Oh, the plus size heroine. You may choose from the following options:
1. She diets her way to happy endingness, because nothings says “blissful sex and unlimited love forever after” like losing weight and having thin thighs.
2. She diets her way to happy endingness after seeing the visual holyshit that is her head photoshopped onto a thin body. Once this, she suffers from absolutely no misapprehensions as to what her body looks like and instantly adapts to a gym-centric, carrot-stick-loving life, because thin is so in. (No, Jemima J, I have still not gotten over that one).
3. She’s the plucky, plump sidekick of awesome, a sterling character inside a sexually unacceptable and therefore sexually unthreatening character who compliments but doesn’t compete with the heroine.
4. Like the heroine who is so very very accomplished but does nothing but fuck up left right and center, she’ll go on and on about how big and unattractive she is, how she’s larger than the other women she knows and it bothers her, yadda yadda – and then you find out she’s a size 10 or some shit like that.
Weight is a tricky issue for the heroine, who must be a perfect embodiment of all that is perfect without pissing us readers off too much. Lately there have been more explorations into The Land of The Plus Size Heroine in all genres, but mostly it’s a matter of omission. As Robin Uncapher wrote back in 2006
Out-of-fashion beauty was one of the main problems our thin, wide-eyed heroines had to overcome. What these girls had to worry about was being too beautiful, so beautiful the randy heroes could not keep their hands to themselves.
More recently, though, something completely new has happened in the world of romance. A small number of romance writers have been writing women who look more like most of us, not just by being plain, but by feeling overweight. Books like Ruth Wind’s Beautiful Stranger, Justine Davis’ A Whole Lot of Love, and Suzanne Brockmann’s Get Lucky started popping up.
Of course, as Robin points out, once you name a number as a size, a whole lotta women on either side of that number line up to argue about where the real “fat” line lies. Is it size 2? Is it size 14? Is it no size at all? Or is it every size, since so many women suffer under the idea that they are far, far too big for the ideal. Smart authors, if you ask me, leave it up to the reader and never name a number at all, leaving “plus size” in the mind’s eye of the beholder.
So are there plus size heroines that aren’t going to diet their way to happy endings, thereby reinforcing the damaging stereotype that only thin people deserve happiness? Are there heroines who remain their size and then move on to happiness? One Bitchery reader wrote:
I’m looking for romances that feature larger heroines. I’m wondering if you can poll the readers for their recommendations. I don’t care the sub-genre of romance, I just want to have a list of books that feature larger women.
The Rotund did a romance novel review in which the heroine was constantly bringing up her eating habits even though she was an okay size.
It got me thinking that I hadn’t read many and so I’ve gone looking and found some to order, but just want extra feedback.
Thanks to Barb Ferrer, I have read A Whole Lot of Love (among the worst titles ever, really) and it’s marvelous. The heroine, Layla Laraway, is a larger woman blessed with a hot-sex-on-chocolate-silk voice, and she’s a fundraising mastermind. When she meets The Hero, a hottie mchot executive named Ethan, he’s initially smitten with her voice, and has to adjust to the fact that his imagination of what she looked like doesn’t match reality (which he does quickly, thank heaven).
Her insecurities are real, but only part of the obstacles between them, and the heroine herself is marvy. In fact, Alzheimer’s Disease is often more of a focus in the narrative than Layla’s size. And, most importantly, her size is part of her character, not an obstacle to her happy ending – as in, she doesn’t have to make half of herself disappear to earn her future happiness.
So what other plus-size heroines have you read and liked? And which ones made you want to scream at the reinforcement of what The Rotund calls the “hegemony of Thin?”
ETA: While wandering around my house far, far from the reaches of the internet (it’s a scary place, that part of the house – there’s a mountain of laundry that never gets smaller) I realized that there are actually potentially two types of plus-size heroines. One: the kind for whom weight is a conscious issue but hopefully for the sake of a narrative not the only issue, and two: a plus size heroine whose size is a matter of fact element to the story, who doesn’t agonize over it at all.
It seems to me (and I haven’t caffeinated yet fully so I am happy to be disagreed with) that the place in which the openly imperfect heroine* most comfortably resides is historical romance. There are some historical heroines who aren’t visually perfect, for weight reasons or otherwise (note: examples blocked by lack of caffeine), but of course the hero, through the rose-colored lenses of her Magic Hoo Hoo, finds her fascinating. In contemporary romances, it might be more difficult to create an openly imperfect* heroine for weight reasons specifically because of the fatism that affects contemporary society, wherein if you’re fat you’re presumably lazy.
