GS vs. STA: Disabled Heroines

2017 NB: The title of this entry was changed from “Handicapped Heroines” to “Disabled Heroines” due to the fact that “handicapped” was and is an ableist term. I want to apologize for the poor choice, and apologize that I cannot change the URL to match the headline. Thank you to Brooke W. for bringing this to my attention on Twitter. – SW

It’s a little different than the “Help a Bitch Out” feature, but it’s all about looking for good things to read. Good Shit vs. Shit to Avoid is a recommendation thread devoted to books in a specific genre that feature a type of heroine, hero, plot, or locale that is often difficult to find, particularly when that feature is done right. Today, Heather, the awesome, from The Galaxy Express, is looking for disabled heroines:

When you have a chance, I’m hoping you can assist me with information about a particular type of romance heroine. I’m thinking my question might be eligible for your HaBO feature. A friend of mine and I were discussing how we’d like to read romances involving a handicapped heroine—one where the heroine gets the hero without any serious cop-outs.

By cop-outs, we mean:

1) The heroine’s handicap is resolved/healed in some way prior to her HEA.

2) The handicap becomes a non-issue based on milieu (e.g., deafness in an environment where every non-deaf human has to wear earplugs to keep the local inhabitants from piercing human ear drums with their loud calls).

3) The couple is united by a magical, psychic, biological, etc. bond they have no control over. This bond tends to ensure the hero can’t have a satisfying relationship with the vast majority of otherwise eligible women.

4) The handicap turns out to be a side-effect of great magical or psychic power that enables the heroine to save the world or the country.

SF/F would be nice, but we’re basically looking for stories regardless of sub-genre.

Oh, Heather, I hear you on the cop-outs. Love my conquer all, but there are some physical ailments it can’t overrule. What romances featuring disabled heroines do you recommend?

Comments are Closed

  1. BadgerChaser says:

    The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie has a hero with a sensory integration disorder; and it works!

    What a Scoundrel Wants by Carrie Lofty features a blind heroine, and I really loved the way Lofty conveyed that—I could find no breaks in the sections from Meg’s point of view that, for example, described the way things looked.  This is one fantastic book.

    The Winter Rose by Jennifer Donnelly features a secondary romantic hero who ends up paralyzed from the waist down; another secondary romantic heroine has a leg amputated (it’s one enormous epic novel!). 

    In all of the above novels, the disability is part of the characters’ lives, but not the ONLY part of their lives, and there were no magic fixes.

  2. Mezza says:

    Josh Lanyon regularly writes lead characters in his M/M stories who have chronic illnesses, eg. Adrien English suffered rheumatic fever as a teenager and has a heart condition and asthma. His heart surgery in the latest book is a major driver of the story’s plot as he goes through cardiac rehab and convalesces.  In ‘the ghost wore yellow socks’, the young hero has severe asthma and has an asthma plan but can’t afford his medication.  One of the things I love about LMB’s Miles Vorkosigan is that she doesn’t shirk the difficulties of Mile’s life in living with his health problems and the influence and affect his health and disabilities have on the choices he makes.  Josh does this as well, the illness/disability is a part of the person.  ZA Maxfield’s ‘epistols at dawn’ has the lead hero living with panic attacks and OCD. 

    To me these are much more realistic depictions of living with disabilities, especialy because they are outcomes of illnesses that we all may potentially have. I often find myself feeling that the depictions of deafness and blindness and limps or amputations as representations of the failing body are tokenistic:
    – They are simply standing for, or symbols of the heroine/hero’s otherness or estrangement from society and the romance journey is about bringing them into the community. 
    – Also as disabilities they are relatively fixed and once acceptance and adaptation has been made their affect on the hero’s life is less defining that it is for someone living with chronic disease who continually has to re-adapt and shape their reality to their changing health and capacities. 
    – They are still a well person’s view of disability, looking from the outside.  Eg. I, like other commentators am very tired of the pushing away help trope.  You don’t live with chronic illness or disability without depending on other people and the challenge lies in how those boundaries are managed.
    – I think disability/chronic illness gives you a much greater sense of the now because you have no control over the future …as Miles Vorkosigan says it is about maintaining your forward momentum (despite it all)

  3. Thanks again, folks! I’m compiling a list of most of these titles and will post them at The Galaxy Express tomorrow night.

