Hey hey! It’s Cover Snark day!
Elyse: Sunshine dog redux
Amanda: The dog startled me
Tara: I really want the dog to be a scoundrel too.
Sarah: Can I steal the dog? The humans I can take or leave.
Elyse: I can personally attest to the fact that brachycephalic dogs produce so much gas and those people are making out in a room full of dog farts
Sneezy: Hahahahaa I was just lolling at how RANDOM the dog is, and you just made the picture so much better Elyse.
Unless that’s actually a paper cut out of a dog, in which case holy shit why would they curse themselves like that.
From Sarah: “I have *so many questions*”
Sarah: I too am a Sarah, and I too have many, many questions.
Carrie: Far be it from me to kink shame! What happens between consenting adults is all good! However, PERSONALLY, castration isn’t my thing – and nonjudgement here but I don’t think those blades are sterile at ALL.
Susan: My brain interpreted the dot over the i as another knife and I’m just there like “Three? That seems excessive”
Amanda: My brain went to a “crossing swords” reference. And wow, really hope the thorns were cut off that stem.
Sneezy: The dimpling made by the right hand makes me feel like the torso is actually made of some sort of plasty.
From Jen W and also Jen and also Jennifer (not even joking): Zomg. This cover has IT ALL: terrible photoshop, models who clearly don’t want to be there, inexplicable glowing veins, and MORE. It’s a gift and I can’t stop giggling.
Sarah: I am every single boggled, confused, and baffled gif ever made, all at once.
Carrie: Well, he clearly does need a nanny, I mean that baby is obviously in charge and you know that man gives the baby candy every time a tantrum looms.
Sarah: But with the pecs, and the ears, and the hair…he’s kind of like a cat tree for babies, though, right?
Sneezy: Drawing Nyan-kuns is an art. The placement of ears is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!!
That doesn’t say Nyan-kun to me. That says shitty headband. I am an avid Defender of Nyan-kuns, you impostor!!!!
AJ: I am making noises that are scaring the cat.
Which is ironic considering the dude on that cover looks like someone is doing the same thing to him.
Amanda: Baby fingernails are sharp enough without them needing to be part cat.
Amanda: Definitely thought that was his own hand
Susan: I saw your comment before the picture and STILL thought it was his hand
Tara: My first thought was “Why is there a ship if it’s about a merry farmer?”
Sarah: Everything about him proportionally is making me head tilt.
Amanda: He also reminds me – in the face – of the Castiel actor
Claudia: I feel we’ve done that one?
That arm of doom is familiar.
Susan: I think there was one like this but maybe with a mermaid
Amanda: Bitchery, have we done this one? Is everything blurring together into one big Cover Snark amalgamation?
Sneezy: At first I thought the L was a T, and now I think it’s not a letter but someone leaving secret codes about his junk.
I was a lot more excited for the last one when I thought the title was “Merry Farmer”.
Okay, but how _specific_ is your romance sweet spot if it can only be filled by stories about professional alien fathers needing childcare?
Abd lastly, I watched _Everything, Everywhere, All at Once_ this weekend and if you’ve seen it too then you will know why the toy pom in the first cover made me laugh until my partner came to see if I was okay. As soon as he sweeps her off her feet, we’re AIRBORNE!
Alien Nanny gets a special award for Too Many Fonts in too many colors
On between his lover cover…..he’s got three arms and no one can convince me otherwise.
What does it say about me, that the first thought I had on the Nanny cover, with all it has going on… Why is there an old-fashioned table fan floating above his head?
I’m concerned about that baby’s spine. The angle and attachment point of that tail are, individually and in combination, anatomically alarming.
And again, I must question the fashion culture of tailed persons. Who’s the jerkoff in antiquity who decided PROPER tailed persons would thread their tails through otherwise confining clothes? Did no one think how much that complicates pulling down pants to use the bathroom? Might as well make everything a romper so everybody has to get entirely undressed to conduct their below business.
@LB/RB Um, it doesn’t look to me like the kid’s taiil, which makes it all the more horrible.
How to Steal a Scoundrel’s Heart: Shouldn’t that be How to Rip a Wildly Inappropriate Dress because she’s too distracted to notice the dog is sitting on it–until she tries to cross the room? But seriously, though: It’s broad daylight. What on earth is she doing in an evening gown with a mile-long train? Are we to think she hasn’t been home all night? Can’t have been a very busy night, if Scoundrel has only just started tearing off his shirt, and his blow-dry seems to have held up pretty well.
I really want the dog to be a significant plot element, as it is in so many Georgette Heyers. (Granted, it would have to be a pretty dashing scoundrel to keep you from noticing a Baluchistan hound sitting on your train.)
@OuchOuchOuch: Ooh, I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe I’d overestimated the pup’s weight.
Taking Vengeance: Uh . . . That’s not how the Grayscale Image with a Single Spot of Color design aesthetic works. In particular, the author’s name in red pulls the viewer’s attention right off the bottom of the page, and leaves me wondering if that business in the “O” represents some kind of militaristic flag-waving series title?
Alien Architect needs a Nanny: Oh, good lord. I can’t even. Is “Alien Nanny Agency” legitimately the series title? Like, Alien Cover Designer Needs a Nanny; Alien Marketing Manager Needs a Nanny; Alien Photoshopper Needs a Nanny?
Merry F—-: Oh, whoops, this isn’t a Haydn symphony, it’s the author’s name. Between his Lover and the Deep Blue Sea, then. I can see where, if you want to take off part of your shirt without untucking anything, three hands would be useful. But I thought the aliens were on the previous cover. And is “After the War” the series title? After which war? Or is that the point: each book shows the aftermath of some randomly selected war? (My fingers typed “aftermatch”, which I suppose is the theme.)
Merry Farmer… oh dear! Those books regularly show up in my Kindle App Home screen because I do like m/m Regency (but going by the reviews, I’m not interested in Farmer’s books). Anyway, I had a thought to suggest one of them for Cover Snark, but as usual, I forgot again *facepalm*. More snark-worthy covers in this series… check out Never Judge a Duke by His Lover (weeeeeeird pose!) and Under His Lover’s Wing. They all feature a weid third hand!
I thought Mr Vengeance was pressing his hand to his chest to try to stop the flow of blood. There is not nearly enough detail on that rose to make it look like a rose and not a gaping wound she’s just torn in his abdomen.
That Alien Architect clearly has not had nearly enough sleep. Quit giving the kid those catnip-laced cookies just to keep it quiet, dad.
And finally! A Tinder match for the famous Three-Armed Lady!
C’mon, guys. The dog’s name is obviously Scoundrel, and the only question is “liver-flavored or cheese-flavored treats?” because the way to any dog’s heart it through his/her/their stomach.
Obvious typo on the second one, should be “Faking Vengeance.”
The Alien Architect obviously failed basic physics, based on the “buildings” and “space station” in the background.
“Merry Farmer” ==> “Merrie Melodies”… and th-th-th-that’s all, folks. (I am not responsible for how you work Foghorn Leghorn into that cover illustration.)
I’m just so confused by the badly attached body parts in the last two, weird tail placement and random extra hand aside. In Alien Architect, his odd oversized, neon-pink arm does not appear to be attached at the shoulder joint. In Merry Farmer, he seems to have a Barbie leg attached to his right side (those hips). Then again, I did read the T as an F in Taking Vengeance and I thought the knives were crossed over blurry female hips -which made the top half of the cover really bizarre- so maybe it’s my eyesight tonight.
oh, my eyes. lolol
I didn’t even see the dog in the first one because I was too busy trying to figure out why her arm looked to be growing out of her back.