Recently I received an email query from Judit, and with Judit’s permission, I brought this very thoughtful question to the crew at Smart Bitches HQ (and also did some fun browsing among the stock images):
As a connector of romance readers, I have a question for you about life stages and reading changes!
I recently (two weeks ago!) had my first child and noticed something interesting happen to my reading. I am an avid reader of romance, mainly paranormal and contemporary, but all romance. But for the first 3 months I was pregnant, reading actually made me morning sick. Then for the rest of my pregnancy I could not bring myself to read a drop of romance – fantasy, scifi, thriller and horror became my reading material. Now having given birth, I once again am interested in reading romance – but slightly different genres such as historicals are now more interesting to me.
My question: I’m curious whether you or others in the Bitchery have experienced something like this – has anyone else’s reading choices changed due to a change in life circumstance or event? Perhaps after the birth or death of a loved one, family change, menopause, big move or other big life change?
Just curious, and in this time of isolation looking to hear of others’ experiences 🙂
Sending well wishes and positivity,
Judit
…
Sarah: First, mazel tov on your new baby! I hope you and yours are safe and happy and getting lots of sleep (LOL). Late night reading was something I did a lot of when my kids were newborns.
And short answer, OH HECK YES. Major life events, from childbirth to global pandemic sequestration, will change my reading tastes significantly. You’re definitely not alone! Right now, as I’ve said a few (many) times, I’m reading the Cadfael mysteries interspersed with nonfiction, as heading back to solve murder in the 1100’s is strangely comforting.
After my children were born, I stopped reading contemporaries for a while and, like you, read more historicals, especially re-reads of series I was very familiar with. All of these choices, I suspect, were because my brain was exhausted doing all the other tasks that fill a day when caring for an infant, and I wanted to turn off said brain but didn’t have the mental bandwidth to do all the construction work of starting a new series. With many historical romances, once you are familiar with the basics of the fantasy world in which they happen, a lot of the mental building is done.
I also noticed that as my children grew up, I couldn’t read much of anything with gore or violence, so while I’d been an avid paranormal reader prior to becoming pregnant, I had to take a break from violent paranormal series and from suspenseful urban fantasy, too. I’ve only recently tried urban fantasy again, and have had much better reading experiences with paranormal romances that focus on heroines with power!
I think tastes change as a matter of course, and it’s always okay to try new things with your reading material to see what your brain wants more of, especially when you’re exhausted! The terrific thing about romance as a genre is how many variations and flavors there are, and how many different ways there are to get to a happily ever after. Happiest of reading to you, and congratulations!
Lara: I find my reading comes in waves, each wave varying in both intensity and content. At the moment, I am riding a glorious wave of fantasy novels, but just a week ago, it was contemporary or nothing for me. I need a book to respond to the particular space I find myself at that exact moment. Often, I won’t finish a book, not because the book isn’t any good, but the itch it was scratching has moved or changed in some unpredictable way. For this reason, I am tremendously grateful for the breadth of the romance genre as there is always something to scratch that itch.
Sneezy: CONGRATS ON YOUR BABY!!!!! I hope you’re both happy, safe, and healthy!!!!!
I’m like Lara where the field of catnip I want to roll in can vary wildly, and I’m always looking for books that match my headspace. What Lara and Sarah said got me thinking that my tastes changing so completely and so often probably isn’t as random as I assumed it was. Well, some connections are more obvious, like being really into gender bender stories and manga when I was in junior high and high school. Without consciously thinking of it, I craved living vicariously through indomitable heroines like Alanna the Lioness succeeding in spaces that weren’t meant for women, and seeing bishonen be fabulously beautiful. I think I took a lot of comfort in seeing gender markers that kept closing off more and more of my world being stabbed and flipped off of glittering hair.
The past few years, I’ve been losing patience for books with all White casts, and I think what’s been going on in the world definitely has something to do with it. The racism didn’t surprise me, but how belligerent and flagrant a whole bunch of people were being about it was a lot. I read to play in another world or be inspired. There’s no play or inspiration in worlds bleached to kingdom come. No shame, I was an outright creep in my search of more stories.
