Happy Valentine’s Week! Amanda and I have voicemail messages, updates on tattoos, book and lip balm recommendations, and more! Come hang out with us and nosh on all that half price candy. What candy are you buying?
Thank you to Nancy, Claudia, Jimmy, StylinsonBirds, Leslie, and Ann!
…
Music: purple-planet.com
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Here are the books we discuss in this podcast:
Images! Links! We got some!
- IG pic of Amanda’s tattoo
- AJEM tattoo
- Donut earrings
- Jordandene
- Nerdy Ink
- Superyaki
- Nursery with free mystery succulent with purchase
- Thrive Causemetics Lip Treatment
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This podcast episode is brought to you by A Letter to Three Witches by Elizabeth Bass.
Y’all, this book is pitched as Bewitched meets Practical Magic and I know someone just hit pause to go find this book.
Nearly a century ago, Gwen Engel’s great-great-grandfather cast a spell with catastrophic side-effects. As a result, the Grand Council of Witches forbade his descendants from practicing witchcraft. The Council even planted anonymous snitches called Watchers in the community to report any errant spellcasting…
Yet magic may still be alive and not so well in Zenobia. Gwen and her cousins, Trudy and Milo, receive a letter from Gwen’s adopted sister, Tannith, informing them that she’s bewitched one of their partners and will run away with him at the end of the week. While Gwen frets about whether to trust her scientist boyfriend, currently out of town on a beetle-studying trip, she’s worried that local grad student Jeremy is secretly a Watcher doing his own research.
Cousin Trudy is so stressed that she accidentally enchants her cupcakes, creating havoc among her bakery customers—and in her marriage. Perhaps it’s time the family took back control and figured out how to harness their powers. How else can Gwen decide whether her growing feelings for Jeremy are real—or the result of too many of Trudy’s cupcakes?
Witchcraft and enchanted cupcakes. Now I’m hungry! You can find A Letter to Three Witches by Elizabeth Bass wherever books are sold. Find out more at KensingtonBooks.com.
Transcript
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[music]
Sarah Wendell: Hello there! Happy Valentine’s week. Thank you for joining me. This is episode number 498 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. Amanda and I have voicemail messages, updates on tattoos, book recommendations, lip balm recommendations, and more! We are going to eat half-price candy, and we want you to come hang out with us while we do! Thank you to Nancy, Claudia, Jimmy, StylinsonBirds, Leslie, and Ann for adding such delight to this episode.
I also want to say hello and thank you as always to our Patreon community, and I have a compliment this week!
For Kara K.: The local birds are planning their spring party, and you are their inspiration. Their decorations are, unfortunately for you, made up with some of the earrings that you’ve lost, but they love them so much because they were yours.
If you would like a compliment of your own or you’d like to have a look at our Patreon, it would be lovely to have you. Every episode has a transcript because of the Patreon community. Have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches.
This episode is brought to you by A Letter to Three Witches by Elizabeth Bass! Y’all, this book is pitched as Bewitched meets Practical Magic, and I know someone just hit Pause to go find this book. Nearly a century ago, Gwen Engel’s great-great-grandfather cast a spell with catastrophic side-effects, and as a result, the Grand Council of Witches forbade his descendants from practicing witchcraft. Magic may still be alive and not so well in Zenobia. Gwen and her cousins, Trudy and Milo, receive letters from Gwen’s adopted sister, Tannith, informing them that she has bewitched one of their partners and will run away with him at the end of the week. While Gwen frets about whether to trust her scientist boyfriend, who’s currently out of town, she’s worried that local grad student Jeremy is secretly a Watcher doing his own research. Cousin Trudy is so stressed she accidentally enchants cupcakes. Perhaps it is time the family took back control and figured out how to harness their powers. Look, there’s witchcraft and there’s enchanted cupcakes – now I’m hungry. You can find A Letter to Three Witches by Elizabeth Bass wherever books are sold. Find out more at kensingtonbooks.com.
This episode is brought to you in part by Bombas. Bombas’s mission is simple: make the most comfortable clothes ever and match every item sold with an equal item donated, so when you buy Bombas you are also giving to someone in need. Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you cannot wait to put on every day. Everything they make is soft, seamless, tagless, and has a luxuriously cozy feel. There is a pair of Bombas socks for everything you do, and they come in a ton of options, like comfortable performance styles. I was so excited to receive a pair of Bombas socks as a gift. They are wonderful! They are warm and snug and perfect for hanging out and walking the dogs when it’s cold out. I also have a new merino wool, long-sleeved shirt that I absolutely adore. It is not itchy; it is warm; it is soft and so comfortable. Go to bombas.com/SARAH and get twenty percent off your first purchase. That’s B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash SARAH for twenty percent off – bombas.com/SARAH.
This episode is brought to you in part by Zocdoc. Finding a doctor when you need one is both important and a giant pain sometimes, isn’t it? You have to triangulate a provider who meets your needs with insurance coverage and location. It is a lot. It’s a lot of tabs on my browser for sure. That is why I am delighted to have found Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app that shows you doctors who are patient-reviewed, who take your insurance, and who are available when you need them! You can read up on local doctors, get verified patient reviews, and see what other real humans had to say about their visit. Go to zocdoc.com, choose a time slot, and whether you want to see the doctor in person or do a video visit, just like that you’re booked! Every month, millions of people use Zocdoc, and I’m one of them! It’s my go-to whenever I need to find and book a doctor. Go to zocdoc.com/SARAH and download the Zocdoc app for free, then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. That’s Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash SARAH – zocdoc.com/SARAH.
