226. End of Year Listener Email, Voicemail, and Mayhem

[music]

Sarah Wendell:  Hello, and welcome to episode number 226 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books.  I’m Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, and with me today are all of you!  I have listener email and voicemail and questions and things to answer, plus I have queued up the entire Adeste Fiddles album, so we’re going to be sampling music and hearing from you, and it’s going to be awesome.

The podcast this month is being sponsored by Elizabeth Hoyt, the New York Times bestselling author of the Maiden Lane series.  Duke of Pleasure, which is out now, is the latest Maiden Lane adventure, and it features Alf, the new Ghost of St. Giles, a female swashbuckling vigilante, and Hugh Fitzroy, the Duke of Kyle, a stern ex-soldier tasked with bringing down an evil group of aristocrats with Alf’s help.  This is a romance that has everything you need:  sword fighting, sexytimes, pants feelings, danger, passion, intrigue, and a heroine who totally kicks ass.  If you’re new to the series, you can trust reviewer Elyse at Smart Bitches – which, you totally can trust Elyse – who says, “You don’t have to read the Maiden Lane books in order, but they’re so much fun you might as well.  Your credit card might hate me, but you won’t.”  You can start binge reading today.

And speaking of things, we have an iTunes page that’s really cool:  iTunes.com/DBSA.  Latest episodes, links to books, all you need if you are an iShopper – or an iBooks and iTunes shopper?  You shop with lots of Is?

Another thing I’m going to do this episode is try not to stop myself and keep redoing things, so I’m going to flub a lot, and I hope you enjoy it.  I figured, you know, we’ll do a, we’ll do a more casual episode.

And speaking of casual, I’m going to casually introduce – how is that for transition? – my mention of our podcast Patreon.  So many people have signed on as supporters in the past few weeks – thank you so much!  You are incredibly awesome!  If you would like to get in on the fun and help support the podcast, you can have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches.  There are rewards for different contribution levels.  For as little as a dollar a month, you make a, an enormous difference in the podcast and helping me make it more and more awesome-er.  Awesomer.  More awesomer, less gossamer.  Thank you again for being podcast awesome people.

Now I already mentioned we’re doing the whole Adeste Fiddles album, or as much of it as I can fit in one episode, and I will have links to this album.  It’s about nine dollars.  It’s the best holiday music you need.  I’m not even celebrating Christmas, and I love this album so much!  Seriously, love it!  So I’m going to link to it, plus I’m going to have a link to every book we talk, and there’re a lot of books, ‘cause y’all read a lot of things, and that’s probably why you’re here!

So without any further delay, let’s get to the podcast!

[music]

Sarah:  Our first email is from Karoline [care-oh-line] – I hope I’m saying that right; if it’s Care-oh-lin, I apologize – who wanted to talk to us about the book that turned her into a romance reader.  If you are just joining us and haven’t listened far back, our two hundredth episode was all about the books that made us into romance readers, and I invited y’all to share with me what books those were, and, yeah, all, all of our TBR piles are still growing, ‘cause, well, that’s what happens when we talk about books we want to read.  So Karoline wanted to tell us about the books that turned her into a romance reader, and she says:

“I was really giving this some thought the other day when I was driving.  I think I was always a romance reader.  Even as a young kid, I would connect most strongly with the romantic storyline in whatever I was reading.  [SW:  You and me both!]  At age 9ish I was super into science fiction and blew through all of Anne McCaffrey’s Dragonriders of Pern and Harper Hall series, but for me the most interesting part was always the romantic connection between the characters.  Even Nancy Drew – what was really going on with her and Ned anyway, and why didn’t we get to see more of it?!  🙂  [SW:  You ask good questions!]  I also read these two great series about young nurses, Cherry Ames and Sue Barton.  Spoiler alert: both met cute doctors!  So at age 14 when I picked up my first Harlequin entirely by accident at my tiny local library, it felt like I had finally found where I belonged, reading-wise.  I progressed from those to Danielle Steel, and then to Jude Deveraux, and that eventually led me to Bertrice Small at like 16 at which point I was like whoa!  WTF.  After that I took a break from romance for a while.  Many years later, married with a toddler and a newborn, I met a wonderful new friend in our playgroup.  When asked for a book recommendation because I was running out of things to read while nursing the baby, she handed me J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover and was like ‘read it.  Let me know when you’re ready for the rest of the series.’  I went over to her house the next afternoon to get the rest.  That baby is 6 now and my TBR list is pretty epic.  I credit my friend with helping me return to romance reading.  She and I still meet up regularly and talk about what we are reading and introduce each other to new books.  We all need ‘that one friend’ that we can talk to about what we really like to read, and I think that for a lot of people, SBTB is that.  Which is super great.  Thanks so much for all you do.”

Sarah:  Okay, that’s a huge honor.  Thank you.  That is our goal, of course.  At least eleven years after the site was, was founded, I finally sat down, and it was like, oh, I need a mission statement, don’t I?  Everyone talks about mission statements; I should have one.  And our mission really is to connect romance readers around the world with one another and with the books they want to read, preferably at discounted prices ‘cause books are expensive.

I think that a lot of romance readers are the readers who notice the missing romantic storyline that is barely hinted at, and we look for it, and if we don’t find it, we probably imagine it or write fanfiction about it, but, yes, I am definitely that person who also looked at a story where there was even the slightest hint of sexual tension and was like, what, why, why are we, why are we investigating crime?  Couldn’t we pursue the romance part?  That would be awesome!  And that interest has led me down some very dark fanfiction hallways which I will not tell you about because they are that embarrassing!  But thank you for sharing with us what made you a romance reader, Karoline, and I hope you have a very happy holiday!

[music]

Sarah:  Our next email is from Scifigirl1986, and she has some ghost stories, so if you’re not into ghost stories or that creeps the hell out of you, you might want to skip ahead a little bit.  So:

Dear Smart Bitches,

“This morning while getting ready for work, I listened to your ghost stories episode and I loved your discussion on both your beliefs regarding ghosts and your favorite books on the subject.  Even though I am an Atheist, I do believe in the existence of ghosts and other psychic phenomena.  The way I see it, we are all just energy and as physics has taught us, energy cannot be destroyed.