One time, I saw a woman on the subway with a copy of N. K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season. I was going in and out of reading slumps at the time, and most of my friends weren’t readers. So naturally, I POUNCED. “Is it good? I’ve heard it’s good. Isn’t it annoying only white people survive the apocalypse? Who else have you read? GIVES ME ALL YOURS SEEECREEATSESSSS.” Okay, so I didn’t go full golem on her, but it was a close thing. She wondered if I was for real.
My aversion to gore is the only thing that remained consistent. Rain or shine, books or movies, if there’s gore, I’m OUT!!!
Aarya: I’m not sure if I’m the best person to be answering this question because I haven’t undergone many life changes/experiences. For the most part, the genres/authors I loved when I was thirteen are still the same a decade later. I still love wolves and slow-burn pining; I still dislike cowboys and love triangles. My favorite authors haven’t varied in the past decade (I’ve added to the list but haven’t detracted any). Ten years later, I’m still fangirling over Ilona Andrews, Nalini Singh, and Tessa Dare.
So while there haven’t been major shifts in my preferences, here are three minor changes over the years.
1) My refusal to read college-set romances while in college.
I don’t have a clue why I couldn’t read college-set NA while I was still in university (I don’t have this issue now). I was perfectly capable of enjoying a high school-set YA when I was in high school. I remember trying to read a Sarina Bowen college hockey romance once and then grumbling about how they weren’t spending enough time studying! I guess it’s an instance of “too close to the subject matter!” The exception to this former distaste was Easy by Tammara Webber. I really loved that book, even when I read it in college! Don’t ask me to explain my hypocrisy.
2) My dwindling interest in electoral politics after 2016.
I don’t think this needs an explanation. I’m cool with the president’s son or royals or whatever. I even like electoral politics in the background (e.g., MC is the child of the president and struggles with White House spotlight and background political infighting). I don’t like the MC as an American politician/senate staffer/lobbyist/mayor (anyone who influences policy in a significant way). It doesn’t help that my academic area of research was American political science. I admit that I’m super critical of worldbuilding flaws and errors. It’s harder to escape into fiction when you know so much about a topic. I guess I’d be okay with a Leslie Knope-type government official, but I haven’t come across any romances like that.
3) My increasing interest in contemporary romance in recent years.
This has less to do with me than with changes in the publishing industry. I never used to read contemporary romance and now it makes up more than half of my romance reading. Part of it is the quantity. Trad pub is putting out more contemporaries than ever in this rom-com boom. Part of it is that traditional publishing is acquiring more authors of color in contemporary romance (more so than in other subgenres. I don’t have the stats, but there are more AOC in contemporary compared to historical, PNR, and romantic suspense). Since I make an effort to diversify my reading, I naturally gravitate toward contemporary romance these days.
Oh, and congratulations on your baby!
What about you? Have life changes also altered your reading tastes?
I would say my mental illness has changed my reading – I read a lot less than I used to because well, reading takes up a lot of bandwidth and I often don’t have that, even with rereads of books I love. Also trauma has – CPTSD Reading Responsibly means a whole bunch of prep work – researching the content of the book to see if it’s something I should read, preparing myself in case something hits me in the face, doing the brain wrangling about feeling guilty for having to do this…so sometimes now I’m just like ‘no new book. Only Tamora Pierce or rereading fanfiction I love’
I’ve realized I tend to use reading to add something I want in my own life. So as a kid and teen, I read for adventure, things that made my world bigger. Tamora Pierce, historical fiction, even political satire that was definitely aimed at adults. As an adult with more control over my life, and also more responsibilities, I tend to look for things that will comfort me and recharge my optimism. So romance, books about women who run away to start cafes/bookstores/bakeries in small beach towns, and nonfiction about beautiful things.
