Sarah: Watching Saving Face.

On Amazon which means I’ll get distracted by the x-ray features where the screen tells me who is in each scene.

Amanda: The x-ray features are so cool though! But yes, very distracting.

Elyse: Okay, I have cider, I have pizza, let’s go!

Carrie: “Nothing kills a romance faster than a mother’s approval” LOL

Elyse: Oh the spaghetti straps of the early 2000’s.

Actually the clothes and makeup look more like late nineties than 2005…

Sarah: Please note that I say this with respect and no ill will.

But you’re in Wisconsin and it is kind of a time warp.

Elyse: Right but it would be the other way around?

I remember the late nineties well, Sarah, that’s when little baby Elyse read all the fashion magazines and celebrity gossip magazines. Somebody back me up here. Dark lipstick. Spaghetti strap shimmery tank top over long pants with heels…

Was that not 1998?

Carrie?

Redheadedgirl?

Sarah: I had just graduated college and I went to a women’s college in SC so I fully own my sense of late 90s fashion is likely skewed.

Carrie: Regarding fashion – I spent the late 90’s in Alaska. Fashion meant tucking your flannel shirt in.

The script is killing me. “My back hurts just thinking about it.”

Elyse: “My back hurts just thinking about it” LOLOLOL

Carrie: I probably shouldn’t type all the lines though.

Sarah: RIGHT?

OK THAT WAS COOL. We’re introduced to Wil by the surgeons who evaluate her professional future, her mother who evaluates her romantic future, and then by her actual interaction with her mother at a party. But prior to all that is Wil waiting impatiently for a massive face mask to dry. She doesn’t want to wear that mask but she does anyway.

I love how the characters go back and forth between languages, influenced by topic.

Elyse: It’s so sad that when Wil mentions Flushing I’m like “HEY! That was where The Nanny was from!” And thus ends Elyse’s knowledge of NY.

From Rich: “Isn’t that how we met? With my hands down the back of my pants in a dodgey stairwell?”

Sarah: I love Wil’s “what just happened” look.

Look, you don’t get to criticize a neighborhood if you’re sleeping on the steps nestled in a warehouse size package of Charmin. And you don’t get to call anything a scandal if you’re wearing a leather bolo tie.

Carrie: I heart Raymond with all my heart.

Sarah: Wait…Raymond?

Carrie: No…I have my names mixed up…who’s the guy who she dances with who cuts in to save her when she steps on the other guys foot?

Sarah: Oh, her friend – yeah.

I don’t remember his name alas.

Carrie: This reinforces my theory that our parents become teenagers.

The volume wars is pure teenager.

Sarah: I think your theory is 100% dead on. And yes, Raymond. You were right.

The intersections of what constitutes family shame is mesmerizing. Gay daughter? Pregnant daughter? Unmarried daughter? Son with gas from too much cabbage? Son who tells women about his cell phone plan?

Elyse: I think it’s interesting how much control grandpa still has over his adult daughter. A grown woman with a grown child still lives with her parents and has to answer for her behavior.

Usually at that age Ma would be be more in a “parent” role with her parents and it’s interesting that both Wil and her grandparents infantilize Ma in a lot of ways – like the idea that Ma can never live alone.

Carrie: I’m pretty sure Jay is messing with Ma on purpose.

Sarah: Oh yes. Jay is my favorite. I want Jay and Gao Watch Movies as a weekly show. SOMEONE TAKE MY MONEY PLEASE.

Hold the phone. A female character admitted to not liking kids? I can’t handle this film. It’s making me too happy.

Also, the hilariousness of Joan Chen browsing at the video store.

Carrie: Elyse there’s a great green scarf in this movie

Ma is so depressed. I worry. You can cook for me, Ma. But every time you say something racist Imma kick you on the foot.

Sarah: “It was on sale.” I can’t breathe from laughing. Michelle and Joan are Olympic level eyeroll champions. Mother/daughter eyerolling and looks of subdued horror – how are there not more gifs?

