Cover Snark: Contender for Best Cover Snark Cover

Didn’t we just do a Cover Snark? Sometimes they just sneak up on me!

Ignite the Flame by Susan Griscom. A man and woman are surrounded by flames and the man appears to be booping the woman's nose with his thumb.

From Jazzlet: Why is she checking his pulse? Why are her hands so tiny? Why is he feeling her nose? Why are his hands so big? Sooo many questions.

Sarah: I envy his ability with a smoky eye and facial hair sculpting. And Jazzlet is right – the composition makes for a really confusing perspective.

Amanda: Nothing says love like a little nose boop.

Sarah: The perspective is SO WEIRD I can’t stop looking at it. Her hand is so small while his is so large.

Carrie:

 

Cowboy Defender by Carla Cassidy. An older man is helping a young blonde woman over a fence. But wait, that's not a fence. It's a gate. It has a latch.

From Deidre: He looks like her dad, giving her a push on the gate!

Amanda: And also…it’s a gate. They could just walk through it.

Sarah: Where’s the fun in THAT?!

Elyse: This is giving me flashbacks to Colton’s season of The Bachelor

Carrie: It’s Woody Harrelson! OMG, its Woody and Kelly, our favorite couple from Cheers!

On vacation at the farm!

Amanda: So..I think I’ve found one of the best snark covers.

ARE YOU READY?!

The Empath by Bonnie Vanak. The whole cover is awash in a red filter. A woman is standing behind the hero and she's ripping his shirt open, exposing his nipples. A castle is in the background with a mysterious crow in flight.

Elyse: Yikes

Carrie: She’s totally about to rip out his jugular with her teeth

However, it’s a nice change to see the guy’s bodice being ripped for once. Too bad it’s being ripped by someone who is seconds away from eating him in a not nice way.

Amanda: It looks like she’s tweaking his nips.

Sarah: And he is not enjoying it.

This is breathtaking.

In His Sights by La Bryce. A man with washboard abs is lifting up a white t-shirt to show off one nipple. A single nip.

From Gloriamarie: I don’t know about him, but I use my eyes to sight things with.

Sarah: He’s not having a hard time finding the gym, that’s for sure.

Elyse: That’s his laser nipple. Pew! Pew!

Carrie: It’s sort of off to the side making me wonder who or what is behind me?

Amanda: The shirt lift and one nip exposed is a common romance cover model position. But I have to wonder what goes into choosing the nip. Is he showing us his favorite one?

Comments are Closed

  1. Lostshadows says:

    The guy on the third cover’s expression screams “realized he needs more fiber while on the toilet” to me.

  2. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    Re THE EMPATH: nothing is sexier than a shot straight up the nostrils.

    Re COWBOY DEFENDER: I’m getting DDLG vibes…and not in a good way.

  3. PamG says:

    Re: Ignite the Flame. Is that Steve Reeves?!? And is he thinking, Mah biscuits are burnin’! Ma biscuits are burnin’!

  4. Nina says:

    Cover 1 Why is she taking his pulse?

    Cover 3 I think to dude needs a restraining order.

  5. Miss Louisa says:

    Cover 3, is that Lou Ferrigno from The Incredible Hulk TV show? She shouldn’t make him angry, she wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

  6. DonnaMarie says:

    Mild mannered Bruce Banner was dismayed to find it wasn’t just anger that brought out The Hulk.

    Do you think Lou Ferrigno knows they’re using his image?

  7. LauraL says:

    The first cover looks like the artist had aspirations of an Old Skool tribute but had a stock photo images budget. Wow. Her hands are weirdly small!

    The Cowboy Defender makes me question the threat in this romantic suspense novel. The cowboy looks like he is going to throw the cowgirl, but, worse than that, I see those rusty nails. Hope the hero and heroine have their tetanus shots!

  8. Jazzlet says:

    I forgot I sent you this, but I have the same questions, plus Nina is right, why is she taking his pulse?

    Is he the cowboy who defends her or is she the cowboy defender? What are they both looking at? Is he just about to throw her over his shoulder?

    I don’t know which of those two is the empath, but it looks like he’s fainting and she is having to drag him to safety (from the Birds of course!), but has almost run out of strength.

  9. LMC says:

    Her hands aren’t small, his hands are oddly big (better to smudge that smokey eye)

  10. Betsydub says:

    Ignite the Flames: “C’mere, hon. You got a little schmutz hanging from your nose”.

    @Carrie, re: Conchita Wurst – Oh, my… I just…
    my eyes… my brain is on fire just like the phoenix.
    Must have more information; off to Google Ms. Wurst (how have I lived the five years since this was filmed? Clearly, I HAVEN’T truly lived til now).

  11. Louise says:

    @Betsydub:
    Aaaaand… The number of Eurovision winners I can name, and will still remember tomorrow, has just doubled.
    Yowzuh.

  12. Kara B. says:

    Oh, do I have a contender for this page! Where do I send suggestions???

  13. Amanda says:

    @Kara B: You can send it through the site’s contact form!

  14. Kara B. says:

    @Amanda – thanks very much! Submitted!

  15. Zyva says:

    Last cover / “In His Sights”:

    He’s seeing with ‘the eye of the tyre.’

    (I know the expression is ‘spare tyre’ – not present – rather than existing tyre, but his muscles sure look like tyre tread.)

  16. ilex quigley says:

    True story: I once read someone criticize the great David Gandy, saying they couldn’t find him hot because his nips are weird. And now I can’t unsee it. Which is kind of heartbreaking, until I look at the rest of him.

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