I tend to do a lot of reading on business trips because there’s not much else to do once the work day is done. In fact my boss actually sells me on trips–like to Alabama in fucking July–by saying “Hey, think of all the reading you’ll get done!” So I saved Opening Up and Falling Under by Lauren Dane for this trip and boy-howdy am I happy I did.

First of all, let’s take a moment to appreciate how gorgeous the cover of Opening Up is. I’d hang that on my wall. I really would. But the contents of the book are just as lovely.

Penelope Jean “PJ” Colman is the woman on that gorgeous cover. She’s one of the heirs of the successful Colman tire business and works in their office along with her other siblings. PJ isn’t a conventional businesswoman though. She’s got purple hair (for awhile, then it’s blue. And blonde. And red) plus tattoos and piercings. She loves car culture and racing. She poses in a pin up girl calendar every year. PJ’s also an aspiring artist. Her father, the CEO of Colman Tires, has let her paint the logo on some of their cars, but PJ thinks she can open her own custom painting division.

Now, I know nothing about cars. I’m a terrible driver. I’m only slightly above, “you’re out of blinker fluid” level of understanding. There’s a lot of car talk in this book and PJ does stuff like “triple metallic,” none of which I followed, but it wasn’t enough to keep me from appreciating that she’s a really amazing artist and she’s very into what she does. She’s also tenacious, which is good because our hero, Asa Barrons, is kind of a big weenie when it comes to pursuing her.

Asa and his friend, Duke, own a custom car shop called Twisted Steel. Asa is everything PJ wants: tall, dark mysterious, tattooed and pieced (he even has a pierced weenus). PJ gets some work painting at Twisted Steel, and she can tell Asa is totally hot for her, but he refuses to make a move.

Asa kind of has his head up his ass. For one thing, he’s freaked out because PJ is 25 and he’s 37, which to me is not a big deal. In fact, I wasn’t sure why Asa, and later another character, seemed so bent out of shape about the age difference. PJ is a consenting adult, so what’s the issue? Now, to be fair, my husband and I also have a 12 year age difference (I’m younger) and I met him when I was 19, so clearly age is not an issue for me. And yeah, maybe we got some looks in the beginning but we were too busy being super in love to care, and 14 years later, who gives a shit?

Asa is also kinky. He likes percussive toys such as floggers and crops and he likes being bossy in bed. He somehow thinks he’s going to corrupt PJ to which I raise a skeptical eyebrow because 1, 25-year-olds can’t be kinky? and 2, as far as kink goes, that’s pretty mild, I think. I mean, no one is wearing a furry costume.

Anyway, PJ pursues Asa and when they do finally come together it’s all glorious fireworks and penis piercings.

There isn’t a ton of romantic conflict in this book, to be honest. That’s why I gave it an A- rather than an A. Most of the conflict is driven from Asa making assumptions about PJ and then acting on them. Some of that is driven out of a need to protect her, and some of it is just Asa having his head up his ass. There was really no black moment, but just a serious of events that more or less read like a normal couple navigating the beginning of a relationship.

One thing I really liked was that Asa respects PJ immensely. Even in the beginning, when they are in a pin up calendar photo shoot together–and of course they are–and Asa has a raging boner, he’s trying not to be a douche about it.

And here’s the thing: regardless of whatever sketchily written BDSM erotica you’ve read might tell you (cough, cough) respect is sexy. When PJ doesn’t like something in bed–like the cane–Asa respects her and doesn’t do that again or stops. In fact, he finds a softer, leather cane online that they both like. When she says no to anal sex, he just says okay, respects her boundary, and moves on. Actually that was one of the funniest scenes:

Still, she needed him to know she didn’t answer knocks at her back door.

“Asa, when it comes to butt sex, my philosophy is this.” She indicated her body, and his attention followed, his gaze blurring. “‘All these worlds are yours, except Europa.'”

She pointed to her ass. “‘Attempt no landing there.'”

I choked on my Coke reading that.

So while the internal conflict wasn’t super intense, the external conflict was. PJ is treated like a black sheep in her family because she doesn’t conform to what her father and uncle think a woman should act and look like. When she tries to convince them to open a custom paint division, and supplies proof of its profitability, she’s shut down. She quits and things get really tense between her and her father.

Her sister Julie, who looks like a J Crew model and does accounting (aka acceptable lady work) tells her:

“Well, since that’s [PJ becoming an old man] probably not going to happen, I’m telling you to remember your struggle. You’re different. They can’t even deal with the vagina part. You add blue or purple hair and face piercings and they just lose their shit. But don’t let that stop you. Penelope Jean, you are a bad ass. That comes with a price tag. You know it. You’ve chosen this path. Understand it’s strengths and limitations. You have to be twice as good as any man your age. Whether it’s fair or not, that’s reality.”

You can’t see me, but I’m holding up a lighter right now. A big part of this book is people not taking PJ seriously because she’s young and she’s a woman. I am a small, blonde, young woman in a male dominated industry. I’ve had to fight, in every job I’ve had, to prove I’m competent in a way men don’t. I have to monitor my appearance and demeanor–hide my tattoos sometimes, watch my language, act like I’m a lot nicer than I really am. The older generation I work with has certain expectations–that women look like women, that they don’t say, “Go eat a bag of dicks” in a meeting (that’s probably a fair expectation actually), and it’s a balance to stay on that edge until you’ve gotten far enough through the door that you don’t have to worry about the shock factor anymore. I don’t think I know of any female executives in the trucking industry right now and that’s just appalling, but also unsurprising.

Anyhoo, PJ’s issues at work resonated with me. She quits her job so she can do what she loves rather than be stuck in a box, and it estranges her from her dad. He blames Asa for  PJ leaving the family business (because it sure as hell couldn’t be his fault), and PJ’s siblings and mother spent a lot of time making excuses for his shitty behavior. In fact, PJ’s dad says some truly reprehensible things and I hated him and her family for defending him. I didn’t really believe at any point, though, that it would cost her Asa.

Still this book was incredibly sexy and often very funny. It made me duck out on the coworker I was traveling with: “I’d love to go to TGI Fridays with you, but PJ and Asa have a new leather cane they’ve been dying to try out and also I need to know how his weenus piercing feels without a condom, so I’m gonna just head up to my room, ‘kay, thanks.”

So if, like me, you like hot sex and good laughs, you’ll probably like Opening Up. Falling Under is all queued up on my e-reader, so I think I’ll be eating room service tomorrow too.

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Heads up! Today (6 August 2015) Opening Up is a Kindle Daily Deal at $1.99! Perfect timing!