450. Dragons on the Sex Planet with Shani and Bridget from Romance at a Glance

[music]

Sarah Wendell: Hello. Thank you for inviting me into your eardrums. I’m Sarah Wendell from Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. This is episode number 450! Yay! And this week I am joined by Shani and Bridget from the Romance at a Glance podcast. We talk about their current season where they’re focusing on dark romances, and we talk about podcasting, and then we all read a book. For this episode, we read Draekon Mate: Exiled to the Prison Planet. Please check out this blurb:

“Crashed spaceship. Prison planet. Snarling, lethal predators. Two big, hulking, bronzed aliens who turn into dragons. The best part? The dragons insist I’m their mate…This isn’t the space vacation I thought it would be.”

Dragon shifter alien sex planet! Oh yeah!

So we are going to talk about the key elements in a good sex planet alien book. We’re going to talk about consent and kink and fantasies and dragon sex and more. This is much higher on the not-safe-for-work scale – heh-heh, I said scale! – than usual, so, you know, be, be ready.

I also have a compliment to get this episode started, and I love this!

To Kelly S.: Deep underground in the hidden realm of magical creatures, there’s an annual week-long mega-party with excellent food and music and a light show that celebrates your birth. Basically, your birthday week is the biggest underground party of all time.

If you would like a compliment of your very own or you’d like to support the show and help me make sure that every episode is accessible to everyone, have a look at our Patreon at patreon.com/SmartBitches. Every pledge is deeply appreciated, and monthly pledges start at one dollar a month!

I also want to say hello to our newest patron, A. How ya doing? Thanks for joining us!

This episode is brought to you in part by Headspace. If you’ve tried meditation in the past, like me, and found that it was hard to stick with or felt like you were doing it wrong, I would like to invite you to try Headspace. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations in a very easy-to-use app. Headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research, so whatever the situation, Headspace really can help you feel better. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, Headspace has a three-minute SOS meditation for you. If you need some help falling asleep, Headspace has wind-down sessions for that their members swear by, and Amanda loves those. And for parents, Headspace even has morning meditations you can do with your kids! Headspace’s approach to mindfulness can reduce stress, improve sleep, boost focus, and increase your overall sense of wellbeing. Since I’ve started using Headspace, I have meditated nearly every day for 120 days, and yep, I, I do feel better. When my shoulders are, like, up around my ears with stress, I have techniques that help me mentally breathe and relax. I also feel more centered and more in control of what’s going on around me, even when I’m not in control of what’s going on around me. And you know how sometimes your playlist or Spotify will play the perfect song for you at a given moment? Sometimes the daily Headspace meditation is exactly what I need. Headspace is backed by over twenty-five published studies on its benefits, six hundred thousand five-star reviews, and over sixty million downloads! Headspace makes it easy for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you on your schedule, anytime, anywhere. You deserve to feel happier – that is true! – and Headspace is meditation made simple! Go to headspace.com/SARAH – that’s headspace.com/SARAH, S-A-R-A-H – for a free one-month trial with access to Headspace’s full library of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now. Head to headspace.com/SARAH today!

I was a guest on Romance at a Glance, and now I get to welcome them onto my show, which is a total treat. And I will have links to all of the books we talk, especially Draekon Mate: Exiled to the Prison Planet, in the show notes at smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast, along with links where you can find Bridget and Shani and Romance at a Glance.

But for now, let’s, let’s, let’s do this. Dragon shifters on a sex planet: I’m, yep, yep, can’t wait. We’re, we’re going for it. On with the podcast.

[music]

Shani: Hello! My name is Shani. I’m from Romance at a Glance. I’m a podcaster and a musician, and I’ve put out a lot of music under the name Marvelous Xe – or Marvelous She – and Bridget and I are besties, and we talk a lot of romance, and we’re excited to be here!

Bridget and Shani: Yay!

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: I am the aforementioned Bridget, and I also co-host Romance at a Glance. I will say that I am the quicker talker, and also perhaps the crazier one of the duo, although it’s debatable, I would argue.

[Laughter]

Bridget: And super excited to be here, ‘cause Sarah came on our podcast and we had the best time ever! And I’m excited to be –

Shani: Yeah we did!

Bridget: – sort of returning the fun.

Sarah: Thank you for doing that! I’m so excited that you guys are here. How long have you both been podcasting together?

Bridget: A year and a half about?

Sarah: Yeah?

Shani: Yes. Year and a half.

Bridget: I would –

Sarah: So do you think you’re getting better at it as you go? ‘Cause I’ve been doing this for a while –

Bridget: Oh!

Sarah: – and every time I discover something, like a new way to save time, I’m like, I am a genius!

[Laughter]

Bridget: Yes. I think we are getting better in general. I think the, at the beginning there was a lot more stuff to cut out. Like, we’d go on – we still go on a lot of tangents; we enjoy a good tangent – but we were cutting out a lot more, like, nonsense, I would argue, not good –

Shani: Yeah. [Laughs]

Bridget: – quality tangents; just, like, nonsense; and now I feel like our, like we get, we’re a little bit more comfortable with when the other person – like, I can always tell when she’s going to jump in and have an opinion and things like that.

Sarah: Yep.

Shani: Yeah. That is very true, because Bridget’s right: she talks way more than I do. She has a lot to say, and it’s actually, it’s just my brain is slow. It takes me a minute to, like, rev up into the, you know, thing? And I would argue that – ‘cause she says she’s the crazier? – I would argue that our crazy is equal but different, right?

Bridget: [Laughs]

Sarah: But that’s –

Shani: We did –

Sarah: – that’s the best matchup!

Shani: Yeah! Like, I have a silent crazy? Like, I have a quiet crazy. Just wait, you just wait for it. [Laughs] And, and Bridget’s much more upfront about it.

Bridget: It’s true. It’s true.

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: One thing I have noticed with my podcast is that, because it’s me and usually one or two other people, I used to be so much more, I guess critical. I would edit myself out a lot, and I would have these really long stretches of the other person talking ‘cause my, my thought was, well, who the hell wants to hear from me? They want to hear from this other person.

Bridget: Mm.

Sarah: Not so! A really –

Bridget: Mm-hmm!

Sarah: – good conversation is, is a better podcast, and I’ve had to learn –

Bridget: Yep.

Sarah: – to let myself go off on tangents? Because –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – even though I’m the host, I’m like, oh, nobody wants to hear from me. Nonononono.

[Laughter]

Sarah: Tell me more about you.

Shani: Yeah. I try to remember, like, you know, something we learned from YouTube, right, which is like, there’s ten million, like, beauty gurus on YouTube, and they all have followings, and they all have big followings and that sort of thing, and it’s like, people want your personality.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: They come for you, and then the other thing.

Bridget: Mm.

Shani: And we found out recently from, like, doing, like, our Patreon watch-alongs and – you know, we do a lot of interactions with our patrons – that a lot of people don’t actually read the book that we are talking about?

Sarah: Nope.

Shani: They just want to hear us shit-talk and, like, talk about our lives and –

Sarah: Yep!

Shani: – se-, sex and relationships –

Sarah: Yep!

Shani: – and all of that stuff, and because every book is different, it brings up different stories and different things.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: I remember so many things on the podcast that I have forgotten for many, many years.

[Laughter]

Sarah: It taps into a specific part of your memory, right?

Bridget and Shani: Yeah. Yeah.

Bridget: It’ll trigger something.

Shani: Oh yeah.

Bridget: I’m like, oh my God, this one story totally fits into this book.

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: There’s this one time at band camp…

Bridget: – do a lot of, like, PSA caution stories, you know, like –

Shani: [Laughs] Yes!

Bridget: This is a PSA from Romance at a Glance: if a man follows you across a continent and you didn’t ask him to be there and then he stalks you and locks you in a hotel room, you need to call the police and run far away. Do not date and marry that person! That’s just how it is! That’s just how it is in real life.

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: – didn’t really work in that romance novel either, to be fair. That romance novel was probably our least favorite so far of all the ones we’ve read.

Shani: Oh yeah, that was a bad one. Gentleman Sinner, I think it was –

Bridget: Gentleman Sinner.

Shani: – was the one where we were like, what is – none of this is romantic!

Bridget: It’s a really funny podcast episode, though, because it was one of our earlier ones, and we had read, like, some historicals; we had read a couple, like – and we were, like, picking great books, like Helen Hoang, like The Kiss Quotient. Like, we were –

Sarah: Lots to talk about there, right?

Bridget: – so many good books in a row, and then this one. We thought it was going to be, like, dark and delicious, and –

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: – I, during the podcast, I think I said like five times, like, I’m still convinced at like seventy-five percent of the way through this book, that he is going to reveal himself to be a paranormal creature, and it’s going to fix the whole book. Like, I was convinced!

Sarah: Now, I know you are working on a season about dark romance. What are you reading? I’m curious what made you pick this topic and what you think makes a good dark romance. I presume it’s not any of the behaviors you just mentioned.

Bridget: [Laughs] I’ll let you take this one, Shani.

Shani: Well, I think we did dark romance just because – we pick a theme for every season.