Are there heroines, in any time period, who are totally accepting of their size? Are there well-adjusted women of size in romance?
*Note: *I* for God’s sake do not think any amount of weight up or down is an imperfection. (My post partum ass, let me show you it. Next week.) I am referring to the standard of perfect imposed upon contemporary women, which currently seems to follow a “you should look as bony and square as a 10 year old boy” visual style. So when I say “Visually imperfect” it’s not from my perspective that I’m labeling imperfection. You look marvelous just the way you are. Really.
I’ve enjoyed these books: Big Girls Don’t Cry by Cathie Linz, Real Women Don’t Wear Size 2 by Kelley St. John, The Perfect Wife by Lynsay Sands (And one of her Vampire books had a curvy heroine as well. I just can’t remember.), and have heard decent things about Take Me by Bella Andre.
Already mentioned, but The Corset Diaries by Katie MacAlister, Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer all were good, too.
I love Meg Cabot’s Heather Wells Mysteries. The titles would lead you to believe that they’re books about weight, but they aren’t The heroine Heather has curves but doesn’t seem interested in giving up the ice cream or getting up in the morning to exercise…she has bigger things on her mind like students being murdered!
Spinsterwitch, you just hit the nail on the head with this comment!! Thin does NOT = healthy!! I have a friend that is exactly what the world says us women should look like. She’s anorexic and she’s malnourished. Not exactly a picture of health. I am overweight but am actually much healthier than her. I take meds for reflux/heartburn which as I loose weight is getting better (YAY!) but still, if you put us side by side and asked “which is healthier” most people would pick her. They’d be wrong.
Thin people can be healthy, but overweight does not automatically mean BAM! instant health problems. Yes, you are getting into the danger zone~I don’t dispute that at all, my blood pressure was creeping up and that’s what kicked my in the butt to loose the weight. I’m just saying that thin does not = healthy.
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned Eileen Wilks’ fun novel MIDNIGHT CINDERELLA. It was a Harlequin Desire I believe, a few years back.
Heroine in this one qualifies because she’s more worried about improving her vocabulary than her “hourglass figure”. The author makes it quite clear she’s a plus-size and quite comfortable in her own skin.
As long as Mr. Right finds her appealing…now what was that Word of the Day?
Or even think overly much as to WHY someone might be thin. Want to know what’s effed up? I have a chronic illness that, amongst its glorious and myriad side effects, causes me to lose weight . I am on the small side to begin with, but you wouldn’t believe how many compliments I get WHEN I’M SICK.
Sometimes I just don’t …know what to say.
I have to endorse Night Play as well. Bride and Vane’s story centers around self acceptance, and it wonderful to see them both come to terms with themselves as they are rather than as they think their families would like them to be. Kenyon makes a point in this book and an earlier one about Bride being voluptuous and worth far more than she thinks.
Honestly, what I find appealing in this book is the coming to terms with self rather than the fact that he finds her size 18 figure appealing.
Ugh, this argument is so tired, and so, so untrue. You can be unhealthy skinny and you can be unhealthy fat. Why does everyone feel the need to guide the poor, stupid fat girl to the salad bar all the @#$%ing time?
If I can’t read a book where a heroine looks like me, it’s for my own good? Because otherwise, I’ll just be content to ignore any possible health problems I have, simply because of a piece of fiction?
Lord, Sarah, I have a post-partum ass, too. Being pregnant with my son four years ago was the first time in my entire life I gave myself free license to eat when and what I wanted, and man, did I. I gained over 60 pounds with him. I lost a lot of it, but when I was pregnant with my daughter year before last, I was a lot more careful about my eating habits. I didn’t gain as much weight with her, and have managed to lose it in the two years since. I’m at my pre-son-pregnancy weight, and want to lose 20 more pounds—not because I have the same insecurities and body dysmorphic issues I fear I had as a young woman (and which prompted me to flirt with eating disorders in the reckless folly of my vain and misguided youth), but because I want to get out of the risk categories I’m currently in for adult-onset diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. I have been watching what I eat and exercising, especially over the last month with the pressure for RWA National on (not to mention this sweet freakin’ dress I bought for the Kensington cocktail party and the bad as hell shoes to match…!). I’m really embarrassed by how easily I’ve dropped 10 pounds in 5 weeks—by eating good-for-me-stuff and getting off my ass and hoofing 1.33 miles on my treadmill three nights a week. I say embarrassed because it makes me realize just how lazy I can be sometimes, and just how lousy my food choices can be. (Even if things that are deep-fried and cheese-dipped are sooooooo yummy…)
So what the hell was I talking about again? I got distracted by thoughts of cheese. Oh, yeah, plus sized heroines. I would love to read about them. I would love to write about them. Because I’m one of them, damn it. And as I told my husband the other day, “It’s nice to see a woman who’s not all sticks and bones—one that looks like she’s eaten a goddamn sandwich!”
