Scotland, and as usual, I was offered neeps & tatties about 96 times. (neeps is Scots for turnips, aka Swedish turnips or Swedes, known on this side of the pond as rutabagas. Fr real.)

By posting a comment, you consent to have your personally identifiable information collected and used in accordance with our privacy policy.

↑ Back to Top