What do you get when you take a math professor who is curious about romance, the crahkalicious Black Dagger Brotherhood, and the internet?
Why, DocTurtle’s Black Dagger Brotherhood Madlibs of course.
Thanks to DocTurtle, we have so much fun, we might end up crashing the UNC Ashville server. Oh, it’s just a beautiful thing. Enjoy!
Of course I did one!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of ska. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Mozart again. ‘What is this cuntweasel?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rock On, my brother, it’s just Mozart’s new album, Furry Corpustle.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with slick Kleenex towels.
‘Shite, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking smelly!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X crapping a civilian vampire. With a rake.’
‘Time to eat. Angrily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to bang some soft tv remotes.’
And here’s Candy’s:
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Tuvan throat singing. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Neil Diamond again. ‘What is this motherfucking shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘It’s totally groovy, my brother, it’s just Neil Diamond’s new album, Stubby Erection.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with eldritch Lucky Strike rice noodles.
‘Poop-slinger, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking turgid!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X cockmongering a civilian vampire. With a nubbin.’
‘Time to pulse. Mournfully.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to flub some putrid poodle skirts.’
Well, you know I had to do one before going to work……
Wrath opened the door to the sound of heavy metal. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Ozzy Osborne again. ‘What is this hell?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Ozzy Osborne’s new album, Fluffy Penis.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with sensual Hersheys men.
‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking amazing!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X hunting a civilian vampire. With a pussy cat.’
‘Time be. Hungrily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get swallow some conniving boobies.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of ragtime. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Scott Joplin again. ‘What is this Great Uncle Frederick’s trousers?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Spiffing, my brother, it’s just Scott Joplin’s new album, Jolly Oxford Bags.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with bally Rose’s Lime Cordial pearls.
‘Well, slap me silly and call me Shirley, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking frightful!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X lollygagging a civilian vampire. With a newt.’
‘Time to bobble. Gorgeously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to fumble some rummy fillies.’
(I may have been watching Jeeves & Wooster recently)
Wrath opened the door to the sound of easy listening. Tohr and Rhage were listening to John Mayer again. ‘What is this horse shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rad, my brother, it’s just John Mayer’s new album, Rightous Dildo.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with sloppy Nike testicles.
‘Fuckwad, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking hot and sticky!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X poking a civilian vampire. With a dog poo.’
‘Time to polka. Sexily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get sniff some dangerous beach balls.’
Thank you thank you thank you, Doc Turtle. MadLibs + coffee = Wednesday Win!
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Wrath opened the door to the sound of old skool. Tohr and Rhage were listening to DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince again. ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Righteous, my brother, it’s just DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s new album, Torrid Muppet.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with massive Peeps boats.
‘Damn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking limp!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X walking a civilian vampire. With a hand.’
‘Time be. Searchingly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to leave some gray seals.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of bluegrass. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Papa poach again. ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Papa poach’s new album, Glistening Ass.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with hard Johnson and Johnson cunts.
‘Shite, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking turgid!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X stroking a civilian vampire. With a dick.’
‘Time flies. Softly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get eat some black kittens.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of disco. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Abba again. ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Chill, my brother, it’s just Abba’s new album, Bodacious Garden hose.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with sublime Vegemite hearts.
‘Bloody hell, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking terrifying!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X cleaning a civilian vampire. With a middle finger.’
‘Time to irritate. Frustratingly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to smack some good nasal hair.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of power pop. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Ella Fitzgerald again. ‘What is this bitch?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Nifty, my brother, it’s just Ella Fitzgerald’s new album, Throbbing Pizza.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with heaving Nike cakes.
‘Whore, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking quivering!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X pawing a civilian vampire. With a dildo.’
‘Time to eat. Hungrily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get thrust some pulsating forest.’
I couldn’t resist…
Wrath opened the door to the sound of country. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Willy Nelson again. ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rad, my brother, it’s just Willy Nelson’s new album, Bewildered Bat.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with flipped-out Absolut mortals.
‘Fuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking obnoxious!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X caressing a civilian vampire. With a laptop.’
‘Time to run. Accidentally.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to give some wicked shoes.’
Like many others, I just couldn’t resist:
Wrath opened the door to the sound of New Wave. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Adam Ant again. ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Adam Ant’s new album, Slutty Dick.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with gross Pampers buttwipes.
‘Fuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking groddy!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X running a civilian vampire. With a porkpie.’