Wilbur would like you to know that this episode is brought to you in part by Cat Person. Cat Person is protein-packed, high-quality cat food shipped to your door! Prepare for your cat to climb up your leg to try to get some. Meal plans are fully customized and perfect for cats of all ages. There are sixteen different kinds of wet food and three different dry, and so you’ll find a combination that your cat will love. A Starter Box includes ten cups of wet food, a two-pound bag of dry food, plus an entire set of serving spoons, silicon lids, and a scooper. Wilbur, my feline sound engineer, absolutely loves this food, and he hollers at me until I give him the food. He loves the shreds most of all, but adores the dry, and after only two days of trying the new food, he demands it loudly on schedule every night. You and your cat are going to love Cat Person as much as we do. Go to catperson.com/TRASHYBOOKS and use code TRASHYBOOKS to save nearly fifty percent on your Starter Box with free shipping! That’s catperson.com/TRASHYBOOKS, code TRASHYBOOKS to get nearly fifty percent off your Starter Box with free shipping – catperson.com/TRASHYBOOKS, code TRASHYBOOKS.
This podcast episode is brought to you in part by PrettyLitter. Having a cat is wonderful: the purring, the pets, the thing where they flop over and commence relaxation. The cat litter box? Not my favorite part, especially because most cat litters can make a giant, dusty mess. My cat and I deserve a litter that works for us, not against us. That’s why I use PrettyLitter! PrettyLitter’s crystal formula is lightweight, ultra-absorbent, and long-lasting, and it is virtually dust-free and minimizes mess. Here’s the smartest part about PrettyLitter, though: the crystals change color to help detect early signs of potential illness in my cat, including urinary tract infections and kidney issues. And I learned this week that Elyse uses PrettyLitter for her four cats. PrettyLitter works for me: trapping odors, not clumping, and gives me peace of mind. That’s why I love it. You and your cat will love it too. Go to prettylitter.com and use code TRASHY to save twenty percent on your first order. That’s prettylitter.com, code TRASHY, to save twenty percent – prettylittter.com, code TRASHY.
This podcast is brought to you in part by June’s Journey, a Hidden Object Mystery game that several of you have downloaded and started playing along with me! Hello to all of the members of the SPTB Romance Club inside June’s Journey, and nice job on us getting that first place! June’s Journey is a Hidden Object murder mystery set in the roaring ‘20s. You play as June Parker, an amateur detective investigating a series of mysteries full of twists and turns around every corner. You progress through the mystery story by gathering clues found in different scenes, and you level up by building and restoring property on Orchid Island. There are so many different elements, but the heart of the game is the Hidden Object scenes where you try to find as many objects as quickly and accurately as you can. It is very easy to get caught up trying to beat my last score. I really like the puzzle challenges, but I really like how relaxing it is, and one of my favorite things to do at the end of the day now is listen to a podcast and try to beat the weekly challenges. There is a detective in all of us. Find your inner detective: download June’s Journey free today on the Apple App Store or Google Play!
All right, get your snacks, get your blankets or whatever you’re doing, let’s get to it. On with the podcast with me and Amanda and many, many of you!
[music]
Sarah: My day started off by getting out of bed, ‘cause that’s generally –
Amanda: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – what happens when the alarm goes off, and obviously I don’t sleep with my glasses on, so the floor is not in focus, and I stepped in cat barf.
Amanda: Oooh! You got lucky!
Sarah: I figure the day –
Amanda: Some –
Sarah: – can only get better from there.
Amanda: You found a lucky pile.
Sarah: Yeah, from the, if the valentine from the cat is a barf pile, my day can only go up, right?
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way!
Amanda: Happy Valentine’s Day!
Sarah: So I have to tell you, I got an email this morning from Nancy, who sent me the listing for Turner Classic Movies today, Valentine’s Day.
Amanda: Oh boy!
Sarah: All right?
Amanda: All right, what’ve you got, Nancy?
Sarah: [Laughs] She’s like, you’ve got to see this. I’m like, oh, okay!
Amanda: Whoo!
Sarah: So Anna Karenina –
Amanda: I’m sorry!
Sarah: – followed by Romeo and Juliet –
Amanda: I’m sorry!
[Laughter]
Sarah: – followed by The Way We Were –
Amanda: I’m sorry?!
Sarah: – followed by Brief Encounter, ending with Kramer vs. Kramer.
Amanda: And a special showing of Jaws.
Sarah: Yeah, exactly!
[Laughter]
Sarah: Whoever programmed this, I, I feel like whoever chose these movies for Valentine’s Day on Turner Classic Movies, like, we’re seeing inadvertently into their soul? [Laughs]
Amanda: Yeah. They’re having a rough time and they’re like, you know what? Fuck it!
Sarah: Everyone’s coming with me!
Amanda: Anna Karenina, we’re kicking it off!
Sarah: Yeah! We’re just going to, we’re just going to make it – oh, and Cleopatra? That’s in there.
Amanda: Look, nothing says romance like trains and snakes, so –
Sarah: Yeah. Dying from a poisonous asp, allegedly? Sounds great.
Amanda: Maybe they thought it was ass and they’re like, ooh, this one’s spicy!
Sarah: [Laughs]
Amanda: We’ll put it in the lineup.
Sarah: And they’re like, Cleopatra, she was hot! Let’s do it!
Amanda: [Laughs] Marc Anthony? Great singer; ladies love him. Let’s do it.
Sarah: Absolutely. He’s got that great line of jeans at Kohl’s. My older child and my younger child – I only have the two – went to the mall –
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: – yesterday. My older son came home with jeans that he bought new with rips in them.
Amanda: I love a ripped jean!
Sarah: I will never – okay, this is, this is the oldest I will probably ever sound, at least today.
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: I will never understand paying for jeans that are already ripped. I can rip my own jeans –
Amanda: I love a good ripped jean.