“I have had a couple of experiences that make me believe that ghosts are real.  The first happened when I was 7 years old and had just moved into my grandparents’ house to take care of my dad’s stepfather after my grandmother died.  To put this into perspective, my grandmother died in January of 1993 and my family moved into the house in November of 1993.  From the moment we moved into the house, I always felt this dark energy in the living room and was reluctant to stay in that room by myself.  Even though I was 6 when she died, I did not really remember my grandmother and I don’t think I was very cognizant of how much time had passed, so when I started having nightmares around Christmas 1993, I didn’t really connect it to her, despite most of them being about that living room.  The dreams were sporadic, so I lived in constant fear of falling asleep, going so far as to pretend I was sick and needed to have some ginger ale to avoid going to bed.  By January of 1994, I was so terrified of sleeping that I would pinch myself in order to stay awake.  [SW:  Yikes!]  Of course this did not work and a few days into the new year I had what was the most terrifying nightmare of my life – so terrifying, in fact, that more than 20 years later I still remember every detail of it.  It was one of those dreams where you’re convinced that you’re awake, which made it even worse.  In the dream, I woke up, got out of bed, and woke up my parents and brother.  My parents told me to go on downstairs that they’d be down in a few minutes, so my brother and I walked to the staircase when my grandmother walked out of the living room with two giant German Shepherds at her side.  While holding the dogs at bay (they were growling and baring their teeth), she yelled at us not to go into the living room.  The dogs escaped from her hold and began to attack us when I actually woke up from the dream.  What I did not know at the time and only found out after we moved from that house 7 years later was that my grandmother had died in the living room.  At that point, I was glad to finally understand why that room freaked me out so much.”

Sarah:  [Creeped-out noise] Okay, that was chilly.  Hmm!

“The second experience was only three years ago.  After Hurricane Sandy, my mom, my brother, and I moved into my maternal grandmother’s house (we lived in her basement apartment and were unable to stay down there for almost an entire year while it was being renovated).  Since I was no longer a child, my mom figured it would be a good idea for me to stay in my Great Uncle’s former bedroom, the room in which he died in 1999.  By this time, I figured that all the stuff with the nightmares was something I’d made up and didn’t have a problem staying there.  [SW:  Oh, boy.]  It didn’t take long for me to realize how wrong I was.  That room was always cold, even in the summer months, and while I didn’t feel the same dark energy there that I had in the living room of my old house, I definitely felt a presence.  The strangest instance was when in the middle of the night about 3 months after Sandy, the television turned on all by itself and the channels started to change.  At first, I thought it was just a weird electrical issue since we’d had to replace the old electric system after the storm.  However, I quickly realized that the channels were changing the way they would had someone been trying to find something to watch.  What cinched it for me was the fact that the channels finally stopped changing when it got to the Cartoon Network, which was my Uncle Chester’s favorite channel when he was alive.  The next morning, I told my mom what happened and she told me that at about the same time, she swore there was a man standing outside of the room, but as it was the middle of the night and he was gone when she blinked, she thought it was just a trick of the light.”

Sarah:  Seriously, I hope that you sleep in rooms that were, like, just built yesterday.  Good sleep is important, and clearly you are very sensitive.  Whoa!  Creepiness!

“As for ghost-related books, I’m surprised no one mentioned the Krewe of Hunters series by Heather Graham.  Each book focuses on one member of the Krewe, which is a branch of the FBI that deals with crimes that have some sort of paranormal element that could be related to ghosts.  There was even one book that took place in Tarrytown, NY, which was at one time Sleepy Hollow.  These are not scary books, but have a very suspenseful atmosphere.  Ms. Graham also had an earlier series that involved a private detective agency that specialized in hauntings.  My favorite book in that series is Ghost Walk, which took place in New Orleans and dealt with a lot of the real ghost stories from that city, including those of Marie Laveau and the LaLaurie House.

“Another author who writes some great romances featuring ghosts is Kay Hooper.  Her Bishop/Special Crimes Unit novels often used ghosts as part of the narrative.  My favorites are Chill of Fear and Out of the Shadows, although the ghost plot line was secondary to the serial killer plot in that one.

“I know this is already really long, but I also want to make a few television show recommendations.  Both Ghost Whisperer and Medium were pretty decent shows about women who could see ghosts, and they were both based on real people.  I’m not sure about Medium, but I believe that Ghost Whisperer is still on Netflix.  Charmed also had a few episodes dealing with ghosts, but for the most part, it focused on demons.  The only current show that I can think of is Supernatural.  Like Charmed, ghosts are only a very small part of the show’s mythology, which in the case of Supernatural is based in the Judeo-Christian conception of angels and demons, although there are plenty of episodes that deal with non-religious entities, such as the Hook Man, haunted paintings, witches, and even djinns.  Some of their best ghost themed episodes are: ‘Home’ and ‘Provenance’ from season 1, ’No Exit’ and ‘Hollywood Babylon’ from season 2, ‘Ghostfacers’ from season 3, and ’The Real Ghostbusters’ from season 5.  If you guys haven’t seen this show, it is awesome and all of the 11 previous seasons (it is currently in season 12) are on Netflix.

“Thank you for doing the podcast (and the blog) and I seriously hope that you get at least another 200 episodes.”

Sarah:  Thank you!  I’m not going to record all two hundred episodes now, but I also hope for another two hundred, because doing the podcast is seriously fun.

Thank you for all of the book and television recommendations.  I have a deep-seated fear of getting started on Supernatural, partially because it’s twelve seasons and partially because my understanding is that it’s rather addictive, and I don’t really have time for another addictive hobby in my life.  I have these books that I read.  But, yeah, that’s seriously tempting.

I’m also kind of fascinated when you line them all up like that why ghosts are not as prevalent as demons.  I wonder if it’s because demons have some sort of independent motivation, or they have an autonomy that leads them to do things while ghosts are often limited by space or habit or repeating patterns?  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s a question of autonomy and interesting character, but I much prefer ghosts over, over demons.

And funny enough, I learned from Carrie recently that in the Victorian era, Christmas and ghost stories used to be very tightly wound together in Christmas traditions, so the fact that you’re telling ghost stories is pretty historically accurate if, you know, we all wanted to be Victorian, which I do not.

Thank you so much for listening and for emailing me.  It is so cool to hear what you guys thing of different episodes and to hear you tell stories responding to them.  That is the best.