100% agree. My interest in anything contemporary – fiction or non-fiction – has completely tanked during the pandemic. Sci-fi (NOT post-apocalyptic), fantasy, historical fiction: yes please and thank you.
I also agree about the desire to re-read favourites during stressful times. It’s like a cozy blanket for the soul.
I noticed immediately after my son was born I couldn’t read any book with a child in danger without skipping ahead to see if they were okay.
Now I find I have less tolerance for bad books. Life is just too short. I see no point in slogging through some “literature” that barely interests me when I could be reading something fun.
I’ve also found as I’ve gotten older my alph-hole tolerance has shrunk.
Congratulations on your baby! Hope you’re safe and well.
During the Kavanaugh hearing, I developed a profound lack of interest in the white cishet male perspective (including as romanticized by white cishet women) that continues to this day. Periods of genre abandonment aren’t unusual for me, but in the past, it’s been due to oversaturation leading to boredom rather than a real-life catalyst.
(TW referencing sexual abuse and rape)
I was thinking this just this morning, trauma always changes the genres that I can handle, and the setting. Having recently experienced sexual abuse/rape I can’t read anything with sex in it. Which is different for me as I am usually a lover of erotic fiction, contemporaries with lots of sex and crime fiction which for some reason often seems to contain sexual violence against women (and what’s that about by the way!).
I’m really wondering what I can read now! So today I’ve settled on some John Le Carré, even watching 90 day fiancé was triggering me yesterday!
Sending love to the bitchery, I’ve been reading for years but this is the first time that I’ve posted.
When my kids were very small, I mostly reread fantasy books, since i had little brain power available. Now I read almost exclusively middle grade literature. Its not too long, it deals with big issues in easy ways, its generally pretty diverse and most importantly the characters are unlikely to die/be tortured/otherwise seriously harmed, and there’s pretty much a guaranteed happy ending.
Donald Trump and #metoo really killed my interest in a lot of overly forceful dominating heroes with lots of power (never my favorite, but less so now). If he’s instantly plotting how he’s going to manipulate her into getting into bed with him, I’m out of there. I don’t care how good his grovelling is at the end, I don’t want to be in that man’s head. Insta-lust is not my favorite, but it’s not what kills it for me, it’s the bratty “It’s *mine* and I want it” attitude.
I think a lot of it too is that a genre just kind of moves on as you change too. My mom loved historical romance when I was growing up. She loved Roberta Gellis meaty type historicals with lots of detail and adventure. She’s not really into contemporary or rom com. Now she pretty much exclusively reads mysteries and historical fiction with an occasional fantasy or sci fi mixed in, but how much is those books are very hard to find now and how much is changing taste?
I think that the problem with reading anything at the moment is that you get a voice inside your head saying “why are you reading this? You should be looking at the news and worrying!” Unfortunately, this is only increasing the worry and so I’m throwing myself into reading. I can’t read anything that remotely is post apocalyptic and cosy reads aren’t gritty enough to hold my interest. I’ve started to read paranormal romance but I’m almost beyond tired of reading about the same type of main characters. I also hate that every book popular at the moment has to contain some sort of social commentary about current issues. I think that is why most of us retreat to historical romance.
I remember being overdue with my daughter and having five books on the go! A few weeks later I was expressing milk in one hand and reading the same sentence in my kindle (I forget the book) all whilst fighting tiredness, perhaps a bit too optimistic looking back.
I think the bigger surprise would be if a person’s reading tastes did not change or evolve as their life changes. I’ve always been a voracious reader and I doubt anything will ever change that—reading is my go-to comfort activity—but in the fifty-plus years I’ve been a reader, my interests and tastes have often changed. Sometimes it seems as if a reading shift takes place alongside a major life shift (falling in love, getting married, having kids, moving, starting a new job) and other times I can’t see an external reason for why I evolved away from one type of reading material and toward another. When it comes to reading, I follow where my changing interests take me and don’t try to resist it. Five years ago, the bulk of my romance reading was historical; then my interests did a 180 and now my romance reading is almost exclusively contemporary. Recently, I’ve added a few shifter romances to my reading—this is a sub-genre that never piqued my interest before, but now here we are. Remember: Unless we’re over 100 and lived through the 1918 Flu Pandemic, none of us has ever experienced the situation we’re going through today—so be kind to yourself, don’t approach reading as a chore or a task you have to perform, allow yourself to read something new, change your tastes, or DNF anything that isn’t bringing you a sense of comfort (which means different things for different readers).
