Royally Screwed by Emma Chase was a book I was pretty pumped about, given how much I’ve enjoyed Chase’s blend of romance and humor in the past. Plus, it has a hunky royal hero and a heroine who throws a pie in his face. While the description had me salivating and clawing at my Kindle like Gollum on a rampage, the hero’s lack of growth and frequent douchery were a big letdown.

Nicholas is Prince of Wessco, a fictional country that has a lot of English elements. There’s a queen, there’s a parliament, and there’s a royal tragedy that leaves Nicholas and his brother Henry parentless at a young age. The Queen ideally wants to kick the princes’ asses into high gear as they’re now in their mid to late twenties. She wants Nicholas to get married at the end of the summer and to choose a suitable wife from a list. She also wants to travel to New York to collect his wayward, partying brother.

Olivia runs a cafe and pie shop called Amelia’s, named after her late mother. Her father drowned himself in drink following his wife’s death, leaving Olivia to run the place. She also has a plucky younger sister ready to head off to college. She’s proud, hard working, and I really liked her, save for a few quibbles.

Nicholas and Olivia have their meet-cute when he stops into her cafe. Nicholas is a bit buzzed and sexually propositions Olivia. Not knowing the jerk is a prince, she promptly shoves a pie in his face and he’s smitten. Because dude’s like a challenge, I suppose. Soon, Nicholas is returning to shop to apologize for his behavior and to convince Olivia to go out to dinner with him.

His identity doesn’t remain a secret for long as Olivia’s sister recognizes him immediately. Hello, she’s a late teen. I’m not surprised. I am, however, a little surprised that Olivia didn’t recognize him. I’m comparable in age and a workaholic, but I’m plugged into the internet and social media like crazy. I’m not saying there aren’t millennials (man, I dislike that term) who don’t eschew technology, but I found it rather unbelievable considering (if I’m not mistaken) there’s a TV on in the cafe sometimes. I’m sure Olivia would have picked up some bits and pieces of broadcasts about a hunky prince headed to New York.

The book started out totally fine. Olivia and Nicholas have a bit of a fun, whirlwind romance in the city with plenty of Cinderella moments. There’s a very odd stalker scene that sticks out like a sore thumb, but other than that, I’m on board. It wasn’t until Nicholas takes Olivia back to Wessco that I started having issues.

He finally confesses to Olivia that he’s destined to get married in four months as part of his royal duties, but maybe they could have a summer fling of a lifetime. Olivia says yes because Amelia’s has been her life and everyone thinks she deserves a little fun.

But once back in Wessco, Nicholas truly makes an ass of himself, over and over. He says some shitty things about Olivia to a fellow royal who wants Olivia when Nicholas is done with her (he’s playing a “part” when this happens and is trying to seem aloof, which, wtf dude). He tries to get Olivia to be his mistress after his marriage. Then, he believes that she’s betrayed a very personal secret of his to the press. WHEN THIS DAMN WOMAN TRAVELED ACROSS THE WORLD TO BE YOU WITH KNOWING IT WAS ONLY TEMPORARY!

Olivia is raw and vulnerable and sacrifices so much just to have this limited experience of happiness. Nicholas sees her hauling her drunken father into bed. He sees her discomfort and insecurities being out of her element in Wessco – both socially and financially. Meanwhile, all it seems he has to give her is a few flirtatious comments and, apparently, an amazing dick.

In my opinion, he wasn’t worthy of Olivia at all.

And back to that whole mistress thing. The Queen – his grandmother – firmly puts him in his place once she hears that idea. Because, and I’m paraphrasing, who gets shit on when a dude takes a mistress? The woman. All the vitriol and shame is aimed at the woman, instead of the man who is carrying on affairs. If he cares about Olivia at all, why would he want to subject her to that? He’s a bit of a selfish prick.

That being said, Royally Screwed does a great job of setting up the second book, Royally Matched. We meet Henry and he’s struggling with substance abuse issues and some trauma. Though he’s a secondary character, we get to see him try and get clean and get his act together. He’s the hero in the second book and he’s already done some growth in making himself into a better man and a better person.

We’re also briefly introduced to Royally Matched’s heroine, Sarah Mirabelle Zinnia Von Titebottum (pronounced tight bottom – *wiggles eyebrows*). She’s bookish and shy, which I love in my heroines. I either like ‘em bookish and nerdy or aggressive and brash. No middle ground for me! She shows up once in Royally Screwed and that one scene stole my attention. An item drops and breaks in the background and she seems to freeze up, a reaction to some mysterious trauma. I want to know more! The second book also takes place over a reality TV dating show, if you’ve been loving Elyse’s recaps of The Bachelor.

So while I had some major issues with the hero in this book, Henry and Sarah’s interactions have really galvanized my determination to continue with the series. If you have a weakness for royalty in contemporary setting, Royally Screwed fits the bill, but because of the hero’s consistently selfish actions,  I found the secondary characters way less frustrating and much more fun to read about.