Sarah: – I am so good at it. If there is even the hint of a loose nail in any kind of molding, I will find it and tear open my pants. I don’t need to pay for the jeans to already have holes in them. I don’t understand.
Amanda: I like to show just a little square of thigh.
[Laughter]
Amanda: Not the whole thigh; you’ve got to pay for that. So I –
Sarah: Just the little, this little postage stamp?
Amanda: Just a little peek of – [laughs] – a little peek of thigh.
Sarah: [Laughs]
Amanda: Maybe, maybe a kneecap?
Sarah: Yeah, sure, why not?
Amanda: [Laughs] I do like ripped jeans, though. I think they look cute! Two of my three tattoos are –
Sarah: Of ripped jeans?
Amanda: – thighs. Are of ripped jeans. I have –
[Laughter]
Amanda: And I line them up so when my actual ripped jeans are there, it goes through the hole in the tattooed ripped jeans.
Sarah: [Laughs] So it’s like ripped jeans inception?
Amanda: [Laughs] Yeah.
Sarah: Peek-a-boo jeans?
Amanda: But it, I like being able to wear pants but kind of like still show my tattoos a little bit.
Sarah: Oh, I understand that part; that makes total sense!
Amanda: Yeah!
Sarah: How is your tattoo? I know you had it colored last week; how’s it doing?
Amanda: It’s itchy! It’s so itchy! I –
Sarah: [Laughs] It’s massive, too!
Amanda: It’s huge, and I just want to scratch it, and it, we’re onto the peeling phase, so it doesn’t, like, hurt. It was only, like, sore for maybe a day and a half. My artist Ashley, who will, who does not know this site exists, fantastic job. So relaxing, made me feel so comfortable. It didn’t get, like, in, like, painful-painful until like the last hour. They said they do a lot, like, the way they color?
Sarah: Uh-huh?
Amanda: ‘Cause sometimes the artist will, like, do all the color stuff and do, like, the accents and, like, specific shading at the very end, and your skin is on fire by that point.
Sarah: Right.
Amanda: But they kind of work in a circle and do it as they go along. So they don’t –
Sarah: Oh, so once they’re done with a section, they move on away from it, and they’re not going back over it.
Amanda: Yeah, for the most part, so that, like, they said they don’t like to traumatize the skin too much, and I feel like I can tell a difference?
Sarah: Yeah!
Amanda: But yeah, we’re onto the peeling phase. It’s looking really shaggy ‘cause of the dead skin that’s coming off. And so it’s itchy and peeling, and so it’s hard not to futz with it, so I keep trying to, I keep trying to put lotion on it and keep it nice and moist.
Sarah: It rubs the lotion on its skin!
Amanda: Yes. But I’m so happy with it. I’m – not to brag, but I’m going to brag – five hours was that tattoo.
Sarah: Damn! Yes, you should brag!
Amanda: – five hours!
Sarah: Five hours?
Amanda: And a few of my friends only have, like, black and white work or whatever, and I was talking to my friend Margaret and she’s like, you are a stronger woman than I. She’s like, I would have vomited. I could not do five hours. And then, like, my mom has a six-hour tattoo, and she’s like, yeah, my body started to shut down because, like, her body went into shock during her tattoo. But, like, that was nothing!
Sarah: I know you said that Tara gave you advice. What advice did she give you?
Amanda: Yesss! Bless you, Tara!
Sarah: Tara has – I don’t know if there are pictures of them online; if I can find them, I’ll put them in the show notes. Tara has –
Amanda: Tara has beautiful sleeves.
Sarah: – gorgeous sleeves, and then across her back, which I think is called a bolero?
Amanda: Ooh!
Sarah: But she has gorgeous black work on her arms, and it’s so cute: she lets her kids color them. So, like, they’ll get the markers and start coloring in her –
Amanda: It’s very cool when that happens.
Sarah: It’s super fucking adorable. But I know she has gotten really long tattoo sessions. What advice did she give you?
Amanda: Okay, so I asked Tara the morning of, and Tara sent me a bulleted list, which I appreciated.
Sarah: That sounds very much like her.
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: Was, was do an edible in there?
Amanda: Yep! Sure was!
[Laughter]
Amanda: She’s like, before I leave the house I have Advil, Tylenol, and CBD. When I get there, I immediately eat a THC gummy. So I did that.
Sarah: Yeah?
Amanda: Eat a big meal before you go, so I had a breakfast burrito and some coffee. Bring lots of snacks, especially protein and sugar, so I brought a protein bar, which I had, and a thing of, a little Tupperware of Oreos, so that’s, those are the snacks I brought. Bring extra Advil, Tylenol, CBD, and THC in case you need or want them, so I brought my little thing of gummies and Advil. I didn’t need to re-up on the gummies, but I took Advil. She’s like, comfiest clothes ever! A long tattoo session is not the time for jeans! It’s pajama time.
Sarah: Hell yeah!
Amanda: [Laughs] And then they said, make sure to stretch every so often. I found muscle pain from holding position too long sometimes the worst part of recovery. And that, all, I followed every single bit of that advice. I, I stretched; I ate; I wore comfy clothes. And yeah, I didn’t, it never felt like it was too bad. Like I said, like, the last bit of it got a little, as I call it, spicy.
Sarah: Little spicy.
Amanda: Little spicy. I’m so happy with it.
Sarah: Yay!
Amanda: Would definitely get tattooed by them again. If anyone’s local – or if you’re not local and want to travel – I believe they’re opening up their books at the end of this month!
Sarah: So you’ll send me a link and I’ll put it in the show notes?
Amanda: I will! And if, you know, it’s AJEM Tattoo, A-J-E-M Tattoo!