I also understand that some people like to just talk out loud at the podcast like we’re all right there.  At some point I am going to have to figure out the technology and the web or power needed to do a live show where we can actually talk to people live.  That would be so rad!  But until then, thank you very much for emailing, and happy holidays to you!

[music]

Sarah:  If you are also feeling Victorian and ready for some more ghost recommendations, I have an email for you, and like I said in the intro, all of the books that I mention we put in the podcast entry at smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast, so if you’re thinking, I want to read that! and you’re driving or dyeing wool or dyeing wool while you drive, or you’re on the treadmill or walking the dogs or cooking or cleaning or doing something really cool – I understand that one of y’all has a new job in a library and you’re allowed to listen to podcasts?  Awesomeness! – either way, whatever it is that you’re doing, if you can’t write down book titles, don’t worry, we have them.

This email is from James who is emailing us – I was going to say calling, which is not the same thing – from the Florence County Library in South Carolina, which is awesome because I went to college in South Carolina at a very small women’s college that no one has ever heard of called Columbia College.  However, if you know of a young woman who’s applying to college and she might be interested in Columbia College, (a) they just dropped their tuition by ten grand, and (b) if I sign the application there’s no fee, so if you know somebody who might want to go there and they want to have a free application, email me.  I’d be happy to sign it.  Send it to me; I’ll sign it and send it back.  And I write really good letters of rec, too, you know, while I’m pimping my extremely small, single-gender alma mater that I actually really love.  Anyway, one of my very best friends from college lives in Florence, and I think it’s really cool I have an email from the Florence Library.  So, you ready for ghosts?  Here we go:

Hey, Sarah

“I’d like to recommend some books for you.

“First is Hauling Ash by Tonia Brown.

“It’s not a romance but it’s a very funny ghost comedy.  I’ll let the book description speak for itself (I’d also recommend Badass Zombie Road Trip from her as well – both hilarious):”

Sarah:  So here’s the description:

“‘When the spirit of his recently deceased uncle appears in his kitchen, lonely mortician Octavious Waldorf can only guess the ghost isn’t there just for the coffee.  His miserly uncle reveals the location of a hidden fortune with the promise of more if Otto will spread the dead man’s ashes across the Caribbean Sea.  Through a simple mistake Otto ends up with almost a million of the mafia’s money instead of his uncle’s simple few thousand.  Otto does what any desperate man would do and flees the country aboard a cruise ship headed to the Bahamas to fulfill his uncle’s last request.  With the money, his dead uncle’s ashes, and a nervous schnauzer in tow –‘“

Sarah:  This, these sentences just keep getting better!  I mean, this is awesome!  Okay, I’ll try that again!  [Laughs] All right – [clears throat] – serious face.  Okay.

“’With the money, his dead uncle’s ashes, and a nervous schnauzer in tow, Otto sets out to change his fortune and life.

“’That near million just so happens to belong to crime boss and all around bad guy Tony “Waldorf” Maloney (no relation), who happens to be on the same cruise.  Maloney isn’t interested in just getting the money back.  Along with the help of the much feared hired hit man Mr. Banjo, as well as the blonde bombshell Penny Lane, Maloney plans on squeezing the money as well as a few vital juices from Otto’s cold, dead corpse.

“’On the other end of the law, the FBI is hot on Maloney’s tail.  Special Agents Frank Wallace and Larry Lawrence aren’t sure who this Otto guy is, or how he fits into Maloney’s organization, but they don’t plan on letting either of them get away.  Maybe it’s time for the nearly retired Frank to take a much needed cruise to the Bahamas.

“’It’s a comedy noir of hilarious errors as Otto learns that sometimes money does buy happiness.’”

Sarah:  I can think of, like, five people who would love this book, and myself included.  Thank you for this one!  Now I have a few more from James:

“Now, on to the ghost romances.  I’ll just give you links to save your eyeballs from a sea of text.”

Sarah:  Why would you do that?  I live in a sea of text!  It’s very comfortable; the water is always warm.  Anyway.

“My Lord Ghost by Meredith Bond – (this is a clean romance so if you want something steamier, this isn’t it.)

“The Dead of Haggard Hall by Marie Treanor – (this is a modern gothic romance and does make a few stops in bone town)”

Sarah:  James, you are my favorite.  [Laughs]

“Spirit of the Revolution by Debbie Peterson (also recommend Spirit of the Rebellion)

“I’ll just leave it at these because I’m sure you’re getting plenty of other recommendations.

“Enjoy, Sarah!”

Sarah:  Thank you so much.  I actually have to stop recording now so I can go to my library and find out if it has copies of these copies and then order a bunch of them for friends and also my husband ‘cause this is awesome!  Thank you for this, and thank you for being a most excellent library-type book recommendation person, because those people are rare and wonderful, and I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday!

[music]

Sarah:  Our next letter comes from Regina, and she writes:

“Dear Smart Bitch Sarah,

“I am writing to you in the early hours of the morning during the aftermath of this 2016 presidential election.  I am heartbroken by the loss of all the things that could have been.  So to temper these feelings, I would like to share with you how I became a romance reader.

“I became a romance reader because of you.

“I was a freshman in college when I stumbled onto an early version of the blog.  It was funny and subversive and so female positive.  I was a longtime fantasy reader then, and I was completely intrigued by another maligned fiction genre.

“It was the HABOs that got me.  The batshit plots reminded me of half remembered pulpy fantasy novels written in the 80s.  It was also, how the community of witty and shameless ladies came together by the dozens to literally help a bitch hunt down obscure fiction.

“Your site and podcast have been a constant source of joy.  I remember spiting coffee all over my computer over The Hungry Ones clown cover-snark (it was the comment about were-clowns that really got me).”

Sarah:  [Creeped-out noise] Were-clowns.

“The first book I read was a HABO about a reclusive forest witch, Wild by Jill Barnett.  I could not get over the idea that I could read about the all too perfect magical recluse trope AND have it end happily with love (also the bit about the knight who survived being hanged was just extra).  Fantasy novels have very few satisfying romances (I spent most of my teens hunting down Robin McKinley novels).  That also happened to be around the time my library rolled out its Overdrive program.  The first book I read was Wicked Pleasures by Helen Dickson because it took place during the Victorian Era.

“I became an unstoppable romance reading monster.  Like cookie monster only with brooding vamps and aloof dukes.  I would read one a night.  I sacrificed sleep.  I had to understand the message— and the message was so different than all the fantasy novels.