I’m finding right now I lean towards comfort reading (old favourites where I know exactly what I’m getting) and tending towards crime fiction – justice enacted, the bad guys get what’s coming to them, and problems solved, read into that what you will. Also escapism. I so don’t want realism right now.
I switched from reading only MF or MMF romance to primarily MM, except for some of my favorite comfort reads & authors. I can’t pinpoint when this happened or why, but for now, I just feel happier reading mainly MM. I also used to read a lot of shapeshifter PNR & have absolutely no interest in that now.
Thank you Sarah, Smart Bitches and the Bitchery! It’s great to hear of everyone’s tastes in reading, and the thoughtful analysis of how and when those tastes have changed. It’s eye opening to me how quickly tastes can change and how fluid our preferences can be. Thank you for sharing <3
I don’t think my tastes have changed so much as become more what they always were, if that makes sense? There have always been things I liked and things I didn’t, but the things that have always bothered me bother me more now, so my tolerance is lower.
That said… the books that I read have certainly changed, which goes directly back to @Jill Q’s point. It used to be that all I read was fantasy, but about thirteen, fifteen years ago, I shifted to romance. This happened entirely because they just weren’t publishing the kind of fantasy I like anymore; there had been a shift to urban fantasy and grimdark, which I don’t really care for. I was facing a reading mass extinction.
Catherine Coulter had previously scared me off romance, but I decided to give it another try. “There’s a lot of romance,” I figured, “so I’d never run out.” It took at least three years and a lot of experimentation before I learned what romance to actually read, but this plan worked. Now they’re starting to put out fantasy that is more to my tastes again, so the fantasy/romance balance is shifting, because fantasy will always be my favourite; but there will always be more romance.
What I read within romance shifts too, as I hear about new things that sound intriguing, or discover that something that sounds intriguing isn’t executed in a way I like. But I don’t think my taste itself has changed much, so much as my awareness of things that might suit my taste.
One thing that definitely does change, though, is my balance of non-fiction to fiction. I always have a fiction track and a non-fiction track in parallel, proceed more quickly along the fiction track, and prefer non-fiction in transit, but I read more non-fiction than usual when I’m feeling better or have a specific objective in mind beyond curiosity. I read non-fiction to learn, but I read fiction to escape.
For a long time now, I’ve suspected that I don’t read fiction for quite the same reasons that much of the community seems to. A lot of things people talk about as a normal part of their reading process are foreign to me. I never have reading slumps, and I don’t choose what to read based on how I’m feeling; I just read whatever is next on my list, which is typically about three years long.
The pandemic seems to support this suspicion, because it has not affected my reading habits at all, neither in what I’m reading nor how much. I don’t read fiction as a hobby, although I enjoy it; I read it because I have to. It is my drug of choice. Since reading is already about survival and self-medication for me, I haven’t needed to change my habits to accommodate the pandemic because they were designed for this general purpose.
I’ve experienced several shifts in reading tastes based on life changes. Some I was aware of at the time, others didn’t become clear until later.
I’ve pretty much always been a genre fiction reader, and that’s held true for my 4+ decades as a reader – but the genres and sub genres have varied a lot depending on my circumstances.
In my late teens and early 20s, I read a lot of Charles de Lint and other early UF writers. Looking back, it’s pretty obvious why I connected with stories of young adults who suddenly discovered that magic was real / the world was different than they’d been taught. Moving to Chicago and trying to make a living wasn’t exactly an epic quest but it sure felt like one – no wonder I read so much UF. It was relatable but also clearly fantasy and a good escape from reality.