Sarah: Nice!
Amanda: And they tattoo in Cambridge, Mass. They’re at a new shop; the new shop is so nice and lovely. Highly recommend them!
Sarah: Awesome! Congratulations on your new tattoo!
Amanda: Thank you! I’m so pumped about it!
Sarah: I have a list of things to tell you about, and I have some voice messages from people, from New Year.
Amanda: Okay!
Sarah: So it’s, it’s never too earl-, never too late to celebrate.
My neighbor sold Girl Scout Cookies. We ordered –
Amanda: Ooh!
Sarah: – Thin Mints. They are not minty.
Amanda: They’re just thin.
Sarah: They’re just thin. I was like, these are not minty! And Adam ate one, and he’s like, no, they’re not! What’s going on? So we thought, okay, maybe it was just this sleeve, so we open the other sleeve.
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: They are just thins; they are not mint.
Amanda: So they forgot to add the mint, Sarah?
Sarah: I don’t know what is going on, but I’m like, this is weird! They’re not mint! And also, of course, the, you know, the sleeve gets smaller every year; you get fewer cookies. Like, at some point in the future –
Amanda: Oh yeah.
Sarah: – they’re going to sell Samoas, and there’s going to be like two cookies in the whole box, right?
Amanda: They look, they get like, they’re going to be like little Chiclets.
Sarah: Like the kind, like, I ordered some earrings for my younger child, and they look like little miniature doughnuts? They’re like tiny little miniature food doughnuts.
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: I got a pink frosted and then we have some jelly doughnuts coming today. But I’m like –
Amanda: That’s really cool.
Sarah: – this is what we’re going to end up with: we’re going to end up with earring-sized Girl Scout Cookies with no mint in them.
Amanda: Did you, did you get the new flavor, Adventurefuls?
Sarah: They did not have! There is a shortage in my area.
Amanda: Oh no!
Sarah: Yup.
Amanda: I got some; I was able to get some.
Sarah: Were they good?
Amanda: They’re all right!
Sarah: They’re all right?
Amanda: I wish they were a little – I know this might sound like an old person – but I wish they were –
Sarah: I mean, I just talked about how much I don’t like buying ripped jeans, so, I mean –
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: – you’re, you’re still coming in under me here.
Amanda: I wish they were a little softer.
Sarah: [Laughs]
Amanda: They’re a hard cookie.
Sarah: Well, that’s part of the adventure. It’s the adventures –
Amanda: I guess.
Sarah: – of dental work.
Amanda: Yeah. So, like, the brownie cookie was, like, rock hard!
Sarah: See –
Amanda: Which in some situations, sure.
Sarah: Yeah!
Amanda: Not for me, but –
Sarah: Yeah.
Amanda: – sometimes I want a soft cookie!
Sarah: I also have to tell you –
Amanda: Okay.
Sarah: – I might be embarking upon a very expensive hobby.
Amanda: Oh! Okay. Can I guess what the hobby is?
Sarah: Yes. I was going to say, guess what it is.
Amanda: Model trains.
Sarah: I do love miniatures, but no.
Amanda: An expensive hobby.
Sarah: I’ve already got embroidery and cross-stitch –
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: – and, and quilting.
Amanda: Quilting.
Sarah: And quilting. Finishing up another quilt right now.
Amanda: Book-, book-binding!
Sarah: Book-binding! Ooh, that would be nice. I’d get lots of good glue smells. The other day I –
Amanda: [Laughs] Get those good glue smells!
Sarah: Adam and I were trying to explain to the kids the magic of the mimeograph in class?
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: And they were like, wait, I don’t understand. The paper got you high? And we’re like, well, yeah, pretty much. This was days before Xerox. You get the mimeograph, and if it is was cold and damp you just kind of went – [sniffs].
Amanda: I don’t have that experience at all.
Sarah: Ah!
Amanda: The things I feel like the, dating myself is obviously, like, projectors. I know we still had, like, projector stuff in –
Sarah: Yeah.
Amanda: – classes. But the pencil sharpener.
Sarah: Oh!
Amanda: They had that pencil sharpener, like, drilled into the wall.
Sarah: Oh yeah.
Amanda: And, like, getting up to sharpen your pencil was just like an excuse to show out your outfit.
Sarah: Oh yeah! And just get up! Like, I –
Amanda: Yeah! Just get up –
Sarah: Just –
Amanda: – look at me; everyone pay attention to me?
Sarah: – take your pencil, break the tip off, and be like –
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: – may I sharpen my pencil? And then you just sort of take a little walk.
Amanda: And then you’re like –
Sarah: Stretch. So last fall, my younger child got a party favor at a party –
Amanda: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – and it was a little plant! It was a little pl- –
Amanda: Okay.
Sarah: – little tiny plant. I think the pot may be an inch and a half high and may be an inch wide; it is little, itty-bitty.
Amanda: Okay.
Sarah: And I am a somewhat indifferent plant parent. I have four, and three of them are the kind that you can forget to water for literal months and the plant’s like, I’m fine!
Amanda: Well, you do, you do like veggie plants!
Sarah: I do veggie plants outside, although I have given up because they never grow and I get never more than two tomatoes for all my work.
Amanda: Hmmm.
Sarah: But I have –
Amanda: Did you get two and nothing else?
Sarah: Two and nothing else; that’s it. I have a rosemary plant, because rosemary is pretty –
Amanda: Okay.
Sarah: – pretty hardy. I have two sansevierias and a pothos, and they’re very happy to be neglected. They’re like, yeah, it’s fine, whatever. Go do your thing.
Amanda: [Laughs] You’ll, you’ll remember we’re here.
