Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Sarah: This is quite a cover. I’m honestly not sure if I like it?
Elyse: She needs to see someone about her thyroid.
Sarah: I think the sense I get for this cover is “almost perfect.” If he’d been one step higher so they were closer in height and, uh, alignment, I don’t think I’d be so puzzled.
His placement between her knees is very hot – and hey he could be going down the ladder OR up, so perhaps my judgment is inaccurate.
Oh ho: “While he and Rebecca detest each other, several months before the fire, Roger and Rebecca have spectacularly hot sex in a library at a friend’s ball.” (per Lara’s review)
So this is leaning more toward hot for me.
Claudia: Her neck is very distracting! I would have liked it a lot better otherwise.
Amanda: It also looks like she doesn’t know what to do with her hands.
Sarah: Did this need the moustache?
Amanda: That looks like a poop log.
Sarah: Partially melted Tootsie Roll?
Wait, no, that’s worse.
Elyse: Am I the only one confused by his head?
Amanda: It’s very…phallic.
Elyse: It looks too small for the body.
Sara: What head? Where is it?
Buddy! Where’s your head?
From Kristine: Maybe it’s just me, but the dude in the cover of Tomorrow’s Lasting Joy looks clownish with that expression.
Sarah: His expression is definitely giving me the creeps. Holy cow.
Amanda: His hair feels attached to the hat.
Sarah: Wait, I think that’s a million dollar idea, honestly. Instead of dealing with hat head, tuck all your hair up and wear the Hair Hat so you’re perfectly styled every time? Genius!
Note that we are not using this image to promote this new product.
Uhm…In the Dearest Beast cover, is he wearing a yarmulke? Asking for a friend.
In the second, I guess it’s time to roll out the barrels. Also, he won’t be so brave or fearless if he puts her eye out with the brim of his hat OR his moustache.
The silent dude gives whole knew meaning to the term “helmet hair.” Also, why is there a hand gripping his light sword? Asking for another friend.
As for the last cover, bad news on your new product. Lots of people have already beat you to it. (Yes, I DID Google it, why do you ask?) She looks like a cat setting up the “belly rub trap.” He’s got that “I see what you’re doing there” look but thinks he’ll be the one to rub that belly and pull back an unbleeding hand. Yeah, good luck with that, fella.
TOMORROW’S LASTING JOY: Nicole Kidman goes brunette for her latest role, while Ryan Gosling “ages up” and goes all-in on the eye liner.
@Silver James
He is! Felicia Grossman writes historical romances about Jewish characters, and I love her for it.
Tomorrow’s Lasting Joy cover has my inner jukebox playing Weird Al’s “Marty Feldman Eyes…”
Well we know why the empire is silent — nobody can hear you under that helmet, so no point in talking. Plus one bang on that thing and the echo will make you deaf. And @Silver James, I am also wondering who’s grabbing the blade of his lightsaber and perhaps more importantly HOW they are grabbing it without slicing their own hand off.
That side-eye in the last book does not bode for joy of any sort. He’s just looking to steal her purse.
For the Rawlings — is anyone else seeing Kiefer Sutherland from Young Guns? The eyes are pure Emilio Estevez, though. Definitely some 80s realness.
I’m always puzzled by cover designers who feel the need to as “a novel” to the cover.
Do they worry that people will confuse it with a sonnet or a how-to manual?
DEAREST BEAST has weird waists. Her middle is short; his (at least) awkwardly framed. Aside from that and Amanda’s hand issue, nice.
THE BRAVE AND THE FEARLESS is nice too (night fair!) aside from the mustache which has collapsed into his upper lip.
The helmet design on EMPIRE OF SILENCE stuns foes with confusion.
On TOMORROW’S LASTING JOY her desperate need to signal disinterest has manifested a novel for her to stare it.
Empire of Silence: I keep thinking that someone has smashed his helmet down over his face slapstick-comedy style, and now he’s blundering around the place. I’m getting Laurel and Hardy meets sci-fi… actually, that sounds pretty fun.