I taught college level art and design for 15 ish years and when I started teaching I discovered that I just couldn’t read mysteries or complicated sf/f anymore – I didn’t have the brain space to keep track of (or care about) the plots. That’s when I started reading romance almost exclusively – I needed the comfort of knowing everyone was going to be happy at the end of the book. That was probably my most dramatic shift in reading tastes and it was pretty obvious to me at the time what was changing and why.
My shift from cis straight romance to queer romance coincided with my second coming out as bi and was much less obvious at the time. I stumbled into mm romance around the same time I was figuring out that I’d accidentally bi-erased my identity. I’d realized that most everyone in my life assumed I was straight because I was married to a man (even those I’d come out to when I was in college) and it felt really uncomfortable. I did not consciously start reading mm as a way to explore different ways of being queer in the world – I just surprised myself by liking it. It was fun (much more fun than the couple of lesbian classics I’d attempted in college). M/M led me to other lgbtqia+ romances. And talking about them online helped me get more comfortable identifying as bi and led me to online queer communities. And now, 8 years later, I’m out at work and in my life and I’m almost exclusively reading queer genre fiction – right now I seem to prefer romance with a sf/f element.
@MT: We are sending you so much love and support. <3
@MT – as another survivor of sexual violence, I just want you to know that you’re not alone.
I have a couple ideas about books without sex. They’re all older mystery series.
The Cadfael Chronicles by Ellis Peters – mentioned by SBSarah. It’s a mystery series about a 12th century English monk / amateur sleuth.
The Mrs Pollifax series by Dorthy Gilman – a suburban widow in her 60s decides to sign up with the CIA. In the first book, they use her as a simple courier for a mission that goes sideways. I recently reread the first book and it held up pretty well for something published in the 60s.
@MT, sending you love and wishes for the things you need and want.
@Judit, hurray for your new tiny human!
My tastes have changed tremendously, with age, with having kids, with learning a lot about my own biases, and not just the thoughts, but the language of intersectionality and body autonomy. This site has been great for providing the language for things that I didn’t like (e.g. alpha holes) but I wouldn’t have been able to describe why. I have no room for anything that involves hurting people for plot, especially kids and women. And I’ve given up a lot of “serious literature” bc I find that SO MUCH acclaimed work is written by some white dude who tortures characters (often not white, not male) for the sake of growth, the story, and beautifully written prose. Fuck that!
My reading habits changed a lot after a year of death, sorry to be morbid. While trying to end a difficult relationship, my then boyfriend died. It was traumatic coupled with the reactions of friends (who hated him) and his equally mean and troubled family. That was followed by the not unexpected deaths of my father and a friend who battled cancer for over a decade.
That was in 1999. Since then I no longer read “lofty” books as I call literary fiction. I like books that “start happy, stay happy, and end happy” which includes mysteries (justice reasserts itself), romances, and some sf, usually paranormal with romantic elements.
When I started listening to audiobooks, I will sometimes listen to classics, mostly Victorian British literature.
Lately, I’ve vbeen attracted to nonfiction essays on feminism, intersectionality, race, and gender. This includes history. This is influenced by moving to a more diverse area and trying not to be a Karen and acting out my white fragility and privilege.
And I will not read anything where a dog or other animal is abused or worse.
My hat off to @Judit and all the rest of you who managed to keep reading after the birth of your child. My first was born too many years ago for me to admit (how can she be turning 30 if I’m only 29??), but it was the most cataclysmic experience of my life. There were other unusual things going on at the time (an international move and being thousands of miles away from family and friends), but for years, all I could manage was short mysteries. Even as my brood grew and I grew slightly less shell-shocked, mysteries remained my genre of choice, whereas previously historical fiction and romance had been all I wanted. Now an old crone, I find myself open to almost anything as long as the writing is decent and there’s something admirable in the main characters – which precludes a lot of the popular “thrillers” currently popular.