Sarah: Right.

Shani: So we did historicals. Like, during the winter we do, like, cowboys and, and military and, you know, and then holidays. So –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – a lot of our listeners listen to dark romance, and I read dark romance. It’s not the majority of what I read, but every so often I enjoy it. And so that’s initially the thought behind it, and so many of the people who listen to us, like, are in a lot of these dark romance groups, and so we were just like, let’s, let’s do it! Let’s, like, delve in and see what it is.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: You know, and we have a big disclaimer at the top of our episodes that’s like, look, guys, this is, you’re going to hear all of these things. And I think –

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: – what’s really interesting is – especially ‘cause I’m heavily involved in kink – is that there’s a lot of these taboos that you’re not allowed to like in real life, you know.

Sarah: Yeah.

Shani: And I, and I think people are allowed to explore them in books, and so dark romance, I think, is a nice, gritty way and yummy way of, like, finding out what’s the dark stuff that people like, the things they can’t admit to and that sort of thing, and, like, you know, murky consent or no consent at all is a big thing in dark romance? And, like, one of the things I talk about is that my partner and I engage in consensual non-consent, and it’s fun as shit –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – you know, and so – [laughs] – in the books, they’re not nec-, it’s not consensual non-consent, but it hits that same fix, I think. In the, the, the four books that we’ve read now, a lot of them are like a bad boy with a heart of gold, and even though they do really fucked-up stuff, they have, like, a heart of gold, and this is annoying the shit out of me, all right, ‘cause I just –

Bridget: [Laughs]

Shani: – I want – well, one: a lot of them are very angsty. Like, the, the, the hero is very, very angsty, and it’s a lot of back and forth, and I like a controlled, like, dark – I like control in my, like, hero in dark romance. So a little bit more like a, like a Mr. Grey-esque, but even he was a little too angsty for me. But, like, just a lot more control, who’s in control of the situation. He’s going to do some fucked-up shit, but he’s in control. [Laughs]

Sarah: And there’s no ambivalence or, or, or uncertainty on his part about his feelings, about what he’s doing.

Shani: Yes!

Sarah: He’s confident –

Shani: About what he’s doing.

Sarah: He is confident in the fucked-up shit that is about to happen.

Shani: Oh yeah. That’s, for me, that’s what I, that’s what I like. We just read one where they were, like, in high school. There was a whole lot of back and forth and this and that, and I was like, I, I, I can’t do that. [Laughs] I can’t do that one so much! But it –

Bridget: ‘Cause we wanted to, I wanted to do at least one bully romance, ‘cause so many people love them, and so we wanted to see, like, what it’s all about, and what we learned is, it’s maybe not for us, and we’re not the target demographic. And it was, it was, it – that one in particular was also just a very, another book where I wish authors – and also, like, movies and other things – realize that we want to connect to a central theme. We don’t need forty-five plots. We just need one good one. Maybe one good subplot. That’s it! I don’t need anything else. Like, if your book is about bullying and this dude is, like, in this case was, like, torturing this girl and, and for ten years, like, bullying her and she doesn’t understand why she, like, as she grows up and becomes a teenager, like, has this crush on him, even though he’s super mean to her and, like, great setting. Great setting to, like, delve into the psyche of what the hell’s going on and all this other shit. But then there’s, like, a lot of plot. There’s – Sarah, when I say the last third of this book, or last, not even third, the last quarter of this book packs in a lot of plot. And it was –

Sarah: I call them first-grader plots? It’s like a first-grader telling you a story: and then, and then –

Bridget: Yes!

Sarah: – and then –

Shani: Yeah!

Sarah: – and then! [Laughs]

Bridget: Yep! Yes!

Shani: I like, I like that –

Bridget: Very much so! That’s a good descriptor. That’s a great descriptor, ‘cause it was a lot of, like, oh, and also, did we tell you about the crazy dad who’s come back to life, and all, and you’re like, do we care? All I wanted to know is about these two people. I just want to know –

Sarah: You’ve got to space these things out!

Shani: At the end of the book I was like, what the fuck did I just read? Like, I – what?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Shani: You know, and the thing about it, also, like, is that authors are, keep trying to give me sequels, and we don’t know if it’s because of Kindle, that they get paid by the page read and that sort of thing or they’re coming from fanfiction or all of the above, but, like, they’re making books with sequels that don’t need sequel. You did not give me enough book in book one for me to a read a book two. And so when I get to the end and there’s this made-up cliffhanger out of, like, and now you want me to read a whole ‘nother book that, that’s also not going to be good, ‘cause the first one wasn’t good, I don’t, like, I’m just like, write me one solid book. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yeah.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And I don’t care about any of these people, so why would I continue reading about them?

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: Like, you haven’t convinced me to give a crap about any of these people. It’s like The Bachelor for me; like, I don’t care.

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: I, my college roommates used to watch The Bachelor, and they used to get so mad, ‘cause I would stand behind – we had, like, the couch, and then our kitchen was behind the couch.

Sarah: Yeah?

Bridget: I used to stand in the kitchen and, like, make my food while they all watched, and I would, like, heckle from the background, like an asshole, and I would be like, oh, well, he’s clearly picking that one, and they’re like, no, we hate her! And I was like, it doesn’t matter what you think –

Sarah: He’s picking her.

Bridget: – he’s for sure choosing her, and they were like, no, she’s the worst, meh, meh, meh! And then at the end of the season I was right like seventy-five percent of the time. Considering I only ever watched like, you know, one- or two-minute snippets throughout? But it’s like, people get so invested in that show! They get real invested!

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Bridget: I, I just – you know what I do like, though. Did you ever watch the behind-the-scenes show about it? Un-, un-, un- –

Shani: The fictional one!

Bridget: Unreal.

Shani: – fictional.

Sarah: No!

Bridget: Oh my God. Unreal is a TV show that had a couple seasons, three or four? It is the – well, it gets super crazy in the later seasons. The first season, though, was astonishing. It’s so dark; it’s so fucked up.

Shani: Yep! Yeah, this –

Bridget: It’s about the people who run the show.

Sarah: Oh!

Bridget: So it’s the producers; it’s the PAs –

Sarah: Right.

Bridget: – it’s the camera people.

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: It’s about how they manipulate all of the situations and use all this, like, really awful psychology to get these people to say horrible things, and they get people drunk, and they, like – it is, but it’s –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – just the pacing of the show is just in your face. It’s so good; the acting’s good. Highly recommend. Unreal. It’s on –

Sarah: Oh.

Bridget: – it’s on Hulu right now; I just googled it. So you’re welcome.

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: Thank you. First google of the podcast! Win!

Shani: One, one of the first people I met when I moved to LA was a, one of the producers for either The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, I can’t remember which one now. But I, she told me these insane stories. I remember she got drunk at a bar and just told me, she was like, you’re a doula; you’ll, you’ll understand; and started just spilling her whole life to me –

Bridget: Oh no.

Shani: – and she –

Sarah: Oh, do you have bartender pheromone too? People –

Shani: Oh my God.

Sarah: – just tell you their business?

Shani: Oh my –

Sarah: And you’re like –

Shani: Yes! They think because they’re like, you’re empathic! You’re a doula! You get –

Sarah: Yes!

Shani: And then they just spill everything!

Sarah: Yes.

Shani: And, and I remember sitting there like –

[Laughter]

Shani: – with this, this, this story I did in the Russian mafia, and I won’t even, I’m not going to tell the whole story, but this is one instance in this crazy-ass night where she just goes on this, she’s bawling at the bar, super drunk –

Bridget: Oh no.

Shani: – and is telling me the things she did to contestants on that show to get them to do stuff, and she’s, like, going to hell. I’m just like – I’m going to hell –

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: – you don’t even understand all the things I’ve done! And I was just like, this is me, I just moved to LA, and I’m just like, oh, oh my God! [Laughs] Oh my God. Oh my God!

Bridget: Oh, poor baby. Baby Shani was like, what’s happening in LA? These people are the devil!

Shani: Yes! Yes. And then the whole night she kept saying, they’re going to kill him! And when I say how – I’ll, I’ll tell the story another time, but when I say this was the most insane LA story of all times – I was just like, holy cow, what have I gotten into? I’m going to go home now. What I’m, what I’m going to do right now? I’m going to go home. [Laughs]

Sarah: And lock my door.

Bridget: Oh my goodness.

Sarah: Okay. So I, I asked you to read a book.

Bridget: Yes, you did.

Shani: Yes.

Bridget: We would like to start off this review by telling you, thank you! We appreciate that you knew us well enough that we would want to read a dragon shifter ménage book about alien dragons and –

Sarah: Yeah.

Bridget: – I appreciate that.

Sarah: Yeah. Exiled –

Bridget: Yeah, I kind of –

Sarah: – to the Prison Planet, yeah.

Bridget: Yep.

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: I mean, the blurb was as follows: crazed spaceship. Prison planet. Snarling, lethal predators. Two big, hulking, bronzed – bronzed – aliens –

Bridget: Bronzed.

