Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Alea: On the one hand, the colors are lovely. On the other, wtf?
Sarah: Is this My Little Pony fanfic?
Also, why do shifters not have universal child care and must be finding daycare for their offspring?
Amanda: Dr Nips, Unicorn Woman
He just needs a big hat.
Sneezy: That’s a qilin, it’s not even a unicorn.
From Mabry: What’s with his ribs? What’s with his neck? Does he have an enormous goiter? Should he see his ENT doc? Why is his chin in such a weird place? Has he ever washed his hair?
This makes me want a cover that is blatantly nothing but random body parts from as many guys as needed to match all of the character descriptions. They wouldn’t even need to be attached. Just spread them out on a velvet cloth or maybe a big mountain boulder for this particular book.
Sarah: I am concerned about his lymph nodes. Like, very concerned.
Amanda: I thought the title was “Going Guacamole.”
Sneezy: This is giving me body horror adjacent ick.
From Pam G: This is primarily a font fail. Is that first word Moontit? Could be Wloontit, but there’s def some titty in there. Just incidentally, I hate all variations of this thumb sucking/finger licking pose and I seem to see them everywhere.
Sarah: Definitely Moontit. Although for a moment my brain said, “Moonut?”
Amanda: My vote is for Moontit!
Sneezy: Moontit for sure.
Another PamG suggestion! She says, “Horny Snark!”
From Pam: Is this, like, the ultimate brony romance? That coy, come-and-and-get-me-baby look. That sultry, heavy-lidded response.
Sarah: That unicorn looks SO annoyed. Did the Blue Man Group Alien leave blue paint smears all over the flank area?
Also, I can state with some authority that his skull looks like he was recently born vaginally. And that’s all I shall say about that.
Alia shared this same cover with me – clearly Blue Man Group and the Unicorn are making an impression!
Sneezy: …At least this looks like a unicorn. Even if it has the same energy as three squirrels in a trench coat.
The stethoscope on the Unicorn Daycare cover is UPSIDE DOWN!!!
Another vote for “moontit.” And thank you for the confirmation that the top cover creature is not in fact a unicorn.
I read it as Wloonlit and was soooo confused. At least moontit is funny.
I read squiggle loontit, the squiggle being like a a bad version of the curls Elizabeth I used below her signature. But thank you Sneezy for introducing me to qilin!
Do we really need to be told it’s a ‘Pamela Burford Novel’ when her name is already on the cover?
I really don’t like pouting men, reminds me of a bad, idea stealing, abusive boss I had way back and that just makes me angry even though it was decades ago.
I think the unicorn an blue man are playing that game when you pass a ballon or ball round without using your hands, they’re clearly about to drop the ball and get glowing liquid all over the floor.
You have to admire the dedication to arrange that stethoscope to lovingly frame his nips….
Hurrah, an All The Fonts episode.
:: hastily averting my eyes from Unicorn’s Instinct but caught ::
:: eyes yanked back as I catch the subtitle ::
Alphabet blocks? That means this is No. 21 in a series, to be followed by Vampire’s Instinct, Werewolf’s Instinct and so on.
Although Going Commando in cursive is hilarious–and three fonts is plenty when the mismatch is as glaring as this one–for peak effect they should have put it in Zapfino.
Moonlit? Moontit? Wloontit? Nonsense: it’s fanfiction involving Frank Zappa’s daughter Moon Unit.
Alien Abduction for Unicorns brings us back into the series. Alien Abduction for fill-in-the-blank.
I dunno, I got woon l’il’ temptation, and snickered. I knew it was wrong, but it scanned that way. Just not too literate, and the apostrophes are kinda blown sideways.
@The Other Kate: I just have to ask what you mean by the stethoscope is “upside down.” I can see that it’s been added to the model’s photo but just don’t understand your comment. Sorry to be dim.
To everyone else, I have read many of the books in this series and it’s about a daycare that only enrolls shifter children, since they have a tendency to shift whenever they want to, and the adult shifters don’t want their secrets to be exposed. The single adults, of course, end up in romantic relationships. The books can be a little bonkers but the author knows that and I have enjoyed reading them.
All the random body parts in Going Commando cannot possibly belong to the same person. They just don’t read visually. It’s like the cover artist dragged and dropped a bunch of samples, went to lunch without sorting them, and while they were out of the office the person in charge of fonts assumed that was the final cover design, slapped a title on it and sent it to print.
Thank you, Sneezy, I didn’t think that was a unicorn, the horn was totally in the wrong position. Also if I were the adult unicorn in that other cover I would def be side-eying Mr Blue Sky that hard too.
And another vote for Moontit. Makes me imagine he’s got the hots for a woman with very large, round and pale boobs.
The stethoscope part with the ear tubes is typically hooked around the user’s neck with the chest piece dangling down in front. It’s probably heavier than the chest piece because it has more metal, so in this picture it will start to slide down onto the floor as soon as he takes a step.
The first one looks like it should be Unicorn ‘S Instinct, as the possessive ‘s seems to have been dispossessed. But I am easily distracted by the cute baby qilin/unicorn.
Going Oomando (which is what it looks like) had me turning my head to all sorts of angles to try and work out what that body is doing.
Definitely Moontit. And the neck on that sleeveless shirt looks off. In fact, the more I look at it, the more I think that the shirt has been Photoshopped on afterwards rather than actually worn by the model.
Going Commando (guacamole was better though) does not seem to be commando at all, and looks like he is sitting on a toilet for some reason, like the camo pants are pushed down? Also, Moontit is sheer lunacy ;D
Sorry, not sorry for the pun.
I will give the first unicorn a point for having a proper lion’s tail (unicorns with horse tails annoy me, not that there’s really much point when it comes to mythical beasts) but apart from that it’s very WTF.
If I recall correctly, one of the first Shifter Day Care books was featured in a past Cover Snark too. I think that one involved a baby penguin and a bear of some sort (maybe a polar bear?). I can’t remember ever seeing another unicorn shifter book though, so I may still have to read it…
@jfhobbit: RJ Blain has a couple of unicorn shifter books among their oeuvre. Try Playing with Fire, about a fire breathing unicorn who gets drunk on napalm. SBTB snarked one of their covers a couple years ago. https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2023/04/cover-snark-we-have-llamas/