Sarah: If you get the Publisher’s Marketplace’s ‘Today’s Deals’ email, you learned that Candy and I have a book deal. Or, as we put it, an omgwtfbbqholyshit book deal. To quote the announcement, it was a “nice” deal.
Sounds like my mother in law might have been involved – “Oh, Sarah! That’s so nice!”
Seriously. My blood pressure is already low and I had to put my head between my knees while we were talking to our agent about it. Hell, I have to put my head between my knees when I type words like “our agent.”
So many of you have written about the moment when you got The Call, and yeah. Head spinning? Check. Mouth hanging open? Check. More head spinning? Check. Candy totally did the pee-pee dance for at least an hour. (I do the pee-pee dance pretty much all day so no one noticed the change in my choreography.)
To quote the announcement, we’ll be writing a guide to romance novels, “a funny, somewhat bitchy and adoring look at the world of romance novels, from the authors to the covers to the conferences to the audience around.”
I’ve been rather shy about discussing it as it is in development, but there it is. We’re putting the word “Book” and the word “Deal” in the same sentence, and trying really hard not to pass out.
Candy: Sarah’s covered most of it, but I have this to add: HOLY FUCKING SHITDAMNNING CRAPMONKEYS IN A FUCKBARREL.
Back when Sarah and I asked for questions that we could answer in our About Us sections, one of the questions was “Are you guys going to write a book? Like, SMART BITCHES GUIDE TO ROMANCE NOVELS, vol. 1?”
Back then, we snorted, gave silly answers and moved on.
We really, really didn’t expect anyone to approach us and essentially say “DUDES. WRITE A SMART BITCH BOOK ABOUT ROMANCE NOVELS.”
So yeah, that weird sound you hear? That’d be my brain boggling.
We’re going to write a book. What’s more, we’re going to write a book that in all likelihood will contain the words “shit,” “fuck,” “cunt,” “cock,” “cocksucker,” “motherfucker” and “tits.” Also, “twat.” Not to mention “crapweasels” and “cuntmonkeys.”
This is going to rock.
Sarah: Oooh. Crapweasels. That’s also nice.