Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Shana: Falling for the Schooge? Snooge? Scirooge?
Claudia: Definitely Schooge!!
Sarah: I thought it said “Scnooge” and I thought a new word had been invented and I missed it.
I showed this to Adam and he can’t figure it out either.
Now it looks like Schooge.
I hate this font style so much.
From Linnea: Severe pectus excavatum—my medical opinion…
Sarah: Did he drop his keys or did he lose something more personal? Kade looks so bewildered.
Amanda: Is he trying to find his lost belly button?
Sarah: Or his lost shaker of salt.
Amanda: I was just explaining to my partner the hold Jimmy Buffett had on my parents.
From Darlynne: I … just …. whut?
Sarah: Is this AI? Or just some really gnarly attempts at cut and paste?
Amanda: It’s like he has a furry shawl.
Elyse: If it’s AI I’m less worried about Skynet, that’s for sure.
“Bold” is an accurate statement though.
Sarah: Look, little toofies!
Elyse: Teef!
Sarah: Wee teefies!
Amanda: Maybe not truly snark worthy, but he has a V for Vendetta tattoo and that made me laugh. Now I want to decode them all.
Sarah: He seems very sad. Meanwhile, I am very head-tilty confused because his left leg looks like it’s not attached to his torso correctly? Or it came off?
BOLD looks like he was halfway through a waxing appointment and just gave up.
Not a comment on the cover, but I read LOVE AND KEROSENE a while back and thought it was quite good. It’s a “late-fiancé’s brother” romance, but has a few twists up its sleeve. Not as over-the-top as the cover implies.
I’m guessing BOLD is that guy who thinks he can whip up a fantastic Halloween costume a couple of hours before the party and has just realized how very wrong he was. He found a cat ear headband (since his human ears are visible) his grandma’s fur cape, and a pair of plastic vampire teeth from a vending machine. He’s hiding in the alley crying because of how bad his friends were roasting him.
I do love a good sci-fi/fantasy cover. My only critique is that Mr. Bold really should be green or blue with tattoos for cover snark bingo.
@Melodie– Thanks for pointing out the extra ears on BOLD. And those definitely look like plastic vampire fangs. Weird that he has no body hair except for chest hair and the ex-bunnies draped over his shoulders. Does he shift between bear and twink as well as between wolf and human?
I’m not convinced Kade has legs. It looks like his body just tapers to a point around hip level. If this is a new development, it could explain his worried stare.
My brain insists on adding an extra letter to the mystery word on the 1st cover to make “schnooge”, on the assumption that it is German (or perhaps Yiddish). Open to suggestions on what “schnooge” might mean. Can’t stand faceless people, especially when one is wearing a sweater that (at first glance) makes them look like a mummy.
@Merle, I find the faceless people on covers bad enough, but an alarming recent development is that they are faceless, but still given eyebrows, which somehow makes it so much worse. (Like this image https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBb8Nef0NuZI-YyOlYx09US4REANkJMR5U6w&s )
German reader here. Neither “schnooge” or “schooge” (which is what I read) is a German word I recognize. So I went ahead and searched for the author on Amazon and,
spoiler alert for those who want to keep guessing,
drum roll: it’s “Scrooge”.
And Kade is sniffing his armpit, I think. To see if his dark embrace comes with that extra-dark male smell, perhaps?
Am I the only one who feels that “romantic comedy/romcom” is a term that applies only to movies and loathes it being stuck on books? Just call it a contemporary romance, because that’s WHAT IT IS.
I’m not even going to get started on “spice”.
Bold – I guarantee that is one set of teeth that is not going anywhere near my nether parts.
Mr BOLD looks sheepish instead, but his fur capelet is cute.
@Merle, I too am reading it as Schnooge, I think because my brain is finding that easier to pronounce than Schooge. It would make a great insult though: “Man, you’re such a schnooge!” Let them guess what it means.
Mr Bold looks more like the Cowardly Lion from an underfunded production of Wizard of Oz.
The more I look at Mr Bold, the more I find to laugh at. However, at least the word BOLD is easy to read – and if it wasn’t for the awful, awful cover art, those coloured letters would be more Cover Awe than Cover Snark.
Scrooge: except for the wreath, it doesn’t look Christmassy, and even then…
Kade: weird tapering twist to a tiny waist
Bold: my husband’s grandma had that fur capelet.
Kerosene: something about the back-wait contortion looks odd.
**back-waist
From the cover, I’m guessing a SCHOOGE is a creepy spirit that inhabits mannequins.
KADE seems to be experiencing the “genie” effect that happens when you minimize a window on a Mac. He’s looking down to see where he’s going.
BOLD’s WW logo, colors, and model appearance are giving me pro wrestling vibes. I’m guessing he is THE CHINCHILLA KING, who was orphaned in the Andes, raised by chinchillas, became their king, and entered pro wrestling to raise money and awareness. His 2 most loyal retainers ride on his shoulders, ready to distract opponents when the ref isn’t looking.
At first glance, I thought it was the “stooge” next door, which seems like an insult-y way to refer to a future love interest.
Is anyone else wondering what the cover model (if an actual human person) thinks about his cover depiction?
The Bold cover model was probably a handsome guy before the adornments. Now I feel like his expression says “i hate my life”. And it makes me laugh when i look at him. Also, I kinda want to read about the Chinchilla king.
I still think you should affiliate link these. Even a bad cover can be enticing. 🙂
@Ct: We used to, but Amazon got mad about adding their links to the images.
BOLD: Liam is hot, confident, and living the life — at least that’s how the world sees him. Inside, he is wracked with fear and conflict over his deeply held secret: Liam is a furry. He has dared to collect a few small pieces of fur wear and wants nothing more than to wear them in public, but doing so could cost him the respect of the manly men and womanly women of his social circle. When he falls for lion tamer Julia, with her strength of character and affinity for big furry beasts, he begins to wonder if maybe, with help from the right person, he might be bold enough to reveal his fursona to the world.
Kade’s abs remind me of the old MAD magazine images that you had to crease and fold in show a new picture made up of the original picture’s margins
Re: BOLD – After Sunday’s humiliating loss by the Chiefs to the Eagles in Super Bowl LIX, Travis Kelce has announced that he will be retiring from the NFL, effective immediately. While he has not revealed any future plans, sources say that – based on a leaked book cover – he has already accepted a position as Global Pop Superstar Taylor Swift’s primary familiar. Those sources, however, were unable to address why Kelce apparently had most of his usually-hirsute body waxed. Also unanswered is the speculation that the body groomers threw in a complimentary brow wax.
In any case, the New York Post will stay on this breaking front page story of little-to-no-importance, which is already seen as a stunningly head-spinning yet BOLD action taken by the not-usually surprising Travis Kelce.
Just…ROTFLMAO. Schooze? Do they both smell? Is the little smoke thing between them signifying odor? I watched a My Little Pony movie over & over with my kids (30 years ago?) called The Schmooze. Could this be the book version? And Bold…um, yeah. Just…whut? You Snarky B’s never disappoint.