“Fantasy (in general) says in times of great tragedy you go it alone, you make sacrifices, you fight for love, but you may never get the chance to fully taste it.  Romance says you deserve love no matter the tragedy, and it is there to make the struggle bearable.  Every romance novel contains the truth that women have known for centuries: we humans need love to survive and we are stronger together.

“Thank you.  Your blog has been a gift to me.  I consider all the smart bitches my secret society of lady friends.

“I am grateful you guys are always there to help a bitch out.

“Love,

“Regina”

Sarah:  I am seriously so honored.  Thank you!  The fact that the site has made people feel better is an enormous comfort because running the site and talking to everyone in the site has made me feel better, so I’m glad that it does for you as much as it does for me.

And were-clowns.  Were-clowns!  No, no, no, no, no.

I love what you have to say about the idea that romance underscores the importance of community and connection and that the things that we have in common are the most important.  I am really honored that you sent this email.  Thank you very, very much, and I hope you are reading an excellent book per night.  Get some sleep!  Sleep is important!  Sleep is really good!  It means you have more energy for reading for tomorrow!  Although, who I am talking?  I stayed up ‘til, like, midnight reading a book last night, so I’m just going to shut up, ‘cause I have no room to talk.

But thank you, and Happy Holidays to you and yours, Regina.  Thank you for being part of the site.

[music]

Sarah:  Our next email is from Alejandra:

“Hello Sarah!

“The book that made me a reader… wasn’t really a book.  See, I’m from Mexico and here (and in Hispanic countries in general) is customary for women’s magazines to publish super short novellas in their pages.  I read a lot of them, but the one that really changed things for me was one I found in a Spanish magazine called Tú when I was about 10 or so.

“I don’t remember the title of the story but the plot has stuck with me and I still love the idea of it.  It was a marriage by proxy sort of deal.  This young woman marries a friend of her parents after her parents die and leave her with nothing.  But on her way to meet with her husband she meets this other guy and falls in love with him in one day… and then he turns out to be her husband’s nephew.  It was one of the first times I remember being enthralled by a story.

“I always tried to find it again but I never could.  There is also the fact that I grew up reading Corín Tellado (Spanish author, wrote over 1000 of those magazine novellas plus some longer books and even had some of her stories turn into movies and series).  She was quite the institution in Spanish language publishing.  Even if her stories tended to be kind of the same after a while, they were still a pleasure to read.  I’m pretty sure she’s the reason why I love the Secret Baby Plot.

“For more proper romance novels, I got introduced to the genre via Lisa Kleypas’ Dreaming of You – which to this day remains my gold standard for romance books – and Cathy Maxwell’s The Lady Is Tempted (which I still own and like, Mrs. Maxwell writes such pleasant characters).

“I was about 18 the first time I read Dreaming of You and I re-read it again every year.  I even had to get a second copy because my old one was all tattered.  But I still kept it because your first book is not the kind of thing you forget.

“Cheers,

“Alejandra”

Sarah:  Pues primera, Alejandra, muchas gracias para su carta.  Mi me encanta Lisa Kleypas.  Dreaming of You es una de su, una de sus libras que no puede parar leyendo.  Si estoy leyendo una pagina, dos paginas.  [Laughs] No, nononono, yo voy a leer el libro entero porque es imposible a parar.  Tambien, nunca he oido de, de, de Corín Tellado, pero normalmente libros y historios que estan publicado in otras lenguas no estan traducido en, en ingles, y yo creo que es menos de tres por ciento que estan traducido en el mercado de los Estados Unidos.  Y tambien, pero no mis espanol esta un – [laughs] – esta lleno de errores, no  mucha tiempo para mi hablar in espanol sobre libros, pero muchas gracias, y tambien felices navidades y felice ano nuevo a ti y a tu familia.

Don’t worry; I will translate.  I love Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas, and it’s one of those books where you can’t just read one page or two pages.  No!  You pick it up, you’ve got to read the whole thing.  And it’s amazing for me to be introduced to new writers.  I’ve never heard of Corín Tellado, but I am going to try to find some, although, I have a very difficult time reading in Spanish.  It is very rare for books to be translated from Spanish into English, and I think it’s less than three percent of books that are introduced into the American market, which is a real shame ‘cause we’re missing out on good stories, apparently!  I mean, think of how many people like a secret baby plot.  But thank you very much, Alejandra, for your letter, and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and of course, excellent reading!

[music]

Sarah:  This email is from Kelsey:

“Hi Sarah,

“I’m a recent regular listener and overall big fan of all that you do.  [SW:  Well, thank you!]

“Something ‘big’ just happened to me.  It’s likely not big to anyone else but me, but I listened today to your interview with the Koch Sisters from the Ripped Bodice, which is now on my bucket list of places to go to, and I followed them on Instagram, which led to me follow all sorts of other authors and people on Instagram.  About ten minutes ago, me, a mere mortal, had a follow request from the goddess Eloisa James.  While I had a heart attack about it, I realized that there was literally no one that I could tell who would understand why that mattered so much to me.  She is one of my favorite authors, and while I’m in four book clubs and talk books all the time, I never talk about her.

“And it made me really sad and mad because the truth is, I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t tell people I read romance novels, and I’ve been in this romance novel closet for as long as I can remember.  I have hidden them in bins under my bed, put fake covers on them, and now, of course, I use an e-reader.  While I’m friends with many readers (I’m a librarian), I don’t have a real life person around me who loves romance like I do.

“Before e-readers, I would plot ways to quickly grab the romance novels from their section in Borders without lingering because who knew who would see that, and then I was even so ridiculous that I would plan my place in line so that only older women would be available to ring me out because I thought they were less likely to judge me.  I once tried to tell my mom about my reading habits and I had such a hard time getting the words out that she probably thought I was going to say I was gay or something.  When I finally got it out, it was obvious that what was earth shattering to me was not a big deal to her.  She still loves me and couldn’t care less what I read or don’t read.

“I’ve loved these books for so long, and I have never been able to talk about it comfortably with anyone for fear of shame.  I think the worst part is though, that I have done the romance genre a disservice by letting myself act like it is a dirty secret to love romance novels.

