Links: Blue’s Clues, Romance Bookstores, & More

Workspace with computer, journal, books, coffee, and glasses.Welcome back, everyone! How are we feeling this Wednesday?

We’ve had a bit of a shakeup in the household and I’m putting things in spoilers as it deals with pet health.

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We took our oldest cat, Linus, to the emergency vet on Monday evening for a nosebleed. Results came back that he most likely has a tumor in his nose. We’re putting him on steroids, but the vet was clear that his expectancy is months if he reacts well to the steroids and weeks if not.

While he’s nearly eighteen, this wasn’t what we expected to hear. Linus is also the first pet I had as an adult, so impending pet loss and arrangements are new to me. We also think our pets are going to live forever.

The initial shock and frequent crying has tapered off a bit, but this is uncharted territory for me.

For those who have been in a similar situation, please share your wisdom! Because wow, it sucks.

If you want to put your comments in a spoiler tag, you’ll want to put your comments between these tags and remove the asterisks. [*spoiler]text goes here[*/spoiler] If it isn’t working, don’t worry. I can fix it on my end!

Georgia shared this link on England’s first romance-only bookstore. If any of you make a trip to Saucy Books, please report back!

I’m loving this trend of people showing off their partner’s hobbies on social media with aggressive support.

This link comes from K, who shared this talented craftsman addressing comments on masculinity.

If you didn’t hear, Steve Burns from Blue’s Clues is launching a podcast!

Don’t forget to share what cool or interesting things you’ve seen, read, or listened to this week! And if you have anything you think we’d like to post on a future Wednesday Links, send it my way!

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  1. HeatherS says:

    Legit, dealing with the shorter lifespans of pets is SO hard.

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    Three of my four cats passed anywhere between 12.5 and 16 years old, almost all I’d had since they were kittens, and in most cases I didn’t know why they were suddenly declining because I only had a part-time job at the time and couldn’t afford to do any lab work or anything. The first cat I lost was absolutely my baby boy and I loved him even more deeply than the others. The only thing that helped me was the vet telling me that sometimes euthanasia is the last loving gift we can give them and that we’ll know when it’s time because they will tell us. It devastated me every time I had to make that decision, but I found it to be true – I got some peace of mind from knowing that they weren’t suffering anymore; I had loved them enough to let them go when they told me it was time.

    Hugs to you.

  2. @SB Sarah says:

    Oh, gosh, same here. We’ve said goodbye to eight pets, and only one has decided to be in control of their departure. It’s so hard that their lives are a fraction of ours.

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    You’re totally right, Heather: Euthanasia really is the last loving gift you can give a pet who wants nothing more than to be with you. When we said goodbye to our dog Zeb two years ago, our vet gave him chocolate, because dogs should experience chocolate once in their lives. All our pets that we’ve euthanized exited hearing and feeling how much we love them, and it’s hard every time.

  3. Kolforin says:

    Sorry to hear that! I don’t have any wisdom, but I live with an old cat.

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    It’s 17 years old and definitely showing its age. I think it has a thyroid problem, but the owners can’t afford vet bills (and neither can I). It’s going to be sad when it passes but it’s also sad now.
  4. Jess says:

    Coming out of my lurker cave because while I don’t necessarily have any wisdom to share I do have a whole lot of empathy.

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    I lost my soul cat Lolo a few months ago and I still miss him every day. Then, last month, Lolo’s best cat bud, Cow, was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. It’s been a rough, rough time. My heart goes out to you and your partner. This is truly the hardest part of being a pet parent.
  5. SusanE says:

    My heart goes out to you.

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    I’ve had to do it seven times (all elderly cats) and it never gets any easier. For some of them I wondered if I waited too long, but I have never worried that I did it too soon. It really is a gift for them.
  6. Susan/DC says:

    We should all be grateful for the vets who provide love and support at the end of our pets’ lives. When our 18 year old dog, Ruben, had an infection he couldn’t fight, it was the vet who said “It is no longer a kindness to keep this animal alive”. That gave us permission to let him ease into the next stage of his existence, with my oldest son and I nearby to tell him we loved and would miss him. But due to the vet’s words, we had no guilt about our decision.

  7. Kate says:

    It’s the one part of pet parenthood that never really gets easier.

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    For the steroids, understand that they work until they don’t and it varies from pet to pet when that point occurs. You may want to consider investigating animal hospice care. It can help frame the conversation around “good days” versus “bad days” and how to proceed when there are more bad days. Not to be morbid but now is also the time to start thinking about funeral arrangements (at-home burial vs cremation; cremation will either be individual or group) because when the time comes, you will be asked for that information. There are different costs associated with your choices. Remember to be kind to yourself because this aspect of pet parenthood sucks but you always gain a bit more perspective for the next time.
  8. flchen1 says:

    Just sending love and hugs. Glad you and your pets have enjoyed much wonderful time together. I’m sorry when we are reminded of our and their mortality.

