32 years since the premiere of Return of the Jedi, and 10 years after the premiere of Revenge of the Sith, we have the 7th Episode of the Star Wars Saga. Carrie and I both saw it opening night, and we report back to you, our beloved Bitchery.

RHG: Opening night is the best night to see an event movie like this. Y/y?

Carries: Re: opening night: Yes, absolutely, this is a great opening night movie. Star Wars is a cultural phenomenon and enjoying it a group of other fans highly amplifies the experience. It’s also the kind of movie that you’ll want to see on big screen. We saw it on 2D so I have no 3D opinion but definitely the big screen is a lot of fun.

RHG: I was trying to avoid the hype and everything in the last week or so- I’d already put down my money, I was going to see it and I wanted to enjoy as much of it organically as possible, and my only requirement was “Please be better than Attack of the Clones. Please.”  

My initial tweet after the movie was over was “Holy Fuck” and I stand by that. I was SO happy. I was not a little bit relieved. The only thing that I missed (and I admit I got pretty weepy at the opening of the fanfare) was not having the 20th Century Fox fanfare before the crawl- this is the first Star Wars movie without it, and everyone of a certain age I’ve mentioned that to said “…yeah that was a little odd for me too.” It’s like they started on the second note.  

I know that’s a weird thing to be fixated on, but here we are. (THANK GOD THEY GOT JOHN WILLIAMS FOR THE MUSIC HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD HAVE DONE THAT.)

CarrieS: Even though it didn’t bother me, I don’t think that’s a weird thing to fixate on at all – I think it ties into Star Wars as a cultural phenomenon. I think a lot of us have super strong, vivid memories that come from the franchise – not just of moments in the franchise, but of what we felt like as viewers. I saw

I saw Empire in the theater, but I was teeny tiny when A New Hope came out so I didn’t see it until they aired it on TV for the first time. They had a little opening special, and Mark Hamill looked at the camera and said, “Now you, too, are about to become part of the Star Wars Saga,” and that moment is engraved on my brain in a crazy powerful way. So yeah, I totally get missing the 20th Century Fox.

RHG: I remember seeing the original trilogy at home, with my parents, and I will totally admit that for Episode I, I managed to reschedule a final (Professor: “No one has ever had the balls to ask me that before, not for a movie, so I have to say yes.”) and we went to wait outside the movie theater at 6 am- it turned into a delightful party and I have no regrets- no, not even if the movie turned out to be…well, what it was.

Thank god for Fandango, though- I’m too old to be waiting in lines for hours (she says to the SDCC Veteran).

CarrieS: Oh, I didn’t wait in line for this one, I trotted over to the multiplex on October 20th and pinned those precious tickets to the bulletin board. Also, no midnight showing for me. Am old.

RHG: No, but you do wait in lines PROFESSIONALLY at SDCC, so I salute you. 😀  (I also really like this trend of a movie having screenings the night before opening day- much less pressure, and my local multiplex has ASSIGNED SEATING so there’s no fighting over seats.)

Anyway: so it’s 30 years (give or take) after the events of Return of the Jedi and EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE. Everyone is having a bad, bad day and no one knows where Luke Skywalker is. AND WE BEGIN AND EVERYTHING IS BANANAS AND OSCAR ISAAC IS SO PRETTY.

CarrieS: I feel like that’s as much of the plot as we should reveal above the spoiler tag BUT it’s no spoiler to say that Boyega and Isaacs are extremely easy on the eyes. Especially Isaacs — he is so dreamy and such a decent dude and super competent….sigh…..

Oh, I’m sorry, were we reviewing something?

Also, Rey is just gorgeous, but I love that the movie did not sexualize her, certainly not any more than it did her very, very pretty co-stars. And I was beyond thrilled at the representation of women and people of color in major parts and as extras and supporting actors.

RHG: All of the performances were just what this movie needed- Daisy Ridley is a delight (and I want to see her and Hayley Atwell as sisters in something amazing), Boyega is fantastic (we knew he would be) and Lupita did great with a CGI motion capture character and FINALLY a movie that isn’t a total criminal waste of Gwendolyn Christie and knowing that Mr. Isaacs is in Ex Machina may actually be the thing that convinces me to carve out 2 hours to see it. (HE’S SO PRETTY.)

