Outlander 3.07 Creme de Menthe

Previously: Claire and Jamie did the do and then Claire was threatened with sexual assault. Again.

I miss Murtagh.

The title card is an old-timey hand pump fire engine and old-timey fire fighting equipement.

Claire defends herself by picking up a knife, and then eventually knocks the intruder down so he cracks his skull on the hearth. Jamie comes in to find this scene, and Claire’s like, well, situation normal, someone is trying to fuck with you. The guy is not dead, so Claire, believing in that Hippocratic oath thing, figures out that he needs brain surgery.

Fergus arrives with Jeanne, because people heard the fight, and Jamie is of the opinion to let the guy die. Claire isn’t for that. Jamie finds a paper that names the intruder as an exciseman, which means that Sir Percival doesn’t believe Jamie’s lie about how he totally has not expanded his business. Fergus asks if Sir P thinks they’ve expanded as far as Dundee? Jamie doesn’t tell him that yes, he knows Sir P thinks that because Sir P told him he does. BUT HE KNOWS. Jamie’s just like, “maybe?”

Anyway, when the exciseman doesn’t return, Sir P would start looking for him and the casks of whiskey, which is a problem, since said casks are in Jeanne’s basement. Jamie promises that they’ll clear them out, while Claire places an order for surgical equipment, including a trepanation drill. Jamie and Claire have a discussion about medical ethics and the vagaries of the criminal justice system of 18th century Scotland, and how Claire will get arrested for having assaulted him. Claire just feel that she has to try to save his life. “Stubborn as always,” sighs Jamie.

Jamie, Yi Tien Cho, the New Things One and Two, Fergus, and Young Ian pack up the casks in the basement and discuss their own view on the ethical implications of nearly killing a man who was going to kill you and then trying to save his life, and they all have a slightly different perspective on the matter. He tells the boys to sell the booze as quickly as possible, and don’t worry about the profits.

In the apothecary shop, a man is asking about remedies for calming nerves, and Claire immediately budges the line and offers to come treat the man’s sister for free if he’ll let her go first. (I guess that’s one way to appease your English soul for fucking up the queue.) The man’s sister has some “nervous complaint” and gives their direction and names: Archibald and Margaret Campbell.

Even though Ian and Fergus were told not to worry about the profit margin, they’re worrying about the profit margin, and haggle a buyer up from 50 pounds to 75 pounds, and get him to take three casks of creme de menthe, which is NOT exactly a hot item, as well. Ian asks Fergus about his Auntie Claire, and Fergus’ memories are that Claire is brave and can basically heal anything. But also she might have killed a few people, so… watch yourself. “If Auntie Claire killed men, it’s likely they deserved it” nods Ian, firmly. Young Ian knows what’s up.

Claire comes back to find the exciseman awake and yelling and struggling. She pours laudanum down his throat. Claire prepares for surgery (with Yi Tien Cho as her assistant) and Sir P shows up downstairs to see Jamie. He wants to search the premises. Jamie and Jeanne are like, search away, my dude (but Jeanne glowers at Jamie darkly).

Claire drills into the exciseman’s skull, and it’s kinda gross, but well done with practical effects.

In the basement, the empty basement, the exciseman searches tonight (sorry, that doesn’t scan very well). There’s a puddle on the floor, but it’s not brandy, it’s just water. “Oh, we have a leak. That’s why we can’t store anything down here.” Sir P leaves in a snit.

Upstairs, the exciseman didn’t survive the surgery, and Claire’s upset about it. Yi Tien Cho explains that Claire fought hard, and Jamie sends him off to find the New Things to move the body. Claire thinks that if she’d been in a proper hospital, she might have been able to save the dude, and that Jamie doesn’t understand that this has been her life for 14 years, “healing people without judgment.” And she doesn’t often lose a patient. (I mean, she hasn’t been in wartime surgery, lately, so….)