Sarah: – who turn into dragons. The best part – that wasn’t the best part! – the best part is the dragons insist I’m their mate. And I was like, I bet, I bet they’d like this.

Bridget: Yes.

Shani: [Laughs] Yeah!

Bridget: You were right.

Sarah: Oh, you’re very welcome.

Shani: I got, I got a text from Bridget that said, Sarah loves us!

[Laughter]

Bridget: I was like, she knows us! She gets us!

Shani: She knows us so well! [Laughs]

Sarah: So it occurred to me that this book is, is a, is a pretty solid example of the sex planet, alien fucking subgenre.

Shani: Yes. Yes, absolutely.

Sarah: And, and it’s not just alien fucking or just the sex planet: it is the combination of the two, right?

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: It is the two elements –

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: – that, that make this genre, right?

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And I’ve been sitting here – because, you know, I have to attempt to codify everything – like, what makes, what are the things that make these books so addictive? Much like you were asking about –

Bridget: Mm, yeah.

Sarah: – bullying romance and dark romance, why are sex planet, alien fucking romances so popular? And I think it’s the, the expectations that the reader carries in to the story.

Bridget: Mm-hmm!

Sarah: There’s going to be a sex planet, and there’s going to be alien fucking.

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm

Shani: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: We’re good.

Bridget: I’m already ready. I’m already at eighty percent.

Shani: I, I think –

[Laughter]

Shani: – I think there’s actually more to what, like the expectations you carry in, ‘cause I was actually, I was talking to my partner about this and – ‘cause he was like, what are you reading? So I give him a synopsis of the whole thing –

Sarah: Oh! Alien planet sex, sex planet alien fucking with dragons!

Shani: Sex – yeah! [Laughs]

Bridget: With dragons!

Shani: With big, gigantic, ten- –

Bridget: Human –

Shani: – ten-inch cocks, you know, that are just hanging out –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – you know. And I’m, and I’m always very introspective. I’m like, what about this makes me love it? Right, ‘cause I –

Sarah: Yeah!

Shani: – love these! But for me –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – it hits one of my kinks, right, and so I have – and I’m going to admit this on the podcast – I have a breeding kink, right?

Bridget: Mm.

Shani: So the idea of somebody getting me pregnant, that, that visceral – all, usually, most of my kinks are primal in nature, right. So, like, me and my partner are primal players. Anything that’s, like, mine! Mated! Alpha! Ah! Whatever?

Bridget and Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: Those things get me off. So –

Sarah: Possession.

Shani: – like –

Sarah: – control –

Shani: – possession –

Sarah: – rage.

Shani: – cont-, exactly. You know –

Bridget: Got it.

Sarah: Yeah, I follow you.

Shani: So, so, like, those things – I don’t need them to be, like, rage beasts, but I just need them, when it comes to the person, they’re like, that’s mine!

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: And I will kill you if you come after what’s mine! [Laughs]

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: You know. And so I think it also feeds into that as well.

Sarah: Oh!

Bridget: I also think it feeds into the, well, I’m stuck here and I can’t help it, so I may as well enjoy it.

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: Because I think a lot of people, you know, were raised in such a society of, like, especially in America, anti-sex and anti-pleasure and anti-female-pleasure –

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Bridget: – that a lot of times I find the easiest books to get into are the ones where I’m like – or the character/me are like, well, you’re on an alien planet and they said that you’re their mate, and you’re attracted to them and they’re attracted to you, and they’re both seven feet tall and they have twelve-inch penises. I think we should try it out and see what happens.

Shani: Yeah. [Laughs]

Bridget: What else are you going to do, you know?

Shani: What are we go-, what are we going to do?

Bridget: [Laughs] Yeah, what are you going to do? You’re going to fuck ‘em all day long, ‘cause there’s nothing else to do. You’re –

Sarah: There’s no TV. You’ve lost Twitter. There’s no Instagram on the sex planet.

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: – there’s no electricity. All there is –

Sarah: That’s it.

Bridget: – are two dudes who want to take care of you –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – and worship you and just bring you to endless, endless orgasms –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: – and I think that you should embrace that!

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: And there’s also the absence – and there’s the presence of the atmosphere that in, usually in varying degrees –

Bridget: So I –

Sarah: – invites you to get horny.

Bridget: That’s one of my favorite things –

Shani: Oh yeah.

Bridget: – about these books is the biological changes, ‘cause I, me and Shani talk about this all the time, how sometimes it’s really hard to, like, get behind a book when they don’t explain, and just, I need one nugget. One line of logic? I’m into it. So, like, in this book they say something like, like their sperm was changing her body to prepare it for their babies, and I was like, oh, done! It’s, it’s a magical –

Shani: Yep.

Bridget: – alien sperm is changing her biology: I’m sold. That’s obviously how she can have sex with those penises without dying, and that’s obviously how she’ll eventually bear their children, and she gets stronger and faster and all this stuff, and I’m like, first of all, I want that. Hello!

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: Right, I would like to be stronger and faster and also have two seven-foot-tall alien dudes who are worshiping me. Sounds delightful. So I like the bi-, I like when they just give me, like, a little nugget: oh! We have advanced technology and we gave you a shot that will prevent you from pregnancy until you want it. Super! That’s all I needed to know! Super. So I’ll just –

Shani: Yep.

[Laughter]

Sarah: So do you guys have a, have a way to summarize this book? I’ve been trying to think about it. Like, how do you give, like, the, the, the super short summary beyond sex planet, alien fucking?

Shani: I mean, that’s the summary I gave my partner. [Laughs]

Sarah: Right?

Bridget: I would say, I would say, I actually thought this book had a lot more, like, political shit in it than you would normally expect from a sex planet, alien fucking. Like, this book was pretty heavy on plot. So I would say, naïve human women are tricked into going to an alien planet for the help of humanity, and it turns out that they are betrayed and get sent to a barbarian prison planet with no way off, where they encounter draekons who become their mates. Two of them! Two for one! Ooh! [Laughs]

Sarah: Yes! It has to be a triad. Dragons like three, ‘cause they have, you know, the three claws, I guess –

Shani: Yes, they do!

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: Claw for every – [laughs]

Sarah: Yeah, that’s a really good summary!

Bridget: Yeah. But there was definitely a lot more. I actually read half of the next novella ‘cause I was curious to see whether the, like, political stuff keeps going?

Sarah: Yeah.

Bridget: And it is, it is very heavily about the, like, you know, the politics of the old world and, like, why they got sent there and –

Sarah: And the royalty class.

Bridget: – discover new stuff about the, you know, why, why, like the history of their genetics and stuff like that, ‘cause they were, like, a created species. So it was definitely, it’s not quite at the level of, like, Grace Goodwin or Mina Carter, where their books –

Shani: Ice Planet Barbarians.

Bridget: Ice Planet Barbarians where you’re like, we are here for – I mean, there’s a little bit of plot, but those books are more heavily smutty than this book, I thought.

Sarah: That was exactly my note on this book. Like, I kept reading it, and I was like, okay, that’s, that’s an in-, that’s a lot of science –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – and, oh wow, the government screwed you: didn’t see that coming!

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: And these people are not who they say they are. Okay, yep, saw that coming too.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: There’s a whole lot of mystery and mistrust here.

Bridget: Yes.

Sarah: But my note is, there is too much plot in my alien fucking romance.

Shani: Yes, yes.

Sarah: There was not, there was too much plot –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – and there’s not enough fucking.

Shani: You know what? Those –

Sarah: I expected little bit more fucking.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: There was too much plot, not enough fucking, but I also think where they could have taken a slight bit more time is before the first fucking, right? So, like, I like –

Bridget: For more tension.

Shani: – I like – yeah! Like, I like the tension! And I don’t think you need to give me a ton more, but they could have been a –

Sarah: No!

Shani: She just kind of gave it up. She was like, oh, I’ll distract him with my pussy!

Bridget: [Laughs]

Shani: You know? And – [laughs] –

Bridget: And it worked, Shani. [Laughs]

Shani: Whaaa! Surprise! It worked with, with two dudes. You know, like, like –

Sarah: Who had been on a planet with no women for, what, sixty years?

Shani: Yes! You know –

Sarah: This was, was not a difficult trick there.

Shani: I was like, I was like, wait, that’s how it’s going to go down? Like, I wanted more tension there. That, I could have done with less plot, more tension, a little more –

Sarah: Yeah.

Shani: – a little more pull right there –

Sarah: Yeah.

Shani: – and then, you know, I, I rather them kind of ravish her. I mean, they could consensually ravish her, but, like, it should come down to a ravishment type of thing –

Bridget: Mm.

Sarah: Yeah.

Shani: – and they kept saying, they kept saying, we’re trying to hold off so our dragons don’t go crazy and overtake you. I’m like, let those dragons overtake her!

Bridget: I know.

Shani: Let them! Okay? [Laughs]

Bridget: Shani, in the second book, there is more tension, ‘cause she takes longer to –

Sarah: She’s in a coma!

[Crosstalk]

Bridget: – was in a coma, so she wakes up –

Sarah: Yeah!