‘Time coming. Lovingly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get going some gooey hounds.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of swinging 70s. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Barry Manilow again. ‘What is this butt munch?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rad!, my brother, it’s just Barry Manilow’s new album, Shiny Prison.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with purple JiffyPop apples.
‘Bitch, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking speckled!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X rocking a civilian vampire. With a riot.’
‘Time to blow. Sporadically.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to see some glittery kayaks.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of rock. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Dan Fogelberg again. ‘What is this crap?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Dan Fogelberg’s new album, Tousled Caribou.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with bedraggled Jameson’s geese.
‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking flashy!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X punishing a civilian vampire. With a tuxedo.’
‘Time to clean. Excitedly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to marry some exhausted chimneys.’
Oh god, that was fun!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of polka. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Weird Al Yankovic again. ‘What is this Drat?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Grody, my brother, it’s just Weird Al Yankovic’s new album, Ballsy Member.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with massive Depends bunnies.
‘Fudge, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking turgid!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X mincing a civilian vampire. With a shit kicker.’
‘Time to bite. Angrily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to suck some throbbing budgies.’
Throwin’ mine into the mix:
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Emo. Tohr and Rhage were listening to The Jonas Brothers again. ‘What is this ChristCrackers?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Gag me with a spoon, my brother, it’s just The Jonas Brothers’s new album, Snazzy Pants.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with homely Polydent eyebrows.
‘For shit’s sake, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking delicate!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X dry humping a civilian vampire. With a potato.’
‘Time to meditate. Crookedly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to lick some slick porcupines.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of rock. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Mj again. ‘What is this fuckhat?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Hotness, my brother, it’s just Mj’s new album, Stupid Nose.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with hot dorito beers.
‘Dildoface, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking pretty!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X overcoming a civilian vampire. With a tree.’
‘Time run. Wetly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get driving some wet tacos.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of 60’s Folk. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Barbara Striesand again. ‘What is this merde?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Gag me, my brother, it’s just Barbara Striesand’s new album, Pulsing Canape.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with cerulean Weetabix cranes.
‘Suck it, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking hot!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X sparkling a civilian vampire. With a loafer.’
‘Time to sing. Snobbily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to sling some voluptsuous plumes.’
Ahhh, Madlibs, will you ever cease to be hilarious?
Wrath opened the door to the sound of bluegrass. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Brandy again. ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Hella, my brother, it’s just Brandy’s new album, Hot Table.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with fast Kleenex houses.
‘Cocksucker, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking airy!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X crying a civilian vampire. With a brick.’
‘Time to sleep. Quickly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to fell some tiny mice.’
OMG, is this *funny*! And I can do it, although English isn’t my first language (only the profanities were a bit of an obstacle – obviously I don’t know enough funny English profanities, but I’m here to learn).
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Wrath opened the door to the sound of classics. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Stravinsky again. ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Superdooper, my brother, it’s just Stravinsky’s new album, Gothic Fence.’ Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with gloomy Band-Aid keys.
‘Asshole, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking lustrous!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X mocking a civilian vampire. With an alley.’
‘Time to moan. Hideously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to beat some burnished hair rollers.’
—-
and I couldn’t resist: now in semi-German, Germish, Englan or how should I call it? (some things don’t work too well, there no gerundium and so on…):
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Neue Deutsche Welle. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Nena again.
‘What is this, Kruzitürken?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Megastark, my brother, it’s just Nena’s new album, Hünenhaft Grünspan.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with glänzenden Tempo Lederpeitschen.
‘Verflixt nochmal, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking düster!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X bespringen a civilian vampire. With Grünkohl.’
‘Time zu bremsen. Schillernd.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to dazzle some pompöse Bettdecken.’
😀
I amused myself by adding an utterly unnecessary “h” to every entry in the madlibs. It seemed appropriate.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Wrath opened the door to the sound of mhetal. Tohr and Rhage were listening to AC/DC again. ‘What is this fhuck?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rhadical, my brother, it’s just AC/DC’s new album, Chrackilicious Bhlood.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with whrathful Khleenex fhangs.
‘Ahss, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking jhealous!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X fhighting a civilian vampire. With a dhagger.’
‘Time to suhck. Zsadistically.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to whrithe some bhuff hhands.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of 80’s soft rock. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Michael Jackson again. ‘What is this Holy Shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Lame, my brother, it’s just Michael Jackson’s new album, Softly glowing Coffee.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with rounded Prada shitkickers.
