Brace yourselves, folks.
It’s the week of Valentine’s Day, which means chocolate and candy, roses and daisies, red and pink flowers, bouquets and streamers, heart-shaped everything, weighty external expectations of courtship and overt performances of commitment, and…articles on romance.
Every year we fortify the bunker with extra books and wine, and we get ready.
I’ve written about this before, but there are often two major themes within the writing about romance around this time of year. There are the folks who enter the world of romance and its community and are bowled over by all the wonderful, enchanted by the HEA, and often humbled by the warmth of the welcome. Their reports come from a location wherein the writer is shouting to the rest of the world, “Y’all, it’s pretty nifty in here!”
Now, those shouts are often housed within a “I never read romance, it isn’t serious literature, I never read one of those books” frame, which is familiar to me, and I’m guessing maybe something you’ve heard. I get it. Learning beyond what I thought I knew, and learning how much I don’t know, is part of growing, and while there are varying degrees of literary self-congratulation that can build that frame into an ornate mess, I love when someone discovers the genre and is ready to dive in head first. The water is wonderful and the community is, too. Come on in.
There’s also the approach, and alas, we see it often this time of year, of someone assigned or motivated to go check out the romance world because it’s Valentine’s Day and to connect it to romance fiction is a really, really short jump, isn’t it? Easy. And you’ve seen the result, too. Oy.
We know writing about romance isn’t easy, much like writing romance itself isn’t easy. I’ve been doing it for fourteen years and I’m still not done yet, and I still make mistakes. There’s a lot to examine, and a lot of nuance and history, and it changes so much month to month, let alone year to year. Trying to write a few hundred words about what the genre is, what the community is enjoying, or what’s popular within romance right now is a daunting, near impossible task, I think. For one thing, the answers are thousands of words long, and that’s not even counting the variations that occur based on where and who you ask about romance. Amanda and I talk daily, and our answers to those questions would be very different, despite working so closely together. It’s difficult to fully capture the heart of a genre with limited fluency when the popular opinions about it are evolving from a stereotype that’s fifteen years out of date at least.
Back in 2014 (five years ago already?!) I designed a series of Romance Novel Workouts. They were like drinking games, only with bodyweight exercises and, if you’re me, delayed onset muscle soreness. The workout cards were shared online, printed out and put on library bulletin boards, handed out to book groups, and posted all over Pinterest. I did a full-color PDF version with each new update because people wanted to share them.
The instructions were easy, and the workouts…well, not so much. My trainer at the time helped with the exercise suggestions, and they were sometimes demonic. (V-ups are EVIL, despite the very enjoyable name.) The goal for each was to read a novel, or in this case an article about romance, and if you encountered one of the items on the list, you did the corresponding exercise. I designed workouts about historical romance, contemporary, paranormal, and, of course, two different workouts focused on coverage of romance in the media.
It’s been five years (HOW is this possible, what is with this time passing thing) and so much has changed in how and where romance is covered. We have incredible writers like Kelly Faircloth at Jezebel, and Bim Adewunmi at BuzzFeed, both of whom received the RWA Veritas Media Award for their coverage of the genre. Any time they write about romance, I jump to read it. NPR regularly discusses romance in their Books section with writers like Maya Rodale covering new and notable romances. There is increased coverage at the New York Times, the Washington Post, and in EW, and Olivia Waite writes wonderful columns for the Seattle Review of Books.
That’s a big shift, and from the conversations I’ve had with editors and folks behind the scenes, there’s an increasing awareness that if a section or publication examining books doesn’t include romance, or refuses to, it’s impeding itself with its own forced irrelevance. The coverage itself might sometimes seem uneven, but ignoring or pretending the genre doesn’t exist, except for February? Not really an option. That’s a big change.
But there’s always the short hop from Valentine’s Day to romance fiction, and I can hear people warming up to make that leap. So I figured, why not another workout?
Now, you can make this a drinking game if you like. Mia Sosa has you covered brilliantly there:
(Linked with permission.)
I have all the liquor ready for the words, “grappling with consent.”
Now, two original workouts still hold up, to my surprise: mentions of P&P, Fifty Shades, Fabio, and, oh, great googly moogly, “unrealistic expectations” all seem like plausible discoveries in any potential coverage.
But there’s always room for improvement! So here’s a new, updated workout, should you need to complete the stress cycle, as I’ve been reading about in Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski ( A | BN | K | G | AB ).
As was true of my workouts then and now: I’m not a physician, nor am I a trainer. I am kinda bossy, and I can recommend books, but I can’t discern your health or any limitations you may have, so be kind to yourself and adjust as needed!
I know I’ve missed some, so I want to hear your ideas, too. If you’ve got suggestions for future workouts, please share, either in the comments or via email!
This is fun, but I have absolutely no idea what most of these exercises mean. Flutter kicks? Leg lifts? Wall sit? *Hangs head in shame*
I had not seen the workouts before! I love them! I look forward to confusing the hell out of my non-romance-reading husband when I jump up to do these exercises in the evening.
Cat C, if you want to try the workout, I know bodybuilding.com has 15-second clips demonstrating every exercise on the planet. I forget where they are on the website, but I’m sure Google hasn’t. 🙂
Unless I missed it, “Engenders unrealistic expectations on a woman’s part when she considers a romantic partner” (spoken in mansplaining voice) has been left out.
Sorry—I do see it now. I should have known you would include it!
Y’all, we’re all gonna die doing these workouts and/or indulgences this week.
“Engenders unrealistic expectations on a woman’s part when she considers a romantic partner”
Why yes, my romance reading has engendered unrealistic expectations, according to female friends.
I expect my romantic partners to be willing to talk boundaries, notice and care whether I am uncomfortable, and ask for what they want of the relationship.
Reading romance novels (from the Good Book Noise ones to the Shit To Avoid) have ruined me for all the boys who think they can do what they wish until I yell No. For all the “romantics” who think their want means right to kiss when they want. For all the menchildren who make me feel broken for not desiring them all the time.
Thank you for ruining me, Romance novels!