Bridget: – and then takes like a few weeks before they have sex. So we have some good, like, oral scenes beforehand, but she’s, like, super into their dragons, and I was like – [gasps] – ooh, is this going to be the one where she’s going to fuck the dragons?

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: And then they changed back to human, and I was like, well, we can’t have everything we want.

Shani: We’ve been, we’ve been hoping that there’ll be, like, a book where there’s, like, a partial shift, like they’re half dragon at the time where they, they get, like, overtaken –

Bridget: Mm.

Shani: – and they’re not fully human or, like –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – full dragon or, like, you know –

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: – if you’re, if you’re already getting fucked with a twelve-inch bronze –

Sarah: Schwanz, bronze.

Shani: – bronze, bronze –

Sarah: Bronze.

Shani: – schlong, then what’s, what’s the –

Bridget: I mean –

Shani: – the harm in doing a dragon? Okay?

Bridget: Did you, did you read –

Shani: Like, I don’t understand!

Bridget: Did you read the ones with – oh my God, what is their – where the guys, like, shift when they get aroused, so they become, like, a bigger version of themselves?

Shani: Probably.

Sarah: I’ve seen this before, but I can’t pull it off the top of my head. They’re, I have read The Lords of Satyr where once a month at the full moon they grow two dicks.

Bridget: That’s different, Sarah.

Shani: Oooh!

Sarah: You had – oh! Ohhh!

Shani: I’m sorry, I’m taking a note right now.

Sarah: Okay. Okay.

Shani: Lords, Lords of –

Sarah: This, this book –

Shani: – Satyr! [Laughs]

Sarah: – this book is a journey, and, and I’m – and it is a gift. It is, it is, it was the first completely off-the-chain erotic romance I ever read, and I have shared it with other people, and, and their, sometimes the reaction is, oh my God, thank you! And sometimes the reaction is, what, what did I do to you? Did I, did I hurt you somehow? Okay, so Nicholas: The Lords of Satyr – not seder like Passover; satyr, S-A-T-Y-R – by Elizabeth Amber is an older book –

Bridget: Okay.

Sarah: – and it is about the satyr and their hemi-peens. Once a month at the full moon, they shift and they have hairy, sort of thicker legs and –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – two dicks.

Bridget: Interesting.

Sarah: Two. And they conjure women out of dust to fuck them once a month to satisfy the second wee-wee, and then it, it disappears back into their bodies until the next full moon. And some king – it’s, it’s also one of those forced inheritance marriage series, because some king kicked the bucket. He has three illegitimate half-fey women children out there in the world, he has three half-fey daughters out there, and so the satyrs are each charged to go – there’s three of them of course: sequels – and they have to go out and find their, their, their mates, because this –

Bridget: Ooh!

Sarah: – king, this dead king said so, and it was like, okay. Then – oh, and there’s evil, evil lesbians. If, if, if –

Bridget and Shani: Oh – [crosstalk]

Sarah: Evil lesbians –

[Laughter]

Shani: Why –

Sarah: – with nipple rings –

Bridget: There’s a lot going on in this book.

[Laughter]

Sarah: One of them is eaten by a tree? It’s –

Shani: Ohhh –

Sarah: – it is, it is a gift. And I won’t even, I won’t even spoil the very best part! I will let you discover the very best part of this book.

Shani: I’m like, I am a hundred percent reading this book. [Laughs]

Sarah: Okay, and when you get to the good part, you will not miss it.

Shani: I won’t.

Sarah: Get to the good part.

Shani: I’ll probably send you a furious email like –

Sarah: Please!

Shani: – Sarah!

[Laughter]

Sarah: Please tell me. Please tell me. But with this book, I felt like – [huffs] – okay, I never ever do this: I don’t read books and think about how I would have arranged them or done them differently. I’m just sort of like, this is the book –

Bridget: Right.

Sarah: – this is how it is. My job is to decide, you know, whether I’m into or it or not and if I want to keep reading it.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And then if I’m writing a review, it’s a whole other thing.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: But with this one I was like, I kept thinking, we could have just started with the crash. We didn’t need to start on earth.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: I mean, how many times –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – did I need to be told that her dad died of leukemia and she didn’t have any family –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – and this was a last ditch resort.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: We, I didn’t need to need, need to know all of these women in different ways. It was enough that they were the only humans on the ship. That alone –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – created a unit of them.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: I didn’t need all this!

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: It was, there was too much exposition setup –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – [laughs] – in my alien fucking romance!

[Laughter]

Bridget: I don’t disagree.

Shani: This is, this is, I, I a hundred percent agree with you, Sarah, and this is something I’ve said to Bridget before when we – so we are going to write novellas at some point in the near future, right. So, so we’ve been talking about it, and I said, I asked her, I was like, Bridget, can we just start a book from where the action hits? Like –

Bridget: Yeah!

Shani: – don’t give anybody no information about, like, what happened beforehand. Just the, the collision, where it starts, and go! Because –

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: – every book, and especially the number one of every book is always this whole long exposition about what’s going on, and I will figure this out over time! You can give people information –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – over time, and part of what happened beforehand can be part of the story of them finding out what the hell happened –

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: – could be part of the story –

Bridget: Or explaining it to their new mates! Like, they could just, they had to, they had to, like, basically repeat the information from the beginning later when they were talking to the mates.

Shani: Yeah! You know, and I, I, I always think that a lot of stuff in books –

Bridget: I do – I’m sorry, didn’t meant to interrupt –

Shani: No, no, I –

Bridget: – you, Shani, but I do want to know what happened to the women who get kidnapped by the more primal draekons. I’m like –

Sarah: Well, that bugged me.

Bridget: – what’s happening to them over there?

Sarah: My estimation –

Bridget: What have we got going on over there? [Laughs]

Sarah: My estimation of the heroine –

Shani: They’re getting it real good.

Bridget: Yeah, they’re getting that good dick!

Sarah: They’re getting the good fucking. Like, the extra-good fucking.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: But also, that, that made my estimation of the heroine, Viola, it just, it, it made my estimation of her just plummet. Like, you have a translator; you could understand them; they can understand you. They have done nothing but say, please don’t be afraid. You are unsafe.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: There’s a flood; it’s going to come.

Bridget: Right.

Sarah: Like, we have a whole flash flood – trust us –

Bridget: Right.

Sarah: – we’ve been here a while. And she’s like –

Bridget: Right.

Sarah: – they were so primitive and barbaric! Those other women must be in danger! And I’m like –

Bridget: They seem nice!

Shani: They seem real nice!

Bridget: They’re like, oh, we’re protecting your friends! Like – [laughs] – don’t worry; they’re with us!

Sarah: Like –

Bridget: It’s okay!

Shani: Honestly, she’s like an alien –

Sarah: – calm down, Karen!

Shani: – an alien, I was going to say, an alien-fucking Karen up there, because you know what she saw that their, their home, and she was like, they were like, you were expecting us to live in a cave and be like –

Bridget: Yeah. [Laughs]

Shani: – and she definitely did! I’m like, you judged the crap out of them. You know, I, I do, I do want to give her, like, a tiny bit of, like, credit, because, like, there was the one time, just as, like, they’re, they’ll kill you – [laughs] –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – and, who put the initial idea in her head, and I, I know just by so much, like, you know, life experience that the first truth told is the one believed, and, like –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – even if it’s not true, and so getting –

Sarah: I’ll trust them – oh, okay, I won’t trust them.

Shani: Yeah – so getting that idea out of her head is, can take, you know, take a minute, but I, I actually was like, so I, I wanted a little bit more oomph from Viola, Viola, because she was a botanist, one, like –

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: – in the book –

Sarah: Why was there –

Shani: – and –

Sarah: – there was not enough nerdy botany, was there?

Shani: No! –

Sarah: More alien fucking, more nerdy botany!

Bridget: [Laughs]

Sarah: I have a very specific wish list here.

Shani: Yes! Because my, my thing is, and this is my – I always think about how I’ll write a book differently or how I would have rearranged it. So, like, she’s a botanist. They’re on this planet and they have a finite amount of resources; they don’t have any metal. They have, you know, whatever. They, they get poisoned by these plants, just like the other ones do and whatever, and I’m like the, like, as a botanist, I would be curious. Every time we passed something I’d be like, ooh, let me take a specimen of this or whatever. Even just, if she had a, had a thought about it. Like, oh, I’d love to study these plants while I’m here or come up with a neurotoxin for whatever. You know. Like, I just – and she wasn’t smart enough for a botanist for me! Like, she kept doing dumb shit that I was like, you got a, a whole Ph.D.! Like, what, what are you doing?

Sarah: You know, in order to get a Ph.D. in botany –

Bridget: [Laughs] You got a whole Ph.D.!

Sarah: – you know there was data, right? Why is she not, okay, this one makes this woman go into a, go into a coma. Let me do a, just a quick, superficial list of what the traits are so I can stay away from it and all of its kin.

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: ‘Cause it’s going to give me a coma. Like –

Shani: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – that’s, that, that seems logical, but she has no scientific approach to anything. She doesn’t even recognize when their magic dragon jizz is turning her into a, a, you know, better, stronger, faster, farther lady.