“My overall point is, I wanted to thank you for your site, your book, and your podcast, and I get a lot of strength from you and from all the other Smart Bitches out there.  I appreciate your advocacy for the genre we love, and I figure if women are brave enough to write romance novels, you all are brave enough to review them, then I certainly should be brave enough to proudly love them.  Finding your site was finding the tribe I’ve been missing all my life.  I decided tonight that I’ve had enough with hiding and embarrassment.  Anyone who gives me attitude about it can go kick rocks.  It’s time to let my inner Smart Bitch out.

“Oh, and as for the book that made me a romance reader, it was either Silver Flame by Susan Johnson (which has such a craptastic cover – the guy is totally naked and pressing his junk on her while his mullet blows in the wind) or Soaring Eagle’s Embrace by Karen Kay because I was a little obsessed with The Last of the Mohicans movie.

“Anyways, thanks for letting me ramble!

“Kelsey

“P.S.  Of course I totally accepted her request and then thought of sending her a fan girl message but decided that was a little too creepy.”

Sarah:  Okay, Kelsey, you are not alone.  This is nothing wrong with you for feeling ashamed and embarrassed about loving romance.  There is nothing to be ashamed and embarrassed about, but we as readers and as women readers of this particular genre are regularly and repeatedly informed in big and little ways that what we read is something that we should be ashamed or embarrassed about.  And it’s related to everything that’s in romance, too.  Like, we’re talking about sexuality and emotions and, as Nora Roberts says – sexuality, romance, excuse me – romance is the hat trick of easy targets, because it contains emotions, relationships, and sex.  We’re dealing with feelings and sexuality and relationships and things that generally speaking in society we’re not very comfortable talking about, so the idea that you’ve absorbed and internalized this feeling that you should be embarrassed and ashamed.  I mean, think of all the examples that you gave in your letter:  you were worried that someone would see you, you were worried that the person ringing you up at the store would judge you, you were worried that your mom might think that there was something wrong with you for loving romance.  You don’t arrive at that conclusion on your own.  You arrive at that feeling because many, many people and situations have led you to the point where you realize that if you share this about yourself with someone there’s a high probability that someone’s going to make fun of you, and who enjoys that?  Like, I don’t.  There is nothing wrong with you, and you have nothing to be ashamed about.  It is a constant message that we should be ashamed of what we love, especially if we love reading books that are about sex and have mullet blowing in the wind on the cover.  But overall, I am really glad that you wrote to me, and I’m really glad that you are such a lifelong reader, and I’m really, really glad that you have decided to let your inner Smart Bitch out.

I am most of all happy that you found us and that you found people online to talk about romance with, because every week at least, if not once a month, I get an email from someone who says, where have you been?  I had no idea there were this many romance readers.  I had no idea you were all on the Internet!  Where have you been?  To which I always think, oh, just wait!  There are so many romance communities now!  You will find the perfect one for you, and I am really glad that you have found us!  So I hope you are reading an excellent book and that no one gives you any shit for your romance, and if they do, you can send them to us.  Have a wonderful holiday, and thank you for being part of Smart Bitches.

[music]

Sarah:  Ready for our next message?  Here we go!  I hope you’re enjoying this as much as I am.  You guys are awesome.

Dear Smart Bitches,

“Thank you so much for the podcast.  It saved my sanity!  Last week Wednesday, the key card door system at work failed and began emitting a sharp beep every 5 seconds.  Of course, this happened in the middle of the night, so there were a flurry of calls and emails, with the general response being ‘Sorry, we’ll help you in the morning.’  So when I came in Wednesday morning, the five people who like to start work bright and early were already on edge, the emails from the security company said the problem was at corporate (which is two hours behind in time zones, and four hours behind in most responses), and I got to sit at the front desk right next to the door with that insistent beep every 5 seconds.  Since part of my job as the administrative assistant (aka receptionist/secretary here) is to answer the doors and phone, I don’t get to use earbuds or headphones, which all my coworkers use, like all the time.  But the exception was *magnanimously* made for me that day.  [SW:  Yay!]  I took the pair I keep for training videos, and did a quick search for something to drown out the beeping.  Three awesome podcasts and five hours after I came in, the security tech showed up and fixed the beeping by unplugging the system then plugging it back in to reset it.  [SW:  Laughs]  The angry people were relieved, the corporate people were angry, but I was delighted because I had spent my day drowning out the beep listening to your hilarious, honest, challenging, and engaging discussions about books, reading, romance genre, and all sorts of wonderful stuff.  Plus, I got a hell of a lot done.

“SO thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  This podcast is my new addiction.

“As for the book or books that made me a romance reader – it’s more of a progression of books.  Robin McKinley’s The Blue Sword is the first book I stayed up all night to read at the age of 12.  I consumed all the McKinley books I could find (all three available at my school’s library in 1996), and after failed attempts with Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, and William Thackeray, I decided that the canonical literature I was supposed to read was not my thing and began reading fantasy and science fiction.  Action, adventure and a little love story appealed, while hanging out in a drawing room sipping tea did not.

“When I was 15, on a whim I picked up a straight-up romance novel about a virgin and disreputable royalist lord during the interregnum –“

Sarah:  Interregnum.  Yes, that’s the word.  That’s a new word for my mouth.

“ – (no idea on the title or author and can’t find it anymore).  While this had the action and adventure I loved to read, the sex was so confusing that I gave up.  But, then I saw the Masterpiece Theater’s presentation of the BBC’s Persuasion and I finally got all the irony and devoured Austen’s works.  The book is still better, but that one was a great adaption.  I was gradually becoming less allergic to canonical literature (Shakespeare, Kipling, Homer) and decided to study literature in college.  Damn, are there a lot of dead, white guys you’re ‘supposed’ to read!  And little time to read anything else.

“Because I enjoy reading, discussing, and writing analyses of works, I went to grad school to study literary theory and read purportedly more diverse books and talk about them in broader ways.  Not really.  So many dead white guys and people who aren’t them trying to be them!  [SW:  Yep.]  I read lots of great things, but it wasn’t until I needed to write a 30 page paper on a book or books I was passionate about did I return to Robin McKinley and her Sunshine.  I was getting burned out on it, but wanted to read something similar so I took a chance on Laurell K. Hamilton’s Guilty Pleasures recommended in the back of my copy.  I was slacking off on school to read PNRs.  This made me realize that my academic reading had sucked a lot of the joy out of my favorite thing.  A few months later I found Katie MacAlister and Lynsay Sands (her Love is Blind was the first historical romance I ever tried) and embraced romance as my books.