‘Fuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking neon pink!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X rocking a civilian vampire. With a rock.’
‘Time to splatter. Expeditiously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get shag some hot hellhounds.’
Oh this was AWESOME! I have tears in my eyes! OMG and I’m trying to work out a contract with my sales guy while I’m doing this and I’m laughing at him!!
To those of you who wrote “Gag me with a spoon” or some variation: I salute your genius. I laughed so hard I started convulsing.
As for mine, the best part was this line:
‘Capital, my brother, it’s just Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new album, Whiny Cat.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of rock opera. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Queen again. ‘What is this fuckwad?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Bummer, my brother, it’s just Queen’s new album, Dollop Hotthrob.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with voluptuous Philadelphia Cheese slippers.
‘Asslicker, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking lying!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X giddyupping a civilian vampire. With a bungee cord.’
‘Time to bellow. Noxiously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to harden some orange vibrators.’
These were hilarious. I had to go calm myself in the hallway before I embarrassed myself in front of my co-workers.
Wrath opened the door to the sound of polka. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Kenny G again. ‘What is this asshat?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Neato, my brother, it’s just Kenny G’s new album, Bloody Watch.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with skanky Playtex ice skates.
‘Fucktard, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking tumescent!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X boning a civilian vampire. With a Post It Note.’
‘Time to scarf. Wearily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to crap some early nails.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of jazz. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Manhattan Transfer again. ‘What is this cocksucker?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Phresh, my brother, it’s just Manhattan Transfer’s new album, Scorching Thong.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with lovely Advil pickles.
‘Hot damn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking impressive!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X fondling a civilian vampire. With a yogurt.’
‘Time to breach. Friendly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to treasure some exquisite harpies.’
—
My verification word is came55. It’s true. I came at least 55 times reading these madlibs. Made of awesome!
I did this at work but then I couldn’t post it because the filter on my computer at work considered the comment section “porn”.
(Bear in mind, when I couldn’t think of a word for a category, I stole one from an ad that was playing—bet you can’t guess which one…)
Wrath opened the door to the sound of acid jazz. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Vanilla Ice again. ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rad, my brother, it’s just Vanilla Ice’s new album, Gassy Nobody.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with gooey Papa John’s cheesesticks.
‘Gawd-damn motherfucking son-of-a-bitch, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking golden!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X prancing around a civilian vampire. With a pogo stick.’
‘Time to lave. Hastily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to chew some clanging trains.’
Is it my birthday already? It could be because I wished for the Doc Turtle mad libs and voila, here they are! And awesome too. Once the laughter dies down a bit, I’ll go out and try one for myself.
What fun!!!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Opera. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Mick Jagger again. ‘What is this fuck a duck?’ Wrath demanded.
‘It is a huckleberry above a persimmon, my brother, it’s just Mick Jagger’s new album, Hot pink Cream cheese.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with fat Mercedes Benz rockets.
‘Screw it, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking fizzy!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X carrying a civilian vampire. With a needle.’
‘Time to create. Bodaciously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get some rusty pillows.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of soft pop. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Celine Dion again. ‘What is this f^&*%!?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Chillio, my brother, it’s just Celine Dion’s new album, Ravishingly Handsome Musket.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with titillating Jello corsets.
‘Sh!$*!, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking fiery!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X subduing a civilian vampire. With a geranium.’
‘Time to pant. Roughly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get taken to some persuasive archives.’
This was fun! I’m a little worried by titillating Jello corsets, though.
Ha! Love Madlibs!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of polka. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Coldplay again. ‘What is this shitbucket?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Oy vey, my brother, it’s just Coldplay’s new album, Dry Handbag.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with tangled Huggies light bulbs.
‘Cock knocker, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking dusty!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X swinging a civilian vampire. With a photo album.’
‘Time to get. Slinkily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to lick some clear bananas.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of soft rock. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Sting again. ‘What is this crap?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Sting’s new album, Funny Poker.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with unusual IKEA geese.
‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking special!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X liking a civilian vampire. With a feather.’
‘Time to walk. Loudly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to topple some red phones.’
Okay this is actually my second try b/c I lost the first one. I tried to use the same words. My favorite part is “Word, my brother.” I’m going to have to start using that. =)
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Wrath opened the door to the sound of country. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Willie Nelson again. ‘What is this dumbass?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Word, my brother, it’s just Willie Nelson’s new album, Horny Mob.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with bodacious Dr. Pepper pills.
