Jane from Dear Author forwarded us a cover image that’s so spectacular, we had to share it. And challenge you to caption it with the appropriate sound effect.
Jane: Doesn’t it look like she is squishing his 6 pack together and the muscles are going to burst out through the skin like some pus from a pimple?
Candy: FWARGH! I physically flinched when that cover loaded.
The coy way her fingers baaaarely cover his manly nipples is hilarious. And her fingers are causing the surrounding titty to WRINKLE. Are her fingers the equivalent of super sour candy FOR NIPPLES?
Sarah: Awful, isn’t it? Like he has saline implants and she’s massaging them.
Do you think his man titty sounds like that squelch when you jump on a waterbed?
And behold, a Smart Bitch Contest is born! Caption that Cover—Onomatopoeia Edition: What is the sound made my his man titty when squished by her stubby little fingers? Feel free to weigh in with whatever caption you like, LOLs or otherwise, but we’re looking for sound effects, folks.
Winner as judged by Jane, Candy and me will receive a copy of a copy of Manhandling by Karen Anders, and a $20 Gift Certificate to Amazon or Powells (your choice).
Here’s a slightly-fuzzy close up of the wrinkly squish to, you know, inspire you.
Scrufflesnunch
Squeeeksluuurpslosh
breast self exam: ur doin it wrong
nom nom nom
[ETA: FWIW, shudderlicious cover notwithstading, Karen writes a good Blaze!]
Glugglormph
If we’re allowed two
Squeeekiiieeee (like a toy)
Ploosh.
Psshloop
You know how when you rub your finger across a balloon, it kind of makes a high eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound?
And you know how when you press too hard it makes a big BOOOOOOOOOMMMMM?
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!
pherrrrrrt
She was alarmed by the hissssing sound her favorite toy made as she desparately tried to find the slow leak.
His nipples: linkle [It’s actually a verb, I think, but an onomatopoetical one]
He himself gives us a reversed gasp, because that’s exactly what you do when your nipples are handled that way: psag
The sound th-
Damnit, DianeN, you beat me to it!
Poppin Fresh Dough anyone?
I’m pretty sure that nipple’s channeling the Roadrunner.
MEEMEEP!
squorshsquorshsquorsh
Plursh!
No sound effect here – the first thing that came to mind was,
“Tune in Tokyo! Tune in Tokyo!”
Blub blub blub
(This picture for some reason (I am worried!) reminded me of the “Blub blub game” my sister plays on the round little face of her 2 month old son, which makes him smile, if he is in a good mood…)
hsssssssssssssssssssssssssss
(as all of the air leaks out….)
‘‘AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA!!!”
phfflllllllllllllllllllllllllllffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[veriword: hear22—imagine that 22 times]
*skeeeeeeeeeee* *snick*
“Damnit, Laurel! I need that nipple for…” *gurk*
*squorrsh*
“You can only get the milk from the third nipple by pawing the other two. Go for it you hot sex kitten. Paw me! Paw me rough!”
“Purrrrr…mmmslurp”
All she needs to do to find the leak in that deflating air mattress is use some soapy water and follow the bubbles…
Skheeeeeeeeekie! Tssssssssssssssssss….
Skheeeeeekie! Tssssssssssssss….
Skhee….ts….. Rrrrrrrrip! Huuuurhhrhrhrhrh..
Phooooooooooo~~~
….
…
“Damn it!”
floowishhhhh
“Don’t panic… the bicycle tire repair patch is in the garage; we just have to get there without my taking my hand away…”
Dang! Maureen, I’m sorry. I didn’t see that you’d said it first. But it really does look like he’s sprung a leak.
I’m trying to think of a sound effect while also trying not to choke on my lunch from laughter. This is beautiful.
I say…
YEAAAAAAAAAARGH! *splurt*
This is lame, but I think I have to go with:
“POP!”
Yes, the sound of a fragile overinflated balloon when it meets a small, particularly sharp object.
Le squeek.
Maybe it’s a game: she pushes in one and the other goes out…
squee… squee
FerSquelch, like when you squeeze jello through your fingers
flick flick Boiiiiinnnnnggggg!
because of the comment about water beds, all i can hear in my head is:
skadooooosh.
(yes, a jack black quote, but i always thought it was more the sound one makes when doing a bomb off the diving board.)
*squelchschlurp* drip drip drip…
What’s the noise of popping bubble wrap? Popiddlepopiddlepopiddlepop?
She: *sings* Stop in the name of love, before you break my heart!
His mantitties: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeep!!
She: The fu—?
His mantitties: I used to be a muppet on Sesame Street…
The sound of his luscious man titties rubbing together was not unlike the sound of a large woman’s denim-clad derriere sliding across the naugahyde-upholstered booth of a Minnesota diner after a fish fry.
Wait, I think I was supposed to enter that in the Bulwer-Lytton contest, or whatever that is.
Seriously, do the cover artists at Harlequin not realize that blue is not a flattering color for human skin? My second book has a blue man chest on it, and I’ve always wondered where they got the idea that my hero was a drowning victim.
fffscschhhhuuuftttt
recently17—I wish
Ffrt.
Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.