Sarah: Yeah! And –
Amanda: Eventually.
Sarah: – I got this tiny plant! So I stuck it on the window sill next to the sansevieria, and I’d be like, all right, I’ll water it when – I think it’s, I think I know what this is; I don’t know what this is exactly. I’ll, I’ll just water it. So every now and again I give it water, and it’s doing its little thing. Now it’s like twice as high as the little tiny pot! It’s probably –
Amanda: Ohhh!
Sarah: – getting a little, getting a little snug, and I love –
Amanda: Wow!
Sarah: – and inside the dirt there is a tiny little baby plant! It has had a baby –
Amanda: Ohhh!
Sarah: – in its tiny little pot, and I’m like, oh shit, now it’s procreating; I’ve got to take care of it. I’ve got a mom plant and a baby plant. So I, I’m like, I think this might be a succulent; maybe it’s a succulent; pretty sure it’s a succulent. So then a new plant channel opened on a Discord that I’m on, and I’m like, hey –
Amanda: Okay.
Sarah: – do you guys know what this is? And at that moment the person who knew everything about this plant and everything I needed to do was online, and much like your bullet-pointed list from Tara, I got a bullet-pointed list: That is a pork and beans; it is a form of sedum. And I was like, well, that’s lovely! I’ll call it Beans and Baby Beans. You can pull the little –
Amanda: [baby squees]
Sarah: – little pods off, and you can just stick ‘em in dirt, and they’ll root and produce a new plant. It’s –
Amanda: Oh my God, look at how cute these little –
Sarah: Aren’t they adorable?
Amanda: They’re also called jelly bean plants.
Sarah: Yes; don’t eat them; they’re poisonous. But they are super, super cute! Oh, and the babies, the little tiny babies, they’re called pups.
Amanda: Ah!
Sarah: And I’m like, well, now I’m fucking doomed: it had a puppy. My plant had a puppy –
Amanda: Oh no!
Sarah: – now I have to take care of it! I can’t neglect it! It’s a parent! It has puppies! So I’m like, all right, I’ve got to figure out what, what kind of soil do I need? What do I need to do? And this lovely person was like, here’s a couple of books that I found really useful, so I read them over the weekend from the library digitally. I have now gone down the rabbit hole of succulent YouTube, which I can recommend for its peaceful, mellow qualities? But wow, apparently succulents are about to take over my life.
So at the beginning of this moment I just thought I would tell you, pretty soon we’re going to sign on and I’m going to be like, let me tell you about my nine and a half new plants and what I’ve named them.
Amanda: Some succulents are fucking gorgeous!
Sarah: Aren’t they beautiful?
Amanda: They’re so pretty!
Sarah: And I found this online nursery to get some soil. So I, I, basically I have to repot and propagate the little beans that I have, because it’s gotten a little stretched-out and leggy ‘cause it’s, I had it in a north window and apparently it needs more sun, so okay! Going to rearrange the little window sill, get the plants going. And I found this one nursery where for every succulent you order, you get a free one. And they come in these little –
Amanda: Oh!
Sarah: – little, little, wee, bitty, tiny pots, and I’m like –
Amanda: Oh my God.
Sarah: – this is not intimidating. It’s not like I’m getting this big, massive plant! Getting a little, itty-bitty, teeny plant! So I’m like, oh, buy one get one free? Well, you clearly know, you know how to tempt me!
Amanda: I love a bargain!
Sarah: Yeah, right? So now I’m getting soil and a plant and a free plant, and I’ve got to start figuring out what to put them in, and I was sitting on the couch last night thinking about all the things, and I was like, I have a new, expensive hobby, don’t I?
Amanda: I –
Sarah: Shit! [Laughs]
Amanda: I have to, like, come to terms with I will never be a plant person. I just, I’m too forgetful.
Sarah: That’s why I like the ones that are like, water? Yeah, it’s fine. Whatever.
Amanda: And I just, like – and I have Linus. Linus loves a plant! Linus loves –
Sarah: He is a plant.
Amanda: He loves to chew on anything that’s in a pot.
Sarah: Does he pee in them? ‘Cause one of our cats used to pee in the houseplants, and I’d be like, bro, we’ve got like four litter boxes. What are you doing?
Amanda: No, he would just chew on them. No matter where you put them, he will find a way to get there so he can just gnaw on them!
Sarah: [Gnawing noises]
Amanda: Yes!
Sarah: No, thank you.
Amanda: But –
Sarah: So now I have an expensive hobby.
Amanda: – I’m excited for your, your little pork and beans!
Sarah: I know! It had a puppy! My beans had a puppy! I’m very excited about –
Amanda: And it’s so cute.
Sarah: – it’s, it is, I will show you a picture. It is this big. It is like less than a quarter inch wide. It’s this tiny, tiny little nubbin.
Amanda: Oh my God.
Sarah: It’s adorable. Should have seen my face looking at this tiny – aw, fuck! It had a baby! [Laughs]
Amanda: Now I have to be responsible –
Sarah: Now I have a, I have to care for the, for the mom and its baby! Ah!
You want to hear a voicemail?
Amanda: Yeah, let’s do it!
Sarah: All right, hang on.
Claudia: Hi, Sarah! This is Claudia and Jimmy –
Jimmy: Hey, Sarah.
Claudia: – from South Carolina. My recommendations for authors, for YA especially, are Nic Stone. She wrote the Dear Martin book and a zillion other books that I love. She’s also done a three set of, I think it’s middle-grade for Shuri, for the Marvel Universe in book form? Angie Thomas, of course, who wrote The Hate U Give. She did a prequel to that which is called Concrete Rose, which is amazing. I’ve been lucky enough to meet both of these ladies at Y’All Fest, and they’re both amazing! I can also recommend the Diviner series? And that author has just flown out of my head! [Libby Bray] I will figure it out eventually.
