Adventures in BigStock: Let’s Get Weird with Chocolate

BigStock reached out to us about featuring their portfolio in our entries, and we had so much fun exploring, we wanted to share some of our favorite images. There are some seriously talented photographers at work in stock imagery.

There’s also a lot of gold to be mined when it comes to stock photos. Every month, we’ll share with you some great, beautiful, or downright silly things we’ve come across on BigStock. Beware of plot bunnies!

This month’s theme: Getting weird with chocolate

There are two pieces of inspiration for this one. The first is that Valentine’s Day is this month and all I really care about is getting some chocolate, discounted or otherwise.

The second piece of inspo comes the “Women Laughing Alone with Salad” meme, in which Edith Zimmerman at the Hairpin and then the internet discovered this very odd niche in stock photography.

Let’s ease on into this, shall we?

Girl eating tasty browny cake with in bedroom.

Why it’s weird: Perhaps “weird” is the wrong adjective for this one. Maybe it’s more…aggressive, given that this woman is double fisting two desserts while sitting on her bedroom floor. She’s got a big ass brownie in one hand, a macaron in the other, and a take no prisoners attitude. I want to be her when I grow up.

Photo credit: Oksanabondar | BigStock

Cute young african-american woman eating chocolate in bed at home

Why it’s weird: There’s nothing overtly strange about eating chocolate in bed. We’ve all had that moment of weakness. But not only is this person wearing white, her bedding is white, too. This is giving me some serious stress. I guarantee you if I did that, a crumb or two of that chocolate bar would wind up in my sheets. Forgotten, it would warm up when I next snuggled into bed, and I’d have that moment of panic upon seeing a little stain. Maybe it’s just me, though. I mean, her manicure is exquisite. Anyone with nails that nice probably never spills anything!

Photo credit: Dashek | BigStock

Portrait of professional fashion or vogue model lady holding a bar of white chocolate in front of her while posing for photographer.

Why it’s weird: White chocolate is the worst chocolate because it’s not even chocolate. And no, you will not change my mind. So if I were looking for a chocolate bar to whisper all my secrets into, white chocolate wouldn’t even rank on that list.

Photo credit: Lipik | BigStock

Young Asian man eating a chocolate donut cake at home.

Why it’s weird: This guy is going for it! Good for him! He’s pulling out all the stops to seduce this donut. He wants that donut to know he means business and I don’t blame him, because that donut looks fucking tasty. Also, if he can eat that donut without getting crumbs in that stache, I’ll give him fifty bucks.

Photo credit: Achi_Studio | BigStock

Laughing man with chocolate facial mask.

Why it’s weird: My pores are screaming at this! Just looking at this gives me the sudden urge to wash my face. It also seems like a waste of chocolate. You can’t even eat it whenever your facial is done because well, that’s gross. And as I discussed earlier, white fabric should be nowhere near chocolate.

Photo credit: Romario Ien | BigStock

Tall brunette covered in chocolate syrup and coffee grounds

Why it’s weird: I’m not much for interpretative dance performances, but if one of the Bitchery is, have you ever seen one where the dancers were slathered in melted chocolate? I have to wonder if the chocolate was part of this shoot, or if it was a spur of the moment decision after looking over the craft services offerings.

Photo credit: Hank Shiffman | BigStock

Why it’s weird: They’re clearly about to summon something. Need I say more?

Photo credit: Tverdokhlib | BigStock

Have you seen any strange stock images involving chocolate of any type? Remember, please use your chocolate responsibly this month!

Comments are Closed

  1. PamG says:

    I really don’t want to think about that chocolate on the white sheets though it does seem inevitable. Kinda reminds me of my conflicted relationship with maple syrup. It doesn’t matter how careful I am or how drip free the pancake or waffle eating was, my fore arms always end up with sticky spots–not small ones either.

    I have to say that this collection of weirdness does make me glad I’m not a chocolate fiend. Waffles w/maple syrup & bacon, on the other hand, are so worth it.