  4. Vicki says:

    Barbara mentioned Brother to Dragons, Companion to Owls by Lindskold. I cannot recommend this enough! It is sci-fi/fantasy, not so much in the way of romance. The heroine is very neuro-atypical but learns to function in the world. I found it truly magical (well, felt stoned the entire time I was racing through it) and have re-read several times as well as forcing it on various acquaintances. I think it might help if you’ve read Jungle Book at some point in your life.

  5. Susan Chambers says:

    “A Curious Affair” by Melanie Jackson has a heroine who was hit by lightning.  She has problems with TMJ, when it is cold/rainy her jaw locks up.  She can also talk to cats.  She is also a severely depressed loner who is contemplating suicide, but her neighbor is murdered and she is forced to interact with the new sheriff.  All the Amazon reviewers (6) disliked it, but I really enjoyed it.

  6. kathryn says:

    On the sf/f side Anne McCaffrey’s The Ship Who Sang is collection of stories about Helva, a person who is born with serious physical disabilities, but a sharp mind. Permanently encapsulated in mechanical life support pod, she becomes the “brain” of a space ship, while humans that are not disabled serve as co-pilot “brawns.”  McCaffrey wrote other stories in her “Brawn and Brain” series about ships, but the ones collected in The Ship who Sang are my favorites. And yes there are romantic relations between Helva and a couple of her co-pilots.

    And don’t some of Catherine Asaro’s Skolian Empire heroines (and heroes) have various disabilities precisely because of all inbreeding and genetic manipulation that is at play in the ruling families (the Ruby dynasty and the Aristos)?

    And for another Bujold recommendation—what about her books that feature the quaddies—Falling Free and Diplomatic Immunity? Quaddies are people who have two sets of arms and no legs, so in a situation where there is gravity, quaddies are physically handicapped because they cannot walk. But on space stations with no gravity they are graceful and quick, while it is humans with legs who are handicapped. Bujold I think is a person who is really interested in difference and disability in all their various meanings and permutations—her heroines and heroes usually are handicapped in some way (whether struggling with madness, depression, and guilt like Ista or physically disabled like Miles) but they are honorable and amazing people.

  7. Lyn says:

    Touch Me by Jacquie d’Alessandro is about a “retired” 30ish mistress of an earl who has rheumatoid arthritis extremely bad.  She was in love with him but he supposedly didn’t want her anymore because of her disfigured hands. 

    I haven’t read it yet since it’s a follow up book to Love and the Single Heiress which I need to read first.  It might stand alone though…..

  8. Kristina says:

    I read an old old old old 80-something book about a lady who is anorexic (sp?) and contemplating suicide after unsuccessful rehab then she gets a new neighbor that is a teddy bear type of guy and he helps her to heal and they fall in love.  I remember really liking the book.  no cop-outs in this one.  It was one of those silver spined Harlequin American Romances, I’m pretty sure.

    Also, there was a book where the heroine was temporarily blinded for some reason and while she is blind she meets a man who is very jaded and disconnected due to some very serious facial scarring or deformity.  He thinks he’s home clear when he meets her cuz she’s blind, then when she regains her sight he’s pissed and much angst ensues.  This was also one of those older Silver spined books.  So cop-out for her but no cop-out for him.

    Anyway, if anyone knows these two I would love to re-read them.  🙂

  9. Kristina says:

    @Diane/Anonym:  you are absolutely correct about A Rose for Maggie was the book I’m thinking of.  Unfortunately I have all my series romances in boxes cuz my sister and her family is living with me.  Darn I was hoping the girl in A Prince for Jenny was that baby.  In the epilogue for A Rose for Maggie, Maggie is a ballerina and is speaking publicly at her college graduation.  *sniff*  I love that book.

  10. Diane/Anonym2857 says:

    ~~In the epilogue for A Rose for Maggie, Maggie is a ballerina and is speaking publicly at her college graduation.  *sniff*  I love that book.~~

    Kristina,

    I hate to disabuse you, but I don’t think we’re talking about the same book. I’ve read that story a hundred times, and have it in several reprinted versions. I’ve never seen it with that particular epilogue, and frankly I’m not convinced I’d find it believable if I did.  The epilogue in R4M takes place on umn, I think it’s their 5th wedding anniversary, with Maggie about six or seven at the most.  I’m too lazy to climb the stairs and get the book, but will check tonite and if I’m wrong I’ll post tomorrow. but that is definitely not any ending I’ve ever seen for this book.