But also, we buy a lot of merch, as you know, and Jordandené is one of my favorite people on Earth. She does movie quotes, book quotes, TV quotes; she’s got a whole section on V. E. Schwab, who I’m also obsessed with. Everything V. E. Schwab has written, I am obsessed with, absolutely. Nerdy Ink has some wonderful Lord of the Rings. Also has some amazing ACOTAR stuff over there, and Sarah J. Maas stuff you should definitely check out. Additionally, The Colorful Geek has some amazing shirts and pins. So these are all local – not local, but independent, female-owned businesses that we adore, and even Jimmy wears all the Jordandené shirts; he’s gotten obsessed with her, her shirts.
So that’s, those are my recommendations. Yes, they’re soft, very soft shirts, and also the Sartorial Geek is their podcast, and they do some really amazing things over there too.
So happy end of the year, Merry Hanukkah, Happy Christmas, all the wonderful holidays in between. Love you.
Amanda: I can attest to Jordandené stuff? I own a lot of stuff.
Sarah: All this time I thought it was Jor-deen, and I have been wrong!
Amanda: [Laughs] There’s an extra syllable in there.
Sarah: Yeah, I completely missed it. This is what happens when I read things instead of hearing them.
Amanda: So yeah, I have several shirts and hoodies, and then I have a mug that they did for Thor: Ragnarok, if anyone’s seen it, and the, what is the rock guy? Is it Krob? I can’t remember.
Sarah: Korg.
Amanda: Korg! And he says, piss off, ghost? And I have a –
Sarah: Piss off, ghost!
Amanda: – color-changing mug that looks black, and when you put something hot in it, it changes to white and it has, in teal, it says, Piss off, Ghost! And it has a little Pac-Man ghost –
Sarah: Aw!
Amanda: – on the side of the mug. I bought it at BEA – God rest BEA’s soul –
Sarah: Oh man.
Amanda: – and the Javits Center.
Sarah: Ohhh.
Amanda: They only had one, and I bought it.
Oh! I got new shirts – not from Jordandené. This is from a site called Super Yaki, Y-A-K-I, and they do, like, movie stuff? And I bought a replacement shirt of a shirt that I lost and I can’t seem to find anywhere, but I bought this other shirt that says – can you see it?
Sarah: Unrepentant Monster Lover! Oh, I love it!
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: I think it’s awesome, and that’s a great shade of pink!
Amanda: Thank you! But they have a lot of, like, movie ones, like they have a shirt that’s like, A Film by Nora Ephron!
Sarah: [Laughs]
Amanda: They love Brendan Fraser so much; they have a lot of Brendan Fraser shirts.
Sarah: I love Brendan Fraser! I’m ready, I’m ready for the Brendan Fraser Renaissance in whatever way he would like it to happen.
Amanda: Yes. So highly recommend Super Yaki too if you like –
Sarah: Ooh!
Amanda: – movie shirts. Their stuff is very comfortable.
Sarah: You ready for another voicemail?
Amanda: Yes!
Sarah: Let’s knock ‘em out.
StylinsonBirds: Hi! This is StylinsonBirds.
Sarah: Stylins!
StylinsonBirds: I think I might have missed the deadline, but either way I just wanted to give my wishes to New Year’s to everyone. I hope you all stay healthy and have hopefully a better year than this last year. Also, I wanted to say, like, thank you for all the time on Twitch. That was definitely a highlight of the year, ‘cause each and everybody is spending time making horrific drawings! [Laughs]
Okay, so for my book recommendations, I think this one hasn’t been reviewed yet. It’s called I’ll Be the One; it’s YA, it’s by Lyla Lee, and it’s, like, this girl who is competing for, like, to be in a K-pop show. [Laughs]
Sarah: Ooh!
StylinsonBirds: And then, finally, I have a terrible joke!
Sarah: [Gasps]
StylinsonBirds: Which is, what did the Gingerbread Man put on his butt?
Sarah: What?
StylinsonBirds: A cookie sheet!
Sarah: [Laughs]
StylinsonBirds: So again, thank you for everything, and I hope everybody has a good year of reading. Bye!
Amanda: Aw, Stylins!
Sarah: Stylins, thank you!
I felt so terrible when I found all these voicemail messages stored by Google Voice in a convenient location that I didn’t know about, thanks very much.
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: But it’s never too late for bad jokes and, and recommendations. [Squees] Thank you, Stylins!
All right, let me load up another one.
Leslie: Hi, this is Leslie. I do not have any bad jokes or anything clever to say really, but it’s been a really bad year, and the podcast and the community have been one of the bright spots in my year –
Sarah: Aw!
Leslie: – so I wanted to wish everybody a Happy New Year. I hope everybody has a very great 2022. Thank you and best wishes for everybody.
Sarah: Aw! I’m really honored to keep you company, Leslie! I hope that 2022 has started off a little bit better, and hey! If you’re listening to this the week of release, there might still be candy on sale.
Amanda: Candy!
Together: Candy!
Sarah: All right. So important question here: you’re in CVS –
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: – it’s buy one, get one –
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: – and you’re, and you’re –
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: – in the panoply of CVS candy, they have a lot.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah: What are you buying a big ol’ bag of?
Amanda: So they usually have these around Valentine’s Day and no other time –
Sarah: Important, important.
Amanda: – but, but it’s the cherry Hershey Kisses.
Sarah: I’ve never had these!
Amanda: It’s kind of like a chocolate-covered cherry in a way, where they have, like, this cherry, like, gel/cream inside a Hershey Kiss, which makes them softer – they’re not as hard, because it’s not solid – and they’re so fucking good!