Anyway, she apologizes for the whole mess she caused, and he’s like, you came thousands of miles and two hundred years to find me. “I was living in the shadows, and you walked into the printshop, and it’s like the sun came out again.” Before they can bang on the heels of this declaration of love (with a dead guy in the bed) Claire’s like, I gotta go, I have a patient. Jamie: What. Claire: “Margaret Campbell!” Jamie: You don’t know these people. Claire: I have to go. Jamie: What is happening. From the afterlife, Frank says, “Bro, you have no idea.” Jamie tells her she can’t go alone, and she’s like, my dude, I can go across town, and also no one here knows who I am.

In a tavern, Fergus and Ian toast their success and profit making. Ian asks Fergus if French brandy really makes a hard-on harder and Fergus is like, actually it’s the opposite, but the buyer didn’t know that. There’s a barmaid that Ian has been ogling every time they go there, and today is the day that Fergus is determined to make Young Ian a man. Ian asks how old Fergus was when he bedded a lass the first time. “Fifteen. A menage a trois.” “A what?” “Two women, one moi.” Ian is scandalized and intrigued, and Fergus gives him a few pointers, and Ian is on his way. (But a man sits in the shadows and watches.)

Claire finds the House of Campbell, where Margaret is folded up at the table. Archie tells her that Claire is a healer, not a client. She’s been dosed with laudanum. Claire takes Margaret’s hand, and Margaret starts saying gibberish – gleep gleep, a moon choked with blood, and “Abandawe”. Archie asks if Claire knows what she meant, and when Claire does not, he offers to translate for “a modest fee.” They’re fortune tellers, and while Mags has the visions, she can’t articulate them, so Archie translates. Mags has slipped into a catatonic state, while Claire asks if she has trouble sleeping. Sometimes she can’t rest, sometimes she’s catatonic. Claire writes out some instructions, and Archie asks if teas are enough to keep her subdued. Sometimes she’ll go up to strangers and tell them things, but if they come to the house, then he can charge people. Claire offers to come back, but the Campbells are going to the West Indies in a day or so. Archie wants her calm on the trip, since she might get pitched overboard. Claire leaves with the instruction of no more laudanum. “And safe travels.”

After dark, Ian and Brighid are in the print shop. Ian is rather drunk, and singing. Brighid tells him he’s a terrible singer, and they kiss, and then go back to his cot. He turns her around and starts to go at it from behind, and she’s like, “…what are you doing.” “Is this not how it’s done?” “I thought you worked out of a kittle-hoosie?” Young Ian is like, uh…. I’ve… seen it… I don’t know what to do. “Tell me how you like it. I’ll do what ever you want.” She starts him off by putting his hands on her breasts.

Back at the kittle-hoosie, Jamie is counting the day’s proceeds, when Claire comes back. The New Things hid the body in a cask of creme de menthe, which he allows is not the worst place for one’s eternal rest. Claire asks if someone will notices, and Jamie’s like nah, creme de menthe isn’t exactly the drink of choice for Scots. “It’s no more than a wee bit of chaos.”

Claire thinks that it would be nice to get a place of their own. “And leave the brothel?” Jamie asks, apparently not actually hearing the words that come out of his damn mouth. He doesn’t see any reason to leave right away, they have everything they need and the rent is free, and he spends all his money to Lallybroch anyway. Claire wants to open up shop herself, and add to the family coffers, and Jamie’s being a dude right now, but before he can be all “women don’t work” Jeanne tells them that Ian Murray is there. Looking for Young Ian, most likely. Jami tells Claire not to tell him they know where Young Ian is.

Downstairs, Ian is completely godsmacked at seeing Claire. And Ian’s like, we greived for you. And you were being off not dead. It is kind of rude, when you think about it. They give him the sanitized for non-time travellers version of events, and Ian is just like, the fuck. THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW also where’s my kid? Jamie tells him that they don’t know where Young Ian is, and the last time Young Ian ran off, it was to go to Jamie. Ian worries about a press gang, and Jamie’s like, look, if a press gang got him, they’d be so annoyed with him they’d toss him back. Ian asks the Jamie bring the kid home as soon as he sees him. Jenny is “woefully distressed.”

