A friend of mine (who is, I shit you not, an itinerant puppeteer by profession) came up with a fantastic idea: writing dirty limericks about the many, many ridiculous town names in Washington.
And dude doesn’t fuck around. The limericks are DIRTY. Also totally awesome.
So, given the caveat that this isn’t even remotely work-safe (unless your work is OK with you reading poetry about itchy crotches, and hey, some of them may be *waves to Ellora’s Cave staff*), check out the truthfully-named-if-somewhat-ungainly-sounding Dirty Limericks Based on Washington State Town Names.
(Somebody can perhaps start a blog writing dirty limericks about ridiculous Quebecois town names? Starting with St-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!? Think of the bilingual possibilities!)
THE BITCHERY IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*happy dances around the room*
If I were a better rhymer, I’d try some of those limericks with Oklahoma place names. We’ve got some fun ones, like Slap Out, Bow Legs and…Beaver (town and county).
Hee! Word is nature56. I may be almost 56 but I’m not ready to get back to nature!
I’m partial to St.-Tite myself.
Although a Newfoundland series would be good too, and it’d almost be bilingual, me old trout.
PS is there a reason why login isn’t working?
Please tell me I don’t need to plug any of them into my GPS system, Silver!!!
I was kind of disappointed that he didn’t get to Sequim, WA (pronounced squim). But to balance things out, you’re back, you’re back and we missed you! Twitter just doesn’t cut it for the daily SB fix.
I thought there would be more 🙁
Where is Humptulips? Puyallup? Ephrata, Umatilla, and… Walla Walla?
some of my favorite OK town names include Bug Tussle, Paul’s Valley, Jollyville and Johnsonville. My favorite exit off of I-35 is to Wayne and Payne- I’ve always wondered what caused Wayne Payne and if he liked it.
Awesome! I love that he mentioned both the town I grow up in (Kent) and the town where I live (Tacoma). Yay! It’s kinda said that this makes me so happy.
Funny stuff!
Not as poetic, but also funny, is this article from the New York Times about British place names. I have actually been to Penistone, pronounced “Pennistun” and spelled just like they quote in the article: P-E-N (pause) I-S-T-O-N-E.
Welcome back, Smart Bitches—our world was a cleaner, sadder place while you were getting tuned up.
I was wondering whether someone had made use of “Sequim” myself (see also Omak, Okanogan, Twisp, Yakima, Pe Ell, and Lebam, among many others).
Having said that, one observation: I think the wordplay being practiced with these names is well-intentioned and funny, but I am a little concerned at hearing the names themselves described as “ridiculous”—a loaded word—simply because most of them are drawn from local Indian/Native American languages, and the usage might be read to imply ridicule of the languages and/or their originators.
On the other hand, having said that,….
A young woman residing in Forks
Had procured an abundance of corks.
At high speed, she’d expel
Them from—no, best not tell,
Or her friends will assault me with sporks.
A young artist who lived in Chehalis
Worked so slowly that words almost fail us.
Said his models one day,
“Yes, we know it’s risqué,
But we really do wish you’d unveil us!”
He totally used the easy ones. Several people have already decried the lack of Sequim, but what about Cle Elum, Sedro Wooley, Mukilteo, or Skykomish? What about Spanaway or George or Leavenworth or Ellensburg? My God, won’t somebody think of Centralia? 😀
I’ve never tried to write limericks before. Texas has so many odd names for small towns, it’s really tempting. Here are some:
Dime Box
Happy
Oatmeal
Dimple
Looneyville
Rambo
Blackjack
Democrat
Grit
Ben Ficklin
Fly Gap
If anyone comes up with some I’d love to hear it.
Hugs,
Tambra
Tambra, you left out Cut and Shoot.
And Waxahachie. (Whether you pronounce it Walks a hatch-ee, or Wax a hatch-ee—it’s bound to make a great limerick.) Also, as someone mentioned, Jollyville.
Mobeetie—and Old Mobeetie (like Old Dime Box)
Arp
Belk
Borger (with a hard G)
And let us not forget
Quanah or Quitaque (pronounced Kitty-quay)
I’ve actually finally been through Old Dime Box. I know where it is! (My parents used to live off Jollyville Road, but alas, Jollyville has mostly been swallowed by Austin and Round Rock.) (Between Bastrop and Caldwell) Hmm, Bastrop should have possibilities too…
Ack. No time for thinking up limericks…