Harrison Ford is still Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher is the heroine we all need, but we do not deserve her. Not at ALL.  

CarrieS: I want to talk more about the actors after the spoiler break, but before I get there I do want to say that there are a few concrete reasons why I think this movie was more Empire Strikes Back and not at all to be compared to Phantom Menace (it’s OK, you can all breathe again, this movie is not at all like Phantom Menace). It still has a batshit crazy plot that frankly I’m pretty sure didn’t make any sense, with loads and loads of characters running around in different locales. BUT. It felt grounded by the constant reminders of space and scale so we felt like we had some kind of grasp on our surroundings and what was happening in them. Stuff was dirty and old and broke down a lot, which worked thematically but also heightened the realism (not that this movie is a gritty realistic drama, but it keeps the reader from feeling totally disconnected). And above all the characters were so solidly acted and relatable. I was completely invested in them. So, well done.

RHG: Yes, there’s no trade negotiations or boring political machinations or references to weird micro-organisms that power the Force. I hold that the weak link in the Star Wars Saga has been Lucas and what happens when there isn’t someone to go, “George, that doesn’t make sense.” He’s also not good at writing or directing people, and to quote Pop Culture Happy Hour, it’s like JJ Abrams sat down and said “Okay, what in this pile works and what do people like” and went from there, and then cast good, likeable people with fantastic chemistry in the roles and let ‘er rip.

Lucas gave us a foundation, now it’s time to see what the new generation does with it. What do they do? They make something AWESOME. 

CarrieS: If I had to describe this movie in one word, it would be, “fun.”

It’s not perfect, it’s not deep, but it’s not shallow, either, because it keeps the viewer connected emotionally to the characters. It’s working a little too hard to set up the new phase of the franchise and sometimes you can see those seams showing. But it perfectly captures so many of the emotions of the original trilogy – the idea that space is both vast and lived in, the contrast between shiny things and breakable, grimy things, the affection we have for old ships and character, the joy of flight, the sense of a fight against desperate odds – it’s just superlative in regard to bringing back that emotional and visual thrill.

Actually I kind of feel like potentially I could end there, although I’m game for getting into details.

RHG: The original trilogy was designed to be swashbuckling adventure stories- it’s SUPPOSED to be fun, and this movie brings the series back to that idea: call to adventure, fun, running, things blow up, running, snappy come-backs, running, and some more fun.

The balance that Abrams managed with throwing in callbacks to the original trilogy and references that don’t require you to have an encyclopedic knowledge of each shot, and yet there’s a certain scene with Harrison Ford and Adam Driver that will evoke a memory and an emotion that is 100% what you’re supposed to think. There’s a visual shorthand that totally works.  

RHG: This is practically ungradeable, right?

CarrieS: It’s ungradeable in the sense that this is a movie for a very specific audience. As a Star Wars movie it’s an A. If you like quiet indie dramas then no, you probably won’t like The Force Awakens.

But for the job it’s doing, which is bringing back the fun of Star Wars, I’d give it at least an A. I’d go for an A+ out of sheer mad enthusiasm but I think on multiple watchings when I’m not surrounded by cheering people the flaws will show up more and I’ll be harder on it – but not very hard because holy shit that was SO MUCH FUN.

RHG: I’m seeing it next week with my sister and cousins (We go to a movie as a pack every Christmas vacation). I CAN’T WAIT.

Ok: so, we have TWO places to talk about this film. Here, there are NO SPOILERS in the comments. Please. NONE. 

But if you want to discuss with spoilers galore? We have a whole thread for that! So go wild!

In this thread, however, we ask please, PLEASE no spoilers. We mean this so much that this thread is being heavily and attentively moderated.

By JarJar. 

You’ve been warned.

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This film is hardly being shown anywhere so good luck finding tickets (ha!). You can find available showings at Fandango and Moviefone.