Jurassic Jane Eyre: A Holiday Gift From The Bitches

Earlier in November, Elyse reviewed the “novel” A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay, by Hunter Fox.  Meanwhile, reviewers on Amazon also discovered this gem, and they were not idle.

When one reviewer called this “The Wuthering Heights of Billionaire Gay Dinosaur Fiction,” I jokingly commented on Twitter that I would not be excited until someone wrote “The Jane Eyre of Gay Dinsoaur Fiction.”

Then I remembered that if you want something done right you should do it yourself – and I did.

Here’s a short synopsis of my “book”:

Jane, a lonely orphan, travels back in time and meets a fetching T. rex named Edwina. Love blossoms – but Edwina has secrets she dare not divulge. Will Jane come to learn the pleasures a female dinosaur can offer, or will Edwina’s secrets, size, gender, and species keep them apart?

After some consultation, we decided that the best thing to do with this story is make it available for free from Thanksgiving until New Year’s, as our holiday gift to our readers.

It’s available for free now at Smashwords and Kobo.  Due to technical difficulties, it’s $.99 at Amazon, but hopefully that price will drop to free when price matching kicks in.

Although I take full credit and/or blame for this monstrosity, it is truly a gift from us all:

RedHeadedGirl provided the acronym and description of the time-traveling conveyance. Her review of Jurassic Jane Eyre:  “A brilliant study of the human-Dino dichotomy. If the Brontes were transported to the Jurassic era, this would be that book.”

Amanda provided Edwina’s fetching wedding attire.

Elyse egged me on so shamelessly.  SHAMELESSLY. Her review: “It’s everything I could possibly want in a prehistoric dinosaur-on-human lesbian love story.I laughed. I cried. I peed a little. Five stars!” 

Sarah provided inspiration, tech support, and the hideous cover you see before you. Her review: “A searing, ambitious tale that hurts my brain and my eyeballs, AND it looks like there’s Poser art on the cover – a win for everyone!”

We debated briefly about charging for this story and donating the proceeds, but decided you would best know which charities you’d like to support. But if you are transported to heights of joy and ecstasy by this story, and you would like to share the love, here are a few suggestions:

American Civil Liberties Union:  If you read this and said, “That’s right, we ALL deserve freedom to marry, and we all deserve to read without censorship, too!”

We Need Diverse Books:  If you read this and said, “This book is weird, but at least it’s diverse!”

[bookaside slug=”pride-prejudice-and-popcorn”]  National Center For Science Education: If you read this and said, “Duh, T. Rex and Stegosaurus lived in completely different time periods!”

And for more conventional versions of Jane Eyre (and Wuthering Heights, and Pride and Prejudice,) check out my book Pride, Prejudice, and Popcorn:  TV and Film Adaptations of  Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and Jane Eyre.

So Happy Holidays from all of here at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books!  May your time travel go smoothly and all the dinosaurs you meet be friendly – but hopefully not TOO friendly.