Sarah: Ooh!
Amanda: But I don’t see them year round; I only see them –
Sarah: Only –
Amanda: – around Valentine’s Day.
Sarah: [Laughs] Which someone on the internet once called Pink Halloween, and I was like, yes, that’s exactly what it is!
Amanda: [Laughs] Yeah, so definitely that. I will do an, I like an assortment!
Sarah: Oh yeah!
Amanda: Some people are so sweet – I don’t know if I told you this, but at the store, one of the employees – his name’s Ben; he’s so nice – he sent me a message, and he’s like, hey, Amanda. He’s like, I know it might be, like, really weird this time because of, like, what happened with your relationship and Valentine’s Day, and I just want to make sure you’re okay, and I know things are hard and just, you know, if you want to rant or vent or whatever, just let me know.
Sarah: Aw!
Amanda: I just wanted to check in on you. [Laughs] And Ben is like ten years my junior, and I’m like, you are so sweet, you sweet little muffin!
Sarah: Oh my God, the kids are all right!
Amanda: I know! I was like – ‘cause, like, he’s given me rides home before and, like, we, like, vent and talk and –
Sarah: Yep!
Amanda: – I was like, don’t worry, I am okay. I’m trying not to think about it. I’ve got plenty of stuff to look forward to. And Valentine’s Day was never really like a big thing in my previous relationship anyway?
Sarah: No.
Amanda: So we didn’t want to deal with it, so we would just go get dinner like a couple days before or like a few days after, but it was so sweet! I was like –
Sarah: That’s adorable!
Amanda: I know! I was like, I’m buying myself candy; I’m getting my tattoo finished; I’ve got other stuff that I’m way more excited about.
Sarah: I think that’s really adorable.
Amanda: It is the sweetest, the sweetest!
Sarah: And I love how emotionally fluent and considerate some young people are. Like, aw! I didn’t know to do that until I was much older!
Amanda: [Laughs] He also messaged me on Slack one day; he’s like, I’m at work, and everyone is just annoying me –
Sarah: Yes!
Amanda: – and getting on my nerves. He was like, and I feel like you would understand that.
Sarah: My dude.
Amanda: [Laughs] And I’m like, you know I do.
Sarah: My dude, oh yes.
Amanda: And he’s like, I feel like it’d be much better if you were here. He’s like, how do you cope with these feelings? [Laughs]
Sarah: Creative, imaginary murders is a good start.
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: One more voicemail!
Ann C.: This is Ann C. I’m wishing every reader a year filled with lots of books with Happily Ever Afters. It wasn’t a book that made my year this year, but a series. I discovered Deanna Raybourn and fell in love with her Veronica Speedwell mysteries. Sorry, no bad jokes. Bye-bye!
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: Ann is like, getting in, making the rec, no jokes, gotta go, bye! I love it. And also, that’s really funny, because I think the latest Veronica Speedwell is coming out very soon, isn’t it? Yeah, fifteenth of February; it’s coming out tomorrow! It’s a Valentine’s Day, Week book this week. Yeah, The Impossible Impostor is coming out this week, so it’s available! Nice! Excellent timing!
Amanda: Ooh!
Sarah: Good, inadvertent promotional timing, yay!
Oh, I have a lip balm to tell you about.
Amanda: Okay!
Sarah: Very important. So Thrive Cosmetics sent me some samples –
Amanda: Yes!
Sarah: – including their –
Amanda: Ooh!
Sarah: – lip treatment? What is this called? Liquid balm lip treatment: I’m not sure they needed that many words? But you know how sometimes you put on, like, it has, like, one of those, like a, like a lip gloss applicator, right?
Amanda: Yeah!
Sarah: It’s got a little –
Amanda: It’s called a doe foot?
Sarah: Get the hell out of here! That’s what it’s called?
Amanda: A, a doe foot applicator?
Sarah: A doe foot applicator? All right, well, that’s very posh; way more posh than my desk deserves –
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: – but it has a doe foot applicator, and usually when I see something like that I’m like, oh, this is going to be sticky. I’m going to end up getting it on my glasses; it’s going to migrate someplace. I’m going to, like, wipe it off my face later.
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: It stays put, and it doesn’t go away, and it works really well.
Amanda: What is the likelihood that I will leave it in my jeans and put them through the wash?
Sarah: It’s kind of large.
Amanda: Okay, so it’s got to be a purse, purse balm, not a pocket balm.
Sarah: Yeah. This is a purse balm or a desk balm.
Amanda: Okay. Okay.
Sarah: ‘Cause mine, I mean, I get, I get very dry in the winter, but this is, this is perfect. Like, it’s really good stuff.
Amanda: Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. I, I love the Nivea? The Nivea balm?
Sarah: Ohhh, Nivea’s good shit.
Amanda: Yeah. And they have, like, tinted ones too?
Sarah: All right! Before we wind up, any recommendations you want to make?
Amanda: Yes, actually.
Sarah: Do tell!
Amanda: I started –
Sarah: Uh-oh.
Amanda: – the new, the new Abby Jimenez, Part of Your World. I inhaled like one hundred pages in a sitting.
Sarah: Wow!
Amanda: And I messaged Elyse, because I’m trying to think out of our reviewers, who is most likely to be reading this one or have it on their Kindle already?
Sarah: Right.
Amanda: And I was like, Elyse. Elyse has got to know about this one! And she hadn’t read it, or she didn’t have it on her Kindle. I mean, she got it –
Sarah: Yeah.
Amanda: – when I mentioned it to her, but I was like, I wanted someone to talk about this with right now!
Sarah: [Laughs]
Amanda: You’re failing me!