Sara
Who is overdue on the treadmill. Because I had (*gulp*) french fries and chicken nuggets for supper. The curse of momhood.
I am really, really going to try not to make this a thread-jack again, but I feel the need to chime in on this, too. WandaSue– you shared your story and your opinions, and I think most people are reminding themselves not to read emotions and inflections into your comments, but are having negative reactions to them. It seems to me like you are not willing to consider the idea of body types (meaning metabolisms) and body shapes.
You say you were size 16 at 5’1” and for health reasons you made a change. That is good, and I am glad for anyone who is being healthy. Unfortunately, you DO seem to be making a value statement about people who haven’t made the decision you have, for any reason. You do seem to be equating plus-sized with overweight and overweight with fat and fat with unhealthy.
To me, it’s a question of who’s making the decisions about the standards (not of beauty, but of medical definitions), which is why I want to thank SpinsterWitch for chiming in.
I am 5’6” and 12/14. I am 42-32-44 and I weigh 175 pounds. I have a sneaking suspicion that I’d be fat by the standards you seem to be throwing out. But since you brought up health: my cholesterol is 126, my blood pressure’s 110/70, and I’ve consistently had my other levels test as normal for my annual physical (for as long as I can recall).
At a size 6, I would look ridiculous. I do have a large bone structure (it doesn’t just occur in the tall). And, no, I would never choose a 6 over another size, even if that meant 16. I have been 16, and I was not happy there, but I was not any happier as a 10.
J. Armintrout is right, it is a tired argument, and it sets people off. I apologize for taking too much time on this segue-topic and not Plus-Sized heroines. I like to read about plus-sized heroines, because 9 times out of 10 their bodies are normal and more accurately reflect the normal woman in the real world.
I’ve noticed the “romance is my fantasy” argument come up a lot and I can’t help but put my two cents in on that.
Speaking from someone who reads in the fantasy and sci-fi genre as well as romance, the best fantasies are spiced with reality. You can have a fantasy of beautiful settings and gorgeous clothes and an exciting lifestyle, but lots of readers (like me, for example), want some flaws and reality mixed in because it makes the fantasy ACCESSIBLE.
If perfect, gorgeous hot man falls for perfect gorgeous hot woman – who the hell cares? Without flaws of some kind, there wouldn’t a story in the first place and the characters wouldn’t have appealing personalities. Most of the time in romances the flaws are internal or societal – the perfect gorgeous hot man is poor and can’t marry the rich perfect gorgeous hot woman, etc, or the perfect gorgeous hot man is too damaged from a childhood trauma of being beaten with a frozen fish to express his feelings for the perfect gorgeous hot woman.
But I really, REALLY don’t think you have to limit the flaws and obstacles to inward things – a heroine’s weight or a man’s looks can serve as excellent examples of what a couple has to overcome to get their HEA.
I mean, if on the off chance I found a guy who’d laugh at my jokes, made me chocolate cake and waffles in bed, loved books, adored me like the goddess I am and was well-versed in the sensual arts (and, er, willing to wait until marriage to make full use of them) – do you really think I’d turn him down because he had a wart on his neck or extra hair on his chest or was fat? HELL no.
I find it funny that the novel that turned me off to romance books when I was in high school and then a novel that got me back into it a few years ago…were both with plus-sized heroines.
I picked up Jennifer Weiner’s “Good in Bed” because I took a tour of the Philadelpha Inquirer for journalism class when she was working there. The book was brought up and talked about. It sounded good. And I loved it. The first half. And then Cannie lost the weight and I felt like I was kind of cheated out of the whole thing. The second she lost the weight, she got her HEA which was so annoying to me then. I was 17, 5’0” and a size 18 so the last thing I wanted is a heroine to prove my opinions about my own weight right. No romance for Melly until I’m skinny. I got really soured on the whole genre.
About two years later, a friend linked me to Jennifer Crusie’s Bet Me when the first chapter was available online just before it was published. I preordered the book the same night and it reignited my love affair with romance novels because I really felt like Min could be me in five years and I liked the fantasy that I can have a HEA without losing the weight.
