Earlier in November, Elyse reviewed the “novel” A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay, by Hunter Fox. Meanwhile, reviewers on Amazon also discovered this gem, and they were not idle.
When one reviewer called this “The Wuthering Heights of Billionaire Gay Dinosaur Fiction,” I jokingly commented on Twitter that I would not be excited until someone wrote “The Jane Eyre of Gay Dinsoaur Fiction.”
Then I remembered that if you want something done right you should do it yourself – and I did.
Here’s a short synopsis of my “book”:
Jane, a lonely orphan, travels back in time and meets a fetching T. rex named Edwina. Love blossoms – but Edwina has secrets she dare not divulge. Will Jane come to learn the pleasures a female dinosaur can offer, or will Edwina’s secrets, size, gender, and species keep them apart?
After some consultation, we decided that the best thing to do with this story is make it available for free from Thanksgiving until New Year’s, as our holiday gift to our readers.
It’s available for free now at Smashwords and Kobo. Due to technical difficulties, it’s $.99 at Amazon, but hopefully that price will drop to free when price matching kicks in.
Although I take full credit and/or blame for this monstrosity, it is truly a gift from us all:
RedHeadedGirl provided the acronym and description of the time-traveling conveyance. Her review of Jurassic Jane Eyre: “A brilliant study of the human-Dino dichotomy. If the Brontes were transported to the Jurassic era, this would be that book.”
Amanda provided Edwina’s fetching wedding attire.
Elyse egged me on so shamelessly. SHAMELESSLY. Her review: “It’s everything I could possibly want in a prehistoric dinosaur-on-human lesbian love story.I laughed. I cried. I peed a little. Five stars!”
Sarah provided inspiration, tech support, and the hideous cover you see before you. Her review: “A searing, ambitious tale that hurts my brain and my eyeballs, AND it looks like there’s Poser art on the cover – a win for everyone!”
We debated briefly about charging for this story and donating the proceeds, but decided you would best know which charities you’d like to support. But if you are transported to heights of joy and ecstasy by this story, and you would like to share the love, here are a few suggestions:
American Civil Liberties Union: If you read this and said, “That’s right, we ALL deserve freedom to marry, and we all deserve to read without censorship, too!”
We Need Diverse Books: If you read this and said, “This book is weird, but at least it’s diverse!”
[bookaside slug=”pride-prejudice-and-popcorn”] National Center For Science Education: If you read this and said, “Duh, T. Rex and Stegosaurus lived in completely different time periods!”
And for more conventional versions of Jane Eyre (and Wuthering Heights, and Pride and Prejudice,) check out my book Pride, Prejudice, and Popcorn: TV and Film Adaptations of Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and Jane Eyre.
So Happy Holidays from all of here at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books! May your time travel go smoothly and all the dinosaurs you meet be friendly – but hopefully not TOO friendly.
OH MY GIANT TOUNGUED PREHISTORIC BEASTS! (batman)
If the dinosaur were only wearing a tiny top hat, that “book” cover would look suspiciously like some recent photos from Teslacon.
Since I now think there have been more SBTB reviews of dinosaur romance/erotica than superhero romance/erotica, I now start the voting for finding/writing superhero romance/erotica. At the least, there’s a lot more hot cosplay of men and women in superhero costumes than dinosaur costumes!
“OH MY GIANT TOUNGUED PREHISTORIC BEASTS!” I misread this as “OH MY GIANT TONGUED PREHISTORIC BREASTS!” . . . Welp.
Wait, maybe that would be good in the sequel!
you guys are the best
I take a break from cooking, having just received my traditional forearm burn, and while icing it, I find this. I love you. I am thankful for you ladies every day. I think I know what I’ll be reading before bed tonight.
Speechless.
Absolutely (rofl) speechless.
Happy Thanksgiving! This sounds like great fun.
So many things to be thankful for today and, lo, here is another. You all rock.
FYI, the book is $1.23 on Amazon for overseas buyers.
You. Guys. Rock!
[…] Jurassic Jane Eyre. […]
*laughing*
This is why I never eat or drink when reading SBTB!
[…] Carrie Sessarago, author of PRIDE, PREJUDICE, AND POPCORN and, of course, JURASSIC JANE EYRE: THE DINOSAUR TURNED ME LESBIAN. […]
Thank you so much for writing this. When I showed Elyse’s review to my husband because I thought it was hysterical, he totally didn’t get it. And now he thinks I’m into dinosaur porn. Gay dinosaur porn. I SO have to send this book to his Kindle. His Kindle Fire with the carousel where everyone can see it!
I really can’t thank you enough.
I finally read this and OMFG – it’s so good! It’s pitch perfect – I laughed at the stout traveling dress and casual reference to boarding school orgies and lost it at “reader, I mated with her.”
You are a genius.
Is this going to be added to GoodReads? I read it and snickered my way through it and now HAVE to have it on my 2014 list.
You gals are the tops! Love it.