The family meals are slowly making me shrivel into a tiny shriek laughing cringe bundle.

Carrie: “A full belly conquers all.” Preach, my brother. Preach.

Elyse: We need to stop watching movies with food porn in them. My frozen pizza is real sad here.

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Elyse: Soooo much of this movie is centered around food. There’s food in almost every scene–from vending machine food, to hot dogs, to take out, to traditional food, to home cooked food.

Wil consumes–and is nourished by–all kinds of food from traditional Americana to traditional Chinese.

Sarah: Traditional American vending machine food. AMURCA.

Elyse: Don’t forget the street hot dog. Meats of dubious origin.

Carrie: Regarding food in the movie – the noodles of shame! The rice of panic!

Sarah: I have questions about the hot dogs. Hot dogs as courtship… and barrier for conversation.

I love the balance between all the different forms of “respectability” and “expectation” vs. the risk of greater happiness and honesty and being yourself.

Oh, gosh I am loving this movie. So much gets done in one scene, in one conversation of a handful of lines.

Elyse: Rich says that he thinks it interesting how much more comfortable Wil is finding her mom a partner than she is pursuing her own relationship

Sarah: Also where is this dark, atmospheric hospital?

Where the overhead halogens are never on?

Carrie: Hospital matchmakers can trump Chinese relative matchmakers any day.

Well now I’m crying.

Elyse: “I’ll put the word out via the nurses…” LOL. The whole hospital is in on this plan. I love it.

Nothing like talking about your vasectomy on the first date or your thigh wart.

Sarah: OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.

Carrie: Oh great now I have to cry again.

DAMMIT SARAH

I gotta say that I get the Mr. Cho is not a dreamboat but he is really stand up guy.

The way he takes Wil’s grandpa’s arm at the hospital.

Elyse: Is it bad that I really like Cho?

Carrie: No, I like Cho too. And I don’t think he has nice guy syndrome – I think he’s genuinely nice.

Elyse: There’s a lot of really sweet guys in this movie, actually. The herb delivery guy, the friend who dances with Wil at the beginning, Jay of course…

Grandpa is an asshole though.

Carrie: I love the shout out to The Graduate.

Sarah: Right?

Elyse: Rich: Poor Wil. Her adult mother is shunned by everyone for having heterosexual sex. From her point of view, coming out will mean cutting ties with her community.

Carrie: DAMMIT SARAH

Sarah: Oh no, again?

Carrie: NOW MA IS HUGGING HER AND I’M CRYING AGAIN

Elyse: “THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WAR!”

Carrie: My new motto.

Sarah: OK, I just loved that movie. The credits scene is glorious, too.

Also a spin off with Jay and Gao Watch Movies would be excellent.

Carrie: Jay and Gao watch movies WOULD be excellent.

Sarah: RIGHT?

Carrie: YASSSSS

Elyse: OMG

Carrie: WHAT

Elyse: Jay and Ma watch movies. I’M DYING.

Carrie: OH YEAH

Sarah: Jay and Gao Watch Movies. Get on it. Netflix.

Elyse: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Carrie: It’s a YouTube channel waiting to happen.

Elyse: And in true romance fashion we have a madcap chase in a wedding dress
I think the title for this movie should be “let’s all disappoint our fathers!”

Carrie: Also the differences and universalities between the Greek family in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and the Chinese family in this and my own very large Scottish American family – everyone wants to eat a lot, everyone wants to maintain family status, and everyone wants to see their kids married and reproducing, preferably happily.

Sarah: THE ZIPLOC BAG at the end nearly killed me.

Carrie: I’m not proud of this but one time one of my relatives told me he was headed to a blind date and I asked him about the girl and by the time he headed out the door I had named all his future children. So no pressure.

Oh yeah, gotta have the ziploc bag!

The older people who remember when things were REALLY hard in this movie and in the Greek wedding movie.