I’m 24 now, still 5’0” and still a size 18 (though I veer into a 20 when I’m unemployed and depressed) but thanks to reading books like Bet Me and others by Crusie (not to mention one of my ex-boyfriends), I feel like it’s okay to be that size. I’m not unhealthy (not really…in another few years, it will probably be a problem I know) but I don’t feel like I have to lose the weight to be happy, which is the only thing that Good in Bed made me feel like. I’ve never read another Weiner book since and I won’t again.
And let me tell you. Things change. Since my husband and I met 15 years ago he has sprouted a whole lot more hairs on his chest and BACK (and out his ears. . . .) and lost that much on top of his head. I’ve gained 50 lbs. and lost 20 of that.
Do I still think he’s sexy? Oh yeah. I’ve learned to love the extra hair LOL Does hubby still find me sexy~fluctuating weight and all? He says so and his actions sure prove it.
That’s the point for me. Not if the plus size heroine is PC or if she’s healthy. It’s that some of us want romance to reflect real life. And real life means people of all shapes and sizes that can and DO fall in love and find each other irresistible.
I know my hubby is not someone that women stop and do a double look at. He never has been. He’s not ugly, but not Hottie McHottie either. But I find him sexy. That, to me, is what romance is all about. The author should show me why the heroine finds the hero sexy. Warts and all.
I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned it yet, but Meg Cabot has a great series starting with Size 12 is Not Fat about an ex-pop star who was dropped from her label when she wanted to write legitimate music, instead of the stupid crap her record company wanted her to sling. That, and she had gained weight. Her weight is mentioned throughout the series but not in an irritating way – more, she wonders frequently why thinness matters so much. I highly recommend them, though she doesn’t get The Guy until the last (third) of the series, Big Boned.
If perfect, gorgeous hot man falls for perfect gorgeous hot woman – who the hell cares? Without flaws of some kind, there wouldn’t a story in the first place and the characters wouldn’t have appealing personalities.
Amen to that.
It’s that some of us want romance to reflect real life. And real life means people of all shapes and sizes that can and DO fall in love and find each other irresistible.
And amen to that too.
It sounds like for many readers, part of the enjoyment of a romance novel is imagining oneself as the young, beautiful and perfect heroine. But for me it doesn’t work that way. I can’t identify with that heroine. And I feel like the implicit message in that sort of book is “if you’re young, beautiful and flawless, you’ll get your HEA. If not… tough luck.” I get enough of that message already. I don’t need any more of it.
That’s why I prefer a romance novel with a more flawed (i.e. normal) heroine. That changes to book’s message to, “Anyone can get their HEA if they find the right guy,” which I find a lot more appealing. I don’t demand that the hero be dead-drop gorgeous. In fact, I prefer it when he’s not. I think that guy from
The Raven Prince
with the smallpox scars is the sexiest romance novel hero I’ve ever read.
It’s hard for me to find the kind of romance novel I like. The market doesn’t seem to be targeted to people like me, so I read mostly from other genres. But I do keep an eye out for that odd romance novel that says “normal people find love too, not just the beautiful people.”
I’m 5’10 and weigh at this writing 178#. I wear a size 16/18. If you’re 230 in a size 12, it must be pure muscle. Good on you!
And I just have to comment…my Captcha for this comment is friends69.
I’d say that’s more than friends, wouldn’t you?
Well, when I was “thin” which was thin to me, I weighed 175 and wore a 12/14 and I am only 5’4”. It really depends on how you are built. I weigh about 240 now and wear a 20/22. I’m trying to get back to the 12/14. Lost 20 lbs so far.
I’ve been fascinated by these wise, funny, intelligent posts. Wow to the bitchery!
FWIW, my theory:
1) It can be hard for someone to keep loving you if you don’t even like yourself.
2) It’s hard to like yourself if society is saying you should hate yourself.
3) Big can be healthy, unfit and unexercised isn’t healthy at any size.
4) Prejudice works on the basis of immediate appearance, not intimate knowledge (just one of the myriad stupidities of prejudice), so anyone who is big can be hated (and no, not putting it too strongly).
5) For me, fighting the prejudice against being big is easier now I’ve taken up doing more exercise than the average (not too difficult, actually, the average is depressingly low), although I will admit I’d prefer to be the sort of person that could take up arms on the issue regardless.
6) It’s easier to be nice to (the unprejudiced bit of) the world now I’m happy with my physical self (and evidence tends to suggest I may be easier to love…..).
