If the Dress Fits is a body-positive romance set in the Philippines. I loved the cultural elements, the food, and the body positivity. However, I was often exasperated by the heroine, who hurts a lot of people by believing that she cannot be loved in the romantic sense. Although this book is body-positive overall, TW for some discussion of fat shaming and internalized fatphobia.
Our heroine, Martha Aguas, is an accountant who travels a lot and works for her father’s company. She lives in Manila, as do most of her relatives. In addition to working for her father, she helps her wealthy aunts plan charity events. Martha has never had a boyfriend but she does have a best friend who is male (Max). She wears a size 24 and most of the time she is not bothered by her weight.
Martha’s confidence is weakened when she finds out that her cousin Regina is getting married to Enzo. Enzo was Martha’s first love and the only man with whom she has ever had sex. Martha still carries a torch for him. Meanwhile, “perfect” Regina used to bully Martha when they were kids. The combination of the ex and the cousin who the family calls “Our beauty queen” rattles Martha, who tells the family that Max is her boyfriend. Enter wedding preparations, drama from an Auntie, fantastic food, and romantic confusion.
I come from a large family and I’ve noticed that the basic dynamics of large families in fiction seem to be the same regardless of what country the families are from or in. I am not Filipina, but I certainly identified with the way the Aunties seem to rule over everyone, and the way sibling rivalry can just as easily play out between cousins. I loved the family dynamics, messed up as they often were, and I also loved the sense of place since the story takes us to many beautiful locations in Manila (with what sounds like amazing food).
I would characterize this book as ultimately body-positive, but the heroine does express negative feelings about her body, especially when it comes to romance. Here she is in the first chapter:
Food has always been a part of my life. I ate when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was bored and sometimes when I was sleepy. It’s part of my growing up, and most of my memories are associated and celebrated with it. I didn’t hate that I liked to eat. In fact, I liked that about myself.
What I hated were the little ‘issues’ that came with my size. Strappy shoes were always purchased one or two sizes bigger to accommodate my cankles. Getting underwear was next to impossible too, unless I bought from the US. My usual descriptor was either ‘big-boobed’ or ‘the fat one,’ which, in any tone of voice, is hurtful to hear. Any time I was given a shirt to wear for an event, I needed to get it in advance so I could have panels added to the sides so it actually fit.
They were minor things, but things that annoyed me nonetheless. I try very hard not to let my personality revolve around my size. I wasn’t sure if it was showing.
At no point in the story does Martha even remotely entertain the notion of dieting, and I loved that about her. Martha’s issues with food are entirely about exasperation at people who are rude to her and at situations (not being able to find good underwear, for instance) that are foisted upon her by others. She’s actually quite happy with herself. The exception is in her attitude towards romantic love.
Because Martha narrates the book in first-person past tense, we never know what Max is thinking. However, it’s obvious to the reader from pretty early on that Max is in love with Martha. As the story progresses Martha’s obliviousness becomes less comic and more clearly hurtful to Max. Despite her insistence that she is happy with her body, Martha assumes that no one else could be, so she refuses to believe that anyone would love her in the romantic sense. By the end of the story, her refusal to believe that she can be loved despite words and actions to the contrary from Enzo (in the past) and Max (in the present) has put everyone through an emotional roller coaster.
By the way, the book does not shy away from sex scenes. It was lovely to see a large woman’s body, complete with rolls, cellulite, and arm wobbles, being lavished with both affection and passion without being fetishized or shamed.
Overall, I loved this book. I loved reading about the life of a wealthy family in the Philippines. I loved the celebration of food, flowers, and beautiful clothes (Martha is an excellent dresser). I loved the cousins’ rivalry turned friendship. Above all, I love that this is not a makeover story. Martha is happy with her size; she just assumes that the outside world is not. As many microaggressions in the story demonstrate, for the most part she’s right. However, when it comes to true love she sells herself short. Luckily, I fully believed in the HEA.
