Yup, that’s right: after a few years of recapping issues of Romantic Times magazine, we have pretty much discovered all there is to know about periodical publication, so we’re starting our own print magazine!
Introducing Smart Bitch Magazine!
Didn’t Amanda do a great job on the cover??!
I particularly like the part where we are reviewing all “5 million books coming out this month.”
Also – Y2K, is it a historical romance? Genius!
If you’re curious where the image is from, that is the original romance artwork that I have hanging in my office. It was used for The Lion and the Lark by Doreen Owens Malek. I also have a paperback copy in a shadowbox that I’m going to hang next to it.
I wish everyone could work under the benevolent presence of John DeSalvo in a hot pink toga, because it’s truly an experience.
I love the idea of a print magazine reviewing every romance coming out in a given month. HOW BIG WOULD IT BE. Like nine Manhattan phone books tied together? Imagine the sound it’ll make when it lands on your porch!
I also love the idea of paper dolls. I realize these fashions aren’t a perfect match for the time periods Bertrice Small wrote in, but they’re so adorable. I LOVE the striped ensemble on the lower left.
Would I fall down all the time if I had that much train and bustle? Absolutely.
Would I look freaking fabulous doing it? Yes. Yes, I would.
Happy April 1st, everyone. I hope this brought a smile to your face!
Want to look back at some of our past April Fool’s editions? Here are a few of my favorites:
In 2023: Amanda and I were co-executive producers of The Bookshelf, where readers move into a luxurious mansion and collaborate (not compete) to find their OTPR – their one true perfect read.
In 2022: we had some turgid hotwallets with our own cryptocurrency, BitchCoin!
In 2021, we created the Smart Bitches Smart Device! It’ll track your reading and embeefen your wifi while picking fights with other appliances that aren’t getting the job done.
We’ve fallen in love with rabbits, and made our own social media network in 2014 complete with hoax-detection technology (wow, wish that had been real).
And still, one of my all-time most-favorite April Fool’s Day inventions?
Our 2015 Time-stopping wearable device that doubles as a reader, pedometer, page counter, audio device, sale alarm, and timekeeper.
I can’t tell you how much I wish the stop time wearable was real.
If you’ve got ideas for next year, by all means let me know. We have SO MUCH FUN coming up with the April Fool’s pages each year.
We’ll be back with more silliness, but until then, Happy April, folks.
Sign me up!
I would legit subscribe to this- can we make it happen?
My porch is made of solid bricks & mortar but I’m not convinced it would survive the experience of having Smart Bitch Magazine delivered! Plus side is I could use the back issues to decorate and completely insulate the outside walls of the house, sure I’d lose a lot of space, but I’ll lose space if I have that insulation done professionally and I’ll have to pay for the privilege.
I would legit subscribe too! The Onion is thriving in print. Smart Bitch could as well!
The cake is a lie.
I find the idea of Y2K being historical less distressing than the 80s being historical.
A+ would totally subscribe to a quarterly publication. I get the Onion in print and it is a true joy.
I love your April Fools posts, thanks for making me laugh every year!
What a fun post!
Clever, creative and something most of us wish was real, like I’m still waiting for the Smart Bitches Cafe. Got my franchisee money all saved up.
I saw the cover and reflexively exclaimed, “SENSUAL!!!”
SENSUAL!!!!!!!
OK but when are you doing the article on Y2K? 😉
I like the address in Eureka, Kansas together with the NYC area code number!
Honestly, I always felt that if anyone could be the heir apparent to Romantic Times it would be Smart Bitches. If this was a real thing I’d 1000% subscribe. (I’d even help — I was production manager for a publishing company for 10 years, I know how it works. Plus, a free pattern per issue!) 🙂
Anything 1999 or before is clearly historical.
I always enjoy the Smart Bitches’ April First entertainment, but this one hit bullseye on perfection! *chef’s kiss*
I mean, I know it’s the annual April Fools’ joke, but I would legit read this magazine.
Oh thank God – I was afraid you’d been hacked.
This timeline is really bad for my sense of humor.
I have to ask – on the splash page for the site yesterday, there was a reference to a magazine stealing social media content for their pages? Does anyone have more juicy details about that?
I would buy this 10/10