“Which was one of the best things I have ever done, because a few months later it was 2008, I ran out of money for grad school, quit my job, got married, and moved with my husband from Minnesota to Myrtle Beach.  Then six months later, we moved to Alabama.  And a year and a half later, we moved back to Minnesota, but two hours away from anyone we knew.  Books, especially romance novels, helped me break the ice and meet new people when I didn’t know anyone.

“Thank you for all that you do to build this wonderful community!

“Amanda”

Sarah:  Okay, first of all, I have been the front-door-managing receptionist/secretary/administrative assistant-type person.  I have had that job and several incarnations of that job in my life, so you have my empathy.  I love that you unplugged it and plugged it back in and that fixed it, though.  [Laughs] I know so many romance readers have found their way into the genre through Robin McKinley, and it’s so cool to meet another one, and I also completely understand how going to grad school for literature can burn out your desire to read and get lost in things that are harder to get lost in when they aren’t engaging you the same way that books that you love are.  I love that you have found that books can help you connect and meet new people as you move, and I hope that right now you’re reading something awesome, that if you’re still in Minnesota you are warm, ‘cause holy hell, is it cold, and I wish you and yours a very happy holiday.  Thank you for writing to me and for being part of Smart Bitches.

[music]

Sarah:  All right, and now we’ve got a rant.  Like a good rant, right?  I love a good rant.  It’s always interesting to see what ticks people off about a book, ‘cause often it’s very different things, and then there’re some things that people rant about and I’m just, like, yes, yes, I hate that too!  Thank you for putting words to it!  ‘Cause sometimes you don’t even think about what it is until someone says it.  So are you ready?  I’m ready.  I am so ready!  All right.

Dear Sarah and the rest of the Bitches,

“Longtime site lurker and more recent podcast aficionado here.  [SW:  Greetings!]  First, a much-deserved kudos for y’all’s hard work making my day just a little bit better <insert fangirl squee here>.”

Sarah:  Now, I don’t actually have sound effects, but now I wonder what that would sound like if I had an effect.  But I’ll spare your eardrums and keep going.

“I recently started a new job that involves a dreaded commute and the podcast helps keep me sane in some seriously snarly traffic (I’m sure my fellow commuters would also say thanks if they knew how much you helped soothe the savage bad-driver-rage beast).  You mentioned to Loretta Chase that sometimes you ponder blog post topics, and this spurred me to reach out because I have a romance-related rant that I have been wanting to get off my chest for a while now.  (As an aside, given those last two sentences you now probably think I’m a perennially angry person by nature… but I’m not, I swear!)”

Sarah:  It’s totally cool, Jenni.  People think the same thing of me, and I’m actually pretty chill.  Anyway.

“First – some perhaps unnecessarily detailed rant backstory.”

Sarah:  Okay, look, no rant backstory is ever unnecessarily detailed.  Have you seen how long our reviews are?  There is no unnecessary detail that we don’t want to know about.

“I grew up on a cattle ranch.”

Sarah:  Now, seriously, why would you think we didn’t want to know that?  I totally want to know all about this now!

“I’m an animal lover – you name it, we raised it.  My parents instilled a great love of and respect for animals in me and my siblings – my first cow was named Freckles, my pet rooster Cricket (because animals should be named after other animal species, natch).  Among the menagerie, we had a bevy of hard-working (and not so hard-working) cattle dogs.  My first dog – Penny – was the most amazing cattle dog born™, and she kindled my love of doggles.  Over the years I’ve worked as a dog walker, a pet-sitter, and am currently the –“

Sarah:  – poud parent of a, excuse me, the poud pet – okay, I’m going to say this right!  I’m not even going to edit it!

“- the proud pet parent [SW:  Yes!] for two adorable dogs, a German Shepherd and a Labrador Retriever.  About seven years ago, I got involved in search and rescue work – specifically, canine wilderness search and rescue (SAR).  While my German Shepherd is not a SAR dog (one of many ‘washouts’ – not every dog is suited to this kind of work) and I would never pretend to be an experienced K9 working dog handler, I have perhaps more than a passing knowledge of the world.

“So with that in mind… cue up the rant music.”

Sarah:  You know, all of the music I’m using is, like, Christmas music.  It’s not really ranty music.  Wait, hang on.  Let me see what I’ve got here.  Hang on just a sec.

[ominous music]

Sarah:  Okay, maybe this works.  Does this work as ranty?  Okay, I think that worked.  Little creepy, little ominous.  All right, so let’s say that was our rant music for today.  Back to the letter:

“I have noticed in recent years the evolution of the pet-as-plot-moppet trope (peppet? dogget? dloppet?  I’ve got nothing, but I think the Bitchery should make this a thing).  As an adult woman who can freely and vocally admit she does not want children (and, frankly, doesn’t particularly enjoy reading about them in her sexytimes books) I applaud it.  Many of the books who embrace this trope use dogs, and why not – dogs are great for plotting purposes in that they can be used in more hilariously awkward meet-cutes than cats, rats, or hedgies of the non-were variety.  ‘Hey mom, I love this hike… ooh, an LL Bean model’s crotch!’  (Sadly, that experience didn’t turn out the way I hoped – German Shepherds rack dudes when they stuff that long-nosed snout in someone’s junk, in case you wondered.  But I digress.)

“In truth, those books are my kind of catnip.  Put any kind of dog on the cover and it’s a fight against my autobuy reflex.

“But here’s the rub: I feel an author has a duty to provide readers with some semblance of reality when they elect to include a working dog in their storyline.  Let me give you some examples.  I’m not going to name titles/authors because I’m not into pointing fingers (but if you’d like me to, I’m happy to provide them for context – I am a librarian by training, so citing sources is important):

“In the plot of Exhibit A, the heroine has seizures and has moved back home to Smalltownsville with her dog who I’ll call Petsy.  Petsy is /not/ a service dog – he has an adorable furry companion with a penchant for getting into trouble.  Note: the Americans with Disabilities Act says that service dogs are ‘dogs that are individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities’ (https://www.ada.gov/service_animals_2010.htm).  While it is true that during one scene of the book Petsy alerts when the heroine is having a seizure, please please PLEASE do not mistake this for the behavior of a trained service/working dog.  Educational lecture voice time (sorry in advance): a service dog of that kind must alert (handler lingo that means the dog indicates to you that they have done/found what they have been trained to do) consistently.  If a dog cannot complete the task they have been trained to do consistently, they are not reliable – if a wilderness SAR dog finds a person stuck in a heavily wooded part of a search area but doesn’t alert, the canine team will report to incident base that there was no hit.  This may help the incident commander make the decision to invest search resources elsewhere.  That hiker may now be in an area where people are no longer looking.  Should that dog be allowed to go back out in the field the next time someone is missing?  < /end educational moment >”

Sarah:  I don’t have music for that, sorry.