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: Yeah, I feel like I would notice that much quicker. She did not pick that up quickly. She’s like, huh! Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m hiking more! Like, my dad’d be so proud of my rock-climbing lessons! Like, you, they had to carry you yesterday! Now you’re fine!

Shani: [Laughs] Yes!

Sarah: You, you were in stasis. Like, you were in the mother of all naps. You should not be able to just climb a mountain like two days later.

Bridget and Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: Please allow me to interrupt myself to tell you that you are so very invited to our next podcast after-party, Tuesday night, 7:30 Eastern, on Stereo. You can listen to us live on the Stereo app. You can record messages for us to play. It’s like a Tuesday night dose of serotonin and happiness, with a chance of mayonnaise maybe. All you need to do is download the free Stereo app at stereo.com/smartbitches so you can connect with us when we’re live every Tuesday night, 7:30 p.m. Eastern time! Go to stereo.com/smartbitches and get started Tuesday night, 7:30 Eastern.

And now back to the dragon shifters on the sex planet. I love that it is my job to say things like that.

The other thing that really frustrated me is that, with this much plot, there were so many opportunities for tension, and –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – the, the, the heroine’s narration – first of all, okay, I hate it when, when characters who are giving me narration need to tell me that they are funny and they make funny jokes? [Laughs] ‘Cause I’m like, no, you’re not! And just leave it be. You don’t have to underline your joke. See the joke that I just – no, mm-mm, don’t do that. But also –

Bridget or Shani: I hate that.

Sarah: – mm – but also, the conflict kept being, oh, what if I’m not their mate? They say I’m their mate and they changed into dragons, which allegedly only happens when they see their mate, so may-, but maybe I’m not their mate; maybe they’re supposed to be mated with somebody else and now I’m jealous and sad! And I’m like, you just crash-landed on a planet; your spaceship’s about to be swept away by flash floods; you were tricked into this crash-landing; you’re never getting off this planet, ‘cause allegedly there’s an asteroid belt. The people who were supposed to keep you safe have betrayed you; half the women are gone; the others are like, are you crazy for dicking down all these dragon guys? Like, what’s wrong with you? You’re facing judgment from the other passengers for getting the, getting the dick, and you do a lot of anal without lube. We have –

Bridget: No, no! They use –

Sarah: – many sources of –

Bridget: No, no, you missed it. They use their pre-cum. It’s magic pre-cum! That’s the – I’m serious! It’s also, ‘cause –

Shani: It’s also an aphrodisiac!

Bridget: – ‘cause she’s – yeah, it’s an aphrodisiac – ‘cause she said something like, it warmed her immediately, or some nonsense. So it was definitely, it was definitely –

Shani: But –

Bridget: – the alien jizz, for sure.

Shani: But what was your, what was your ending point there, Sarah? What was your – [laughs] –

Sarah: There were so many opportunities for conflict, and the default conflict was Big Misunderstanding. And I’m like, you already have space-age translators, multiple class systems all colliding. We have a royalty class –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – and a peasant class –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – and then we have people who have been exiled and people who have a genetic mutation. Like, there’s a lot to explore here; there’s so much –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – possibility. We’re going to go with maybe they don’t really like me after all and I won’t make them turn into dragons? Like –

Bridget: I will, I will say that the second book, the big conflict is, one, she doesn’t want to be their mate, so that’s a reasonable conflict, I think, to be like –

Sarah: Yeah?

Bridget: – uh, no, I’m not going to be, but then of course she falls in dragon lust with them. And she thinks they’re –

Sarah: They have –

Bridget: – she thinks they’re dope –

Sarah: – giant bronze cocks.

Bridget: Yeah – when they’re, they turn into dragons, and she, like, loves that they, like, breathe fire and stuff like that, which is fun. But then –

Sarah: Look, it’s a primal aphrodisiac –

Shani: Yeah!

Sarah: – right, Shani?

Bridget: – they had a previous mate who died.

Sarah: Right, that was in the end! That was at the end!

Bridget: Right. And so she –

Sarah: The evil scientists killed her!

Bridget: Yeah. So she, her thing is, maybe they don’t love me ‘cause they wanted the other one, like, back or whatever, and I’ll always be second.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Bridget: And I was like –

Sarah: That’s, that’s valid.

Bridget: – I mean, they haven’t done a single thing to make you think that, but – [laughs] – I suppose you could get up in your head about that if you really wanted.

Shani: But, okay, but to be fair, right, so, like, like, I try to allow for peop-, peop-, people to be human, right?

Bridget: Yeah.

Shani: Which is like, people come with their insecurities and their –

Bridget: Sure, sure.

Shani: – their baggage and their childhood traumas or whatever, so I try to allow for a little bit of that. I just don’t like it to go on too long. Like, if it’s the whole book of them going back and forth with that same con-, like, conflict, do they love me, do they not? Then I’m like, no. Too much, too much. [Laughs]

Sarah: It’s like the world’s biggest daisy: he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not.

[Laughter]

Sarah: He loves me – okay, I’m getting bored; put the flower down!

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Shani: That was what, that’s kind of what happened in the last book in a way, where, like, the character kept going back and forth, back and forth, and I was like, DNF; I will put this book down right now. I will smack you in the face with this book if you don’t – like, like, I just, I just don’t like the waffling for an, too long. So she did, if she felt that way, I feel like it’s valid, it’s a valid feeling, but I feel like, address it, keep, and keep the story going –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – versus, like, wallowing in that space. Like, that’s not my, that’s not my jimmy-jam.

Bridget: Also, in these, like, in a shorter book, ‘cause this was like two hundred pages or something –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – in a shorter book/long novella, I don’t really care for that. Because I want, like, you get one waffle, that’s it, because it’s so short. We don’t have time for that! You have to commit to this so we can get to the fucking and to the relationship. Otherwise, if you’re going back and forth, back and forth, you’re not even going to get together before the end of the book is over. So it’s like, you’ve really got to, like –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – like, you know –

Shani: And it’s –

Bridget: – pick up the pace.

Shani: – it’s hard –

[Crosstalk]

Bridget: – fine, but also, I was totally on board that she, like, accepted them. She’s like, you’re my mates? Well, we may as well fuck. I was like, good for you. That’s what I would do.

[Laughter]

Sarah: I liked that part, but I thought they –

Bridget: Like –

Sarah: – I thought they moved right into the double penetration way too quickly. I’m like, there is so much buildup, not just –

Shani: That’s an escalation! [Laughs]

Sarah: That’s right! They were like, and we shall just jump right to the – like, whoa! Oh! I mean –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: [Laughs] Yeah, I needed a little bit more, like –

Bridget: They are aliens and dragon people –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – and they had to complete the bond. There’s actually a bunch of the alien ones I’ve read where they have to do double penetration for the, like, full bond to, like, snap into place or whatnot. Which is fine.

Shani: Yes.

Bridget: I wasn’t, honestly, you guys, I was expecting it: she has two mates, so, like, I honestly did not even –

[Crosstalk]

Bridget: – it didn’t even faze me at all!

Shani: Yes!

Sarah: And I could have done, I could have gone there, except with the way that it was, it was like double penetration and –

Bridget: No.

Sarah: – there’s no escalation from there, because we’ve already done the thing.

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Right, yeah.

Sarah: Blowjobs over the bathtub edge are not –

Bridget: Right.

Sarah: – this is, this is a de-escalation.

Shani: I’m, I’m a hundred per- –

Bridget: Yeah, right.

Shani: I’m a hundred percent with you –

Bridget: Yeah, that’s true.

Shani: – because they took me to a hundred, and then they gave me ten, and I was like, like, it didn’t, it didn’t, it didn’t get me all hot and bothered because they had already gone to the top –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – you know, so I hundred percent agree. I felt like they needed more time to set up that push and pull in the beginning, and then, and get that real tension going. And it, it wouldn’t have taken that long to do that. Was, that’s the other thing: like, it would not have taken that long. And then start with the, you know, the little things like, like, they went from, like, sucking her ankle to double penetration. [Laughs]

Sarah: They really did!

Bridget: You guys are forgetting about the entire scene, though, where they were in the cave –

Shani: Oh, where she passed out. She passed out –

Bridget: – and they licked her entire body and sucked all the poison out.

Shani: That’s what I’m talking about, where they –

Bridget: And she almost –

Bridget and Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: And I’m like, that scene was nice!

Sarah: It was!

Bridget: And then, then they’re about to have sex, and then they got interrupted, and I was like, okay, well, now we need a few more of these little interludes.

Shani: Well, she passed out, and I was like, y’all didn’t notice she was passing out? [Laughs]

Bridget: Well, they did. That’s why they stopped.

Sarah: That’s, I mean –

Shani: They were like – [laughs] –

Sarah: This is not cool. The thing about sex in a narrative is, I think that it needs –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – to establish tension but also cause more. So a sex scene is going to relieve sexual tension, and then if you just relieve all of it it’s like, well, what’s the point? It’s like the, the, the great jumping of the shark with a lot of TV shows: okay, they did it. And what else –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – you got? You know –

Bridget: Will they, won’t they? Well, they did, so now what’s left?

