OMG you guys, The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes is just one big basket of adorable and I never wanted it to end. This cozy historical romance follows the exploits of Marian, wife, or possibly (well, probably) widow to the Duke of Clare, and Rob, the highwayman who tries to blackmail her. This book is a sequel to The Queer Principles of Kit Webb and although I had no trouble following the story, I very much wished that I had read Queer Principles first because the characters and their story intersect a lot with this story. Also I loved this book so much that the prospect of having two related books made me a bit dizzy.

Our story opens with Rob, the secret and legitimate son of the Duke of Clare, desperate to avoid this ever becoming known. He likes being a crook and has no interest in being a duke. For complicated reasons, he decides to write a blackmailing letter to the Duke’s new young wife, Marian. She writes back to argue with him, he writes back to her, and feelings ensue.

Next thing you know Marian has followed Rob to an inn, drugged him, and tied him to a bed, shot the duke in order to protect her (adult) step-son, Percy (one hero of The Queer Principles of Kit Webb) and her new baby, Eliza. Following that, she returned to untie Rob, and abscond with him across the country.

“You have been busy,” Rob comments, when she returns to untie him and explain what he missed. Thus our story begins: these weren’t spoilers, people. This only gets us as far as the end of Chapter 4.

One thing I loved about this book is that while there is enough conflict in the plot to keep the story interesting and moving, there is very little between Rob and Marian. When Marian explains that another pregnancy would probably kill her, Rob and Marian simply refrain from penetrative intercourse. It’s not a big drama, it’s not something they have to fix, it’s not something they work up to eventually, it’s not something they risk with sponges or French Letters or pulling out – they simply satisfy each other in other ways. When a Big Secret is revealed, a moment that is often a big cause of drama and conflict in other stories, Marian takes it completely in stride.

Rob and Marian are just very, very good at accepting each other for the people that they are. Rob’s adoration of Marian’s prickly abruptness is my everything:

In his arms she felt as sharp as a knife and as sure as a promise and he never wanted to take his hands off her.

Meanwhile Marian is both mystified and captivated by Rob’s genuine fondness for people:

On the list of things that Marian liked about Rob, a list that was increasing at an alarming pace, the fact that he was so openly fond of the people he cared for was near the top. He didn’t conceal his fondness, whether it was for someone he had just met or someone he had known his whole life. And he didn’t try to hold it back, either. His friendship was like creeping ivy – all one had to do was let it be, and it covered the whole barn.

And how can I not include this gem, although it’s a spoiler, but not much of a spoiler because this is, after all, a romance novel:

All is not perfect with the book. The whole scenario is confusing – why IS Marian dead set on fleeing across the country even though, as Rob points out, her case would be bolstered by staying put? What happened to the dukedom? If Rob compulsively rescues cats, a trait I certainly love, how does he limit himself to just one per adventure? Surely Regency England is packed with neglected kitties! Additionally, this book doesn’t fully work as a standalone, since a lot of characterization of side characters, and a lot of plot background, are in the companion book, The Queer Principles of Kit Webb.

This book succeeds in that it gives an irresistible couple in sweet, goofy Rob and grumpy Marian. I adored this couple for their ability to think outside the box, their easy and complete acceptance of each other, and their banter. Their sex life, with very mild elements of BDSM, was extremely sexy, and I say this as someone who has read so many sex scenes that I often skim them or skip them (but not the ones in this book).

I also loved the elements of found family, and the way various norms of gender and class are subverted (for instance, Marian doesn’t want to remarry and sticks to her resolution, Rob doesn’t want to be a duke, and Marian gets along swimmingly with her stepson). Anyone who likes a hedgehog cranky heroine and a cinnamon roll hero will love this couple and this cozy, sexy, funny book.