Now I’m off to read some of the recommendations by the bitchery. Looking forward to some heroines who are big and live life to the full.
When I lived in the US I used to get a catalogue from Old Pueblo Traders that had a lot of affordable brightly colored suits and matching hats. I used to wish I could order some but knew I’d never have the occasion to wear them.
Very true. I’m fairly thin (edging bigger once I passed the big 5-0) and for most of my life I did barely any exercise and didn’t care what I ate. I was in terrible physical shape with no muscle tone and no endurance at all but no one ever called me on it because I was thin. OTOH, when I was living in San Francisco, Jazzercise didn’t want to hire an overweight fitness instructor, who later sued for discrimination and won. For more on overweight trainers, see this New York Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/01/fashion/thursdaystyles/01FITNESS.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1
Which is too bad, because the follow up this year, Certain Girls, shows not only does she put it back on, but her HEA from Good in Bed, doesn’t care, still, all these years later. In many ways I think I enjoyed this one better than GIB. However, it is a tear jerker.
I second (or fifth, maybe) this. I was 5’4 1/2” & 111 lbs when I went into the Air Force. I was a big ole couch potato at that tender age of 17 who would rather read or watch tv than run around outside and I paid for it in Basic training. The med clinic probably saw me at least once a week with blisters, shin splints, the flu, more shin splints, the flu again, and more shin splints. This was over a 6 week period! I left Basic at 115 lbs and tech school at 118 lbs and that’s where I stayed after 2 kids. I ate whatever I wanted, didn’t exercise a lick, & drank alcohol on a regular basis. I was not healthy and, due to other issues, was not happy. Do you think it occurred to anybody that that was the case? Nope.
Go forward about 20 years and things are pretty different. Between the metabolism slowing down and the partial hysterectomy, I’ve put on some serious weight (compared to how I used to be). But I’ve quit smoking, I don’t drink at all, and I’ve cut most of the sugar and trans fats out of my diet. I’m trying to eat healthy and not snack so much, though it can be hard now that I can’t light up whenever I get the urge. I still think exercise is about the most boring thing ever, so I’m having a hard time getting motivated in that direction. That said, though, I’m so much happier with my life, in general. Obviously, I’m much healthier without the smoking and all that refined sugar. Tell that to those that knew me when I was 118 lbs versus now, though. Sheesh! Yeah, I need to lose some weight, but isn’t it better if I’m a bit heavier and a lot happier than vice versa?
I quit smoking over 24 years ago and still have the desire to lite up. Quitting was where I put on my weight, so it was a trade off. And I agree exercise is the most boring thing going. I toy with the idea of an exercycle in my little sitting room so I can watch tv or read while I am doing it. Although I do refuse to give up alcohol completely! gotta have one vice. Besides shoes and books. And chocolate.
And I agree, much better to be happy and a little heavy, than skinny and miserable.
I grew up on a farm. I know physical labor when I do it. I am also one of those small, but big boned women. I don’t look like my weight, but much of it is muscle. I still garden and do all the lawn work and most of the physical work needed to keep a home running. and like Spider, my blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar, etc are all with in the acceptable range (sometimes to low) and my doctor has told me flat out he can’t honestly tell me to lose weight because of health reasons, expecially when he needs to.
My body is happy where it is. So am I. And that is what gives me the confidence to be who I am. And to enjoy the curves and clevage and not only show them off but flaunt them. And flaunt the clevage I do. LOL
Catherine Anderson’s Sweet Nothings features a plus-sized heroine who is smart, sweet, and has a sense of humor. Alpha-male hero loves her curves, though he does not, at first, love her cooking (she’s a vegetarian, he’s strictly meat and potatoes). There’s a nice shopping-fantasy scene in which heroine is transformed from drab to fab, but she’s never pressured to lose weight, simply to dress in brighter, more complexion-flattering colors to correspond to her increasing self-esteem.
I remember reading a story years ago where the heroine, who was fat, went on a fat cruise and came back after 6wks to 2 months or so (maybe longer??) and was all svelte and sexy and then she went back to the hero who didn’t love her cause she was fat. ick. I think it was one of the first books I every really wanted to throw at a wall. Thankfully I don’t remember the title.
I know they aren’t categorized as romances but Joann Fluke’s Hannah Swensen Mysteries show a good well adjusted heroine who focuses on food only because the books include recipes and she owns a bakery. Despite having a mother who is always trying to get her to loose weight and two thin sisters she doesn’t sit around all the time griping about her size. There was actually only one book in the series that showed her dieting and that was due to a mix-up from shopping with her skinny sister. And before you say she doesn’t have any romantic interests, she juggles two guys and solving murders.