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Thanks for this rec! I was born in Manila and in my opinion, there are not a lot of romances, or really modern novels, set there. I’m sure this book will make me homesick, especially the descriptions of the food and the setting.
Yes, makeovers can be superficial, especially when it comes to weight, but the character not even attempting to take her health into her hands is quite sad. It wouldn’t even have to be central but could be a side-story showing how she is at least trying to get things under control with the help of a clinic. A diabetic character doesn’t have to focus on her diabetes but she can’t laugh it off and say it’s just about not being able to eat at Dairy Queen, whilst eating poorly otherwise. The heroine learning to see herself as worthy of love is fantastic but Size 24 is obese and it’s not something that can be just ignored; A man who loved her would want her to be the healthiest that she could be and would help her with that.
@Desiree: Research shows that being fat does not neccesarily equal being unhealthy. Martha is active, energetic, eats fruits and vegetables, is neither diabetic nor pre-diabetic, and does not have any heart disease. She shows every indication of being healthy but large.
I can only speak for myself here, but I battle with weight, fitness, and body image constantly, and if my husband was constantly urging me to eat less and go jog, I would be utterly miserable. Of course, when I ask for support with excercise, he’s duly supportive (the key word being “ask”).. But it’s not his role to police my weight or nag me into “healthiness” based on false assumptions about siz.
CarrieS- Your husband’s approach is what I had in mind: Creating an atmosphere of love while helping them work within their structure. And, yes, that includes speaking up when they do wrong. You have talked to your doctor and he/she knows what is best for you and has helped you create a structure (meals/exercise/medicine, if necessary); That sort of thing is needed for all people, including those just maintaining weight. I’m not referring to running someone down because they stepped sideways but wanting someone to stick with the overall health plan. I am diabetic: If someone who knows me sees me day after day eating unhealthy meals, and doesn’t speak up, then they are doing me no favours; I would be doing myself no favours by not following my diet (clinical definition). Unless the character is tall and/or muscular (which I didn’t get from your description of her), she is very overweight. How she would address this is between her & her doctor and in a novel that focuses on weight that should be at least mentioned, especially as wanting good health is a part of self-esteem. I commend you for working for your own health and do wholeheartedly believe that being healthy does not always result in an hourglass figure. This particular story just let an important part of the character’s journey slide. It’s a major omission but doesn’t take away from the other wonderful parts of the story.
@Desiree: Oh please, just stop with the fat shaming already and go educate yourself on health at all sizes and body / size positivity!
Simply because Martha is obese does not mean the story needs a nod to some sort of health journey to make her ostensibly more worthy of love. She is worthy of having a romance without qualifiers. I’m fat, and I don’t feel like I have to explain my life history and undergo performative healthy living to be worthy of attention and love. My life is meaningful without it. We don’t make these demands of other women appearing in romance and in the media.
@Hazel: If you have not heard of the #romanceclass community, please check out all their amazing novels (of which this is one!). #romanceclass is a group of Filipino authors writing English-language romance in lots of subgenres (contemporary, YA, etc.) and set in lots of locales (but many of them Filipino). You will not be disappointed.
@CarrieS: Thank you for reviewing and helping people find Carla de Guzman. She’s amazing!
Whoops, I forgot a link! Here you go: http://romanceclassbooks.com/
I feel like the heroine’s inability (or refusal?) to see that the hero is in love with her is heartbreakingly realistic. I can be very okay with my body—well, as okay as a fat woman is allowed to be—but I’m always aware that not everyone will be. It’s easy to be fat and fearless etc etc when you’re on your own. It’s a completely different ballgame when you have to be vulnerable in the face of a relationship.
Also, @Desiree: I’m a few months away from graduating from medical school, so believe me when I say that there is very, very little a person’s weight can tell you about their overall health, especially when all you’re seeing is their appearance.