Jamie shows Ian out, and Ian’s like, so Claire took the news well. Jamie: I haven’t told her, waiting for the right time. Ian: Bro. Jamie: It’ll be fine! Ian leave, and Jamie looks like he knows it WON’T BE FINE.

Young Ian is exactly where we left him, being ridden by Brighid, until she hears a clatter in the background. Young Ian claims he didn’t hear it (“DON’T STOP”) until it’s louder. They decide that maybe sexxing is less important than dealing with a break and enter. Ian sends Brighid off, and goes to confront the WORST BURGLAR EVER (seriously, keep it down!). He’s looking for the illegal booze.

(Okay, seriously, if you were a booze smuggler, and you found out in the morning that the law suspected you of doing the exact thing you were doing, you’d spend the day getting rid of the evidence, right? So why does the law think that Jamie is really dumb and just moved the merchandise to THE MOST OBVIOUS PLACE? It’s insulting.)

Anyway, they tussle, and break open a secret hiding hole where Jamie’s treasonous pamphlets are being stored. And, because I did say there are too many damn candles in this shop full of flammable stuff, a fire starts. Ian cannot put out the fire, and the burglar gets out.

Jamie comes back to his room, to find Claire glaring at him darkly. He remembers that glare. She asks him why he’s lying to his family, and he’s like, I can’t tell them the kid is helping me with smuggling, can I? I mean, you can. You could also tell him that you’ve seen the kid, so… Jamie says that he’s tried to send Young Ian home, but he keeps coming back, and anyway, it’s better that he’s in Edinburgh, rather the streets of Aberdeen or (gasp) Dundee. Claire: YOU COULD HAVE TOLD HIM. Jamie: They don’t know what’s best for the kid. Claire: But you LIED. Jamie: You lied a lot, too!

Claire: Oh for fuck’s sake. “You have no idea what it’s like to be a worried parent!” Jamie: no, and I didn’t get to raise my kid, and you let her wear a bikini! Claire: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE. YOU LIVE IN A BROTHEL. Also Frank was a good father. Jamie: was he a good husband to you as well? Did you fall in love with him again? Claire: No, and it’s very complicated and we haven’t had time to discuss this?

They still don’t have time to discuss it, because Jeanne comes with the news that there’s a fire in the printshop. Claire and Jamie run down there, and Jamie runs in to find Ian. There’s jumping from balconies! Jamie collects his nephew, while the fire crew does their best to keep the fire from spreading. Outside, Fergus and Yi Tien Cho find Claire, and they all watch helplessly until Jamie emerges with Young Ian.

In the Close, Ian coughs, but he’s alive. He tells Jamie about the burglar and the pamphlets. Sedition and high treason is way worse than smuggling, so they need to get out of town. Jamie will take Young Ian to Lallybroch, where there is no Alexander Malcolm. Jamie pays off Fergus and Yi Tien Cho, along with what’s owed to the New Things. He also tells Fergus to try to find the burglar and intercept him, and also find Ned Gowan, about the “matter” (he also calls Fergus “mon fils” which warms the cockles of my cold black heart.) Fergus suggests that maybe Jamie can take Claire somewhere else? Jamie’s like, nah, Lallybroch is miles from that other place.

Fergus: “Milady does not know about your other wife?”

Uh, no. No, she does not.

Jamie watches the printshop burn, and it’s the end of another chapter of his life.

RHG: Just as a quick note, I have decided that I will use Yi Tien Cho’s actual name in these recaps, since Mr. Willoughby ISN’T HIS GODDAMN NAME.

YOUNG IAN IS THE BEST. I adore him but being his parent has to be the most exhausting thing ever.   I also loved the bonding between Ian and Fergus and how Fergus is an excellent older brother in teaching the kid how to shenanigan properly.

I really like how there’s this undercurrent of this thing that everyone knows, and they’re all looking at Jamie like, “You haven’t fucking told her yet? What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Next week should be fun.

(REMINDER: NO BOOK SPOILERS.)