Cathie Linz’s Big Girls Don’t Cry featured a heroine who is a plus-sized model (and who’s actually plus-sized, to boot). Granted, the story kind of irked me because I felt like she banged the reader upside the head with the “love your body” message, but it was refreshing to see a plus-sized heroine in a romance novel.
Of course, there’s always Jen Weiner’s books (I can’t ever say enough about Good In Bed and Certain Girls).
And, uh, my alter ego Renae has a novella up over at Loose Id featuring a plus-sized heroine who is quite well-adjusted. In fact, it’s in an anthology featuring TWO plus-sized heroines. In fact, Loose Id is very plus-friendly, which was one of the many reasons I was attracted to them as a publisher.
Inappropriate Men by Stacey Ballis features a plus-sized heroine who has little, if any, problem with her self-image. I don’t remember her exact size, but she definitely wasn’t a “OMG I’m fat because I’m a size 12” girl. She was a big, beautiful, and most of all, confident woman.
I skimmed the last 50 or so posts but Sarah Strohmeyers’s Cinderella Pact is another fave of mine—though it’s more women’s fiction than romance. AND the heroines are all older (relatively speaking). By the end of the book I definitely think that at least the lead character learns that thin doesn’t equal happy. I love this book (like a fat kid loves cake)—and I’ve battled my weight all my life.
I’ve also written fat heroines. One had issues—big issues and I couldn’t sell the book(BTW the hero is in his 30’s and balding but sexay as HELL!). In another book the heroine didn’t have issues and was e-published—it’s a book people tend to love or dislike but I gave the hero the big issues and made my tall, voluptuous heroine the one with the confidence. Her weight is NOT an issue and she’s probably one of my fave all-time characters.
I want to be Betti when I grow up 🙂
Romance novels with plus-size heroines, and where to find them.
My name is Pat Ballard. I have 6 romance novels in print with what I call Big Beautiful Heroines. I also have a compilation of short stories with BBHeroines, and my first nonfiction, 10 Steps To Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are) was published in June.
My heroines are either happy with themselves when they enter the story or they’re happy with themselves before the story ends. I will
NEVER put one of my heroines on a diet.
I don’t put a specific size on my heroines because I want each person to read the story and be able to picture themselves as the heroine. But it is well known in each book that the heroine is a large woman.
Also, I have varied sized heroes, anywhere from “Probably over 300 pounds” to “average-to small.” Again, I try not to deal in specific sizes for the heroes.
One publisher I tried to deal with insisted that I put a specific size on my heroines, but I refused. My argument to her was that the mainstream novels don’t put a specific size on their heroines, so why should I have to. Some kind of reference might be made to size in the mainstream romances, like “his hands could span her small waist,” but not, “she was a perfect size “0.”
In spite of popular belief to the contrary, I’m a healthy fat woman. My blood pressure is normal, my cholesterol and triglycerides are great, and everything else about me is working just fine.
I’m an active promoter and believer of Health At Every Size that was mentioned on this list. We all are genetically programmed with a body type. We should all try to maintain a healthy lifestyle no matter what size we are, then we should allow ourselves and our fellow humans to be happy with who we/they are.
I starved myself from the time I was 11 years old until I was 33 years old trying to fit into the mold that I was told I should be in.
I don’t fit that mold. My gene pool refuses to allow me to be in that mold without keeping myself hungry and miserable, which I refuse to do.
We are all a wonderful one-of-a-kind work of art. Each one of our bodies is different. We should celebrate the difference instead of trying to all look like the clone of a runway model who has to keep herself starved to look the way she does.
Anyone interested can read the first chapters of my books free at my website, http://www.patballard.com
You can also read and get a copy of my 10 Steps To Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are). Just the steps are free, not the book. I wrote these steps for myself when I stopped dieting, to help me remember my focus.
Pat Ballard
http://www.patballard.com
First off, I second (or third, or fourth, or whatever) Laura Kinsale’s “Seize the Fire” as a perfect example of what a so-called “plus size romance” should be, i.e., well written.
Being plus-sized myself I’d love to read more plus size romances, and not *just because* I’d like to see myself reflected in popular culture although that’s definitely a big plus. Being fat means being invisible in our culture… or, when we’re represented at all it’s as some sort of joke, “Ha ha, look at that fattie make a complete ass of herself, thinking she deserves love and good sex” (pun intended.) And it’s not even that there aren’t men who are turned on by larger women… although thanks to the never-ending hating on of us the ones who do escape brainwashing still often end up feeling embarassed to be seen liking us.
