Outlander 2.11: “Vengeance Is Mine”

NB: Redheadedgirl is off cavorting in Sweden so I’m on my own for Outlander this week. My commentary is imbedded in the recap. Also one of the images below is kind of gory. Beware!

The title card is a dude spraying powder on a wig and then pushing it on the floor. The title is Vengeance Is Mine. I wonder what that could possibly be a harbinger of?

Claire, via voiceover, lets us know that the Jacobite army has been marching south, gaining artillery, taken the English garrison at Carlisle and occupied Manchester, but that they still don’t have the support they need. They are currently in Northern England.

Prince Charles’ advisors are telling him to turn back, but Charlie really wants to take London. It’s at this moment, listening to Charles, that I suddenly say, “Wait, is the guy who plays Prince Charles the guy that played Moriarty on Sherlock?”

My husband doesn’t even look up from his video game to remind me, “There are more than four English actors in the world, Elyse.” Which obviously I KNOW, I’m just saying they look like the same dude.

I don’t believe him so I Google. Google tells me that Rich is right, but I think Google is a fucking liar and that Andrew Scott and Andrew Gower are the same person and are just involved in a really elaborate social experiment to see who notices. And it’s a lazy social experiment too, because both his first names are Andrew. You’d think he’d change one.

Anyway, Jamie butts in because he wants to take London too—they are only five days away from the city. There is some male squabbling. Dicks are measured. Growl, growl, growl. Bluster and snarl. Cut to Claire pulling a tooth out of some poor lady’s mouth. Rupert tells a charming story about Angus got kicked in the face by a cow and had his teeth knocked out and “didn’t shite for a week for fear of being bitten.” Ahhh, Angus. You are always with us in spirit.

Back to the blustering. Jamie kisses Prince Charles’ hand to pledge his loyalty to the cause and marching on London even though the Jacobites are outnumbered by 25,000 troops. Charlie flips his shit because his advisors aren’t willing to go on a suicide mission for his divine purpose. It’s a lot of entitlement to swallow. Jamie comes stomping out into Claire’s Tooth Pullin’ Tent to tell her that they are retreating back to Scotland. Even if they would have been unable to hold London, Claire and Jamie think it would have altered the future.

Jamie makes Claire a promise that he’ll see her safe no matter what happens. That’s not foreshadowing at all.

Later he watches her sleep and says a Gaelic prayer over her, asking that she be protected and safe always. My husband tells me that he says that same thing over me every night, but he’s full of shit. He turns on his CPAP machine and pretends like he’s not snuggling with the cat.

Hey look it’s Dougal! He’s all pissed off. Jamie and Dougal have been banished—they have to proceed in advance in the army to obtain provisions, but, you know, without cash. The other advisors are pissy because Jamie took Prince Charles’ side and shamed them.

So now Jamie, Dougal, Claire and some others are headed for Inverness. We get some gorgeous landscape shots and the Scottish tourism website probably gets a bunch of hits.

Now everyone is sitting by a stream and Claire is pulling what looks like a big splinter out of someone’s hand. Rupert calls the man a wee bairn and says that Angus would have pulled it out with his teeth. Fergus kindly reminds him that Angus had no teeth. Fucking cow. Then there’s a gunshot and a guard goes down. THE REDCOATS ARE COMING! THE REDCOATS ARE COMING! Everyone scrambles. The redcoats give chase. Rupert is shot in the eye, but Dougal manages to save him by jumping horses mid gallop. They elude the British and take refuge in a church where it turns out some of the other men are hiding as well.

Claire does some battlefield surgery that is truly impressive and also a little nauseating to watch. The bullet embedded in Rupert’s eye, but didn’t shift to his brain. Night falls. Jamie and Dougal see fires outside. A redcoat shouts that they have the party’s horses and the man who was guarding them. The redcoats threaten to burn the thatch roof of the church. Jamie offers to give himself up in exchange for everyone else because he’s noble that way. Dougal wants to fight.

Claire, always the smartest person in the room, starts screaming for help. She wants the British to think they have an Englishwoman as hostage because they won’t burn the place down. Claire points out that they can safely exchange her for their lives and freedom. Jamie freaks the fuck out—he’s not letting her go. Remember he just said that prayer over her? Claire yells at him that she’s Lady Broch Tuarach, and the men are her responsibility too. Dougal negotiates Claire’s release for everyone else’s freedom. Fergus helpfully suggests she faint so the soldiers can’t question her.

