Happy Cover Snark day!
Amanda: Is the gem hidden in his armpit?
Sarah: or in his bangs?
Elyse: It’s the sweet bracelet he made a sleep away camp.
Amanda: Or maybe the necklace he’s clearly hiding. He’s not very good at this game.
Sarah: Or wait, maybe it’s in his belly button?
From Karen: It’s not the cover on its own so much as its complete mismatch with the book. The book title includes the words “Sweet Clean Historical Western Mail Order Bride Inspirational Romance” and it’s clearly set in the 1800s in the West (mostly), yet that dress and those earrings are neither 19th century, western wear, nor in keeping with the covers of most inspirational romance books (strapless with beading and probably could be worn to a modern prom or a fancy party).
Sarah: “Catherine Pinkiss is a chambermaid.”
I need to step up my cleaning the house attire, then.
Elyse: That’s a prom dress.
Amanda: Maybe the Ruby Springs Brides is a pageant title.
Sneezy: I…can’t think of a single time when I was that close to the mountains and not want at least a hoodie.
Hell, it looks like wherever she is is halfway up a mountain
Tara: Are we sure that’s not a bridesmaid?
Claudia: The 1980s called and they want their dress back.
Carrie: Maybe they saw “West” and thought “Dallas” (1978-1991)
Maya: Maybe she’s dressing for the job she wants and that’s to time travel to the future and be Inara from Firefly. I’m pretty sure she’d have more fun there than in an inspie.
Carrie: I also thought she looked like Inara! Like if they made Inara into a Barbie.
Maya: oh totally! it would also explain the weird mishmash that’s happening! it’s secretly a space western!
From Alexandra: Dr. Nips looking like he’s misplaced his penis.
Lara: Is anyone else experiencing missing-penis-fatigue? At this point, I would PAY for someone to design a uniquely terrible cover.
Shana: What about the terrifying flying tarantulas? That deserves points for originality.
Wait, are those supposed to be helicopters? Nevermind.
Lara: I infinitely prefer flying tarantulas… nothing says “edgy” like flying arachnid!
EllenM: Dr Nips and his sidekick, Dr Veiny.
Amanda: Also, is the other guy SUPPOSED to be reaching into the dude’s pocket? Like “here we go again! Chad is trying to give me a handy at work.”
From Darien: Is that a pistol in your belt, or are you just happy to see me? And it looks like someone has been shopping at Pyramid collection for their role-playing clothing….
Sarah: The little wee gun is cracking me up.
Amanda: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that man’s coat at a Hot Topic ten years ago.
Tara: That green dress and red hair are giving me Jinkx Monsoon vibes, from her season on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Amanda: I can definitely see that, Tara.
Are we sure the guy on the cover of HIDDEN GEM and the guy in the forefront of HERE WE GO AGAIN aren’t the same person? Or are we heading into a golden age of apparently hairless armpit shots?
/Just for the record—and because Skye Warren is one of my favorite writers—I have to say, questionable cover aside, HIDDEN GEM is not a bad book. It’s a free prequel and it leads directly into Warren’s Diamond Trilogy.
The capitalization on “Catherine finds love” is killing me. Also, when I have a medical emergency in a war zone, what I really want is a topless doctor who’s dehydrated from training for some sort of bodybuilding/physique competition. It just adds a little je ne sais quoi to the whole situation.
So are we just gonna ignore the crime against typesetting that is Catherine Finds Love?
‘Falcon’s Angel’ looks like young Steven Seagal wooing Felicia Day while they cosplay as pirates, which is not a pairing/genre that I have ever desired. And it took me 3 looks to realize the author’s name is Judith E. French, not Judithe French. Spacing!
I searched Hidden Gem on Amazon to read the description. Besides that one there are several travel books that look great and a scary looking Christian book that uses the word “fornication” repeatedly.
Falcon’s Angel looks like she’s flinching away from his breath and/or masculine-piratey armpit odour and about to stab him because she just can’t stand it any longer.
Hidden Gem: The hidden Mystery Object is his other nipple. Duh.
Illegible Doodle finds love: Seriously, there oughta be a law. No essential information, such as a book’s title or author, may be printed in a font that raises question about what it says. Besides, the casing gives me the fantods.
Here We Go Again: Why is there a line of caltrops hovering in the air? Is he looking down to see if there are more on the ground where he is about to step? Or is he simply looking at his pile of newly shaved armpit hair? Oh, and while we’re at it, there also oughta be a law about midstream font shifts. Series title: “HERE WE GO”. Individual book title: “again”.
Falcon’s Angel: Is he ambidextrous? Please say it’s a plot point. From its position, the pistol can only be drawn with the left hand–especially since he’s already holding a sword in his right.
(I can see I am not alone. I composed this post before reading the others.)
Here We Go Again: “Did I just go? In my pants? AGAIN?”
The Ruby Springs cover would be cute for like. A time travel romance.
There’s an awful lot of time-shiftiness here today. Not only did Miss Ruby Springs leap backward by about 100 years in her pageant dress, but Falcon looks like he’s from the 80’s and his Angel looks like a flapper from the 20’s and they’re both getting swept away with the flotsam. I guess that’s what they mean when they say “Time and tide wait for no man.”
And Mr Hidden Gem reminds me a LOT of Owen Wilson.
I thought the little flying things were drones, and he was looking at where they’d dropped his Amazon delivery.
And since I clearly can’t do any visual processing today, I thought Falcon’s Angel’s hair was black, and that she’d wrapped a bright orange scarf around her head.
Vein porn. That’s all I can think when I look at the cover of Here We Go again. I could tap that vein without a tourniquet . It’s a nurse thing.
I spent way too much time trying to figure out if the second guy on Here We Go Again is wandering around a combat zone in his tighty-whities. Then I had to look the book up, and discovered he lost an arm in combat (which you can’t tell on the cover) but the doctor has enough for two. Also, it’s the second in a series.
Girl, if he’s bothering you, STAB HIM. You have the knife right there!
Maybe the hidden gem is behind the W? lol
Mail Order Bride could be a time traveling pageant queen, or if the dress was hot pink, it’s almost like the bridesmaids dresses at my wedding in ’92. And before you judge me, I let my maid-of-honor pick the dress. Blame Dawn.
Falcon’s Angel–not sure that belt is even time period accurate… Belt loops weren’t on pants till ~1922. And the gun placement–good way to shoot someone or something.
Falcon’s Angel: Next scene: “Oh, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking and my elegant lady’s derringer seems to have caught in your belt loop. Here, let me retrieve that for you.”