    Diane
    confused… but that’s pretty standard for me.

  11. cawm says:

    Dancing With Clara by Mary Balogh is by far the most memorable book I have read about a disabled heroine.

    I used to enjoy Catherine Anderson, but after reading Morning Light I promised myself never to go near another book by her. The heavy handed preaching and moralizing completely offended me. The morality beng preached also struck me as ridiculous. The hero goes on and on about the importance of chastity, has sex with the heroine anyway, and then tells her how sinful they both have been and how important it is that they wait for marriage. The heroine has psychic abilities, and the hero berates her, stating that these abilities go against his religion. Morning Light is probably the book I most disliked of any romance I’ve read.

  12. Melissandre says:

    Okay, I said one more earlier.  Now I think I really mean it.

    The series is called The Emerald Dream by B.J. Hoff, and it sort of centers around three members of an old love triangle during the Irish Famine.  One is a cop now living in New York, one is a musician/Irish rebel, and their old love must decide whether to stay in Ireland or go to New York.  Much melodrama/romance ensues as the lives of these three and their families intertwine.  As I remembered more about this series, I was surprised at just how many characters in it end up with disabilities: someone has an arm amputated, someone was born with a club foot, someone becomes paralyzed, someone has amnesia (maybe) and is mute.  I think the last two characters are eventually cured, but not in magical, deus ex machina ways. 

    The books are out of print, but it looks like you can still get them.  Here’s the order:
    Song of the Silent Harp
    Heart of the Lonely Exile
    Land of a Thousand Dreams
    Sons of an Ancient Glory
    Dawn of the Golden Promise

    I read this series as a 9th grader and loved it.  At 29, I don’t know if I’d still love it, but I certainly have fond memories.  It is Christian fiction, but I don’t remember that aspect being too intrusive to the story.

  13. Alison says:

    I suppose neither of these are technically disabilities, but I liked Mercedes Lackey’s The Fire Rose (a kind of Beauty and the Beast with Mages), where the hero whilst using magic becomes a part-beast like figure.  He does not become entirely human again at the end of the story.

    I also remember reading a story years ago where the heroine had had a mastectomy, which was really sensitively dealt with.  Wish I could remember who it was by!

  14. Again, not SF but medieval historical, The Darkest Knight by Gayle Callen was pretty close to the first modern romance I read back in the late nineties. The heroine has a crippled arm which never improves. It made her slightly clumsy but with the hero’s encouragement she learns to compensate. Excellent book.

  15. Jennifer says:

    A book I read as a teenager was Tell Me How The Wind Sounds. It features a sheltered (island boy) deaf hero and a heroine with a bit of ‘tude who drags him out of his shell and learns ASL to boot. (The way the author works the sign in this book is particularly good.)

    Another teenager one (uh…yeah, I never grew up) is Long May She Reign by Ellen Emerson White. It’s the fourth in a (republished) series she wrote featuring the first female president’s daughter. In the third book Meg is kidnapped and has her knee smashed up, and later has to smash her own hand to bits in order to escape from where she’s been trapped. This is the fourth book, in which she slowly learns how to deal with life again while being handicapped, at college, and with media attention. She also has a romance with a guy who’s all too human—has his jerky moments and his good ones too, and they pretty much do “everything but” when it comes to sexuality.

  16. Alyssa says:

    It’s not romance so much as historical fantasy, but the heroine of Child of the Prophecy, the third book in the Sevenwaters series by Juliet Marillier, has a deformed foot and walks with a limp, and believes this is a curse upon her for being the child of an incestuous union.

    She does have magical powers, but they’re completely unrelated- they’re the result of severely strict training since early childhood, she doesn’t always use them wisely, and her foot is never healed by them. The book is best if you read the other books in the series first (and may I say that in the first two are the two strongest and most sympathetic heroines I have ever read IMO), but I suppose it could be read alone.