  9. Kareni says:

    Sending good wishes for Linus, you, and your partner, Amanda.

  10. Melanie says:

    I have no real advice, just hugs.

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    I’ve had to have two elderly cats euthanized, and it is always hard.
  11. Scrunchie says:
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    I’m so sorry. We’re going through the exact same thing (elderly cat with a nasal tumor) and it’s really tough. Something we’ve done now that I wish we had done sooner was fine a vet who does home visits and specializes in palliative care. It’s not cheap, but it means that the kitty can have adjustments to her meds without a car trip (which she hates). Also, if appetite is ever an issue, mirtazipine cream is amazing.
  12. LadyVox says:

    I’m so sorry, Amanda.

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    In 2019 my 19-year-old cat, Marco, developed a tumor in her nose. She had a lot of trouble breathing, and eventually I had to make the decision to let her go as the prednisone just wasn’t effective. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, especially since I’d lost her brother 9 months earlier. But it is true that euthanasia can be the most loving thing we do for our quadruped family members. It doesn’t help our hearts, but I’m glad you’ll have some more time with Linus.

    As for arrangements, I found my vet clinic just took care of everything.

    Sending you lots of love.

  13. Kris Bock says:

    Condolences.

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    One thing to consider in advance is what you want to do with the remains. Most vets will give you the option of having the animal cremated and mailing you the ashes later, or having them dispose of it, or you can ask for the body to take home and bury (possibly depending on size and local laws). For example, I don’t personally care about keeping ashes, but my husband does, so we get our pets cremated and choose the cheapest container option, and he orders something he actually likes for the ashes once we receive them. It may be a challenging conversation, but it’s better to do it at home when you have time to think about your options and not at the vets when you’re grieving.
  14. Lauren says:

    I’m so sorry, Amanda. Please accept a virtual hug.

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    Have been in your shoes 10 times, mostly with dogs but a couple cats too. Each time has been painful and filled with uncertainty. I can only think of a few suggestions that might help. First, try to give your sweet Linus a Yes Day while he’s still feeling good enough to really enjoy it, all the treats, all the best foods, all the catnip he can stand. We let our pittie mix girl have a Baconator from Wendys and some Hersheys Kisses. She inhaled all of it. And second, do a little research on vets who do hospice visits and in-home euthanasia. They will come to your house so that you don’t have to trudge into your vet’s office. It’s way more peaceful for both of you. Lap of Love might have a vet in your area. Find out now and call them so that you’re not scrambling in the worst possible moment and are better prepared to act. Finally, please be easy on yourself and feel whatever you need to feel.
  15. phoebec61 says:

    I am so sorry. We lost our 21 year old kitty last September. My heart still aches.

  16. Oh, Amanda, so much empathy. It is so, so hard to face this kind of news for our pets. *HUGS*

  17. stylinsonbirds says:

    Sending love to your family and extra pets for Linus

  18. Stephanie says:

    As a devoted caretaker of animals throughout my life, I sympathize with having to make hard decisions. One of the biggest changes in how I approach the end of life has been stated in other comments: home euthanasia. The vet and traveling is so stressful for animals, that, especially at the end, I think this is really important. I live in a city with numerous vets whose entire practice is at-home euthanasia, and I’ve already saved several to my address book for future reference.

  19. denise says:

    hugs.

    I learned recently there’s a romance-only bookstore in Centerville, Maryland (Eastern Shore). Haven’t been there since it would require a trip across the Bay or C&D Canal.

    https://www.romance-landia.com/

  20. ra7_78 says:
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    Our Widdison had the same thing. He was 1 month from turning 18 and he started to have some swelling by his nose. It was not bad and he wasn’t bothered by it. When it didn’t improve (and was not worse) we made a vet appointment. He turned 18, had his vet appointment and we were told he probably had a nasal tumor. At that time it started to grew more and he did get a nosebleed. I researched home euthanasia. I live in Boise (Idaho) and we have an amazing group called Gentle Goodbyes who came out to our house so we didn’t have to go to the vet. We said goodbye April 25th and I can’t speak more highly of being able to do this at home. We opted for cremation. For that there are different options (private or communal).
  21. Darlynne says:

    Wrapping my arms around all of you.

  22. Crystal F. says:

    Sending much love and tight HUGS. Losing fur babies/knowing it’s coming sucks.

  23. Jenn with 2 n's says:

    Amanda, I’m late to this, but sending you hugs and sympathy. As vet, I know how hard the decision making process can be. Lap of Love is a hospice and home euthanasia practice that has a lot of good resources on their website for assessing quality of life and helping with the decision making process.
    Also, if your vet didn’t prescribe topical steroids or decongestants (nose drops), ask about them. They can do a lot to help maintain comfort and decrease congestion. Days tolerate then surprisingly well.

  24. @Amanda says:

    @Jenn with 2 n’s: You’re spot on with your recommendations! Linus is doing well with the steroids so far and our vet suggested Laps of Love, which I think we’ll go with when the time comes for at-home euthanasia.

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