And @MT, I fervently hope that time brings an easing of your pain, with new experiences in life and books helping to fill up good space in your consciousness.
Like Lilaea amd MT my reading tastes have changed in part in response to various traumatic events, in part because of mental illness and as several other commentators have mentioned because as I became older I was less prepared to put up with things like alha holes, the dead body always being a nubile female etc. If I’m profoundly depressed I have problems reading about characters in any sort of conflict or distress, makes reading anything difficult as without some sort of conflict there isn’t much in the way of a story! I can usually return to those books when I am not so depressed.
@MT, sending strength and positive thoughts for your healing.
@MT I am just going to send you love from another survivor.
Also for me, one of the major sources of guilt I have is that I can’t read sex at all and I feel like that makes me a terrible romance reader (especially because I love OT3 triads and can’t read most of them) and terrible feminist because I’m somehow being a bad survivor. So a lot of my attempting to read things right now is difficult because I feel like I’m not reading right ugh.
Interesting discussion.
The biggest change I’ve noticed is that before I actually experienced true love with my husband I was all about the belligerent sexual tension/enemies-to-lovers romance, but after we got together I no longer enjoy that sort of thing. This may also be because around the same time my parents and an aunt and uncle of mine divorced. I just don’t find that sort of relationship as believable. These days I prefer slow burns and friends-to-lovers.
As for genres, my preference for them usually changes to what I’m also writing at the time( I’m still unpublished, but I’m always working on something ) . For instance at the moment my Projects are all historical fiction or romance so naturally that’s what I read.
@Judit, best wishes to you and your child as you grow together.
Pregnancy brought changes to my reading as I could hardly read due to feeling ill. Prior to being pregnant, I would ALWAYS finish a book that I started. After pregnancy and the birth of my child, I concluded that my reading time was too limited to spend on books that were not speaking to me.
The first time I noticed the real world influencing my reading habits was during the 2016 election. Any characters that reminded me of Trump were no goes for me. Corrupt politicians, elitist scoundrels, and narcissists were out. Contemporary enemies to lovers in which the hero was a Republican were definitely DNF’ed. (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to read one of these again, especially considering how unempathetic Republicans have become during The Great Pandemic.)
In 2017, my dad had a lot of medical issues, starting in May/June, and in September, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. I wasn’t able to concentrate on reading for long periods of time, and when I did manage it, I couldn’t handle “the dark moment” in books at all. I DNF’ed so many books that should have been homeruns for me, including The Duchess Deal, which I still haven’t finished. It wasn’t until he got his diagnosis that I was able to finish a book—Chasing Christmas Eve by Jill Shalvis.
In 2018, my dad had a stroke and I was super stressed at work. I didn’t read a thing between May and September (summers sucked for a while). The Governess Game broke my reading drought that time. (I watched a lot of Superhero shows—I think because no matter how bad it got Barry Allen, Oliver Queen, Kara Danvers, or The Legends would save the day. They took on Nazis from Planet X and won!)
Currently, I’m reading more erotic books. I devoured The Beast and Your Dad Will Do by Katee Robert this week. I also read an ARC of the new Nicola Davidson historical, which unfortunately was not a grand slam—it was maybe a triple as it was hot as fuck, but I didn’t buy the romance in such a short period of time. I reread Misadventures of a Curvy Girl and glommed Misadventures with a Professor by Sierra Simone. I haven’t read Priest because it might be too much for this former Catholic, but loved Sinner. If anyone has suggestions for steamy af books, please send them my way.
I still read a ton of romance throughout pregnancy, but during that first harrowing year, especially the exceedingly harrowing 4th trimester, I found myself reading a lot of thrillers. This was brand new to me. I love mystery, but the Mary Stewart kind. I hate goriness, but I was reading Karin Slaughter. And after that first year, I have not read thrillers since. I’ve been back to mostly historical and contemporary romances, with more erotic romance than before. I never thought about it in the context of having a kid before. It is interesting.