    I believe I also read a short story once in which the heroine was a very talented artist who ended up being blinded by… something I don’t remember, and the hero was a genie, and they fell in love and instead of wishing for her sight back, she wished for his freedom. For the life of me I do not recall the names except that hers _might_ have started with a D and his was, as usual, something ridiculously modern for a genie thousands of years old.

    Oh, and I would like to put in my vote against Meg from What A Scoundrel Wants because she annoyed the crap out of me with her spontaneously-developed-in-six-months-mad-forest-ninja-skills. Seriously, I had to stop about four chapters in because I couldn’t stand her.

  17. ashley says:

    Alyssa: Meg annoyed the crap out of me too! returned that one.

    Nadia: Yours until dawn was one of the ones I was thinking of.  maybe its possible but it still raises issues.

  18. sandra says:

    I remembered a couple more titles:  The ‘heroine’ of Patricia Grasso’s TO CATCH A COUNTESS is dyslexic.  However, since she is also extremely stupid, and the ‘hero’ is even stupider, as well as being an abusive SOB, I don’t recommend it.  The heroine of Elizabeth Rolls’ THE UNEXPECTED BRIDE has been blind ever since a fall from her horse, and yes, she gets her eyesight back when she gets another whack on the head, and the doctor speculates that a blood clot was blocking the optic nerve.  She also has an irresponsible twin sister and a seeing-eye wolfhound.  I quite liked it.

  19. I compiled a most excellent list from the suggestions here and posted it at The Galaxy Express:

    http://www.thegalaxyexpress.net/2010/01/in-search-ofhandicapped-heroines.html

    Thanks again!

  20. sandra says:

    Just remembered another title:  SWEET ANNIE by Cheryl St John.  The heroine’s family treat her like an invalid, even making her use a wheelchair, although she is capable of walking, but with an unsightly limp.  The hero has to rescue her from their ‘love’.  In the end, she still limps. Spamword Like69. I wonder if she does?

  21. henofthewoods says:

    Not a romance, but 25 years later I think I want to reread it:

    Why have the Birds Stopped Singing by Zoa Sherburne

    This is about a girl with epilepsy who time travels substituting with her great(great?) grandmother. Both are epileptic but how the condition is treated has changed a great deal in the last hundred years or so. Epilepsy is seen as a major problem to her before the time travel but it seems much more manageable after the time travel adventure. (I think the people in the past believed the seizures were witchcraft.)

    I feel like I have read books where the heroine had diabetes that she had to control, but maybe the only time was Primal Heat by Susan Sizemore which does have the magic wand disease fix.

    Neither problem has to be crippling now, but both can be extremely damaging and in the past either epilepsy and diabetes both could be a death sentence.

    My husband has epilepsy, it is really unnerving to be near someone having a seizure. It makes you very glad to live near a pharmacy and a neurologist. With a chance at a CT scan when you want one. Willow bark tea won’t do it.

  22. Bunny says:

    This is a bit outside romance-land, but the Wine Country mysteries series by Ellen Crosby **might** work (at least the first three books). Pre-book 1 the heroine gets into a pretty severe car accident; the doctors tell her she’ll never walk again, but she manages to prove them wrong, although she has a cane for the rest of her life and can’t run or move very fast. The author does a good job or neither highlighting nor shoving aside her disability. It’s just there.

    The overall plot: she inherits the family vineyard in Virginia; right before her dad died, he hired a new winemaker who is 180 degrees from everything she’s used to: major east (her) vs. west (him) coast culture clash. Normal murder mystery stuff ensues in the books—so if that genre is not your thing, skip it—but the atmosphere is great, and the slow development of her and the winemaker guy’s relationship is really good. It was a lot more realistic than love-at-first sight, but is still really enjoyable.

    Don’t know if it will help the OP, but if anyone else is reading this post and looking for the something along those lines, it might be worth a look.

  23. Deb says:

    Sorry to be so late to the party and apologies if this has already been covered above (have to be somewhere shortly and don’t have time to read all the really great comments), but one of Deborah Fairchild’s Regencies has a blind heroine.  I don’t remember the title, but the hero is called “The Beast” (Beauty and the Beast?—that seems way too obvious).  The heroine will always be blind—but the hero finds some raised alphabet blocks for her so that she can learn a sort of modified Braile (prior to Braile inventing them, I suppose).