‘Damn it, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking hairy!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X fucking a civilian vampire. With a planet.’
‘Time to jump up and down. Quickly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to sucking balls some jiggly shoes.’
Dr. Turtle wins at the internet!
Ya’ll are killing me with these MadLibs!
Here’s mine:
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Nerdcore. Tohr and Rhage were listening to MC Frontalot again. ‘What is this Bitches?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Shiznit, my brother, it’s just MC Frontalot’s new album, Shy Robot.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with Hot Pepsi Buns.
‘Cock Gobbler, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking Crazy!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X Flashing a civilian vampire. With a Cunt.’
‘Time To Beat. Furiously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get Screw some Sweet Feet.’
Hurrah! Doc Turtle and mad libs are full of win and then some!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of disco. Tohr and Rhage were listening to The BeeGees again. ‘What is this Assmonkey?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Far out, my brother, it’s just The BeeGees’s new album, Turgid Member.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with throbbing keebler globes.
‘Dickcheese, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking rigid!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X rubbing a civilian vampire. With a dirk.’
‘Time caress. Slickly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get has some swollen mounds.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of classical. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Beethoven again. ‘What is this cocksucker?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Radical, my brother, it’s just Beethoven’s new album, Stiff Hoo hoo.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with slick Kodak nipples.
‘Damn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking aroused!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X thrusting a civilian vampire. With a flower.’
‘Time to hump. Firmly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to lick some aching buns.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Balkan folk. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Ayde Mori again. ‘What is this Odin’s testicle?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Rad, my brother, it’s just Ayde Mori’s new album, Smarmy Window.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with eloquent Sunkist Post-it Notes (TM).
‘Poop, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking crenellated!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X grasping a civilian vampire. With a transmission.’
‘Time to enamel. Throatily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to spiral-bind some disfunctional ice cubes.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of thrash-country. Tohr and Rhage were listening to John Denver again. ‘What is this Jumpin’ Jehosephat?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Leapin’ Lizards, my brother, it’s just John Denver’s new album, Sly Hampster.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with callous Mary Poppin’s Own trees.
‘Dagnabit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking authentic!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X farming a civilian vampire. With a spoon.’
‘Time to perform. Nearly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get groveling some moody biscuits.’
Thank you, Doc Turtle!
Again, again!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of Crunkcore. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Brokencyde again. ‘What is this Turd Sandwich?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Hood Rats, my brother, it’s just Brokencyde’s new album, Swanky Twat.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with Swollen Tampax Balls.
‘Dingleberry, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking Sweet!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X Taunting a civilian vampire. With a Doll.’
‘Time To Fuck. Vigorously.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get To Hump some Sweaty Furries.’
Wrath opened the door to the sound of salsa. Tohr and Rhage were listening to John Tesh again. ‘What is this dang?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Hep cat, my brother, it’s just John Tesh’s new album, Funky Love’s Baby Soft.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with fresh Keds cowboys.
‘Bugger, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking odiferous!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X loathing a civilian vampire. With a pleather.’
‘Time to screw. Barkingly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to punish some squiffy biscuits.’
OMG, the best part are the compound swearwords that are new to me!
Wrath opened the door to the sound of country. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Brad paisley again. ‘What is this crap?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Homes, my brother, it’s just Brad paisley’s new album, Sparkly Train.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with fun prada dogs.
‘Bitch, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking pretty!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X doing a civilian vampire. With a bird.’
‘Time to drive. Huskily.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get to break some wicked candles.’
TOO HILARIOUS. Here’s Mine:
Wrath opened the door to the sound of polka. Tohr and Rhage were listening to Cousin Fuzzy again. ‘What is this bollocks?’ Wrath demanded.
‘Mad aleck, my brother, it’s just Cousin Fuzzy’s new album, Zany Air.’
Just then Fritz came in. With a tray laden with fat Kraft cats.
‘Twat, Fritz!’ cried Rhage. ‘These are fucking huge-normous!’
Vishous came in, dagger drawn. ‘The lessers are back. I caught Mr. X pissing, behind a civilian vampire. With a consonant.’
‘Time shouted. Deftly.’ said Wrath.
‘Whatever,’ said Rhage. ‘I don’t care as long as I get back some aubergine sails.’