Sarah: Well, they did, so now what, right? So –

Bridget: Yeah, yeah.

Sarah: – with this setup, it could have been, we are going to go internally rupture with our dragon selves if we do not double down on you right now, but once we do that we will back off, we will get to know each other better, but we are in agony. Do you consent to us doing this? Because otherwise, you know, this dragon inside me is going to eat my spleen or something; I don’t know.

Shani: Ooh, Sarah! Write a book, Sarah! Sarah, write a book!

Sarah: But then they have to, then they have to be like, that was too much, that was too fast, we have to, we have to get to know each other better. That was a lot. Let’s, let’s, let’s, you know, go back and then rebuild, and they were just like, DP, DP, bathtub.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: And they didn’t create and sustain more tension after alleviating not a whole lot of tension to begin with. ‘Cause she was also, like, half purple and drugged by a mysterious toxin plant that she didn’t really seem to worry about –

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: I –

Sarah: – as a Ph.D. in botany.

Bridget: I, you know what I always, I missed it in this book too, was the, like, quiet moments of her fall-, of them falling in love with each other.

Sarah: Yeah!

Bridget: Because I think the balance – at, at least in the ones that I love and will read twenty of in a row – is the balance of, yes, she’s getting that good dick; yes, it’s wonderful; but they also, like, care for her –

Sarah: Yeah!

Bridget: – and they make her feel safe; and it’s the, like, small, like, it’s, it’s, you have that initial attraction where it’s like, oh, we’re fated mates, but then you also have to –

Sarah: My pants are aflame for you!

Bridget: – show me why they’re, why you’re in love for that one person.

Sarah: Yes!

Bridget: So, like, yes, she’s their fated mate, but what is it about her that is the thing? So, like, for Nyx it’s like that she accepts him and thinks everyone should treat him equally with Arax, even though he’s not a, a noble, and that, so, like, but I wanted more of those little things where she, like, teases Arax for being so commanding, or she’s, you know, whatever. Like, I wanted to see more of that –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: – the intimacy and the small moments, so that when they got to the pow moments I was invested in the excitement more.

Shani: I, I totally agree with you, because –

Sarah: Hundred percent.

Shani: – because, like, in that, beyond this book, there’s so many books I read where the main couple are only the main couple because they decided to love each other, but they have nothing in common. They don’t, like, there’s no funny, quippy things between them, and when I’ve read the love is intense, and then there’s nothing else.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: And I always wonder, like, when that book ends, are you getting divorced? Like, when that book ends, is there a breakup? You know, are you a single parent now? And is – [laughs] – like – because I was –

Sarah: I understand why you guys are, are fucking, but I don’t understand why you’re together.

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: It’s, there, there’s a disconnect there. I, yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Shani: This book had one of my favorite quotes, and you just –

Sarah: [Gasps]

Shani: – you just gave me a, another book that has the same thing. So she says, the draekons may be on to something: two cocks are better than one. And I was like, yes, ma’am, they are!

[Laughter]

Sarah: Can I share with you my favorite line? There’s always one line in books like these where I’m just like, well, yep, that’s why I read it. That’s why I’m here. This is my favorite: I shift my attention to their cocks. After all, I need to thank them for my luggage.

Shani: [Laughs]

Bridget: And I was like, yeah, you did.

Sarah: You know, you know somebody who –

Bridget: Yeah, you do.

Sarah: – who works in the unclaimed baggage department is going to read this book and be like, wait a minute, I didn’t know that was on the table!

[Laughter]

Bridget: I feel like I’m always –

Shani: That’s amazing.

Bridget: – looking for excuses to be thankful and grateful. [Laughs]

Sarah: That – that, that, that line was my favorite. I need to thank them for my luggage. Well, I mean, if you need a reason to get down with your two half-dragon, bronzed-cock mates –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – that’s as good a reason as anybody –

Shani: That’s a –

[Crosstalk]

Sarah: It could be that they’re there, you know?

Bridget: They’re just alive and in the same room as you. [Laughs]

Sarah: And it’s really interesting: they don’t have any conflict with her? She has conflict with them, and she invents conflict with them, and they’re like, nope, yep, she’s it! That’s good! Cool. All right, yeah. We’ll figure out this whole dragon thing ‘cause it’s all a mystery. We, our, our biol-, our biology has been hidden from us and our freedom has been stolen. We’ve been dumped on this planet, but yeah, she’s cool. That’s it; we’re good.

Bridget: Mm-hmm!

Sarah: Yep.

Bridget: Oh, so –

Sarah: Thank you; drive through!

Shani: So, Sarah, Sarah, my, my, my partner said to me the other day – so, so to preface this, right, I have a bad period and I get really bad PMS, right? So about three days before my period, like clockwork, I pick an argument that is, like, the stupidest, dumbest argument. The last time it was, why did you open up the air fryer without me? [Laughs] Okay? That’s, that was the argument. I wanted to open the air fryer! Why did you open the air fryer? Okay. And he said –

Sarah: I’ve been there. I’ve been there –

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: – and you look back on yourself and you’re like, wow!

Shani: You’re like, you’re just like, okay, that was the cross I was going – [laughs]. So, but he, so it didn’t faze him at all, right? Like, he just looked at me, and he goes, okay. He, like, walks off. And later on we’re talking, and he’s just like, oh no, I just expect that, like, three days before your period every month. Like, we’re going to have a ridiculous argument, and, and then we’ll just move on! [Laughs]

Sarah: Okay! Yeah! Well.

Shani: And that, and that’ll be that! And I said, you don’t get upset? He’s like, no! Happens every month. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yes! And it’s you, but it’s not you-you. It’s you, but it’s you with extra hormones and crap, and it’s really hard in those moments for me, I know, to be like, wait, wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Bridget: Let me dial this back.

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: Okay, am I, am I a premenstrual hosebeast right now? I think I might be a premenstrual hosebeast right now.

Shani: And sometimes, I gave him permission to say this, but sometimes he’ll, he’ll say to me – he said it to me one time and I was like, oh, keep saying that. He goes, he goes, are you feeling extra sensitive right now? [Laughs]

Sarah: [Gasps] That’s so sweet!

Shani: And sometimes, sometimes I go, yes! Yes, I am! I am feeling extra sensitive right now! Thank you for asking!

Sarah: All my feelings are on the outside!

Shani: Nobody ever asks me that, and I am! [Laughs] It just is –

Bridget: Oh my God.

Shani: I forgot –

Sarah: I –

Shani: There was a way this tied into this – I forgot what! [Laughs]

Sarah: That’s usually how my husband knows that things are up, ‘cause I’m usually extremely even-keeled, and then, like you, Shani, I’ll be like, you opened the air fryer without me? [Sniffs] Why did you do that? I’m very upset now.

Shani: I’m very upset. I wanted the new crisp smell of the box opening up. [Laughs]

Sarah: I wanted to crunch the Styrofoam!

Shani: That’s – I wanted to open the manual, see how you set it up! [Laughs]

Sarah: I’m really sorry he did that.

Shani: Thank you! Thank you! I don’t – I feel like nobody sees me, you know, Sarah?

Sarah: Yeah, I know!

[Laughter]

Bridget: You two are too much. [Laughs]

Sarah: So overall, having read a few sex planet, alien fucking books, how would you rank this one? How would you grade this book as a, as a reading experience?

Shani: Ooh. Okay. I, I generally rate all of these books that I’m not expecting too much plot, whatever. Like, I read these ‘cause I want to get off. That’s why I read them; let’s not kid anybody.

Sarah: They’re sexy! That’s the kind of –

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: It’s, that’s what it says on the tin!

Shani: And, and generally I don’t rate these more than a three, ‘cause three, to me, is the top of a, of a, of a, just a sex-romp book, right? I reserve fives for, like, oh, there’s plot and there’s a whole story you’re telling me. [Laughs] You know, whatever. So, like, this falls in a three; however, I did like the Ice Planet Barbarians more than I like this book –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – and I think, I think it’s because – beyond this being, like, the curse of a first book, right, where they’re giving me way too much information –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – I also thought that Viola was very close to one-dimensional? Like, just, like, just adjacent, you know? They just kept tell-, telling me about how she was lonely, about how –

Sarah: Right, yeah!

Shani: – about her father, but then it’s like, what – she’s a botanist, but she don’t do botany. Like –

Bridget: [Laughs]

Shani: – so, so I didn’t have, I felt like I didn’t have enough knowledge of her, and I felt like they could have put more knowledge of her if they just removed out some of the repetitive things. But I, I really, really, really dislike when they say things more than once in a book.

Sarah: Oh yeah, I’m with you there. What about you, Bridget? I think it says a lot that you and I are both like, oh, the, the next book in the series! I’m, I’m sorry, what was that? She’s –

Bridget: So, I always just get intrigued by things, and so then I, like, I have to know, and that’s like my, like, people have addictions to a lot of things. My addiction is, like, when I watch a movie, like, I have to watch every movie that actor has ever been in if I like them, or a director has ever directed. Or I have to, like, watch the entire TV show series, or I have to read the entire, the entire back catalogue of a certain author or something like that.