Take care and best wishes for your family!
To Scifigirl1986, I hope you are well in al things life has to offer. I would like to suggest the following authors for you. By all means gobble up the following….. All books by Roni Loren,Kate Douglas, Christine Feehan, Kate Pearce- House of Pleasure Series,Kate Meader and of course you really cannot go wrong with some Nora Roberts. Highly recommend The Bridal Quartet Series.Julie James Lisa Kleypas and Sarah MacLean too. Enjoy.
After college, I was so burnt out from working two jobs, I had a hard time reading anything. After I was pregnant, I stopped reading a thrillers–just too intense.
My comfort read has always been romance, contemporary and historical.
I’ve slowly been opening up to other genres again, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to thriller.
I’ve had a few times when my reading tastes changed due to life circumstances. One of the ones that stands out, like a lot of the folks here, was after I had my first child. Prior to that, I could read books that involved child endangerment or death, and it’s not that it didn’t bother me per se, but it messed with my head much more violently after my son’s birth. I remember that I was getting ready to reread a NR that I had read several times, Public Secrets. A toddler is murdered in the early part of the book, and I remember I got to that part, read it, put the book away, and haven’t picked it back up since. Some time later, I was about to reread The Stand for the God only knows how many times, got to a child death in it, and that was all she wrote. Elvis left that building and hasn’t been back since. In the same vein, I cannot watch Criminal Minds, which my husband really enjoys, because it puts in me in a bad headspace. But I can watch SVU. Yeah, I don’t understand it, either. The other one that really stands out is post-Hurricane Michael. I wrote a post for this site about some of the books that I read in the immediate aftermath, and one thing that I remember mentioning is that I tried to read a Southern Gothic horror-type book, and the descriptions of strange shapes in the night and how the trees and buildings were all twisted and spooky were exactly what I didn’t need, since I was essentially seeing that scenery every day of my life at that point. Also, if you were looking through my 2019 reading, you’d see a lot of murder-y stuff, some pretty violent fare. My guess about it is that it is how I was dealing with being stressed out and angry much of the time as I fought through various processes to get our family back in our home.
Outside forces have never changed my reading choices but personal trauma has. As a teen and in my twenties I read all the bodice rippers and alpha men romances and then life with its nasty, controlling, abusinve men, death of family members and other heart breaks have now made me very picky in what I read, especially since I just turned 50
I cannot read contemporary or biographies or horror (blood and guts type). Anything coming close to real life is a no-no. My reading is pure escapism and have to be happy. They also have to have a happily-ever-after romance – be it fantasy or Sci-fi or historical. Just dealing with real life takes everything I have – when I read I want to live vicariously in a way better world that I currently reside it.
Silly? Maybe but then who hasnt turned to a book to cope with life ne?
And, here I thought I was weird for how my reading tastes have radically changed!
I grew up reading historical romance and credit it with why I now teach college history. Except now, I’m not interested in reading any kind of historical fiction, romance or not. Possibly because it feels too much like work, or possibly because I can’t get lost in it – part of my brain remains in critical mode, waiting for the author to get something wrong or wanting to stop and look things up, see if those are real things.
After a bad breakup, I spent almost ten years either not reading romance or skipping the sex scenes if I did, sticking mostly to thrillers or mysteries or police procedurals, which I’m not interested in now at all. Way too much real-world for me now. I do real world at work and study too much about the awful things people have done and still do (my specialty is war and conflict) for real-world settings to be entertaining.
For the last five years or so, I’m back to reading at least 50% romance, but I won’t touch anything contemporary without a big dose of unreality in it. So urban fantasy or paranormal romance are fine, or it has to be pure Sci Fi or fantasy.
Since the whole virus thing started, I’m reading a ton, but it needs to be lighter or have a heavy dose of humor in it. No deep or grim epic fantasies right now. I found Debra Dunbar Imp series here (I think) and have devoured those. They’re just the right tone: funny but serious enough, with more humor and sweetness than not, and just a great deal of fun.