I agree with the people who posted saying they’d like to see more variety in people, both heroines and heroes, because that’s what makes for good, interesting writing, something that doesn’t degenerate into exactly what non-romance readers accuse the genre of being: a bunch of shallow, formulaic, unoriginal, escapist tripe. But from a human and social standpoint, it’s important to have popular culture that reflects all of us. I agree with Esri Rose – a large part of improving our self image is seeing people who look like us who are attractive and loveable… and also fighting back when people tell us that we aren’t. I think the reason fat blogs, size acceptance, and the increasing popularity of plus sized characters is because more people are doing just that. And that’s good for everyone, whatever your size.
Also, what is romance supposed to be about if not love (and sex). Sexiness is definitely in the eye of the beholder… and personally, I think sexy is as sexy does. A character’s personality is what makes them sexy, although it’s a hell of a lot harder to show that than just say “S/He’s good looking and has a great bod.” At the same time, I think I would have a hard time with a hero that was short, balding and tubby… Hmmm… Well, I dare someone to write a story with a male lead like that and make me fall in love with him – I’d love to read it!
Ditto JaniceG’s recommendation of Earthy Delights, which is indeed available in the US. The sequel just came out here! I liked both that the heroine doesn’t have issues with her weight (I think she was size 22, and she thinks of herself as fat, but doesn’t seem bothered by it) and that her lover actually liked that she was fat, rather than just “seeing her inner beauty” or something. He’d been at war and seen lots of starving people, and to him, fat was about life and plenty and happiness.
Also word-up to those who mentioned Miles Vorkosigan as a hot, but no good-looking, hero. The guy’s a hyper-active midget with lots of physical deformities, scars, and emotional issues. It is all about personality! Also with the imperfect men: “Soon I Will Be Invincible.” Not at all romantic, but one of the superheroes admits she had an affair with the never-hot, now-over-the-hill, slightly potbellied villain; when one of the other women is asking if he was more attractive years earlier, she says, “It wasn’t like that… he made me laugh.” For fantasizing purposes, smoldering heroes with wash-board abs are great, but in real life? I’ll take the guy who makes me laugh any day.
AMEN
I hated that jerkwad book Jemima J. I think it left a dent in my wall given how hard I threw it.
It is nice to see more than a few of us wanting more variety in our heroines. I get tired of the same old thing.
*sighs* NaNoWriMo is right around the corner. After reading this and other posts about plus-size heroines, I think it’s time for me to tackle a romance as this year’s project. It’ll never see light of day because I truly am a horrible writer, but at least I’ll have fun writing it.
So many have already mentioned Cabot and Crusie that I’ll plug Elizabeth Neff Walker’s An Abundant Woman . Much of the angst came from the hero dealing with his and other peoples reactions to his desiring and possibly being happy with a fat woman. I appreciated that many of the heroines concerns revolved around whether she wanted to invest time and effort in a man she felt she could love when he didn’t seem to trust his attraction to her.
In the same vein, Monica Jackson’s The Look of Love features nurse exploring a relationship with doctor despite meddling and disapproval from his family.
Oh yeah, I also loved Elizabeth Young’s Asking for Trouble. Heroine Sophie is so funny and cool that I got the audiobook and listen to it all the time.
Some ebook faves are JC Wilder’s Tactical Maneuver and Tactical Pleasure. I also enjoyed the 72 pages of Amie Stuart’s Big Girl’s Guide to Buying Lingerie, but got too busy to finish.
I am so freakin’ excited to see this conversation here! Thanks, spinsterwitch, for bringing it up!
My personal romance preferences tend toward contemporary stuff with hot writing. Give me a flawed hero/heroine any day of the week and I will put down whatever I am doing to read that story. Seriously, nothing is more boring than a person who has everything, does everything right, and never has to deal with more than a broken nail. I read for fantasy purposes but a fantasy that has a touch of reality? Something that could actually happen? That’s what I’m after.
And, you know, all the anti-fat arguments are both old and weak. Health is not a moral issue and health as we tend to define it in our current society is not something most people can attain anyway. Got allergies? No health for you! Got a chronic illness? Still no health for you! Differently abled? You don’t get to be healthy! Got a mental issue that you are/are not dealing with successfully? You guessed it.
That’s bullshit, y’all.