Sarah: Right.

Bridget: And –

Sarah: So you’re a completionist and a deep-diver.

Bridget: Yes. Although I’m not a comple- – as soon as I don’t like it, I will drop off – [snaps fingers] – and never think about it again. So as soon as the –

Sarah: Oh, interesting!

Bridget: – as soon as it’s gone? I will never – like, as soon as I’m like, oh, I don’t like this anymore, I’ll just never think of it again?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: But until that moment I will just keep on going and going and going. And so I was intrigued, ‘cause I was like, there’s so much, in this, there’s, like, so much plot! There’s so much, like, I was more intrigued by the, what’s going to happen when they get off the planet? How are they going to get off, ‘cause they got to get off the planet at some point, based on how much you’re telling me about all the scientists and the other shit. So I’m like, well, they’re getting off the planet sometime, so how are they going to get off the planet? Why are they going to get off the planet? Are they going to start a war? Is he going to become emperor? So, like, that’s the shit I wanted. Is she an empress now? Is she a human empress? And, like, that’s the shit that I am intrigued in, versus, like, I want a – whereas normally I would want to, like, read the next book ‘cause I’m like, ooh, that was sexy! I want to see the next sexy couple! This is more like, I’m like, well, let’s get to the book, where’s the book where we start to get into, like, some more of the, the stuff?

Sarah: The major conflicts –

Bridget: Right.

Sarah: Not the does he like me, does he not like me?

Bridget: Exactly.

Sarah: But the real class and –

Bridget: The sci-fi, the real sci-fi –

[Crosstalk]

Sarah: The, the, the real underpinnings of motivation –

Bridget: Yes.

Sarah: – and plot.

Bridget: Yes.

Shani: Like, in the back of your brain, like, when you’re reading it and you see some of the things they’re setting up, you can see, like, the road maps they’re putting down, but then, well, the thing about road maps is that there’s many forks your brain can take. They’re giving you, like, the first little inklings, and then your brain’s like, meh! And my, my brain, that’s why I think I, I got stuck on her being a botanist, right, because again, I’m hyperliteral. Bridget always makes fun of me – [laughs]. I’m hyperliteral when I read sometimes, and I, in these books I generally try to suspend my disbelief, but it doesn’t stop my brain from latching onto, like, these bits of information. So she’s a botanist, and there’s other scientists on this planet, but they can’t get off this planet because, you know, they don’t have whatever they need. But now they have enough knowledge, people with a good knowledge base, that they could start researching, or they could start doing things, or, you know what, they can ambush the next plane that comes off, comes to drop off more alien, you know, prisoners, you know, or whatever.

Sarah: Yeah!

Shani: Like, so my brain’s –

Sarah: That’s a big plot hole, actually, yeah!

Bridget: It’s not a plane. They, they do say it, but it was, like, such a short mention I had to go back and look again, ‘cause I was like, why don’t they just, like, repair the plane? They don’t, they’re not dropped off in ships like the one they crashed in; they’re sent in, like, escape pods, sort of.

Shani: Like a, oh, like a capsule of some sort.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Bridget: Like, like some sort of, like, yeah, like, it’s meant to be, like, a one-way –

Shani: Yep. But then he’s –

Bridget: If you survive, good for you –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – but we don’t give a shit, sort of.

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: Like, I don’t think they’re individual pea-, like, pod-sized capsules, but they do say something in passing where, like, ours aren’t real ships or some, some such.

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: But, like, then to, in my brain it makes sense that every scrap of metal that enters this planet, that they grab immediately, and they mention in the book, they’re like, oh, we could harvest the plane for weapon, to, for metal for weapons, and I’m like, why don’t you harvest that plane for plane? Like, who – [laughs]

Sarah: Why are you not harvesting this plane for its original purpose before it gets swept away by flood waters? Like –

Shani: Yeah, exactly. You know, sort of –

Sarah: – get on that.

Shani: So, you know, I just – and also, they’ve been there sixty years? I kind of felt like they would have a better communication between, from being far from their, their tribes and things like that, but these are, like, these are things that hit my brain that I go, Shani, it’s an alien fucking book; just let it go. You know? [Laughs]

Sarah: It’s a sex planet. It’s a sex planet with really tough terrain.

[Crosstalk]

Shani: Sex planet, aliens –

Bridget: I also wonder –

Sarah: Can’t find each other –

Bridget: I also wonder how far away they are, because when I read that and they were like, there’s other exiles on the planet, I was like, yeah, but if you’re in America and some other exiles get dropped in China, you’re never going to meet them! Like, it’s so far away. So they got, like, I didn’t – I just assumed that the planet was big enough that they’re not within – ‘cause they go on these hunts for weeks at a time, so, like, they’re not close –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: – and they also didn’t necessarily know, like, where they would get dropped or, like, when, ‘cause some of them got dropped like hundreds of years ago, and some of them got dropped six years ago, and some of them got dropped –

Shani: But that’s –

Bridget: – last year, so –

Shani: – that’s, that’s not, actually not what I, what I mean. I actually just mean communicating with the same people in their own tribe, right. So smoke signals –

Bridget: Ohhh, I see.

Shani: – some sort of –

Bridget: Oh, with the fourteen of, like, of their little colony.

Shani: Yeah!

Bridget: Got it.

Shani: Yeah, I thought they would have a better way of communicating after sixty years. And –

Bridget: Oh yeah. Before the rains come, like, some sort of –

Shani: Yeah.

Bridget: – like, hey, everyone –

Shani: Just some, some –

Bridget: – rain’s coming!

Shani: Heads up, you know! Like, just a way, you know. And one of my favorite lines – speaking of, like, they’ve been on this planet sixty years – is she, she basically looks at them when they tell them how old they are, and –

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – she’s like, are you eighty?! Like, or whatever.

Bridget: Eighty?!

Shani: And there’s this line where he, where they say, we intend to show you that we are not too old to pleasure you, and I was like, yeah, you are!

[Laughter]

Sarah: I read that line and –

Bridget: You can prove it to me all night long!

Sarah: I read that line, and I was like, that’s –

Shani: It’s like gra-, grandpas.

Sarah: – that’s, that’s what you’re worried about, that they’re eighty.

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: Not that they’re dragons; not that you’re stranded on a sex planet; not that your ship has been crashed by some kind of weird, hostile individual; not that you have now been adopted into a pretty nice colony with hot water and a dining hall? I mean, sounded like camp to me! That is the dining hall. Okay, sure, great –

Bridget: [Laughs]

Sarah: – yeah, absolutely works. Your friends are here, the people you flew with are here, there’s food, they’re busting their asses to feed you so that you don’t starve, they’ve clearly adopted you, but you’re going to worry that they’re eighty!

Bridget: You know what, though?

Sarah: Okay.

Bridget: Don’t think that your brain –

Shani: Sarah –

Bridget: – latches on to, like, the small problem?

Sarah: Always.

Shani: Yeah. Always.

Bridget: Like, like, you’re like –

Sarah: It’s true.

Bridget: – I can’t deal with any of this other stuff! All I can think about is, wait a minute, you look young and you’re old? What?

Sarah: You qualify for a lot of –

Bridget: What?

Sarah: – retired discounts, do you know?

Shani: [Laughs]

[Crosstalk]

Sarah: – retirement discount to get off this planet!

Shani: You’re like – you know what, though?

Bridget: You can turn into dragons? I can’t even, I can’t even deal with that right now, but you’re eighty? ‘Kay what?

Shani: Listen, this goes back to my, to my salsa dancing analogy, though. She should be really grateful that they’re eighty, okay, because, just like, just like salsa, when you dance with those young cats, they try to throw you around the dance floor, you’re breaking your ankles and all sorts of stuff, but when you dance with the old guys, they take it slow, they make sure you happy, they show you off, they really get in the cut, and you don’t have no problems, so those eighty-year-old dragons, they going, they going to do it real nice for her, okay. She don’t want them young bucks, okay? [Laughs]

Sarah: If only that were more true among humans.

Bridget: Hilarious!

Sarah: I do want to draw attention to one thing before I forget, because it’s not about the text? The cover, did you see the cover of this book?

Bridget: I did –

Sarah: The heroine, I don’t, I don’t want to, like, shock anybody because it’s not really part of the story itself, but the image of the heroine, she’s a little curvy!

Bridget: She is, yes! I see that.

Sarah: She has some, she has some –

Shani: She’s got back fat!

Sarah: She’s got back fat!

Bridget: Yes!

Shani: I love back fat!

Sarah: I’m very excited about this! You know, it’s not in the book –

Bridget: I feel like those two dudes aren’t big enough, and I feel like they should have made them stand on some boxes.

Shani: I was, I was not happy about the size of these dudes or the – [laughs] –

Bridget: They’re like, one of ‘em is like her height, and I’m like, he’s supposed to be a large, large alien man!

Sarah: And one of them is looking at –

Shani: One of them looks like her dad, and one looks like her son! And that was a problem for me!