Nuha, I have Cystic Fibrosis so I have been around the medical community all of my life. Weight does matter, regardless of whether it is too little or too much. Yes, the number on a scale doesn’t give you the whole picture to a person’s health, and a person who has a healthy weight is not necessarily in good shape, but it does matter. Martha is a character whose story we follow and whose head we are in, so we know her; As the story focused on a woman’s journey with her body and her self worth, I felt that her health was tied to that.
Katty- It is not shaming someone to want them to be the best that they can be. As someone with Cystic Fibrosis, where you’re at the other end with weight maintenance, I would feel exactly the same way if Martha were underweight, if she felt unworthy of love because her bones stick out. Health at any weight is a scary notion to take up: Please talk to your doctor about healthy weight management, regardless of your own situation, and why it’s important; I’m not trying to crude; I am dead serious.
NFA- Being overweight does not define Martha’s worthiness of love; All people are worthy of love. The story chose to focus on Martha’s weight and I felt that her health was an important part of that journey. I didn’t think that that part being missing ruined the story, just made it less full.
I am sorry that my comments caused offence; Believe me, they came from a place of warmth.
@desiree: Unless you are a medical doctor and we commenters are your patients, our health is not your concern. People carry extra weight for a variety of reasons that you are not privy to. Unless someone on this site asks for your medical advice, keep it to yourself, please.
I read these comments yesterday and it kept me up last night. What I find most troubling is the idea the heroine is only seen as valid if she is trying to change herself, by losing weight. If the heroine was a smoker (as many heros/heroines are) would she have to not only acknowledge that smoking hurts her health but be actively trying to stop smoking in the course of the book?
The fact that this attitude prevails in society is a realistic reason the heroine does not believe herself lovable. If society says an obese person can only be read about if they are trying to lose weight, is there no wonder that an obese person thinks they are not loveable at their present weight?
I wasn’t planning to read this book, but its now on my TBR pile – showing the best part of SBTB – bringing new books and authors to people.
@Desiree: I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with cystic fibrosis. I know it’s a difficult condition to live with, and I hope that you have all the resources you need, medically and otherwise. Please understand, though, that I am absolutely not coming from a place of warmth when I ask that you don’t dispense wrong-headed medical advice, especially when absolutely no one asked for it. As I had to remind the family of a patient today, having proximity to doctors does not actually make you a doctor. Unless you are a doctor, of course, in which case I would suggest you do some reading before you do irrevocable harm to your patients.
Speaking as someone who isn’t overweight , it never fails that some armchair “physician” has to show up in the comments regarding romance books about bigger women. The backhanded concern trolling isn’t even aimed at me and it gets on my nerves. Let me say this , no woman (overweight or otherwise) has to prove their health to you. This is one of the few books where an overweight woman gets to be loved. If you don’t like it , don’t read it. Go find all of the other romance where they wax poetic about the slender love intrest , there are more of those than there are of these.
Speaking as someone who is overweight, @Desiree, do you have any idea just how incredibly upset you made me with your comments? I’m crying, I’m frustrated as heck and you’ve spoiled one of the few places I feel safe. Do you have any freaking idea how rarely big women get to read about someone who looks like them being loved? Do you have any idea how much shaming, microaggressions and well-meaning advice (that we never ask for) to go lose weight we get beside you? Do you know what it’s like… Oh, well, what’s the point in continuing? I guess, you don’t.
You said, It is not shaming someone to want them to be the best that they can be. But it is. And it’s sure as hell isn’t loving. You want a person to be what YOU think is the best way, not what THEY think. And I bet if they think differently, you’ll try to persuade them you’re right. Shaming is not just saying “you should be ashamed of yourself”, you know.
You know, I’m not “overweight” but I have high cholesterol and possible fatty liver. People don’t shame me about my habits even though I don’t exercise and eat too much saturated fat.
A healthy “overweight” person is a healthy person. You can’t look at someone and determine anything except dress size.