“Near the end of the story, the hero and heroine have a Big Mis and she decides to fly back to California to escape him (of course).  But wait!  She can’t leave behind Petsy!  So what does she do?  SHE PRETENDS HE IS A SERVICE DOG SO THAT SHE CAN FLY HIM IN THE CABIN OF THE AIRCRAFT.  Ok.  We’ve all read the news stories about emotional support turkeys (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2016/01/14/Delta-passenger-uses-turkey-as-emotional-support-animal/1261452807477/) and the concern over ‘fake’ service animals.  I’ll save /that/ rant for another day – my point here is that authors may enable and/or even encourage this sort of behavior with this sort of plot.  I know we can’t take everything we read in a romance novel as gospel (internal hymens, say what?).  But it took me ten seconds go Google ‘service animal’ and come up with the above link to highlight my point. 

“In Exhibit B, another contemporary by a popular author I just read, the hero is a small-town cop with a police canine.  A string of burglaries has been plaguing area medical/veterinary clinics and Hot Action Cop is doing some patrolling with his trusty pooch.  So when they come upon the burglar dashing away from the scene of the crime, HAC releases his partner in true Schutzhund style.  A blur of fur and some sharp teeth later, the bad guy is subdued.

“The only problem?  Many courts say you should warn someone so that they can have the option of giving up peacefully before you send in the canine (http://www.policeone.com/police-products/k9/k9-training/articles/6432284-K-9-announcements-Dos-and-donts/).  No biggie – HAC ain’t got time for basic police procedure!  Gyah!!  When I read that, I literally slammed the book down on my eighth of the bed in a fit of rage (the dogs like to stretch out, what can I say).

“Maybe dogs are an easy way for authors to help readers connect with a character.  I think that everyone who has a dog can appreciate their unique personalities and how they impact our lives in small and large ways.  I’m sure romance authors who write about animals love them and that their inclusion is well-intentioned.  But don’t they want to make sure the genre represents these hard-working dogs correctly?  I guess that’s the point of this whinge-fest… am I the only one who thinks this is problematic?  Am I overly concerned with nitty-gritty details (much like every forensic scientist who is forced to watch CSI cringes over the inaccuracy)?

“Ok… < /end rant >.    Maybe I’m just a nut job, but I thought that if anyone would share my frustration with absurdity of this sort, it would be you and the rest of the Bitches!  Thanks for letting me vent, and although I know it’s trite, thanks for all you do!”

Jenni

Sarah:  Okay, first of all, Jenni, no, it’s, you’re not alone in being annoyed by things like this.  Everyone has things that set them off.  I am with you on the, the faux service dog problem, not because I don’t want people to fly safely with their animals in the cabin, because I wouldn’t want to put my dog in the luggage compartment either, but because dogs that are trained service dogs know how to interact and react to situations that untrained service dogs do not, so if an untrained dog that is labeled as a service dog reacts poorly, like barking or fighting or otherwise disturbing an active service do who’s doing his job, they are all endangering the person to whom the service dog is doing the service.  I think specifically of Sassy because I listen to her and I read what she has to say on Facebook, and she has many horrible encounters with poorly trained service animals that are labeled as service animals that aren’t really service animals, ‘cause if they were really service animals they would be poorly trained, so – my adjectives are bad; sorry about that – I completely understand your frustration with this, especially as it’s something you’re passionate about.  I would really, really, really like to optimistically believe that people will not spontaneously label and dress their dogs as service animals when they are not, in fact, service animals, but I’m also cynical enough to know that that probably is true and that it happens ‘cause it costs, like, seven dollars to get a service dog vest for your dog from Amazon?  All of my animals here provide many incredibly important services.  Orville likes to edit the podcast.  If there’s a podcast editing vest for my cat, I might need to buy it, even though he would kill me for dressing him up.  Anyway, back to your point.  I completely understand your rant.  I completely understand your frustration, and I also think it’s really, really cool that you were raised on a working cattle ranch and are involved in Search and Rescue.  That’s really awesome!

I know, in case you haven’t seen, that Piper Drake has a whole series of suspense that focuses on individual characters who have dog partners.  Not, like, in the romance!  They just have dogs!  I didn’t mean that in a gross way.  I just, yeah, I clearly need a snack or something.  But anyway, I want to make sure you know about those books because you might really like them.  

And in the meantime, thank you very much for writing in, and thank you for being part of the podcast!

[music]

Sarah:  I have two more, in case you think that I’m going to be doing this for the rest of my life.  No!  No, no, no, no.  I have two more, and then I play all the music for you.

So first, an email from Erin:

Dear Smart Bitches,

“I thought I would write to share my quick story of how I became a romance reader…

“My grandparents lived in an old farmhouse with several bedrooms on the main floor and exactly one room upstairs.  This one upstairs room was where I stayed when we would go visit them.  At some point around the time I was 13 or 14 I decided to investigate the books that were on an old barrister’s bookshelf in the room.  Nestled on the same shelf as my grandfather’s medical textbooks from the 1940s was my grandmother’s collection of Kathleen Woodiwiss books.  For whatever reason I picked up So Worthy My Love first.  I was hooked pretty much from the get-go!  I would read in a chair beside the bed with one ear tuned to hear if I heard anyone start up the stairs.  At the smallest noise I would shove the book under the bed (thank goodness for bed skirts!) and pretend to be reading another book I thought my parents would think was ‘more suitable.’  Over the course of several visits I worked my way through the entire collection!

“Now I’m older, and while I recognize the problems inherent in a lot of the Woodiwiss books, I still love them for introducing me to the genre.  (Ashes in the Wind will always be my favorite – always a sucker for that trope!)

“I’ve since become more open about my reading habits and am proud to say that right before my grandmother passed away she bought us each a copy of Woodiwiss’s Everlasting so we could read it at the same time without waiting for the other person to finish.  I’ve even gotten my mother into the genre (I thought the romance reading gene had skipped a generation but turns out my mom’s just a late bloomer)!

