I’ve been delayed in my recaps because I’ve been traveling for work and haven’t been home in a week and a half.
Pudding: You were gone? Oh. I didn’t notice.
I did get Pudding a stuffed seal on my adventures though.
Last time, two new suitors were introduced, Dr. Hatem and Mr. Judge. Dr. Hatem is an emergency room doctor from Ireland, and Mr. Judge is a wrestling coach from Michigan.
Everyone heads to a country fair.
There’s a tug of war, and the winners get to have a second date with Nicole the next day.
Then there’s a game where they hit a nail into a stump to win a kiss from Nicole. Dr. Hatem doesn’t get in the nail into the stump (hurr hurr), but steals a kiss which makes the other suitors mad.
Mr. and Mrs. RĂ©my ask Mr. Bocchichio if he came on the show to find love. He says he came to find a “connection,” which concerns Nicole’s parents.
Mr. Shanklin sings to Nicole, “testing the boundaries of music and decency,” per Mr. Edward, the host. The expression on Nicole’s face is one of polite horror.
Pudding: Has no one told him he would not be auto-tuned?
So then Mr. Bocchicho asks to talk to Nicole alone. He’s upset that Dr. Hatem stole a kiss. He asks Nicole if she’s serious about finding love because “you can’t be serious about eleven guys.”
THAT IS THE POINT OF THIS SHOW YOU FUCK NUGGET.
Pudding: I believe my plush seal has more intelligence than this imbecile.
She tells him they have one of the strongest connections, but she seems baffled by his comment.
Later she asks Mr. Cones if he’s ever dated a Black girl before and he says he has. She said growing up the White boys didn’t ask her out.
Mr. Cones says, “I’m sorry. We have to do better. Why is this even a thing.”
The next day the four guys who won tug of war get to learn how to fence with Nicole. After the lesson Mr. Chapman goes in for a kiss, but Mr. Judge interrupts them.
Back in the Suitor house Mr. Shanklin says his chances of being on the dance card depend on how Nicole liked his song.
Pudding: I have some news for you, sir.
Then it’s time for the farewell ball. Captain Kim, Mr. Castronovo, Mr. Bocchichio and (SHOCKER) Mr. Shanklin are on the dance card.
Nicole asks Captain Kim if he really wants to be there because he has been very guarded. He admits having his last girlfriend cheat on him made him put up walls and that he needs to be better. She tells him to stay.
Then she and Mr. Shanklin talk about his singing, and he says, “If you let me go tonight you’re making a big mistake.”
Nicole says she doesn’t like her judgement being questioned.
“I know what I bring to the table,” he replies.
Pudding: Ear plugs?
Then he tells her he loves her.
Nicole says she can’t get there with him and tells him he’s dismissed. Then Mr. Shanklin hits us with, “I guess I wasn’t hitting the right notes with her, but I’ll be somebody’s favorite song someday.”
Pudding: Good Lord, someone get me a drink.
Mr. Bocchicho stays, but Mr. Castronovo goes.
And that’s it. Are you watching?
Does Mr Judge’s wiggling snake tell us anything?
No I’m not watching, but I love the recaps. I am somewhat surprised by Pudding holding the seal so calmly, as in my experience cat toys are either ignored or if the have a catnip stuffing slobbered over and rolled on.
Being serenaded is the worst! Even if they’re good it’s so so awkward. In college I briefly lived (platonically) with a very talented guitarist and he just played whenever he felt like it and I could leave the room or listen from my bedroom and it was very enjoyable. But being the focus of the music makes me want to crawl into the earth and die.
Pudding totally missed you but likely has no concept of time as humans understand it.
@EJ Awkward serenading reminds me of that scene in the Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging books when Robbie is singing to Georgia and the whole time she is thinking about everything but the song – worrying about what she’s supposed to be doing with her hands, does she look weird from this angle, etc. Sir, kindly go sing outside my window so I can control some of this situation.
Why do some men think saying telling the woman they are “making a bug mistake” is attractive? It just comes off as threatening and controlling.
@Escapeologist
I haven’t read those books but that’s very accurate. I have to figure out what kind of expression needs to be on my face and how I’m going to deal with the fact of my temporarily but completely dead sex drive when he’s done.
@EJ I am so with you on the awkward serenading. My husband and I went to Hong Kong a very long time ago (1990?) and we went to a fancy restaurant where they had a group of musicians who went around the restaurant serenading the tables. I am an introvert and wanted no part of this, but of course they came around to us. They asked us where we were from, and when told Canada, they came up with 500 Miles by Ian & Sylvia. I wanted to sink under the table while they sang to us. It was very uncomfortable. It seemed kind of out of place for such a fancy restaurant, but maybe it was common there? When we left, the restaurant gave my husband a cigar, and me a rose. A memorable evening, but I never want to be serenaded again.
@EJ the serenade scene, from book 2 On The Bright Side, I’m Now The Girlfriend of a Sex God:
“He played me a song on his guitar. I didn’t really know what to do when he did that. I just sat on the sofa next to him with an attractive half smile on my face. (And my arms crossed.) It was quite a long song and by the end of it my cheeks ached like billio. In fact, I think I might have cheek strain.”
I have an older brother who is a decent guitar player, and I have been serenaded by him for as long as I can remember so I got used to just listening. When I was little it was usually “Ain’t She Sweet?”, but it could be any song that took his fancy. The difference is my brother can sing and play well so there would be no bum notes!
A friend recently got a Maine Coon kitten and one of those flopping fish toys for it to play with. Within a day, the fish completely disappeared. During a kitchen remodel, they found the fish in the oven broiler pan. Guess the kitten thought it would taste better cooked.
I laughed so hard at this one (the recap, not the episode), thank you 🙂
@Jazzlet – Or they vanish completely. I got my old boy a primo catnip mouse. It was very hot property for 24 hours and. then. completely. vanished. Gone. Nowhere. We’ve looked.
I misread “After the lesson Mr. Chapman goes in for a kiss, but Mr. Judge interrupts them” as “After the lesson Mr. Chapman goes in for a kiss with Mr. Judge” and was like WHOA, PLOT TWIST. Someone write this novella, please!
Pudding’s thoughts on these episodes are succinctly and perfectly expressed, I totally enjoy them.