Before turning herself over to the British, Claire tells Jamie that they will find each other. Cue My Heart Will Go On.

Claire is taken to a town by the soldiers where she sees a wanted poster of Jamie on a tavern door. A beggar eyes Claire suspiciously as she passes. It’s Munroe! The next morning Claire is told by Lt. Barnes that she’s being escorted to Bellmont, not the garrison like she thought. She realizes Jamie won’t find her. As they leave the tavern she’s accosted by Munroe. She lets it slip that she’s going to Bellmont, not the garrison, so he can tell Jamie.

When Claire and Lt. Barnes get to Bellmont, Claire finds out that the house belongs to—DUN DUN DUN—the Duke of Sandringham. At dinner Claire notices that the duke has only one servant, and he reveals that money is tight. He also tells her that he spent some time in the Tower for disloyalty and is currently on house arrest. He wants Jamie to rescue him along with Claire. He offers to get notes past the soldiers to Jamie, explaining where Claire is and how to rescue her, in exchange for his own freedom.

OH HEY GUESS WHO ELSE IS HERE? Mary Hawkins! She’s the Duke of Sandringham’s goddaughter. Mary is freaking out because she’s engaged to a Mr. Granger. She wants Claire to fix it because CLAIRE DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH SHIT TO DEAL WITH.

The duke’s man manages to get a note to Munroe.

Back at Bellmont, Claire sees a birthmark on the duke’s manservant and realizes that he’s the one who raped Mary. The duke reveals that the attack was ordered by the Comte de Jawline. The Duke owed the Comte a fuckton of money, and in lieu of payment the Comte wanted the Duke to have Claire killed. The Duke talked him down to rape. Of course Mary was the one who was raped, not Claire. Not that he cares. He suggests that Claire should be grateful to him.

At this point I was optimistic that a giant pit of snakes would open up beneath the duke and he’d fall in and slowly be devoured while screaming, but that doesn’t happen.

The duke then reveals that he told the British that Red Jamie is coming for his traitorous wife, thus proving he’s a loyalist.

I really, really want that pit of snakes right about now. Or maybe just especially vicious gerbils. That sounds like a long and painful to die—gnawed to death by gerbils. Rich suggest he has his jubblies eaten off by a goat with exactly three teeth. We are very specific in our death wishes here at Chez Elyse.

Anyway, Munroe stops Jamie and Murtagh and gives them the note. Turns out Claire’s written Gaelic is comically bad.

Back at the house Claire is freaking out that Jamie will die rescuing her. Mary lets Claire out of her room, and Claire asks Mary for her help. Mary is a giant pain in the ass, aghast at the idea of going out in the garden at night and meeting a filthy beggar. GODDAMNIT MARY, PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS FOR A GODDAMN SECOND. Claire’s all like “Ugh! Fuck it! Fine, be useless!” She sneaks out, goes down to the kitchens—where the duke is waiting for her. FUCK IT ALL. JUST STAB HIM TO DEATH, CLAIRE. IT’S TOTALLY JUSTIFABLE.

Claire sits and drinks with The Duke of Shitbagham, then notices a giant carving knife. She tries to grab it but the duke stops her. Mary busts into the kitchen, ruining all the passive aggressive assery the Duke was throwing Claire’s way.

Mary realizes shit is going down and FINALLY decides to be useful, and tells Munroe what’s happening. Then she’s stopped by the manservant who she doesn’t realize was also her rapist. IT’S ALL VERY TENSE. The servant tells the duke that Mary tried to run away because no one believes she might actually do a heroic thing. THEN JAMIE BURSTS IN! The servant has a knife to Claire’s throat! Murtagh and Jamie manage to save Claire—she shouts that this is the man who attacked us in Paris! The duke starts cowering and backpedaling, so Jamie does him a favor and picks him up by the neck to shut him up.

Mary, realizing what all this means, picks up a knife and stabs the man who raped her. HELL YEAH MARY! NOW STAB THE DUKE TOO OKAY?!

Instead Murtagh gruesomely beheads the duke and offers his head to Mary and Claire. I love Murtagh immensely now. I didn’t think I could love him more, but I do.

And that’s how it ends, with a beheading. I approve.

How about you? What did you think of this past week’s episode?