    There’s a very old school western romance (possibly Shirlee Busbee or Rebecca Brandywine) where the heroine’s lower body was severely injured in an accident.  She has a distinct limp and also can never have children (I think this was mentioned a few weeks back in the infertility thread).

    Great discussion above.  THIS is the sort of thing I always point to when any tiresome person says women who read romances are empty-headed nincompoops.

  24. Anne D says:

    So I was told on twitter that I’d started some sort of kerfluffle here at SBTB about Catherine Anderson’s books.

    What I’d said:

    I’ll second or third Catherine Anderson’s older books (it appears she converted or reaffirmed or something recently and newer books are heavy on the Catholic ideals which might annoy some)

    I’ve a heroine disabled via accident in Tea for Three (mmf, set in NZ) from Loose Id.

    (And ps I was told off recently for the use of handicapped… not pc these days, apparently. Disabled/differently-abled I believe is the current phrasing)

    And in reply to :

    Are you all reading the same Catherine Anderson books that I am? Cause I certainly don’t pick up on any overly Catholic bents at all. I am definitely not religious, and not Christian or Catholic, and none of her recent books have struck me as such. I particularly enjoyed her newest one that just came out about a month ago (forget the name of it, of course). As far as I can tell, the closest she leans towards a Catholic bent is by describing the family or the heroine as Catholic, that they pray, and attend church—nothing wrong with that. It kind of helps shape the characters. If you read closely enough, she usually has a supporting character somewhere that tempers the Catholic views of the main character—especially when they get in a snit about something. Maybe you’re just being overly sensitive…

    Where I replied:

    There have been a few reprints of early work lately – the one that came out a month ago was one of them I believe. Her true new books versus new reprints go from mentioning faith/finding love/having sex, to practicing faith (some heavily)/finding love/no sex until marriage.

    I’ve read over the replies, and WOW.

    First I recommended CA books (because I love those earlier books, such wonderfully human characters), then I say that I’ve noticed a number of reprints recently (which would have her older style of writing- and yay for her on the reprint front) which, admittedly by inference as I don’t know how much back list of CA Roxanne has read, would mean the books she was reading were older rather than brand new and therefore the perception difference. I then said how I saw the difference between the older and newer works.

    I stand corrected on the new/reprint front, the book I saw what I thought was a month ago, might well have been two months ago, so indeed there might have been a new book since. I just remember my disappointment at the book being a reprint vs new work.

    No where amongst any of that did I get a hate on for Catherine Anderson, Catholicism or any other religion, other than to say I felt there was a difference from older to newer works that people who did take exception to religion being very prominent may not take to the newer books. I also briefly outlined the reason why I’d not enjoyed more recent works as much as past.

    From reading through the thread I obviously wasn’t alone in noticing this change in CA’s work.

    For the record: In my remembered and personal opinion, in the newer contemporary releases that I’ve read the protagonists religion had gone from being part of their background makeup, to being an active part of the storyline. So, for my reading preferences the stories had gone from ‘not quite an inspirational’ which I don’t mind reading (obviously, as I’ve rec’d CA’s earlier works often) to ‘Inspirational romances’ which I’m not always comfortable reading—there have been some wonderful exceptions, of course.

    Roxanne, please feel free to accuse me of blatant self advertising and promotion on my own behalf, but the other… there really is no justification.

    And back to the original topic – did I see someone had compiled a list of all the diff recs? There looks to be some interesting reading amongst them all

  25. SusannaG says:

    In Rachel Lee’s Involuntary Daddy, the heroine has diabetes.  It’s part of the Conard County series.

  26. Megan says:

    Lynn Kurland wrote a historical book and the hero was blind.  I think his name was Christopher but I can’t remember the name of the book.

  27. Lyn says:

    I just read Entwined by Emma Jensen. This had the hero blinded though an attack.  Although not completely blind, he can just see a little bright color sometimes, nothing else.  And he even gets hit on the head in the end and doesn’t even regain his sight!

    It was actually a good read.  Older book and might be hard to find.  I bought it on Amazon at a ridiculous price.

  28. natalie says:

    I just want to say thanks for recommending Catherine Anderson. I bought Candle in the Window in ebook format and read the whole thing last night.