So interesting to see how others have changed over time, too. Fun post and comments!
I never really thought about the correlation of my reading taste changing and specific life events, this whole thread has been such an eye-opener!
I used to be super into secret baby or secret pregnancy plots, or books that showed the couple’s life after having a child. Now, after having been pregnant and going through parenting an infant and later a toddler…not so much. I felt so asexual throughout my whole pregnancy and almost a whole year after the birth that I cannot personally get into a story line where people are falling in love and having pants feelings for each other while going through those stages. It just doesn’t connect with my experience.
I also used to be really into alpha heroes but after 2016 and the #metoo movement I became a lot more educated on consent and patterns of abuse in relationships. Now I find that, if I’m reading an alpha hero, I need early and often reassurance that he understands the importance of consent and actively thinks about the nuances of power imbalance, consent, etc…and even then sometimes alpha heroes I would have loved when I was in high school now just strike me as giant jerks and I just want the heroine to realize she could find someone as cute AND who is not an a-hole.
I started reading romance about 7 years ago, and the more sex, the better. Erotic lit that was more or less soft written porn? Bring it on. I love the relation ship stuff, but I really wanted the hot and lusty. Don’t get me wrong, I love lots of types of books, both romance or other, but I actively sought out the erotic bondage stuff. I craved it. It had to be well written of course.
Now I’m going through menopause and if I read something with a in-depth sex scene, i kind-of skim it. It’s like that part of my brain has shut off, and I don’t crave it or even want to see it. I still love the relationship building stuff… and the heart warming bits are awesome. (ie hero does something really thoughtful that shows he cares and really understands the heroine even if he has trouble saying it)
I feel like maybe right before I hit menopause I wanted sex more than I got it, and sought it out in books? I am married and have a great relationship with my husband, but he’s on medication that’s sort of suppress his own sexual nature, so there have been times I felt, well, neglected through no fault of myself or my hubby?
So I mostly skip erotica unless it’s by an author I really enjoy. So I mostly skip erotica now.
@ MT, welcome and love to you.
My reading has changed a LOT but I almost think it’s been a case of opportunistic reading. I read a lot of juvenile animal-focused adventure fiction (think Jim Kjelgaard and Walter Farley) because there was a ton of that in our public library, then segued almost seamlessly to Dick Francis and Ngaio Marsh mysteries because that’s what my parents had in the house. From there I discovered romance thanks to the stash of Barbara Cartland and Harlequin novels in my grandmother’s basement.
Then I was in high school and discovered SF because there was a ton of that in the school library. Harry Harrison, Piers Anthony, Anne McCaffrey. On into college with more of that and other mysteries, going dark with Andrew Vachss and Laurell K. Hamilton (up to a point). Read every single Star Trek TOS novel (including the early ones that were basically fanfic) up to about 2015. All along reading romances.
I tend to find an author I like and read everything, then look for ‘something like X.’ Read almost exclusively historicals for a while, and recently have been on a Jordan L. Hawk + KJ Charles binge. My big life events were college, grad school, move across the country, fall in love/kick out the deadbeat BF, get married, get laid off a bunch of times. I started publishing in 2012 and have been writing a lot since 2017. Doesn’t leave as much time for reading. 🙂
@MT: Sending you masses of love and affection.
I found that after my ankle break that I had no interest in the “love heals in the after effects of trauma” subgenre. I know romance is escapism but I kept throwing books across the room and saying, “This is b—s—“.
Because of other life experiences, I can’t read books where a parent keeps the birth of a child hidden from the other parent (unless in a situation that involves abuse).
It’s definitely an intriguing question. Since birth of my son, and due to oversaturation i have love/loathe with WW2 stories. From time I left college, I began to read a lot more adult books. Prior to that, I pretty much stuck to YA. Also, am not big on fantasy whatsoever, but more historical fiction/ contemporary.