As for the whole idea that the fat woman with the hot guy is never realistic…. I hella wish someone had told me that before I dated all of those seriously killer hotties. I’d have known to turn them down and date men more on my own level. *eyeroll*
There’s a Harlequin Blaze that I read a few years ago and I have been trying to remember the title ever since. It featured a heroine who may very well have been genuinely plus-sized. She was a totally vibrant personality and she painted people with edible body paints, unless I am misremembering. She hooked up with a corporate type who really needed to let lose, and lived in a walk-up co-op type situation with a bunch of other personalities. Anyone else remember this book?
I don’t knwo if anybody else mentioned this book, but A Whole Lotta Lovin’ was a good anthology of plus-sized women who were positive about it. I read it a couple years ago when I was trying to read at least a couple books outside my comfort zone. It’s a great book, I really enjoyed it, except that I had the reverse of the body image problem: I am teeny. Itsy-bitsy, in every way. I love Jennifer Crusie but I have trouble reading her books sometimes because her faviorite adjective for the heroine’s body is “lush,” and the word lush only ever applies to me if I’ve been drinking. Now, where are the romance novels for flat-chested bony people, I’d like to know. 🙂
This really is an issue, and it’s HUGE with the male height issue. In every study scientists have done, the taller the guy, the more attractive women find him (I don’t know if they included someone Shaq’s height in those studies, tho.) However, I’m one of those oddities who is attracted to short men. I find them rather like dynamite—the tighter it’s packed, the more kapow it has—but it took me 10 years of being married to my short husband (who is exactly my height, but looks shorter due to the shoes/hair issue) to admit that I find him hot Because of his 5’8” height, and not In Spite of it. In my high school days, I spent a lot of time denying that I “liked” the short guys I had the hots for. By college, I was willing to go out with the shorter men, but didn’t think they’d ask me out. When my guy did, that was pretty much all it took. Even now, after many, many years of marriage, when I see an attractive short man, it takes me a while to unswallow my tongue. But people look at me weird when I admit this, because there is a HUGE cultural (or is it hard-wired?) bias in favor of tall men.
And if I could get down to a size 16, I’d be thrilled. At that size, I would be “thin.” But that’s 2 sizes away. Less birthday cake would help, I’m sure.
I wish I could remember other books with BBW heroines, but it’s true that they’re hard to find. Gerry Bartlett has a series that begins with REAL VAMPIRES HAVE CURVES that has a plus-sized vampire heroine…
I didn’t care about the appearance of the characters when I was 80 lb overweight according to health standards and I don’t care now that I’m 20 lb to go. Most of the times I don’t remember the descriptions the authors give and end up imagining them as I see fit to the story. I’ve never felt like projecting myself on the characters of a book and feel uncomfortable trying to imagine myself in their situations. I like reading because allows me to see other peoples lives, fictional or not, not because I want to live through them. One of the few stories that I remember made an impact on me was a Nora Roberts book (MacGregor Grooms) in which the heroine used to be overweight and even now she’s lost weight but still struggles with using food as an outlet for all the things that are wrong in her life. Now, that something I can relate to. Still, I don’t consider myself as a Naomi Brightstone wannabe, though the candy bag trick is very useful.
I don’t understand why people needs to make excuses and/or statements regarding their looks. Sometimes it feels like they need to be commended for whatever decisions they make, lose weight and be congratulated on their strength of will or keep their weight and be told that they’re doing right by not conforming to society’s standards or whatever. At the end of the day I think it comes to the point in which you choose to do whatever works better for you, and for me it was to ditch the habits that led me to obesity.
BTW, losing weight doesn’t save you from going to the shrink. Sir Mix-A-Lot might, though.
5’-8” is short for a man? :flabberghasted: My ex is 5’-6” and didn’t consider himself short. But then, it may have been easier for him to ignore with me, since I am 5’-1”.
What about the Meg Cabot series that started with Size 12 is Not Fat?
And it has been my experience that weight has little to do with getting dates. I have a good friend who is about 5’-6” and something like a size 28, and frankly, out of my whole group of friends, she is the one who gets the dates with the hotties. (And then she dumps them for not meeting her exacting standards.) However, she does complain that getting the man isn’t difficult, keeping him is. Apparently, there are a lot of guys out there who are reluctant to admit publicly (by such things as calling it an official relationship, etc.) that they like girls of all size, or even considerable size.
Mirain wrote:
You’ll be please to know that there are now three books in this Kerry Greenwood series: Earthly Delights, Heavenly Pleasures, and Trick or Treat.