  29. Lyn says:

    Natalie:  I’m confused.  The book Candle in the Window I read about blind heroine was by Christina Dodd, not Catherine Anderson.  Does she have a book out with the same title?  If so, what is it about?

    Thanks.

  30. Lyn says:

    Megan wrote>

    Lynn Kurland wrote a historical book and the hero was blind.  I think his name was Christopher but I can’t remember the name of the book.

    I think someone already posted about Kurland’s book. It’s called This Is All I Ask.

    Christopher of Blackmoor.

  31. Kelly L. says:

    Thank you Juls for the two suggestions.  I will definitely check them out. 
    Jasmine- I’ll check out the website and the message board.  Thanks!
    Mezza- I will definitely check the list!  Thank you so much for compiling all of this for us!  Also, you expressed the differences between “visible” and “invisible” so beautifully!  In many books there truly seems to be a difference in the way these disabilities are handled as an element to the plot. 

    Thank you all so much!

  32. Pam says:

    Sorry to be such a latecomer to this thread, but I have a couple of suggestions.

    A trio of books by Sarah Smith features a visually impaired heroine and no cop-outs. The three books are as much mystery/history as romance, but the complex and satisfying relationship between the heroine and hero is a major thread throughout the three titles: The Vanished Child, The Knowledge of Water, & A Citizen of the Country.

    There is also a pair of mysteries by Deborah Grabein featuring aging rocker J.P. Kincaid, who deals with multiple sclerosis as well as murder and mayhem.  Titles are Rock and Roll Never Forgets &  While my Guitar Gently Weeps.

  33. MD says:

    For instance, Sally Mandel’s Out Of The Blue was a big hit for people, and I was red in the face screaming at the heroine for being a big fucking whiner.

    I am way late for this thread, but I think this comment highlights different strokes for different folks. I am nowhere as disabled as Caligi, but I can totally relate to someone pushing people away and worrying about being a burden. I think Caligi’s attitude is awesome, and I wish I could feel the same. But personally, Mary Balogh’s “Simply Love” drove me up the wall, because the hero seemed to have limitless patience in his recovery, and didn’t suffer like do. And I get depressed, can’t cope with intense physcial therapy, snap at people when I am in pain, and hate to accept help. I keep going in fits and starts, and it was just depressing to read about someone who overcame the physical problems by sheer determination, and seemed to be able to just soldier through pain, when I struggle so much.

    I think it’s my general complaint about the disabled hero’s/heroine’s that I read about – they may think that no one will want them for their deformity, but they seem to have adapted to their disability and learned to do what they need to; they also often have loyal servants who take care of them regardless how much the hero abuses them when he is in pain. Neither of this fits my experience, and I’d love to read more books which portray the kind of ongoing struggle which can come with becoming disabled, especially if the disability is invisible.

  34. cassandra says:

    Does anyone know what book this is?  Long time ago I read a romance book about a man who falls in love with a paraplegic woman and later in the story at some point he saves her when she gets into a car accident and can’t get out.

  35. caligi says:

    @MD

    I’d love to read more books which portray the kind of ongoing struggle which can come with becoming disabled, especially if the disability is invisible.

    I don’t mean to say that I’ve gone quietly. I’ve had my share of crying jags set off by not being able to get a jar of mayo out of the fridge because my husband put a six-pack in front of it. I really, really miss going to Fenway on a whim with scalped tickets. I yell at people who take up the wheelchair seats who only need a cane and came with 4 of their friends.

    But pushing people away? Not wanting someone to help me? Maybe I’m shameless? I don’t know. I just can’t imagine turning down orgasms and good company. I’m the same tart I was when I could run, hike and ski. I still go out and make no apologies for the hassle I am. Why should we? One of my BFFs turns into an ogre if she doesn’t eat, another is prone to insecure mood swings that flatten parties like a pin to a balloon and another is Catholic. We’re all flawed. So I make other people carry my beers at the game, take me or leave me, this is how it is now.

    To be fair, I was initially diagnosed with ALS. After spending the better part of being 25 with the assumption I’d be dead by 30, gradual disability with all likelihood of a normal lifespan seemed quite agreeable. I’m not Yoda, but I don’t rage about what can’t be changed.