“Thanks for taking the time to read.  I love the podcast and my TBR list is alarmingly large at this point.

“Erin”

Sarah:  I think it is so cool that you were hiding the Kathleen Woodiwiss novels under the bed skirt.  There’s something very absurdly appropriate about that!  Thank you so much for sharing the book that made you a romance reader.  I think your grandmother sounds really, really cool, and I hope that you and your mom are still trading really good recommendations.

[music]

Sarah:  Our last email comes from an international listener – although many of you could have been outside the United States; I don’t actually know.  This one actually tells me where this person’s from.  It’s really cool, and it comes with a picture, so you can check it out on the podcast entry.

Dear Sarah,

“My name is Ivana and I’m from a city called Split in a small country named Croatia on the Adriatic coast.

Sarah:  I know where Croatia is!  And zdrovo to you!

“I’m 32, single dog owner and I love romance books the likes of Kristen Ashley, Cherise Sinclair and Bethany-Kris.  I bought a condo all of my own not too long ago (yaaay!!!) and have been slowly (really, really, really slooowly) renovating it.  I’m finally in the furnishing stages and plan to move in the next week, so this was my day today while listening to the podcast.

“I have this new cool Bluetooth light bulb that is also a speaker so I was blasting my podcasts all day, and let me thank you for getting me thru the fun that is assembling Ikea furniture by myself with only a screwdriver and a hammer.

“Most of the time while I’m listening I’m weirdly always making the bed and/or cleaning the bathroom so thank you for that too 🙂

“As for the book that made me a romance reader it was more of a novella that came out in a local chick mag, and it was about a Greek tycoon – hehe – and a chick from Perth?! that gets blackmailed into marriage because her father had a huge debt.  I have no idea what it was called but I have been trying to find it for years.  It was the base for all my love of Harlequin Greek tycoons, Russian oligarchs and the like.

“Thank you for making podcasts about books so interesting and everything book related.  I never knew I’d like to know so much about library inner workings or publishing.

“Greetings from the bottom of the cardboard pile,

“Ivana”

Sarah:  Okay, first of all, your new condo looks great.  She sent a picture of her, I think it’s the living room, with, you know, all of the requisite pieces of Ikea furniture everywhere, but you have a really nice living room, and I really like the shelves.  This is, I’m going to share this picture with y’all; it’s great looking.  And I have been through the hell that is assembling Ikea furniture by myself and with another person, so I completely understand your, your feelings there.  I am really glad that we can help!  And thank you so much for writing into the podcast.  You’re awesome!

And that brings me to the end of this edition of All of You Are Brilliant and Awesome and Terribly Funny, and I Love When You Email Me.  Which is really not a good title for an episode, so I’ll have to come up with something better.  Thank you so much for all of your email and all of your messages.

If you would like to email us, [email protected] is the email address, and if you’d like to leave a message, it is 1-201-371-3272.

And I do have a question for you.  I have a question:  we are going to record our next episode with all of the Bitches where we’re going to look back at 2016 – I expect someone to use the words garbage fire – and we’re going to look ahead to 2017, so if you were thinking, I would love to leave a voicemail for Sarah and the podcast but I’m never sure what to say, I have a question for you to answer, if you are so inclined.  You can email or call, but I’m curious:  What do you want to read in 2017?  What is your romance fiction prediction – or desire, but mostly prediction?  What do you want to read, and what do you think there’s going to be a lot of next year in romance?  I am curious what you think.  We have lots of ideas, and that will be the next episode or two.  Hopefully I can convince everyone to talk – which is really not ever that hard.

So you can email us at [email protected], or you can call 201-371-3272!

This podcast has been brought to you by New York Times bestselling author Elizabeth Hoyt, author of the Maiden Lane series.  Duke of Pleasure, Hoyt’s latest Maiden Lane adventure, features Alf, who is the new Ghost of St. Giles.  She’s a female swashbuckling vigilante.  With her is Hugh Fitzroy, the Duke of Kyle, who is a stern ex-soldier tasked with bringing down an evil group of aristocrats with Alf’s help – as you do.  This is a romance that has everything you like, trust me:  sword fighting, sexytimes, pants feelings, danger, passion, intrigue, and a heroine who completely and totally kicks ass.  If you are new to the series –

Zeb:  Woof!

Sarah:  – you can trust Smart Bitches reviewer Elyse – and also Zeb, who’s barking – who says, you don’t have to read the whole series in order, but the Maiden Lane books are so much fun you might as well.  Your credit card might hate me, but you won’t.  You can start binge reading today.

The music in this episode between every letter and email is from Deviations Project’s holiday album, Adeste Fiddles, my favorite holiday album, and I really don’t have many holiday favorites, ‘cause I don’t actually celebrate Christmas, but seriously, I love this one.  I featured as many songs as I possibly could, and I will have a link to the entire album so you can buy it for your very, very own.

I will also have links to all of the books that were mentioned as well as some of the television shows, should you wish to track down a title you heard about and really want to read.  Honestly, every episode adds to my TBR pile.  It’s kind of a dangerous thing.

And if you are an iBooks or iTunes user, we have an iTunes page at iTunes.com/DBSA.  You can have a look there and find recent episodes and books that we talked about in the iBooks store.

I want to give a special thanks to the Patreon supporters who are helping me with developing topics and ideas for 2017.  Y’all have awesome ideas, and I’m super excited to plan the upcoming year.  If you’d like to get in on the fun and help support the show, you can have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches.  Every pledge makes an enormous difference, and you can support the show for as little as a dollar a month.  Thank you for all, all of you for being incredibly excellent and for helping me plan an outstanding podcast next year.

Our next episode will be all of us at the Bitches:  me, Elyse, Carrie, Amanda, and RedHeadedGirl doing our cranky, grumpy, possibly drink-y year-end wrap-up with predictions for next year, and I have been told I have to tell the story of the time I did a reading of erotic romance and literature, and that was the one my mother-in-law insisted on attending.  So I’ll probably be telling that story, which you might enjoy.

In the meantime, on behalf of everyone here, including Orville and Zeb, who’s barking at leaves, I think, we wish you the very best of reading.  Have a great weekend, and we will see you here next week!

[excellent Christmas music]