  2. Heather M says:

    White chocolate is 100% the worst chocolate, but that model’s lipstick is FIRE

  3. Escapeologist says:

    White chocolate is a waste of chocolate calories.

    Here’s a book y’all should appreciate https://www.amazon.com/CHOCOLATE-Consuming-Passion-Sandra-Boynton/dp/0761185631

  4. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    I’m getting a Stacy London (“What Not to Wear”) vibe from the white chocolate model.

    I’m not a big fan white chocolate, but a friend makes the most decadent white chocolate bread pudding and I’ll eat that all day!

  5. Tindi says:

    My pores are SO ANGRY at the face mask one. I mean my pores are angry anyway, but ughughugh no.

    At least in the summoning one it’s on her stomach and she’s wearing underwear, because the interpretive dance one looks like a yeast infection waiting to happen.

  6. LG says:

    I hate the stock photos where it’s an adult woman with chocolate smeared all over her face, especially if it’s smeared in places where you wouldn’t expect chocolate to be smeared if she had been eating normally. https://goo.gl/images/zYnAHp and https://goo.gl/images/7J35KB are perfect examples.

  7. H Lynnea says:

    The problem I have with the eating chocolate in bed photo is that it doesn’t look like good chocolate. Like, that’s some low-cocoa, very pale-looking milk chocolate. I just thing she deserves better quality chocolate if she’s going to risk her bedsheets.

  8. denise says:

    Did you know the Hershey Spa does chocolate: http://www.chocolatespa.com/treatments/signature/chocolate.php

  9. chacha1 says:

    I look at these and I think ‘what in the world could this be used to illustrate,’ and the only one that has a story I’d want to read is the first one. I like that woman. I like her face and her attitude (YES I’M EATING TWO DESSERT THINGS WHAT) and the fact that she’s not getting crumbs in the bed.

    Although Donut Dude does seem really committed.

  10. Sandra says:

    @H Lynnea: It looks like a Nestle’s Crunch bar where the cocoa butter has separated out.(Does Nestle’s Crunch even contain real cocoa butter anymore?)

  11. Kris Bock says:

    Yesterday I ate a couple of chocolate covered caramels, and I had a dozen specs of chocolate all over my gray t-shirt. Granted, I eat these caramels in tiny bites that encourage bits of the chocolate to flake off, but there probably wasn’t more than half a tablespoon of chocolate in them all together. I had to change my shirt before the chocolate migrated all over the couch. Obviously I’m not suited to stock photography.

  12. Deianira says:

    I have to say, I hate white chocolate but I LOVE the lipstick on the white chocolate model. Seriously, I want that!

  13. Lepiota says:

    #2 I volunteer to be her drop cloth! Clearly, no chocolate must fall on her beautiful sheets.

    #3 I’m curious about all the white chocolate hate. I mean, there are matters of taste and all that, but there’s also some terrible white chocolate out there. I’m generally a dark chocolate fan – and I hate milk in chocolate – but I’ve had some excellent white chocolate, and a lot has to do with the quality of the cocoa butter involved? (Mm, my cosmetics designer uses this amazing largely unrefined cocoa butter, that has a wonderfully chocolate smell just on its own…)

    #4 Maybe she has dry skin issues? I mean, I’ve been dealing will midwestern winter dryness, and while I’ve never used anything with cocoa mass (*wince) see again about that cocoa butter.

    #5 & #6 – so, there are no lack of lovely smooth sculpted male torsos in circulation. Do we have any of these drizzled with chocolate? Decorated with fruit? If you don’t want to do the straight gender reversal thing of serving sushi off of the nude male body (and for all my love of sushi, it’s not really that appealing) perhaps a classic formal tea?

  14. Adeliza says:

    So I initially scrolled past the chocolate facial pic and vaguely thought NOPE to myself.

    Then today I saw a screenshot of it on my browser homepage and my brain immediately went “oh, blackface noooooooo” and now I can’t unsee it. I’m sure my brain will get over it but at the moment I’m making a face at my big jar of Nutella.

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