    As for the debate over dismissing a book for background Catholicism – I totally would. I went to Catholic school for 10 years and it scarred me for life. Sure it’s wrong, but with the exception of my BFF and her family, I have no nice thoughts about practicing Catholics. I couldn’t like the hero and heroine and so the book wouldn’t be enjoyable for me. It’s a big deal to people. Catholic school can be an extremely traumatic experience. My experience is far from unique.

  36. MD says:

    But pushing people away? Not wanting someone to help me? Maybe I’m shameless?

    You are not shameless, you are actually better adjusted than many people. It’s a very good attitude to take. But since for me learning to accept help was a painful (and still ongoing) process, personally I think it would be a great romance. So much in romance revolves against the basic ability to trust each other and be emotionally vulnerable. It’s easier for me to be “weak” and accept help and care from people whom I trust, and who I know value me. I can easily imagine this being a problem in a relationship, because it was a very real problem for me. I would want to see the heroine (or hero, for that matter), grow this trust.

    Not that there isn’t space for other options – I think “A Man Like Mac”, who has a paraplegic hero and an injured athlete heroine, was great. Mac is very well adjusted, but he felt real, and not just a superhero who overcame pain and impossible odds, like many of the historical disabled/handicapped heroes. And the heroine struggling with her new limitations (and refusing to accept them) fit well with how things were emotionally for me. Still, I wish for more heroes who are more realistically vulnerable this way – since I developed my own problems, many of the “grit your teeth and bear it” heroes grate, while they seemed completely realistic for me before I had to deal with pain on a daily basis.

    As a total off-topic, don’t get too mad at people with canes in wheelchair seats. They shouldn’t take up all the space, sure, and especially able-bodied friends should make accommodation for someone in wheelchair. But sometimes it’s not “just” a cane. Recently I made a fuss on the plane about being re-seated from the front row where there was more space. They double-booked the seat for me and a gentleman with a foot in a cast. His need was greater on the surface – broken foot vs. me moving around freely, if with a cane. But sitting in a cramped seat on a long flight would have meant anywhere between 2 and 6 weeks flared up – i.e. being unable sleep because of stronger pain, taking stronger painkillers with nasty side effects. But no one would guess from just looking at me. In that particular situation, in the end they moved someone else as well, and so found me a seat that worked OK. I don’t know what I would have done if that seat wasn’t found – probably took the worse seat, in the end, and coped with the inevitable pain as best I could. Don’t know how it applies to sporting event seats, of course (probably doesn’t!), but it’s just something that people with invisible disabilities find particularly hard – asking for help and consideration when there is nothing visibly wrong. Another emotional topic for romance, I guess 😉

  37. Jenna says:

    @ Casandra:

    Does anyone know what book this is?  Long time ago I read a romance book about a man who falls in love with a paraplegic woman and later in the story at some point he saves her when she gets into a car accident and can’t get out.

    I think the book you are thinking of is one that has been mentioned above, Phantom Waltz by Catherine Anderson. She has an accident while driving home in snow and he comes to get her out. Quite a cute scene, if I remember correctly!

  38. Jenna says:

    Very, very late comer to the thread, but no-one mentioned Lisa Marie Rice’s Midnight Angel. It has a blind heroine, and an ‘ugly’ man (or at least he thinks he is, and he’s definitely not described as handsome in any way). It does, however, lean towards a cop-out at the end. I can’t explain without giving away the ending, but I was a bit disappointed, though overall it was excellent. It’s a romantica/erotica book, so beware those that don’t read those. It’s the last book in a series of 3, though it is the only that deals with a disabled heroine.

  39. Raya says:

    If you want handicapped or diasabled heroines and/or heroes Lurlene McDaniel is the best way to go. She sometimes mentions God, but she doesn’t push it, and she does it in a way that fully compliments the story if she does it all.

    In her books not only does she not cop-out, you can only hope that our hero or heroine will be alive at the end of the book, because some of her characters have aids, leukemia, etc.  They are all mostly love stories.

    My favorite one is where the girl had a disfigured face and would cover it with her hair.  In the hospital was this boy who was temporarily blind and they fell in love.  He eventually got his sight back and she did get plastic surgery, BUT what makes it unique was that it wasn’t perfect.  She still had obvious disfigurmants.

    She’s considered YA, but she doesn’t baby her books, or make them all like Gossip Girl speed.  She keeps them romantic, realistic, and

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