Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E7: That was Pointless

Elyse Watches The Bachelor with Kraken Rum and CokeBefore we get started on the recap I have a couple of updates.

First of all, Chris Harrison has announced he’s stepping away from the franchise for awhile after saying some racist shit to Rachel Lindsay in an interview. Basically current contestant Rachael Kirkconnell was criticized for social media posts of her at an Old South themed sorority party.

Harrison talked over Lindsey when she expressed concerns about it and basically dismissed it because it happened five years ago when it was okay to be racist, I guess. He didn’t listen to the Black woman he was speaking to who might have some thoughts on the issue.

What will Chris do without a Rose God to serve? I don’t fucking care.

Update number two (and by far more important): Pudding still doesn’t want to be touched and we aren’t sure that her placement after her owner’s death was great, so it may take some time to build trust. That said, she’s living her best senior kitty life. She sleeps all day, emerges for dinner, then lays on her mat with all her toys around her (she loves toys) and watches bird tv on my tablet. #lifegoals

Pudding lays on a floral mat with her favorite toys next to her watching tv on my tablet

So we’re back to the pre-Dreaded Rose Ceremony cocktail party that Heather crashed. She tells Matt that she had to meet him after hearing about him from Hannah Brown. She says she feels like Matt could be her future husband.

Pieper melts down crying and she says she feels “invisible.”

Later Heather tells the other women that she was on Colton’s season.

“So you missed that one so you thought you’d try here?” Jessenia asks. “You’re just Bachelor hopping.”

Pieper says she doesn’t understand why Heather is there during week six and that she was rude for interrupting her and not acknowledging her (she super was).

Heather cries because the other women were mean to her.

So then Matt sits her down and says basically they’re too far in the “process” for him and Heather to work out. He walks her out.

So all of that was pointless.

Heather drives off in her mini van crying because she  said she was really serious about Matt which…

WTF

Ryan Renolds is confused

Heather stands next to the mini van pointing at it

Then it’s time for The Dreaded Rose Ceremony. Chelsea and Serena C go home.

The first one-on-one date goes to Serena P. They practice tantric yoga.  Serena is uncomfortable with the sex-based yoga positions and says she’s isn’t really ready to do intimate things. She also reflects that he’s more affectionate than she wants to be.

When she tells him she didn’t enjoy the date, Matt says he feels horrible and asks her to tell him if she’s not having fun. During the dinner they can’t eat, he gives her the date rose and then they go ice skating.

Back at the Necronomicon, Abigail feels uncertain because she hasn’t had a one-on-one date with Matt yet.

The next group date is basically just a cocktail hour. Bri tells Matt that a few days ago she had to resign from her job in order to stay on the show.

WHY. WHY WOULD YOU SACRIFICE ANYTHING FOR THIS GARBAGE?

Click for me RN

A woman snarls in rage

Then, just to make my eye start twitching, she says her job was really more of a dream to her because her mom sacrificed a lot to make sure she could have a better life.

I wouldn’t switch a fucking dentist appointment for this show. UGH.

Abigail tells Matt the week has been hard because they haven’t spent a lot of time together. He tells her his heart is pulling him in another direction and he doesn’t want to lead her on.

Abigail looks off into the distance

He walks her out.

Kit tells Matt that she wants to finish her degree and travel before starting a family. Matt says he’s fine with that and Kit says she feels like they really have a connection. She tells the camera she’s getting the group date rose.

But then drama! Matt gives the date rose to Rachael, then they go to a surprise Aloe Blacc concert.

Later that night Kit shows up at Matt’s place. She tells him she’s just not 100% sure of their relationship. Matt tells her he likes her a lot and wants her there, but she decides to leave.

Then Jessenia has a one-on-one date. She’s taken to a parking lot where a sports car comes racing in and does a bunch of drifting and shit, and we get a glimpse of the driver  who is totally not Matt, and then the car pulls around behind a pile of tires real slow and then Matt gets out of the driver’s seat like it was him all along.

So then Matt is like “hahahaha it wasn’t really me driving the car” and Jessenia pretends to be amazed.

So then they learn how to drift. Then they make out on the hood of the car.

Jessenia and Matt stand next to each other wearing racing helmets

During the dinner they aren’t allowed to eat, Jessenia tells Matt she’s falling in love with him. Matt tells her that he’s not “there yet.”

Jessenia cries and says she feels blind-sided. Back at the hotel the other women gasp when someone gets Jessenia’s luggage.

So then it’s time for another Dreaded Rose Ceremony. The four women who remain will go to Hometowns next week which I don’t know how they’re doing during a pandemic. Rachael and Serena P both have roses.

The first of the remaining two roses goes to Bri. The last one goes to Michelle. Pieper goes home.

Matt goes to hug Pieper but she side-steps him. She says nothing as he walks her to the limo.

As she drives away Pieper calls the experience “a perfect waste of time” which is the best summary for this show I’ve seen.

And that’s it. Are you watching?

Add Your Comment →

  1. 1
    BrandiD says:
    +22

    Oh dear Lord. I did attend an Old South themed fraternity party in college (almost 30 years ago) and even at the time, I thought it was in poor taste. If pictures of me surfaced, I’d at least have the good sense to be mortified. The only defense I have is that I was 17 (yes, I was very young in college), the guy who asked me was really cute, and I just wanted to wear a ballgown and drink artillery punch. Still, even at the time, it was an eyebrow-raising event so I’m not buying the five years ago excuse. Either the college or the fraternity eventually banned those, I’m not sure which. We were actually in the South, so my main memories of the event were 1) the guys’ Confederate uniforms were disturbingly realistic and 2) at least one of the girls had an authentic antebellum dress on, complete with corset and hoop skirt, and almost fainted due to starving herself into it a la Scarlett O’Hara.

    I wasn’t sure I could cringe any harder at the Bachelor/ette franchise but…..apparently I was wrong.

  2. 2
    Escapeologist says:
    +19

    Pudding is living the dream. Thank you for this important update.

    I don’t care what happens to Chris Harrison but am mildly curious if they have finished shooting the next episode and are now scrambling to edit him out.

  3. 3
    Cris S. says:
    +26

    I’m here for the Pudding updates. I think that means I’m here for the right reasons?

  4. 4
    Gail says:
    +11

    I also think this show is a waste of time… and brain cells. Witness the one who quit her job. What were you thinking?? Anyway, I’m only here for Elyse’s snark (and the occasional comment from Rich and the editor). Pudding is living the perfect retirement, she’s lucky to have found you!

  5. 5
    MsCellanie says:
    +2

    What job did she quit?

  6. 6
    Crystal Fitch says:
    +3

    I don’t watch this show, but I do come across coverage because I watch entertainment news shows. Hearing about the initial controversy that set this off, and how Chris Harrison has handled this makes me cringe. I think perhaps this franchise is long overdue for a new host.

  7. 7
    Megan M. says:
    +4

    This is the messiest season I’ve read recaps of and I’m surprised “That Was Pointless” has not been the title of all of them so far. They’ve got to do us a favor and cancel it at this point.

  8. 8
    Wub says:
    +4

    Cat (and sarcasm) makes this crap more relatable. I wonder what the raw material looks like before being edited for manufactured “drama”….

  9. 9
    Kris Bock says:
    +8

    I’m not surprised that the rose gods follower is racist, but I’m a little surprised some people haven’t yet figured out you shouldn’t say racist things out loud in a public interview. Clearly it’s so ingrained he doesn’t even think it’s a problem. Buh bye, Chris! No rose for you!

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