Elyse: My grandma was getting kind of senile at this point, but she would empty entire candy dishes into her purse

Even at my house. “Gramma, you can just take the bag of candy home, you know.”

Carrie: When we eat out with my husband’s family we get doggie bags which is not unusual – but EVERYTHING goes in the doggie bag. If the table would fit we’d probably stuff that in too.

Got a few chips left? Throw them on top.

Elyse: I loved this movie. I give it an A.

Carrie: Well. That was the cutest thing in the history of ever. Simply delightful. 2 thumbs up. A+.

Sarah: Isn’t it lovely?

Carrie: I kind of like that the romances are really secondary – Vivian and Wil are adorbs but I’m only invested in their relationship because allowing it to move forward is a sign of Wil’s coming into her own.

The real romance (platonic, obvs) is between Wil and her mom. And that was so lovely to watch.

There was a bit where Wil was crying and her mom reached out to hug her and for a minute I thought Wil looked just like my daughter – and of course they don’t look remotely alike, but I think I had that thought because there’s a universal look between a daughter who needs her mommy despite any horribleness between them.

And “at least she’s marrying a doctor” was the bestest.

Sarah: Oh my god that line made me howl!

Carrie: I like the use of the color red which I gather symbolized good luck or happiness in Chinese culture and passion in American culture.

So many great lines, either ROLF funny or gut-wrenchingly painful.

Elyse: I love the happy ending, I love the Wil/Vivian story, I love the Gao/Yu story. It’s just lovely.

Sarah: What did Rich think?

Elyse: Rich said he liked it a lot. “i liked that we effectively have three love stories going–mother/daughter, Wil/Vivian, Gao/Yu. Because I didn’t know that third story was out there. And explained why she wanted to watch all the movies to find a story where true love wins out. ”

He did say sometimes the Wil/Vivian story was heartbreaking.

Carrie: Then there’s all these super fun side relationships that aren’t romantic – Jay/Gao, Gao/Vivian…

Sarah: Will/Jay

Carrie: “I feel virginal and fertile!”

Best. Line. Ever.

Elyse: Rich: “I desperately wanted Wil to come out of her shell and it was so hard to see her shut down.”

Carrie: I wanted to see more of Wil and her dancing friend.

Elyse: Rich said he’d watch it again. A from him too.

Carrie: Of all the relationships, the one I cared about least was Wil/Vivian, but I cared about it because I wanted to see Wil come out of her shell and a successful, open relationship was an important part of that for her.

Love that Gao/Yu didn’t get married right away.

Elyse: See I really cared about that one. I was super invested in Wil/Vivian. A couple times when Wil stuck her foot in her mouth, I just gasped.

Carrie: I spent a lot of time going “Wil, honey…just…no.”

Elyse: I had hoped Grandpa would turn out to be less of an ass…but no.

Carrie: He did figure out how he can have a relationship with his daughter though. an assholey one, but still. He’s gotta keep that baby in line.

Elyse: Also I didn’t expect the movie to be as funny as it is. We were both laughing a lot.

Sarah: It is hilarious. And the actors move mountains of exposition with one sideways glance and an eyeroll.

Carrie: The side eye and the sudden face freeze are strong with these people.

I also like how all the characters are flawed, sometimes horribly so (Gao’s homophobia and racism are terrible) but they are still deeply human. And they find common ground, like the movies and Vivian and Gao teaming up to nag Wil about her clothes.

Elyse: And they fit a lot of complicated relationships into one movie and totally sold it.

Sarah: The amount of work done in five eyerolls and a side glance, and the way the themes of expectation and respectability are weighed against risk, happiness, and reward, and how the characters all revolve around soap operas. I loved it.

The characters all lecture the soap opera characters about what they should do, chuck expectation and go for joy and fulfillment, but then obey expectation and fall short of that same risk they want the fictional characters to take. Oh boy was this a fun story.

Did anyone else watch Saving Face this month? Did you find it as lovely as we did? Let us know what you think!