Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Melodie: My brain immediately started singing “One of these things is not like the others…” Poor guy in the back, you can tell he is just so DONE with the other three. Every single time they go to a bakery they have to do the sexy cupcake dance before ordering and he just wants to grab his coffee and muffin and go before they get banned from yet another store.
Sarah: They look somewhat ashamed, while dude in the back is like, “You see what nonsense I have to put up with?”
Amanda: The cupcakes are the boobs I’m guessing.
Elyse: I think the guy in the middle is concerned that the other two are searching for their weens.
Sarah: Is this like the Katy Perry song where she talks about bringing out the big balloons and she means her boobs?
“Bringing out the cupcakes!” has a new fun meaning
Amanda: The suit man is also Bieber-lite.
From Pam: This looks like a still from one of those sci-fi shows where the guy you’re talking to suddenly starts peeling off his meat suit and you realize he’s one of the aliens. Either that or he’s been eating too much Silly Putty.
Sarah: It really does look like he is peeling off a green skin.
Tara: If you told me this was a seal shifter romance, I’d believe you.
Shana: If you told me this was a serial killer romance, I’d believe you. The look on this alien dude’s face is chilling.
Claudia: I’m split — this is either blob-fish shifter romance or rabbit shifter romance.
Tara: Shana, maybe he’s trying to smolder us into freeing him from the shirt that he’s been trapped by.
From Emily: This one did me in. It has EMBRACED the repetitive, Photoshopped man torso by making the men in question… wait for it… ALIEN CLONES. So naturally they all have exactly the same body in exactly the same pose… but a delightful array of colors and bicep tattoos! What really put it over the top for me was the mysterious nomenclature of their names. They are the BoBs, okay. So how do we get individuals BrOdByc, ReBOrB, and BaOBy?
Sarah: I aOBm CoOBnfuBOBsed.
Lara: I think the real star of the show is the bOby with purple skin and neon green pants. He’s the one to watch!
Sarah: I know it’s denim but the highlights make those green pants look like very plush velvet.
Amanda: Now I haven’t looked at the description, but is the title supposed to be a mix of “baby” and “OB”…as in ob/gyn?
From Carole: OK the wolf isn’t buying that twisty Six Pack either.
Sarah: Did someone grab him and twist him in half like Gumby?!
Ok, please join me on a strange trip through my very odd memory. Do you remember the video for Sort of Fairytale by Tori Amos?
In it, she’s a head on a leg, and Adrian Brody is a head on a hand, and this cover makes me think he’s trying to join the world of that video.
Lara: That wolf is where his erection would be…I don’t think that’s an accidental placement.
I seriously thought the book was called Booby at first glance!
The Wolf shifter book is written by *two* authors named Wolf? Really?
I think the lucky charms guy has an emerging third arm wrapped around his torso.
@LisaM – I think the lucky charms guy has an emerging third arm wrapped around his torso.
Yikes. Now I can’t unsee that.
A coworker is urging me to read Dennis Taylor’s Bobiverse series. I’m really tempted to substitute an in-depth discussion of the Ravyn Wilde and pretend I misunderstood. “But they’re all Bobs! And clones!”
How are those “cupcakes” maintaining their lift? Anti-gravity implants?
It is Monday. And there is not enough coffee in the Universe to unsee these covers. I…uhm…I just…uhm…no words.
cover #2: Look at those nipples, then look down at his abs & tell me you don’t see a smiling shark face. There *really is* an alien under the green skin!
cover #3: Isn’t BoB an acronym for Battery operated Boyfriend? Maybe they’re not clones, just full-scale sex toys available in several colourways.
Hell of a way to start the week, I must say!
Augggh! I’ve never seen that music video before, and why was it ever MADE? Why would you put Adrien Brody in a video, and do THAT to him?
The Lucky Charms subtitle is “Doctors of Denver Mountains” and I do hope that the story is him going to the doctor for whatever is going on with his chest. That chest is just not right. I’m guessing scar tissue from a hair removal accident. Poor guy who can’t even handle a shirt shouldn’t be doing home waxing.
I was today years old when I first saw the music video for A Sort of Fairytale (a Tori Amos song I have always loved), and I have to agree with Tam – why? Why would you put Adrien Brody in a music video and have him be a weirdly photoshopped head on an arm for most of the video? For that matter, Tori Amos is a very pretty lady – why would you photoshop her head awkwardly onto a leg like that? Nice to know that by kissing they could both magically (if super creepily) grow a full body each, though.
Cupcakes: I wish we could just photoshop out all three men, leaving us with one pleasantly zaftig heroine who deserves better.
Lucky Charm: I feel neither lucky nor charmed. And the “Doctors of Blah Blah” toe tag has decidedly Unfortunate Implications: do all their patients end up in the morgue?
BaOBy: Oh, now there’s an idea. Let your cat walk across the keyboard, and the first five characters become your title. Seriously, though, I think the cover designer misunderstood. Too few fonts can be as distracting as too many. Or did they do a mockup using the publisher’s house sans-serif and forget to substitute in the real fonts? Come to think of it, the same could apply to the identical sextuplets: they forgot to swap in the six subtly different models. Maybe someone goofed and accidentally sent the designer’s first draft to the printer.
Claimed by the Wolf: Gosh, what convenient author names. I suppose Claimed by the Fox would also have worked, or for that matter Claimed by the Smith or Claimed by the Carpenter, but what if the authors had instead been surnamed Blankenship or Gilhooly? And why does it have to be A Paranormal Romance? We could have made a perfectly good series about wildlife biologists.
#1 – I just wanna skip the bosses (none of them do it for me) and get to the cupcakes. But that would be a weird title. And a short book.
#3 – Bad Warhol inspired cover?
#4 – Stretch Armstrong is so tired of being twisted around (dating myself with that reference), just leave him alone so he can hang with his wolf friend.
I really thought the guy with the green shirt was being hugged by a muppet pterodactyl or something
Does any one else see Pac-man (two actually, facing each other) on the right side of Lucky Charm? (cover #2)
The Lucky Charm guy looks a bit unintentionally entangled in his aerial silks.
Mr Lucky Charm is the prince emerging from the frog skin after the kiss.
if a cupcake is a muffin that either tried harder, with a fancy hat, or believed in miracles, etc…, then perhaps the cupcakes are not boobs, but another body part she’s not bluffin’ about.
…BaOBy?
Also, somehow I am most offended by the lack of creativity displayed on Lucky Charm’s cover. Would it have killed them to throw around a few four-leaf clovers? A horseshoe or two? A rabbit’s foot, to fit the general serial killer vibe?
Am I seeing things or is Cupcake guy on the right is grabbing his own crotch, while the one on the left looks down confused, like he’s wondering if he should grab his too
I think the director of that video really wanted an excuse to play with special effects.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
I don’t know how to nominate books for Cover Snark, but this one disturbed me:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WG9CTZQ
Lucky Charm: I couldn’t figure out if the tag attached to the title was the kind that they normally attach to a body in the morgue’s toe, or one of those “Pull this tag to inflate.”
That music video was one of the most creepy things I’ve ever seen. I can’t even……
Kelly D