Bridget: [Laughs]

Shani; That was a problem for me.

Bridget: Not that you just said that, I totally see it! [Laughs]

Shani: I couldn’t! I couldn’t! I, I had to not look at the cover because I was like, what?! [Laughs]

Sarah: But if you cover them up, like if you just take your hands and cover them up –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: I don’t usually see back fat on my erotic, alien fucking, sex planet romances.

Bridget: No!

Sarah: It’s pretty nice! I’m, I’m a fan!

Shani: I wonder –

Bridget: It is nice.

Shani: I’m curious, actually, where the picture came from. Like, if this was –

Sarah: Probably stock. It’s stock; the tattoos are manipulated, obviously. The coloring is manipulated.

Shani: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: Maybe they were in the picture with her? Maybe she’s actually holding a towel. I mean, it’s hard to know. Stock art gets manipulated in a brillion, bazillion different ways.

Shani: You always know when there’s another cover that comes out that’s almost identical to it, and a lot of these style of book, especially when they’re like the four-hour, five-hour at least audio –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Shani: – they all steal the same, they, like, all steal the same –

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Shani: – stock footage and stuff like that. Which I hate, because I don’t recognize titles of books. I take, I don’t remember titles at all, but I remember the image of the cover!

Sarah: Yes!

Shani: So, like, I think I’m, I might –

Sarah: It’s that guy, but it’s not that book! It’s that guy again!

Shani: That guy, yeah, again! And you’re just like, wait, but I really like this book; I want to read it again, but that’s not the book that I read! Where’s the book that I read? The same mafia guy is, plays, is on every mafia cover book that exists, like, and so I never know – I hate it, because I’ll go to reread a series that I like, and then it’s just, it’s just the same person; it’s just not, it’s not the same book.

Sarah: It’s that one guy.

Shani: Yeah!

Sarah: And there’s the guy with the, with the half smile who’s, like –

Shani: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – above a million different skylines? Yeah. I know –

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: – exactly what you mean. So, Bridget, what did you think?

Bridget: Overall. Of the book.

Sarah: Mm-hmm?

Bridget: You know, I’d say it’s a three. I, I was, I was fine with it. I wasn’t, like, super, super invested. Unlike Shani, I am happily, happy, happy, happy to give a four or five to these books if they are warranted.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: Because they are four or five for what they are, and some of them are astonishingly good, and I’m wrapped up in the story and the sexytimes, and I am in it to win it, and I will read them all. This one I thought was just okay. I didn’t, I didn’t hate it, and I didn’t love it, but I enjoyed it enough that I was like, I wonder what’s going to happen in the next book, which is usually a pretty good sign. ‘Cause books I don’t like, I’m like, that was trash; get this out of my house – [laughs] – and then I never think about it again. So I would say a three.

Sarah: Yeah. I’m with you. That is exactly where I would put it. There were some parts where I was like, ooh, ooh!

Bridget: Yeah!

Sarah: Like you said, Shani, with laying down maps and different paths, I was like, ooh! Oh, that’s a cool place to go! Guess we’re not going down there. Okay.

Shani: [Laughs]

Sarah: And then they would, would tease another possibility. Ooh! That could be an interesting – no, no? Not going down there either? We’re just going to go walk through these trees. Okay! And I would, I was following along, and I never got to the point of outrage of what the fuck am I reading? But I also –

Bridget: No.

Sarah: – never got to the absolute delight of grade-A, crazysauce, off-the-wall bonkers, where I’m like –

Shani: Yeah.

Sarah: – what the fuck am I reading –

Bridget: Oh yeah.

Sarah: – and can I have more of it? I never got there either. Three is a, three are, like a C grade is exactly where I would put this.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: Thank you so much for reading this book to talk about with me, you guys!

Bridget: You’re so welcome! This is such a delight.

Sarah: It’s so much fun!

Bridget: Sarah, we decided before we came on the podcast that we should make this like a, like a biannual get-together.

Sarah: Yes! Yes, yes, let’s read fucked-up books together forever.

Shani: Yeah! Yay!

Sarah: I love this plan! I love it!

Bridget: Okay, good.

Sarah: Because, you know, the thing is, with, especially with KU, if all you want to read is sex planet, alien fucking, you will never run out of books.

Bridget: Never. No.

Sarah: Like, it’s just replete. And if you want to read –

Bridget: Yeah.

Sarah: – like, skeleton fucking, I’m sure that’s in there.

Bridget: Yeah. I’m sure it is.

Sarah: Whatever it is –

Bridget: Yes.

Sarah: – (a) it’s in there, and (b) there’s a face group, Facebook group for it.

[Laughter]

Bridget: Yeah, there’s a Facebook group. That’s so true.

Sarah: It’s like, it’s like Rule 35 and Rule 36: there’s a porn, there’s a KU, and there’s a Facebook group.

[Laughter]

Bridget: So true.

Shani: And a subreddit!

Bridget: And a subreddit.

[Laughter]

Sarah: Thank you guys so much!

Bridget: Thank you!

Shani: Yeah, this is awesome, Sarah! Thank you, thank you!

Sarah: All right, if people want to find you, where can they find you? Legitimately, not, like, come to your house and scare you with, with, with alien fucking books. I mean, unless you want that to happen, but I’m presuming no.

Bridget: Preferably not, unless they are an actual alien and it is imperative to the galaxy’s survival that I go with them and breed. And then, in that case, there’d better be some alien technology to make pregnancy completely painless and happy and the birth wonderful, and you better change my anatomy into be better, faster, stronger than I currently am, and that is all I will accept from you.

Sarah: But your podcasting partner’s –

Shani: And then we’re ha-, and then we’re ha- –

Sarah: – a doula! You don’t need any of that! You’ve got like a full, you’ve got a doula! She’s right there!

Bridget: That’s true.

Shani: And then we’re, and then we’re happy to do our, our, you know, our civic duty as, you know, Americans.

Bridget: Yes.

Bridget: Yeah. Our civic duty as earth species, we will –

Shani: Earth species! [Laughs]

[Crosstalk]

Sarah: – things you’ll do for this planet.

Bridget: All right, you can find us at romanceataglance.com. You can also –

Sarah: Yay!

Bridget: – find us anywhere that you listen to podcasts by searching Romance –

Sarah: Romance –

Bridget: – at a Glance, and on Instagram we are also @romanceataglance, and to trick you, we are @romanceatglance on Twitter. And we are also on Facebook at romanceataglance. You know, we’re all the places that you guys might want to be, and we love to talk to people, and we love book recommendations, so let us know.

Sarah: Awesome!

[music]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of the episode with the sex planet dragon shifters. [Laughs] Seriously, I love my job! I will have links to where you can find Romance at a Glance, but if you search the app that you are using to listen to this podcast, they’re in there. And I will have links to where you can find and follow them on all your favorite social media locations.

I also want to make sure that you know, if you want to tell us about a book you read or you want to relax or laugh a bit or you want to tell me about mayonnaise – or you want to tell Amanda about mayonnaise; that’s who you really want to talk to about mayonnaise – please join us for our next podcast after-party, Tuesday, 7:30 Eastern, on Stereo. All you need to do is download the free Stereo app at stereo.com/smartbitches. You can connect with us live every Tuesday night at 7:30 Eastern. We get very silly, we laugh a lot, and it’s tremendous fun, and I would love for you to be a part of it. You can record messages; we play them during the episode, and it’s just complete mayhem. So please join us for our next podcast after-party, Tuesday, 7:30 Eastern. Go to stereo.com/smartbitches so you can connect with us when we are live.

I also want to thank you for leaving reviews for this here podcast. You are wonderful! Rating and reviewing the podcast is, I realize, a bit of work. As a person who does reviews, I really do get it, but it helps us find new listeners, and I am so very thankful for the things that you have written. For example, Avakos wrote, “This was the first romance novel podcast I found – which lead to finding 3 others.” Yes! “This one though will always be my fave! Thank you for doing what you do, especially with the website which makes it super easy to find all these book recs again and add them to your tbr list lol. Love it!!!” You are so welcome, and thank you to Amanda, who’s the mastermind of the database where you can find all the books.

All the books we mention are in the show notes, and I bet you know where! But I’m going to tell you: smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast.

And as always, I end with a terrible, terrible joke, which is another thing people mention in the reviews, which I also appreciate – thank you. This comes from Colleen S, who emailed it to me after seeing it on Twitter by way of @SocialMoi on Twitter.

Did you know that I can cut down a tree using only my vision?

It’s true, and it’s not ‘cause I wear bifocals and can bend the sun into sharp fire.

No, I can cut down a tree using only my vision – I saw it with my own eyes.

[Laughs] Love it! Thank you, Colleen S! I love when you send me bad jokes. You can send them to me at [email protected].

And you know, if you have a book that you would recommend that we read or a podcast that you think we should have on the show, I would love that! [email protected].

But for now, on behalf of everyone here, first, do not forget to thank your dragon shifter mates for your luggage; that’s very important. And number two, have a wonderful weekend with very best of reading, and we will be back next week.

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.

[slow-gliding music]