I’m really enjoying it, kind of like city girl/country, country boy. Age gap: she is almost ten years older than he is. The heroine comes from a family of surgeons who run this fancy hospital in, I think it’s Minnesota? And she’s an ER doctor, and her family wants to, like, continue the line, ‘cause it’s like, a Montgomery has always worked at this hospital since it was founded –
Sarah: Yeah.
Amanda: – blah-blah-blah, and she’s like, I hate this! I don’t want to do this! And then the hero lives in this small town outside of the Twin Cities. He’s like a mayor, the mayor of the town, and you find out pretty early on that, like, he has his own family lineage in the town. Like, he’s a Grant, and the Grants have always, like, lived in this town and been the mayor –
Sarah: Right.
Amanda: – and stuff like that. So they’re dealing with, like, similar family expectations but different, like, class levels?
Sarah: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: And there’s just a baby goat that wears pajamas!
Sarah: Oh well, I mean, sold!
Amanda: [Laughs] He’s taking care of a baby goat that wears pajamas. And I’m not a big small-town romance person –
Sarah: No! You, you like it when the world will end if people do or do not bone.
Amanda: Yes! So I am really enjoying it, and I haven’t finished it yet, but the small-town people don’t get, like, don’t fall into the twee category for me, which I like. They, all the secondary characters kind of like have their own, like, real problems?
Sarah: Ooh.
Amanda: But I’m enjoying it –
Sarah: Yay!
Amanda: – way more than I thought I would. Just because I’ve been kind of like a crank when it comes to reading books, and I’ve been skewing more towards like dark, darker stuff, like horror and thrillers.
Sarah: Yep.
Amanda: So I haven’t been captured by, like, a, a romance in a hot minute. But WARNING for everyone that the heroine does have a really, really, like, good in a bad way, like, good manipulative ex. Like, this guy is like –
Sarah: Skilled, you mean; he’s very skilled at manipulation.
Amanda: So skilled at gaslighting and just being a toxic asshole, and, like, he is the villain, he’s supposed to be the bad guy, but oh, he is, he’ll make your blood boil –
Sarah: He’s shitty?
Amanda: – for sure. Oh, real shitty. He is so good at being a fucking asshole. [Laughs]
Sarah: So by the end of the book you want this guy, like, set on fire.
Amanda: Yeah. Come on, Abby. Please – like, if you have a bonus scene where he gets thro-, like, if he trips and just falls into a wood chipper, please send it my way.
Sarah: [Laughs] Oops!
Amanda: Like, oh boy! But, like, yeah, if you’re, any readers are sensitive to that sort of depiction and, like –
Sarah: Yeah, heads up.
Amanda: – how, like, skilled he is at making everyone think that he’s like this charming guy while, like, like, chipping away at you?
Sarah: Yep!
Amanda: Do not read this one, because it will, it will definitely set some things off.
Sarah: It will press button, yeah.
Amanda: Ugh. Yeah, so that’s my one book that I’m reading right now that I’m loving!
Sarah: Yay!
Amanda: Are you reading anything, Sarah?
Sarah: I am reading The Trouble with White Women –
Amanda: Okay!
Sarah: – which is some light nonfiction (not light).
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: Nonfiction, but not light. Each chapter takes a piece of history and the white women who are generally associated with it, like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, that kind of thing, and then not only introduces a Black woman who was doing all of the same things alongside them and then also arguing for intersectional – although that wasn’t the word they used – intersectional feminism, and also just, just explains how history’s written by the white people, so it’s very inaccurate, and everything is in the service of white supremacy, so, like, I was reading it in the bathtub, and I was like, it’s a really good thing my Kindle’s waterproof. Having a waterproof Kindle is key, ‘cause if I, like, want to chuck it in the water, it’s like, fine, I’ll just finish it back out; it’ll be all right.
[music]
Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. Thank you to everyone for being part of this episode, and thank you to Amanda for hanging out with me. I would love to hear from you. I also want to know what candy you’re buying on sale. You can email me at [email protected].
And, as a reminder, our five hundredth episode is coming up soon, and if you would like a book recommendation or you’d like us to find you some books to read in the coming months, email us: [email protected]!
As always, I end with a truly awful joke, and I would never let you down. This one is pretty terrible; I’m very excited about it.
What do you do when your partner comes home in a white suit, covered with bee stings, and smelling like honey?
Well, you marry them, because they’re a keeper.
[Laughs] It’s so silly! Thank you to /sigurlion for this joke! Keeper! [Laughs more] Keeper.
On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. Have a great weekend, and we will see you back here next week.
Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.
And if you are looking for a daily dose of happiness and joy, don’t forget to check out Lovestruck Daily, my new daily podcast with Alisha Rai, available wherever you get your tasty podcasts.
[end of music]
This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.
@SBSara:
The sponsor book sounds like the 1949 movie A Letter to Three Wives.
And a story about Valentine’s candy:
One year when my nephew was quite small, mom got him and my niece m&ms. She asked him which color he wanted and he said “how about pink.” Spoiler alert: This bag did not have pink m&ms, but mom made sure to get him a bag of those for Valentine’s Day.
I was just thinking about how the thin mints don’t taste minty! They are not very good. It’s disappointing. I wonder if they had to change Ingredients or idk but no mint! It’s very weird.
Well, now I’m not unhappy that I didn’t order any Thin Mints!
Thanks for a fun episode.
I am so excited to hear about Part of Your World! As a Minnesotan, I knew Abby Jimenez as Food Network baking champion and the founder of Nadia Cakes, but I had NO IDEA she wrote romance!!! I’m so excited to read a romance set in my state while eating a gourmet cupcake created by the author!!!